Too Afraid To Love
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Too Afraid To Love: Adapting


E - Words: 3,573 - Last Updated: Jul 01, 2013
Story: Closed - Chapters: 25/? - Created: Oct 14, 2012 - Updated: Jul 01, 2013
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Author's Notes: Little warning, a lot of swearing and homophobia in this chapter.Thank you to everyone that has viewed, reviewed, followed and favourited this story! Thank you to all the lovely people that have messaged me as well. I promise I read every review and message I get so yeah, thanks. I hope you enjoy this chapter!Credit to the Pythagoras/Eyebrows joke goes to my brother. He randomly said it the other day and I had to include it.Another note, during the texting scene: Kurt, Blaine

The next few weeks were difficult, and that was to say the least. Carole had gotten used to Blaine being around the house pretty quickly; Burt was still getting used to it, but mainly because he constantly referred to him as "Mr Hummel" or "Sir". Finn, on the other hand, seemed to constantly forget that Blaine was living with the Hudsons/Hummels. Nearly every morning, he would give a yelp of surprise when he saw him at the table, or stood beside Carole, helping her cook breakfast. Kurt was revelling in the fact Blaine was there. Sure, it was strange, living with his boyfriend, but he was still there. Kurt knew that he'd never get tired of seeing Blaine in the mornings, yawning and barely awake. It was adorable. They had managed to keep their relationship a secret so far. It wasn't until three weeks after Blaine had 'officially' moved in, Burt and Carole found out.

Blaine hated sleeping alone. Three weeks together, and he already hated sleeping without Kurt by his side. His bedroom, the spare room, was fairly small, but large enough to fit a double bed. He would have been happier with a single, but Carole had insisted – everyone else in the house had a double bed, so it would only be fair. Truthfully, Blaine hated his bed. It made him feel even more alone than he already did – double beds were meant to be shared, not slept in alone. Every night, when everyone had gone to sleep, either Kurt would sneak upstairs or Blaine would creep downstairs. Neither could bare the thought of being on their own – they helped each other sleep and calmed each other down when they were having nightmares.

Blaine's bedroom door opened with a soft creek. Kurt tip-toed through the doorway, a small, sleepy smile on his face – Blaine sat up immediately.

"Did I wake you?" He asked quietly. When Blaine shook his head, he visibly relaxed. "I had a nightmare," he said, slipping into the bed beside him. Blaine wrapped his arms around his boyfriend, staying silent. He knew he needed to give Kurt the opportunity to speak. "It was a flashback really, feeling Karofsky's hands all over me." He shuddered and Blaine tightened his grip on him. "I can't believe I lost my virginity to that monster."

"No," Blaine said firmly. "You didn't lose your virginity to him, that bastard stole it from you."

Kurt smirked. "Blaine Anderson, swearing is a sin… says the Bible."

"So is being gay, but that doesn't stop me," he shot back, smirking. He planted a soft, gentle kiss on Kurt's lips. "Feeling any better?"

"A little, but it's because I'm with you," he admitted. "I really am going soft, aren't I?"

Blaine laughed quietly. "Of course not; you've always been soft. You just haven't really shown it. Not like me."

"No, not like you – you're like a bowl of jelly."

"Dork."

"I thought you were the dork in this relationship? You're the one that can do all that maths shit."

Blaine rolled his eyes, glancing at the homework he'd left on his desk. "Pythagoras' Theorem is not shit, Kurt. I like math."

"I know you do, which emphasizes the fact you're a dork. Pythagoras is the one with the triangles, right?" He nodded and Kurt laughed. "You could probably do it with your eyebrows then."

"That's not fair! You pick on me all the time. Earlier you were on about me being a Hobbit-"

"Which you are," he said.

"Well it's not my fault I'm short, okay? Not everyone can be freakishly tall like you," Blaine continued as though he hadn't heard Kurt's interruption.

"I am not freakishly tall, thank you very much! I'm average height."

