It had been nearly eight years. Eight years Blaine spent trying to reach his soul mate. Trying to let him know he was still there. Still waiting. Here to accept him, to give him every last drop of love he had and then some, when ready. But every single one of his attempts hit a rock. A cold unwavering barricaded wall instead of acceptance and joy that used to come from before. Blaine, who of course kept the connection open, could only ever Feel him in moments of extreme. Pain, whether emotional or physical, was the worst. Most of the time physical pain radiated from his shoulders as though pushed hard into something solid an unwavering. Sometimes, too, his arms, stomach, occasionally even eyes joined his shoulders throbbing in a symphony of muted pain. There was no doubt in Blaine’s mind his soul mate suffered through bullying on a frequent basis. And as much as Blaine desperately wanted to help, he had to sit there knowing his soul mate hurt. A spectator on the sidelines without even a lifeboat to offer. Still, Blaine tried every single time to Send comfort, but it never got through.

Happier moments were rare, and always managed to make Blaine smile. At least he knew where ever he was, at that moment in time, his soul mate smiled.

The worst part of being Blocked was the ever present loneliness. When they were little, the two of them used to Connect with each other constantly throughout the day. Happiness, irritation, sadness, anger, every little emotion was his to experience too. He missed enjoying their connection, cherishing each other, sending feelings of joy at being soul mates. Nights now empty, no longer filled with dream dates. If he were lucky, he’d dream of comforting a faceless soul mate in the darkness. Pulling an unidentifiable body close to him and taking away the pain. Most nights, though, only emptiness greeted him. Those were at least better than the nightmares. Nightmares of his soul mate in the hospital, nightmares reaching out to his soul mate in pain unable to do anything but watch, nightmares he woke up from screaming.

Blaine never forgot the hurricane of terror he felt emanating from him that day. Whatever occurred deeply damaged the love of his life. If only Blaine had done something, something more than what he did in that moment. If only he could have taken away the pain, been a little bit faster. Something. Maybe his soul mate wouldn’t feel the need to continuously Block Blaine. Soul mates were supposed to know each other inside and out. Know what to do in moments of trouble, and Blaine failed.
He was less than what he needed.

But, as his parents constantly reminded him, Blaine was only seven at the time. How could a mere seven year old know what to do when it feels like your whole soul mate’s life is being torn apart at the seams? Even still, they were soul mates, and Blaine obviously wasn’t doing enough to help. But what could he do now when his soul mate remained Blocked from him? These questions ran around his head plaguing him day after day. Trying to find a solution when no real one existed.

His parents offered little help. ‘Always be there,’ they had said. But Blaine was always there, he couldn’t not be there. Desperate to do something a ritual developed. Every night before going to bed, Blaine devoted thirty minutes trying to Connect to him. Trying to send him love, support, happiness. All the positive emotions Blaine could think of, but mostly how much he still loved him. Always ending with the same bitter feeling, loneliness in face of a rock.

He grabbed his lunch at Dalton to join his friends looking down and rubbing at the little X on his ring finger wondering about his soul mate and what he might be doing at that moment. Blaine hadn’t Felt anything from him in a month. This offered little comfort, but at least Blaine knew his soul mate wasn’t in too much pain, and hopefully the bullying ended.

“Still no luck with your soul mate?” asked Jeff when he sat down noticing the gesture.

Blaine gloomily shook his head. After pesters from his friends about why he never talked about his soul mate, he finally confided in them. “I just want to be there for him you know? And I can’t.”

Nick joined them with a little peck to Jeff’s cheek. “He’ll come around, Blaine. No one can stay away from their soul mate forever.” The two shared a look and Blaine knew they were Communicating and frustration and loneliness welled up inside him all over again.

Why couldn't he have that.

--

After his parents died, Kurt went to live with his Aunt and Uncle. They were kind to Kurt, fed and clothed him. But Kurt was a puzzle piece forced to fit into a picture he didn’t belong. He never quite molded into their family, and they never quite understood him.

His aunt and uncle had no idea of the bullying he endured at school or any other aspect of his life. The torment began after a mistake in fifth grade of blurting out to his friends that he kept his soul mate Blocked. Quickly, he gained a reputation of being ‘heartless’. Continuing to ignore your soul mate was considered one of the worst things a person could do. And Kurt’s peers made sure he knew it.

Every day they hounded him with harassment. Locker checks, dumpster tosses, and constant teasing became his life.
To even be seen with Kurt was to be considered like him. He ate meals alone, he practiced music on his own, he learned to be alone. For he was, truly and completely, alone. It was better this way anyway, he constantly told himself. People meant pain.

Instead, he lived his days in the future, dreaming about the day he became a famous Broadway singer.

It was not as though Kurt wanted to keep his soul mate away. But fear continued the Block. Kurt knew he would not be able to handle any feelings of disappoint. And every time he thought about lowering it, fear griped him, and he just couldn't do it.

