Too Afraid To Love
batwaynebruceman
Facing The Music Previous Chapter Next Chapter Story
Give Kudos Track Story Bookmark Comment
Report

Too Afraid To Love: Facing The Music


E - Words: 3,575 - Last Updated: Jul 01, 2013
Story: Closed - Chapters: 25/? - Created: Oct 14, 2012 - Updated: Jul 01, 2013
870 0 3 0 0


Author's Notes: I'm sorry for the wait my lovelys! I had a little trouble with this chapter - my mind kept wandering. I had so many ideas, but no idea how to write them down so hopefully this is okay. I'm not really sure what I think. Don't forget to review guys - they constantly give me ideas!Warnings for this chapter are swearing, some minor violence and homophobia.

The minute the bell rang, every student in the classroom jumped to their feet and bolted for the door, desperate to leave school for the day. Kurt rolled his eyes at them and stood, packing his books into his bag slowly. By the time he left the classroom, the corridors were empty. He swore quietly, remembering he needed to get some more of his books from his locker. With a sigh, he turned. Being a few minutes late for glee wouldn't be too bad. He knew the set list like the back of his hand – all he had to do was remember the steps and sing the harmonies.

He reached his locker and took a couple of his homework books from inside. Without warning, he was shoved into the metal. Kurt knew without turning who had done it.

"You fucking homo," Karofsky spat. His friend, Azimio, laughed harshly. Kurt just raised an eyebrow at them – there were so many things he was dying to say, but he knew the consequences wouldn't be good. He really wasn't in the mood to kick their asses.

"What do you want?" He snapped, closing his locker with unnecessary force.

"You're disgusting," Karofsky yelled in his face. "It was bad enough before, when it was just you prancing around, sprinkling fairy dust everywhere. Now you've shacked up with another homo and you're parading it around and shoving it in our faces. You're vile!"

"You're a fine one to talk!" Kurt bellowed back, shoving him as hard as he could. "Do you really want me to say it Karofsky, in front of your friend?"

"We both know you wouldn't dare-"

"Do you? Do you really know that though? You never expected me to tell anyone, did you? Well guess what, I did. I told Blaine, and I told our friends. Yeah, that's right," he said when Azimio snorted. "I have friends. Who'd have ever thought it right; gay person like me, having friends. What are the fucking odds?" He was nose-to-nose with Karofsky now, shouting in his face. Karofsky didn't back away.

"Kurt, what's going on?"

They turned to see Blaine, Puck and Santana stood a few feet away, watching them closely. Puck had spoken; his eyes were narrowed and fixed on Karofsky. Santana looked ready to pounce on him and Azimio, but Blaine's eyes were wide and slightly scared-looking. Kurt fixed his gaze on Blaine. His expression was hard to read, but Kurt knew exactly what he was thinking. Blaine didn't want him to get hurt; he wanted him to back away before anything happened.

"Oh, look at this Hummel; you have your fag-ass boyfriend, a lesbian, and a man-slut to back you up!"

"Come on Dave," Azimio said, trying to pull him away. He was eyeing Puck nervously, knowing that he wasn't afraid to of a fight and would probably beat them to a pulp. "It's not worth it."

Karofsky wouldn't budge. "Of course it's worth it – I wouldn't miss the chance to kick the shit out of Kurt Hummel if my life depended on it. He deserves it."

"I think you'll find, Karofsky, that if anyone in this hallway deserves to have the shit kicked out of them, it's you."

All eyes turned to Blaine, shocked. He was shaking with rage. Kurt gave him a small grin, but was still worried. On one hand, he was overwhelmed that Blaine was sticking up for him again, but Karofsky was dangerous, and he knew that he wouldn't be afraid to fight him. Puck and Santana watched Blaine in awe – they knew what had happened that morning, how he had stood up to Karofsky, and were secretly hoping for a repeat of it.