Blaine snorted, which lead to Kurt poking him in the ribs. They weren't sure how, but Kurt ended up straddling him while their lips met in a passionate kiss. Kurt was thankful that they were in the dark because he was blushing. He was actually blushing! One of his hands was in Blaine's hair, running his fingers through the curls, and the other was resting on his chest. Blaine was shirtless in the bed, and Kurt could feel how toned he was. Seriously, when the hell did Blaine work out? Kurt tore his lips from Blaine's, moving to that spot on his neck.

"Kurt," he whimpered. Kurt gave him a wink before returning to teasing his neck. "Kurt," He said again, his moan louder this time. Before he even realised what he was doing, Blaine flipped them over, so that his body was hovering above Kurt's. Blaine moved his hands over Kurt's bare chest, tracing the perfect tones of his muscles.

"See something you like, Anderson?"

The voice made him jump slightly, but he grinned. "Maybe I do, maybe I don't. What are you going to do about it, Hummel? I'm stronger than you think."

Kurt's eyes seemed to darken. Suddenly, Blaine realised why. How could he have not felt that against his thigh, rock hard and just… there? Kurt seized his opportunity, using Blaine's hesitation to his advantage. He flipped them over again, using his body to pin Blaine down.

"Oh dear, now look who's in charge. I think you owe me an apology Blaine."

"I think it's the other way around – you insulted my eyebrows."

"Honey, they do look like they've been plucked. I just don't think you want to admit it."

"Well, I'm sorry for having freakishly misshapen eyebrows. But hey, at least they amuse you, right?"

By this time, they were both in fits of hysterical laughter. Once it had subsided, Kurt leaned down and kissed Blaine, softer than before. Blaine responded just as tenderly, smiling into their kiss.

Someone cleared their throat. With a small yelp, Kurt leapt off Blaine, landing with a soft thud on the bed beside him. Burt Hummel was stood in the doorway, looking sleepy but confused.

"Boys, you want to explain what's going on?"

For the first time, Kurt was at a loss for words. He looked helplessly at Blaine, who just stared back at him. Burt sighed – he understood what was going on perfectly fine. He crossed the room and sat down at the edge of the bed, watching them both.

"I don't have a problem with you being together you know."

"You don't?" Kurt repeated, obviously surprised.

Burt shook his head with a sigh. "Of course not buddy. You know I just want you to be happy. But I do have a problem with you not telling me."

"I'm sorry sir," Blaine said quickly. The last thing he wanted was Kurt getting in trouble. "We should have t-told you, but we weren't sure how. We d-didn't even know how you would react. We thought we should keep it quiet, at least until we knew for sure. I'm sorry Mr Hummel."

He sighed again. "Listen kiddo, enough of this 'sir' and 'Mr Hummel' crap, okay? I told you before, I have no problem with you calling me Burt… in fact I'd prefer it. But um, I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't sneak into each other's bedrooms. I'm guessing this isn't the first time?" Their silence was like a confession. "Okay, I see. Come on Kurt; get your ass back downstairs."

With a reluctant smile, Kurt said goodnight to Blaine and followed his father from the bedroom.

"I'm sorry Dad," he finally said.

"What for?"

"We should have told you instead of going behind your back."

"Well… yeah, you really should have buddy. But I'm not mad. I'm actually happy for you – Finn said you never really spoke to anyone before you met Blaine."

He just shrugged. "I never really did anything before Blaine."

"Hm," Burt said, leaning against the wall. "Well at any rate, I'm glad you're happy."

"You like him, don't you?" Kurt asked, leaning against the wall opposite his father. "You even have a little… what's it called… endearment for him."

"Kurt, what are you talking about?"

"Well, you call me 'buddy' all the time, right? You've always called Finn 'sport', even before you were with Carole, and now you've started calling Blaine 'kiddo'. I think it's sweet."

Burt rolled his eyes. "You really are perceptive, aren't you?" Kurt nodded, grinning. "You get that from your mom. Now get your ass downstairs, I have work tomorrow and you have school. I'm not letting you stay home just because you're tired."

Kurt sighed and made his way back to his bedroom. His bed felt cold and empty without Blaine. Without really thinking about it, he grabbed his phone.

(01:47)

Is it wrong that I miss you already?

(01:48)

No, I miss you too.

(01:49)

Come downstairs? I'll even send you a picture of my puppy-eyes to convince you.

