Too Afraid To Love
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Too Afraid To Love: I'm Proud Of You


E - Words: 2,290 - Last Updated: Jul 01, 2013
Story: Closed - Chapters: 25/? - Created: Oct 14, 2012 - Updated: Jul 01, 2013
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Author's Notes: WARNINGS! - This chapter contains discssions of physical abuse, and a rather unpleasant discovery (I can't really say what it is withot giving anything away, so I'm sorry).

I'm sorry this chapter too a little while too - I've been so bust with college assignmetns, it's unreal. Hopefully I'll have the next chapter on here soon, I already have an idea of what I'd like to do with it.

Thank you all for reading/following!

Blaine tried to continue teaching Kurt, but it was proving difficult. Kurt was sulking; obviously annoyed that Blaine wouldn't tell him what he'd said. Blaine was getting distracted – it turned out that whenever Kurt was irritated, he ran his hands through his hair.

"Are you here for dinner, Blaine?" Burt asked, appearing in the doorway.

He hesitated. He knew his dad would be angry for being home late. But dinner couldn't hurt, could it? He looked at Kurt, who nodded, and then turned back to Burt.

"Yes please sir, if that's okay."

Burt was slightly taken aback by the way he was addressed, but didn't show it. He smiled warmly. "It'll just be a takeout pizza or something – Kurt's the one who usually cooks."

"Why am I not making dinner tonight?" Kurt asked, looking up and frowning.

"You are spending time with Blaine. I want you fluent in French buddy; I know you can do it."

Kurt rolled his eyes and watched his father go back into the kitchen. He turned his attention to Blaine. "How come you talk to him like that?"

"Wh-What?"

"You call my dad 'Mr Hummel', and 'sir.' You can call him Burt you know, he won't mind."

"It's… polite – just like I call my dad 'sir'."

"You call your dad 'sir'? Why?"

"He hits me if I don't."

Kurt's stomach clenched. It wasn't just the fact that Blaine's father beat him, but it was the casual way in which he said it. Blaine could feel tears burning his eyes, but he blinked them away.

"Pizza will be here in half an hour boys!" Burt called.

Kurt called back, and then stood up, moving over to Blaine. He sat beside him and put an arm around his shoulders. Blaine flinched, but he didn't protest. He liked having Kurt's arms around him. He leaned into Kurt's chest, smiling when he began stroking his curls.

"Careful Kurt, people will think you're going soft."

He felt Kurt's chest vibrate as he laughed. "Say that again and I'll punch you."

"At least then I'll know you haven't gone soft," Blaine shot back, laughing with him. There was a few seconds of silence, which were broken by Kurt.

"Blaine?"

"Mm?"

"What did you say earlier?"

He sighed. "It's a bit… Well, I don't think you'll like it."

"Try me, Anderson," he challenged, smirking.

"I… I said that you're distracting when you… run your hands through your hair," he said, blushing furiously. "I'm sorry – I know it was inappropriate. I'm so sorry Kurt."

But Kurt was grinning. "Is that really it? Fucking hell, I thought it was serious. You are adorable Blaine. I'm flattered."

He blushed again and Kurt winked at him. After a while, Blaine sat up and began putting his books in his bag.

"What are you doing?"

"Packing away… It's not like you're going to learn much more tonight."

"Am I that much of a lost cause?" Kurt asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Of course not Kurt, but the pizza will be here soon. And you're distracting me again!" He added as Kurt ran a hand through his hair, a wicked grin on his face.

"Did it ever occur to you that you're just as distracting?"

"I… What?"

"Ooh, didn't expect that, did you?"

"What do you mean?"

Kurt opened his mouth to answer, but the doorbell rang. He stood up, winked at Blaine, then went out into the hall to answer the door. Blaine could hear the quiet conversation between him and the pizza delivery man, and then he heard the door shut.

"Pizza delivery," Kurt called cheerfully. He went into the kitchen and put the boxes on the table. Blaine remained in the living room, feeling slightly awkward. Kurt stuck his head around the door.

"Are you going to sit there all night, or are you actually going to come and get some food?"

He smiled up at Kurt and stood, following him into the small, cosy kitchen. Kurt sat down opposite his father and gestured for Blaine to sit beside him. He sat, keeping his eyes low.

"Okay, there's twelve slices altogether, so that's four each," said Burt, putting the pizza onto three separate plates. He handed one to Kurt and one to Blaine. "Dig in."