"Are you asking for a fight, homo?" Karofsky bellowed, turning to Blaine. "Because I'll fucking give you one!"

Blaine was completely unfazed by him. He took a calm step forwards, his eyes narrowed. Sure, he was afraid, but not of getting hurt – he didn't want anything to happen to Kurt.

"I suggest you walk away now Karofsky. I'm not afraid to hit you. I've been told that I can throw a punch, I don't mind testing that on your face."

Kurt laughed at this, remembering the same thing Blaine was – back in his bedroom, when Blaine had been having a nightmare and punched him in the face, making his nose bleed. Karofsky shoved Kurt's body away from him and stood over Blaine.

"Why don't you fucking try it," he snarled. Blaine opened his mouth, but never got the chance to speak. Karofsky gripped the front of his jumper and threw him, full force, into the lockers. Blaine's body hit the metal with an almighty smash, his face screwed up in pain. He didn't fall to the floor, as Karofsky expected. Instead, he let out a bitter laugh, standing up straight. Before he could say anything, Karofsky smashed his fist into Blaine's face, cackling. He gripped his hair and threw his face into the cold metal repeatedly, ignoring the frantic attempts from Kurt, Santana and Puck to pull him back.

"Karofsky, stop," Kurt screamed. Karofsky froze, his fist inches from Blaine's head. "You want to take your anger out on someone, do it to me."

He sneered and let go of Blaine, who sank to the floor, his eyes closed. "You asked for it Hummel, not like you did before."

Kurt wondered why the hell he was being so bold, but then he realised – Azimio had fled. Karofsky didn't care that Puck and Santana heard. He had probably guessed that they already knew.

"You screamed my name, didn't you?"

Something cold and hard gripped Kurt's stomach, twisting around. There was a huge lump in his throat and he felt like he was going to be sick. Sure, Karofsky had thrown him smug glances since the incident as Kurt thought of it, but he had never ever openly bragged about what he did.

"That's enough!" Santana yelled, giving him a hard shove. "You're disgusting, I can't believe you." She turned to Puck, who was knelt beside Blaine, trying to wake him up. "Am I the only one who's going to kick this bastard's ass?"

"Shut up you cheap whore," Karofsky snapped, throwing her to the floor beside Blaine. All of her weight landed on her wrist, and they heard a loud, sickening crack. Santana let out a cry of pain and Puck turned to her, panicking. She was pale and looked faint, but she was conscious. Puck didn't leave Blaine's side though; he was still trying to get him to open his eyes. Blaine was conscious, just not responding to him.

"You broke her fucking wrist!"

"Shut the fuck up, Puckerman! Now, Hummel," he growled, turning back to Kurt. "Where were we?" He reached his hand out, putting it on his cheek. He had the horrid feeling of déjà vu. If there was one thing that made him sick to his stomach, it was the feel of Karofsky touching his skin. Kurt threw his hand off him furiously. "Oh, you're actually fighting this time, are you? Not like before. You loved it Hummel, admit it. You were screaming my name."

"I was screaming at you to get off me! They know what you did; I will not let it happen again!"

"Then maybe I should take your boyfriend instead, one look at him tells me his ass is a virgin, just like yours was."

"Don't you fucking dare-"

Karofsky grabbed Kurt's hair and slammed his head back into the wall. Kurt shoved him away, landing a punch on the other boy's skull. Santana was yelling, furious that Puck wouldn't let her up and join the fight. He had managed to get Blaine to open his eyes, but he was having trouble focusing.

"What's with all this shouting?" Blaine asked groggily. He was silent for a fraction of a second before remembering. "Kurt!" He tried to stand up, but Puck pushed him back down.

"You aren't going anywhere pretty boy; you've hit your head."

"But Puck, Kurt-"

"Come on then Hummel, let's finish what we started!" snarled Karofsky, ignoring the others.

"What we started?" Kurt spat back, his hands gripping the front of the other boy's shirt to keep him away. "You're one who started it all when you fucking raped me!"