(01:49)

Shut up, I need sleep. We have school tomorrow.

(01:50)

I know that, but it doesn't mean you can't come down.

(01:50)

Do you really think your dad won't check on us as soon as he gets up? Besides, Rachel's gonna be so pissed if we're tired tomorrow.

(01:51)

Oh yeah, good point… About Dad, not Rachel – I couldn't give a shit what she thinks. That's not a bad thing to say, right?

(01:52)

No, I feel the same. I wish she'd shut up about regionals.

(01:53)

Why, you nervous?

(01:53)

Yep, mainly because of the Warblers… they're still my friends. Plus Sebastian will be there.

(01:53)

Isn't that the one that bullied you?

(01:53)

Yeah. And the one I so stupidly had a crush on.

(01:54)

Yeah, that is pretty stupid Blaine. Don't worry, tell me and I'll kick his ass.

(01:54)

You know, despite this "badass" shit you pull, you're still a dork.

(01:55)

Oh please, I could kick your ass.

(01:56)

Did your toy elephant tell you that?

(01:56)

Leave Ellie out of this before I come up those stairs and shove her down your throat.

(01:57)

Oh help, there's a stuffed elephant attacking me.

(01:58)

You're such a dork Blaine. Stop harassing me.

(01:58)

Me harass you? You're the one who text me, thanks. I should file a police report.

(01:59)

I won't leave you any pancakes at breakfast tomorrow if you don't shut up.

(01:59)

Kurt, I'm the one who makes the pancakes.

(02:00)

Oh yeah, oops.

(02:00)

Oh look, it's now 2AM. I'm being threatened with a stuffed elephant. I'm an emotional wreck. This guy is harassing me.

(02:01)

Yes I am Anderson, but you love it.

(02:01)

Imagine me sighing. Because I seriously just did.

(02:02)

See, you won't even admit it!

(02:03)

Oh my god Kurt, you just can't shut up, can you?

(02:03)

Once again, I'm just gonna say "you love it".

(02:04)

I'm going bed, if I'm tired and cranky in the morning, we can just blame you.

(02:10)

Blaine?

(02:11)

What nooooow? I was just dozing off

(02:12)

Shit, sorry. Never mind, I'll tell you later. Night x

(02:12)

Night Kurt x

Kurt put his phone on his bedside table, cursing himself. He had very nearly said it, but chickened out at the last minute. Why the hell was he so afraid? It was three words god damn it, but he didn't even have the balls to say them. He had sung it to Blaine a few weeks ago, so what was the difference? Then again, singing 'Come What May' on the bathroom floor wasn't the most obvious sign you were in love with someone. With a soft sigh, he rolled over to sleep, still irritated at how empty his bed was.

 

 

Kurt woke late the next morning. Carole and Burt had already left for work. Both Blaine and Finn were in the kitchen – Finn was at the table and Blaine was at the stove, cooking.

"Morning," Kurt said cheerfully, running his hands through his damp hair. "Sleep well?"

Blaine turned and rolled his eyes at him. "Shut up Kurt, you were texting me until two in the morning."

"You text me back."

"Hey, why didn't you text me?" Finn complained.

"Please," Kurt said, sitting beside him. "You were snoring so loudly, you wouldn't have heard your phone go off, even if it was right beside your ear."

"Good point little bro," he said laughing.

"Finn, how many times do we have to go over this? I'm older than you. That makes you my little brother."

"But I'm taller!"

Kurt didn't say anything, catching Blaine's eye and grinning. Blaine carried on cooking, humming as he did so. He set two plates in front of Finn and Kurt, and then sat down opposite them, a small plate of pancakes in front of him. Finn wolfed down his meal, then bolted from the table, saying he had to meet Rachel before they went to school.

Both Kurt and Blaine ate slowly – they had no reason to hurry. When they were finished, Kurt insisted that he help clean up. They stood side-by-side, Blaine washing the dishes while Kurt dried them. They were probably pressed a little closer than necessary, but neither of them seemed to mind.