Kurt smiled and took a large bite out of a slice. Blaine watched his tongue flick out and lick a string of cheese. He moved his eyes away quickly and picked up a slice of pizza, taking a tiny bite. He felt… odd. They were a family – even though it was only Kurt and Burt, it was obvious how close they were. Blaine envied that. His family never ate together – his father was either out at work, or drunk, and his mother… well, she never left her bedroom. He was normally left to cook for himself.

By the time Kurt and Burt had finished eating, Blaine had only ate one slice. When he caught them watching him, he pushed his plate towards them.

"I'm full, thank you sir." He said to Burt, taking care to avoid his eyes.

"You've barely touched your food Blaine… Surely you're hungry?" He shook his head and Burt sighed. "Do you want to talk then?"

Blaine raised his head, his eyes wide. He looked at Kurt, obviously terrified. "O-Okay, sir," he said, his voice barely more than a whisper.

"First thing's first, you're allowed to call me Burt. I've never asked any of Kurt's friends to call me 'sir' before, it's just not me. Burt's fine." Blaine nodded. "Now… you know what I'm going to say, don't you?" He nodded again. "Can you start from the beginning?" He was silent, obviously unsure what to say. "When did it all start?"

"I… I don't really know. I can't remember a time when I wasn't afraid of him. When I was younger, and Cooper, my brother, still lived with us, I would be locked in my room. And I'd hear shouts and screams from them all. I know it was my father, attacking Cooper… but I was too young to understand." Blaine could feel tears in his eyes. He took a deep breath. "My… My father thinks I'm a disappointment. He doesn't like the way I dress, the way I look, or the way I act…."

"What about your mother?" Burt said softly, his eyes fixed on the boy in front of him. "Can't she do anything about this?"

"Mr Hummel, my mother can't even look after herself. She's not… normal. She never comes out of her bedroom, and the only time I get to see her is when my father's out, so I can go in with her. She sometimes knows I'm there, but sometimes she doesn't. I know she's on a lot of tablets… I don't really know what's wrong with her, only that she isn't mentally stable."

His voice broke at the end. Burt could tell how much it was hurting him to talk, but it was necessary. He spoke again, trying to remain calm.

"And how often does your father… hurt you?"

"He does it every day," Blaine murmured. He could see Kurt shaking with fury next to him.

"And how bad is it?"

"N-Not very… I just have to be careful how I walk-"

"Blaine, don't you dare lie to my dad," Kurt interrupted. "I've seen what that bastard did to you. You could barely breathe."

"It's nothing," he said, unable to meet Kurt's gaze. "It's just bruises."

"And how many more are you willing to get? I… I can't let you go back there, I just can't!"

"Why do you even care Kurt? You said it yourself; you hate everyone at McKinley, in this town. Why am I any different?"

"I care about you Blaine!"

The room was quiet. The silence was eventually broken by Burt, who was looking from his son, to Blaine.

"What do you say about staying here a couple of times a week, at least?" He said.

"Wh-What?"

"You heard me. If you won't go to the police, then we need to think of a way of getting you out of the house and away from your dad."

He shook his head. "No, I can't. I'm sorry Mr Hummel, but my mother needs me. She doesn't like me being away from the house. I'm… I'm sorry sir."

"I told you not to call me sir," Burt said, smiling. He leaned forward. Blaine automatically flinched, ready to be beaten. But the blows he expected never came. Instead, he felt warm pressure on his shoulder – Burt's hand.

"I'm not going to hurt you Blaine, you need to remember that." He stood up, putting the plates on the side. "I'll do these dishes later. Why don't you two go and hang out for a bit? You've been working for hours. Blaine, take this pizza with you." He handed him his plate with the untouched pizza on, and smiled. "I'll be in the living room."

Kurt nodded at his father and watched him go. Then he turned to Blaine.

"You're very brave," he whispered.

"I… What?"

"I said you're very brave." Blaine frowned at him and he sighed. "You're braver than me. I'm proud of you."

He laughed at his. "Now you know that isn't true. You're the school's badass."

"True," he said, smirking. "But I don't think I could put up with what you do. I mean, I still think you should report him, but…"

"You know I won't do that," Blaine finished for him. Kurt nodded.

"And that breaks my heart… because you don't deserve any of this. You deserve to be happy." He rolled his eyes and Kurt flicked his nose lightly. "Don't roll your eyes at me, or I'll beat you up."

Blaine laughed again. "Like I said before, at least then people will know you haven't gone soft."