"And I'd gladly do it again!" He said, throwing Kurt against the wall and pinning him there by his throat.

"BOYS, what the hell is going on?"

Everyone froze and turned to the source of the voice. Coach Sylvester was stood there, her eyes wide. For the first time, Dave Karofsky looked scared. There was a few seconds of silence before Mr Schue came running around the corner, the rest of the glee club behind him. They had obviously been attracted by the amount of noise they were making.

"Why is there so much shouting – Sue, have you said something to these… Guys, why aren't you in glee? What's going on?"

Sue completely ignored Will, her eyes fixed on Kurt and Karofsky, who still had hold of Kurt's throat, but nowhere near as tightly as before.

"Did I just hear that right?" She said in a quiet voice. When no one answered, she spoke again, her voice harsher than before. "Did I hear Porcelain correctly?"

"Yes," Santana whispered. She got to her feet carefully. "Yes Coach Sylvester, you heard Kurt right."

"Karofsky, get your lardy ass to the Principal's office NOW!"

Karofsky looked petrified. He released Kurt, turned on his heel and walked away as quickly as he could, as though he was happy to escape the scene.

"Porcelain," she said softly, approaching him. He flinched when she put her hand on his arm. "Are you alright?"

He didn't answer, not trusting his voice. He still felt like he was going to throw up. He just shook his head and bent down in front of Blaine, caressing his face.

"Blaine? Honey, look at me. Are you alright?" Kurt knew it was a stupid question – he'd had his head smashed into a locker. But he couldn't help but ask. Slowly, Blaine nodded. He got to his feet carefully, being supported by Kurt and Puck.

"Will someone please tell me what the hell is going on?" Mr Schue snapped. "Someone tell me why Dave Karofsky has been sent to Principal Figgins, why Santana is holding her wrist like it's broken, why Kurt was being pinned to the wall and is now crying, and why Blaine needs to be held up by two people, or I swear I'm going to lose it."

"Will, maybe you should just calm down," Sue said. Everyone was taken aback at how soft her voice was. "I'll explain everything to you in a minute; just let me get this sorted."

"Regionals are tomorrow," Rachel said loudly, "and half of glee club decided not to show up to rehearsal!"

"Shut up Berry, my wrist may be broken but I can still kick your ass," Santana snapped.

"Santana, don't talk to her like that, she has a point-"

"Mr Schue, you have no idea what's going on!"

Everyone burst into an argument. No one seemed to be taking Rachel's side, but they were all obviously irritated that this had happened so close to their competition. Mr Schue and Sue were arguing loudly, Blaine swayed on his feet, gripping Kurt's arm as hard as he could to keep upright and Santana was being held back from attacking Rachel by Puck. The arguments showed no signs of letting up. When Blaine gave a soft cry, Kurt had enough.

"I was raped!" He shouted. Everyone went silent immediately. "There you go, I said it. Karofsky didn't just bully me," he said to the two teachers. The glee club were silent, as though they were dreading what was going to happen. They'd heard what happened before, but they had never seen how much it affected Kurt. They had never seen him cry, not like he was at that moment. "One day… He slammed me into the lockers, like usual, but I'd had enough. I followed him into the locker room and demanded to know what his problem was. He kissed me." He saw Mr Schue's eyes narrow and Sue's nostrils flare, but he continued. "I shoved him away but he pinned me to the wall. He… He made me give him a blow job." His voice broke slightly and he could feel tears burning his eyes. "And it carried on like that for the rest of the school year."

"Why didn't you say anything Kurt?"

"Then in the summer," he said, continuing as though he hadn't heard Mr Schue's question. "I was on my way home from the library. He c-cornered me and threw me into his car. It was dark, I shouldn't have walked home… b-but he threw me into his car and forced himself on me!"