"We're gonna be late in a minute," Kurt said, glancing at the clock. Blaine just nodded, putting the last of the plates away. He picked up his books from the counter and put them into his bag. Kurt did the same and they walked out of the house hand in hand. Once Kurt had locked the front door, they climbed into his car. They journey to McKinley passed far too quickly for their liking – they had no lessons at all together, so they wouldn't see each other until lunch.

"I guess I'll see you in a few hours," Kurt sighed as they got out of the car. Blaine sighed and leaned against the door.

"This sucks. Can't you fail this year for me?"

Kurt rolled his eyes. "Shut up Blaine, I want to get out of this shit-hole as soon as I can."

"I know, I know. It's just… I'll miss you after graduation."

Kurt's heart skipped a beat. He moved in to kiss Blaine. They had kept their relationship quiet for a long time, the only people in McKinley knowing being the glee club, but Kurt no longer cared. He was relieved when he Blaine responded to the kiss. He could feel his smile pressed against his lips. When they broke apart, it was hard to ignore the stares they were getting. The parking lot was silent, until…

"You're fucking fags!"

Blaine's heart sank as he saw Karofsky approach them. His eyes were fixed on him. He shoved past Kurt and threw Blaine against the car.

"You mother fucking queer."

Kurt pulled Karofsky away. He didn't even bat an eyelid. "Are you okay?" He said to Blaine quietly, relaxing when he nodded. "Get the fuck away from us Karofsky."

"Why should I Hummel?" He snapped, fully aware that everyone around them was listening.

"If you don't, I'll kick the living crap out of you." Kurt's voice was low and dangerous. His eyes were dark, but not in the way Blaine had noticed the night before. They were filled with hate.

"Yeah, of course you will. You're both fucking fairies. No one wants to see that shit in public."

"Is that why you raped Kurt in your car instead of out in the open?"

Both Kurt's and Karofsky's jaws dropped simultaneously. Kurt turned to stare at Blaine, completely dumbstruck. But Blaine wasn't done.

"I know everything Karofsky, you're despicable! Look at me and Kurt – we're fucking happy. We're out and we're proud. But you," he laughed bitterly, taking a step closer to him. "You're still hidden in the closet, crying because no one wants to be with you. Have you noticed that? Not even girls want you. It's because you're vile and you're disgusting – if they think that before they know what you did to Kurt, I'd love to hear what they'd say about you if they found it out."

"I swear to god you fucking princess; if you tell anyone I'll-"

"What hit me? Do the same to me? We both know you wouldn't. You ran away when Kurt kicked the shit out of you, not because it hurt, but because you were scared he'd tell someone. Just fuck off and leave us alone, yeah?"

"I'm warning you, fag-" Karofsky snarled, moving so he was nose-to-nose with Blaine.

"Go on then, hit me!" He yelled. "Fucking hit me! I've been used as a punching bag before, by my own father. I don't even care anymore. You can hit me all you want, it won't make me forget and it'll never turn me straight. Believe me, my dad tried. You can't punch the 'gay' out of me no more than I can punch the 'asshole' out of you, and that's putting it lightly. So go on, fuck off."

Karofsky was shaking but after a few moments, he turned from Blaine and walked away furiously. Kurt released the breath he had obviously been holding in and pulled Blaine into his arms. Blaine gave a shaky laugh and hugged him back.

"I'm sorry Kurt, I shouldn't have done that."

"Don't ruin this!" He snapped, taking Blaine by surprise. "I want to keep that moment in my head forever."

"Um… Can I ask why?"

"It was hot, okay?" When Blaine rolled his eyes, Kurt continued. "I'm serious. You're normally so dapper, and innocent, and all that… Then that happens."

"Yeah, well I can't stand him, not after what he did."

"Blaine, that's all in the past."

"It doesn't change anything. He hurt you. I'll never let anyone hurt you again."

"Jeez, and I thought would be the one protecting you in this relationship. Apparently you can look after yourself. I wish you'd done that with your dad though."

There was a few seconds of silence, before Blaine finally whispered. "Me too."

"Still, that was so fucking hot. I'm going to have to make you angry more often."

Blaine rolled his eyes. "See you at lunch."

"See you at lunch," Kurt replied, planting another kiss on his lips before walking away.