Kurt rolled his eyes and pulled Blaine into a hug. "You'd better appreciate this, I don't hug people. Ever."

Blaine nodded, relaxing into Kurt's arms. "I do appreciate it," he said in a soft voice. After a few seconds, he spoke again. "Kurt, what were you going to say before, just before the pizza came?"

"Which part?"

"You said I was a distraction."

Kurt grinned. "I did. Well, you are Blaine. You walk around in your little bowties, and your sweaters. You're adorable, okay? And I find it hard to concentrate when you're around because of that."

"You think I'm adorable?" Blaine repeated sceptically. Kurt nodded.

"Yes. You're cute, okay? And you think I'm a fine piece of ass, so we're even."

"I never said you were a-"

"You were thinking it, that's all that counts!"

Blaine rolled his eyes, then felt something buzz in his pocket. He took his phone in his hand and smiled.

"It's my dad," he said quietly. Without looking at Kurt, he answered the call. "Hello?"

"Where the fuck are you?" His dad snarled.

"I'm at a friend's house. Do you… do you want me to come home?

"You don't have any friend's Blaine. Unless… are you with those fucking Dalton fags again?"

"No sir, I made a friend at McKinley and I'm tutoring him French. I'm sorry, I'll leave now."

"As long as it isn't that queer from the other day, I don't give a shit. Get your ass home now, I'll be there in a few hours."

"You aren't home?"

"No, I'm about to go out. Just fucking get your ugly, piece of shit ass home this instant. Remember, I'll know if you're lying Blaine."

"Okay sir, I'm sorry. I'll leave now." The line went dead. Blaine sighed and turned to face Kurt, who was glaring at him. "What?"

"You let that bastard walk all over you!" He snapped. "This has got to stop!"

"I'll work something out," he said quietly. "I'm sorry I have to go Kurt. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Don't be a fucking moron, I'm going with you."

"I can walk by myself."

"Shut up Blaine, I'm driving you."

He ignored Blaine's protests and walked into the living room.

"Dad, Blaine has to go. I'm dropping him home okay? Don't worry, I shouldn't be too long."

Blaine heard Burt agree and Kurt reappeared, carrying his things. He handed Blaine his bag and jacket. They walked out of Kurt's house and got into his car.

Blaine gave him quiet directions and Kurt took off.

"I had no idea you lived here."

"What do you mean?"

"Well… it's not exactly the nicest of neighbourhoods, is it?"

Blaine shrugged. In all honesty, he agreed with what Kurt was saying. But at the same time, this was where he had to go every night – he couldn't afford to be depressed about it.

Kurt didn't speak again until they were outside Blaine's apartment.

"Can… Can I come in with you? Just for a minute, I want to make sure you're okay."

Blaine nodded. He opened the door and stepped inside. It was a relief that his father was nowhere around.

"I'm home, Mamma!" He called, addressing her the way he always did. He called her 'mamma' even when he was a small child. Silence was the only thing that answered him. That was strange – normally she answered him straight away, no matter what time it was. "Mamma?" he repeated. He glanced at Kurt and made his way to his mother's bedroom. He tried to open the door, but it was locked. This set Blaine into panic mode.

"Mamma, mamma, open the door! Please mamma!" He banged on it as hard as he could. He looked at Kurt hopelessly.

"Stand back," he said. Blaine did as he was told. Kurt kicked the door as hard as he could – Blaine let out a small cry when it opened with a crash. His father was going to kill him. He walked into the bedroom slowly, frowning when his mother wasn't inside.

"Mamma… where have you gone?" He took another step into the room. That was when he saw the bathroom door slightly ajar. He opened it slowly.

Blaine nearly vomited at the sight before him. He knew it was something he would never forget in his life. He let out a scream and fell to his knees. Kurt ran next to him and gave a sharp gasp. His hand flew up to cover his mouth and his eyes were wide.

There, on the bathroom floor, was a knife. Beside that, lying in a pool of her own blood, was Blaine's mother.


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(Slight spoiler)WOAH WOAH WOAH OMG LIKE WHAT JUST HAPPENED AHHHHHHASDKIVQDGKOTEGSWFHV Otherwise, it's a really good fic, lol! Update soon please(:

Omg...was not expecting that...whew...but Blaine can leave now right???? He has to be safe!! Thanks for another great chapter!

omg! please update soon before i die! omg :( his mom killed herself? omg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :(and kurt and blaine just need to kiss already! they are adorable!

I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry. I know I'm a horrible person!:(