He couldn't carry on. Kurt sank to the floor, openly sobbing. Blaine knelt down beside him and put an arm around his shoulders, holding him close. Everyone was silent. The students were watching the teachers, preparing for their reactions. No one could have predicted what happened. Sue crouched in front of Kurt and wrapped her arms around him, not caring that the position was awkward because of Blaine's arms. Mr Schue was stood still, his eyes wide. Then, he turned on his heel and walked away, in the obvious direction of Principal Figgins' office.

"Porcelain," Sue said softly. "Kurt, listen to me. We're going to help you through this, okay? He's never going to hurt you again. Do you trust me?" When he didn't reply she sighed. "Of course you don't, I'm a heinous bitch. Okay, do you trust your friends?" He nodded and she smiled. "Okay, good. I know they'll tell you the same. Dave Karofsky can never hurt you again, I promise. Go home okay? I'm sure Will won't mind you if you miss glee rehearsals."

"I d-don't want to go home." Kurt's voice was small and broken.

"You can't stay here all night. I know it's hard. Blaine will stay with you, won't you?"

Blaine nodded. He didn't ask how she knew his name. He helped Kurt to his feet, his heart breaking when he saw him trembling. Despite this, Kurt held on to Blaine tightly, knowing he could barely stand without his help.

"Santana, I'll phone an ambulance for you now."

"There's no need Coach," Sam said, stepping forwards, "I'll drive her to the hospital. Come on Santana."

"I'm coming too!" Brittany said her face glazed with tears. Sue just watched them go, wondering when the hell she came to care so much about this group of irritating teens. The hallway was silent except for the sounds coming from Kurt, who was still crying softly, and Blaine murmuring kind, soothing words to him. Mr Schue came back, looking furious.

"Karofsky's gone. He's fled," he snarled. Everyone was taken aback. They had never heard Mr Schue speak with so much venom in his voice. He turned to Kurt, an apologetic expression on his face. "I'm so sorry Kurt. Look, why don't you and Blaine go home? You don't have to compete tomorrow either, we'll work something out. You both need to relax."

"No, I want to compete tomorrow," Kurt protested. "I-I can do it. I promise."

He refused. "I promise that if we get through, you will definitely compete at Nationals. But neither of you can deal with the stress of this right now. Blaine, you need to get to hospital for your head, it looks like you hit it pretty hard." Blaine shook his head, stopping when the action hurt. "At least go and see the school nurse?" He sighed and agreed.

Mr Schue decided against carrying on the glee rehearsal, ignoring Rachel's protests. He told them to be in the school parking lot at nine sharp the following morning, so they could spend the day preparing. Once everyone had gone, he and Sue led Blaine to the nurse's office, followed by Kurt, who had refused to leave him.

Blaine had to sit through a physical examination, despite insisting that he was fine. Eventually, the nurse decided that Blaine wasn't concussed and just needed to rest. Sue left them once his assessment was over, but Mr Schue walked them to Kurt's car.

"Kurt, you know that we have to take this further, don't you?" He said softly. Kurt could only nod at him. "You'll have to tell your dad."

"What?" He said, eyes widening.

"You have to. We have to go to the police about this; what Karofsky did to you was a serious crime. He can't get away with it." Kurt just sighed and nodded again. "Blaine," Mr Schue continued, turning to him. "I was going to tell you this after the rehearsal, but… well; I guess I may as well tell you now. A policewoman called Rose Watson phoned the reception. She didn't know Kurt's home number, so she decided to phone the school."

"Rose Watson," he repeated quietly. "Oh, she's the one I spoke to about… my dad. What did she want?" He asked, his stomach clenching slightly.

"She said that your mother is… officially… released. You can start planning her funeral whenever you're ready. She also said the date for your father's trial has been set, but she wants you to phone her. Do you have her number?"

He nodded, feeling numb. "She gave it to me when I met her."