 

When Kurt and Blaine walked into the cafeteria at twelve-thirty, everyone inside fell silent. Before they knew it Jacob Israel, the boy that ran McKinley's gossip blog, was in front of them, holding a recorder under their noses.

"So the infamous Kurt Hummel is dating McKinley's new resident, Blaine Anderson. Do you have anything to say on that?" When they remained silent, he turned to Blaine. "Care to comment on what happened in the parking lot this morning between you and Dave Karofsky?"

"Why don't you ask him?" Blaine said in a bored voice.

"I did, he threatened me."

"Oh yeah, what did he say?" Kurt asked in a falsely-sweet voice.

"That if I didn't go, he'd hit me. So Blaine, is it true your bowties are a hoax, and you're just as, and I quote, 'badass as Kurt Hummel'? What do you have to say on that?"

Blaine sighed. "What I have to say, Israel. is that if you don't move your recorder from my face, I'll shove it so far up your ass, you'll have to cough it back up."

Jacob quickly tucked the recorded in his pocket and walked away, his head low. Kurt let out a loud laugh and led Blaine over to where the glee club were sat. They were surprised at how quiet they all were.

"Is something wrong?" Kurt asked, already knowing the answer.

"Guys, what the hell happened this morning? Everyone's talking about it."

"God, they make it sound as though I ripped his head off or something," Blaine muttered.

Kurt grinned. "I thought you were going to for a second."

He smiled back and they explained to the others how Blaine had stood up to Karofsky.

"Wait, Karofsky knows that you know?" They nodded and Artie fist bumped Blaine. "Respect man, none of us would have dreamed of saying anything to him. He's terrifying."

"How come you did it then? I mean, I get that he was being an asshole, but why did that come up?"

Blaine looked at Quinn for a full minute before answering her. "Every time I look at him, I think of what he did. But I remember how Kurt looked when he was telling us all. You… you guys don't understand how much something like that can affect someone."

"What do you mean?"

He hesitated, looking Kurt, who sighed and spoke for him.

"What Blaine's saying is that I get nightmares."

"Nightmares?"
"Yeah, flashbacks to what happened. Blaine gets them too, about his dad. Mine stopped for a while, but I guess because we did that disclosure thing, old memories came back. I'm fine guys," he added when they all looked at him sympathetically. "I'm not changing or anything."

"I still think you're a badass dude," Puck said. When Kurt raised an eyebrow, he carried on. Whatever it was had obviously been on his mind for a while. "Well, honestly we were scared of you. I think we still are a bit, but Blaine's managed to bring out a different side to you. You're actually a nice guy, but you're still a badass. You don't take shit and I respect that."

"Uh… thanks Puck."

"No problem bro. But remember, we got your back, okay? We stick together."

Kurt nodded. Their lunchtime passed without any further mentions of what happened, which they were both incredibly grateful for. When the bell rang to signal the end of lunch, they both sighed.

"So, I'll see you in glee…" Kurt whispered.

"See you then," Blaine replied, wrapping his arms around him. They kissed gently, both smiling. Puck wolf-whistled and they pulled away, both rolling their eyes.

"Puck, you're so immature," Santana said.

"This coming from the one who nearly peed when she found out they sang a love song to each other." He snapped back.

"Yeah well that was adorable. They were just kissing. Come on, Mr. Chalk will kill us if we're late again."

"Uh, I'd better go too," Kurt said to Blaine. "I have Mr. Chalk as well. If I'm late he'll probably put me in detention… and then Mr Schue would kill me for missing glee."

"He'd have to dig you up first, Rachel would murder you."

Kurt laughed, agreeing. He gave Blaine one final kiss before disappearing down the hall. Blaine walked to his History classroom, a small smile on his face. His smile vanished when he walked into his class, knowing this lesson would drag. His eyes remained fixed on the clock through the whole lesson, willing time to go faster. He just wanted to be in glee and escape to the world of music. Waiting was almost painful.

As soon as the bell rang, he ran from the classroom, towards the choir room.


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OMG what a great chapter...Loved how Blaine shut Karofsky down!!! Thank you !!