Mr Schue nodded. "Well… she wants you to phone her. Boys, take care, okay? Have a relaxing weekend. You both need it. Kurt, I'm sure someone will be in contact with you. I advise you to tell your dad tonight, before he hears it from someone else. I'll see you boys on Monday, I hope."

Kurt and Blaine said goodbye and watched him walk away, both feeling miserable. Neither of them spoke until they were outside Kurt's house, still sat in the car.

"Blaine, I'm sorry…"

"What?" He repeated, confused. "What do you have to be sorry for?"

"If I'd kept my mouth shut, he wouldn't have hurt you."

"Shut up Kurt, I'm the one who provoked him – I'd do it again in a heartbeat, okay?"

"No. I can't stand to see you get hurt. I care about you too much."

"And I care about you too Kurt."

"You… you don't hate me b-because of what he did? What happened between us? I feel so dirty and disgusting all the time. That's why I'm the way I am. It's why I've had so many one-night stands, done so many stupid things in my life. It's why I'm too afraid to get close to anyone, why I'm too afraid to have friends."

Kurt was crying at this point. Blaine reached across and took his hand in his.

"I could never hate you Kurt Hummel. What that bastard did to you wasn't your fault. That will never be your fault. You have friends. Look at today, Santana and Puck were ready to kick ass for you. So was I actually. We all care about you, even if the others are slightly afraid of you. They only see the mask you put up for them. Sure, Finn's seen glimpses of the real you at home, but you don't let any of them see much else except for me. I love that you let me see the real you, and not just this façade you've created for yourself. I know you're scared Kurt, but I love you. I think I have since the moment I met you, when I literally walked right into you. I know you're afraid, but you need to try and understand that you have people that care about you; people that are willing help you, not just me. The entire glee club care about you – even the Warblers do. Jeff and Nick practically worship you because you've helped me so much."

Kurt was silent. He was staring at Blaine, his mouth slightly open and his eyes wide. At first, Blaine thought he was scared. But then he saw Kurt's eyes – they were light, full of hope. Then, he whispered three words, as though they were sacred to him.

"You love me?"

Blaine gasped, realising what he'd said. He'd finally told Kurt how he felt, and he didn't even mean to.

"Shit, I'm sorry. Don't be freaked out. I know we've only been together for a few weeks…" He rubbed the back of his neck, the way he always did when he was nervous. "But yeah. I may as well say it. I do love you Kurt. You make me feel like there's so much worth living for. I was close to ending everything before I met you – you showed me that I shouldn't k-kill myself, that I should just suck it up and fight my way through life. You move me. You've changed everything for me and yes, I love you."

Blaine stopped and held his breath. He was pretty sure Kurt had gone into shock. Shit, he had said before that he didn't really date or anything. What the hell was he thinking? Now Kurt was going to hate him and his life would be awkward as hell. He opened his mouth, ready to apologise. But nothing could have prepared him for what happened next.

Kurt leaned across the seat and kissed him passionately. There were still tears on his face and they brushed against Blaine's skin, but he didn't mind. He responded to the kiss cautiously, unsure of what was happening. When they eventually broke apart, Kurt grinned widely.

"I love you too."

Blaine was pretty sure his heart stopped. His mouth was hanging open. He could still taste Kurt, the familiar taste of him on his lips.

"You do?" He whispered, hardly daring to believe it.

"I do," Kurt replied, his hand still entwined with Blaine's. "Come on, now we have to go face the music."

Blaine let out a groan. They got out of the car, immediately joining hands again.

"You ready?"

"No, but this has to be done. Blaine?"

"Mm?"

"I love you."

"I love you too."

 


Comments

You must be logged in to add a comment. Log in here.

Here you are again...wow..what an awesome chapter!!! Say out loud & repeat to yourself...I wrote an awesome chapter!!! The boys have gone through hell but it has been their gateway to love!!! Can't wait for another chapter!!!

Oh my god, thank you so much! I'm glad you're enjoying this!