In his room, Kurt sang with his T.V. when a knock came at his door.

“Come in!” he said and his uncle opened the door.

“Good evening, Kurt. I came here to tell you that I have received a promotion at work. We will be moving to Westerville. I looked into possible schools for you to attend, and I really like the look of this one called Dalton Academy. It is an all-boys school, very prestigious, and will help you get into a good college. They even have a good singing group called the Warblers you could join. Exactly something I can see your mom and dad wanting for you. Here is the pamphlet, let me know what you think.”

"I don't need to join any singing group to be famous," said Kurt arrogantly. But he took a look at the pamphlet anyway.

On the front stood a school that looked to be right out of the Victorian times. Flower beds surrounded the entrance and trees scattered around the landscape. He searched through the flyer where they boasted outstanding academics and extracurricular activities such as soccer and their singing group.

Kurt considered for a moment. A new school meant no one would know his past. No one would have to know what he did. This was his chance to get away from all the imbeciles at McKinley. He made a promise to himself right then and there, no one would ever know his secret. If they found out it would all be over for him, again.

“You don’t have to decide right away, Kurt, let me know by the end of the week.”

As soon as Kurt entered, something just felt right about it. Ease coursed through him. Despite the fancy landscape and expensive chandeliers dotting the hallways, the school gave off a sense of home. Perhaps the ease came from the fact that between the sea of uniformed students and the giant hallways, blending in and becoming invisible would be incredibly easy.

“Good day, class. We have a new student that is joining Dalton. This is Kurt Hummel. Please be courteous and offer him help when you can.” Kurt then shuffled off to his assigned seat and began taking notes. Becoming a blade of grass immersed in a field indiscernible from the next.

Blaine, for his part, felt weird all week. Jittery and anxious. He couldn’t focus on anything. Teachers called him in class and, for the first time, he asked them to repeat their question. Homework assignments turned in incomplete because he forgot about them. His excuses were far and few between eventually settling on ‘Sorry, I’m not feeling well’ each and every time.

While playing soccer he fell over the ball. In debate club he lost his train of thought mid-sentence. During his extracurricular art class his flower looked more like a face than an actual flower. His band teacher was disappointed when Blaine couldn't play a scale on his clarinet. The last straw happened while singing at Warbler practice. He sang like he was tone deaf and stumbled through the dance number as though his legs were made of jelly. Music halted when Blaine ran into Wes giving him a bloody nose. After apologizing profusely to Wes, David told him to take the day off. That maybe rest would help. But Blaine couldn’t sleep. Tossing and turning, no position felt comfortable. He didn’t know what was wrong, he had never been in such disarray. Bags developed under his eyes and the days began dragging.

On Friday, Blaine sat next to Jeff at the lunch table, folded his arms, and rested his head on them. Maybe if he couldn’t eat, he could get a wink of sleep.

“You okay, Blaine?”

“Yes? No. I don’t know,” he trailed off frustrated.

“Here, eat something,” Jeff said thrusting his apple into Blaine’s hand.

“I’m not hungry,” Blaine mumbled pushing it away. He grew more fidgety. His legs bounced up and down on their own accord and he shifted from side to side.

“How much have you eaten in the past week?” he asked.

“What?” said Blaine not quite hearing the question.

Jeff's eyebrows scrunched together. “Blaine, I’m worried about you. This whole week you’ve been acting really weird.”

“Urgh, I…” Blaine’s stomach dropped, his body frozen still a complete contrast to how he was moments before. Only his eyes moved tracking the teenager strolling through the lunch room. “Oh my God,” Blaine whispered in reverence.

“What?” asked Jeff trying to look at whatever it was Blaine saw.

“Perfect”, he muttered as his heart fluttered and skipped. Quickly and desperately, Blaine started sending Feelings, but the boy continued to walk away. Notice me he silently pleaded to the retreating figure. The boy glanced right over Blaine searching for a seat. Not even a flicker of recognition passed over his features, even after making brief eye contact. Unlike Kurt, though, when they made eye contact Blaine’s whole body reacted instantly as warmth spread from his ring finger filling his heart with contentment. He Sent more feelings, but this time he realized there was no change. A barrier ever present and ever impenetrable stopped the Feelings from reaching the boy who now sat down in the corner of the cafeteria.

And then the wave of reality crashed around him. The cold dread washed over him seeping into his very core because Blaine knew what happened. Blaine, who kept their connection open all this time, would know Kurt. Would be able to recognize him for who he was. Kurt, who made his body simply hum with happiness when he looked Blaine’s way. Kurt, who’s eyes felt like home. Kurt, who he remembered so vividly as a child. How could Blaine not know right away?

On the other hand, Kurt Blocked and kept out Blaine. He had no idea who he was. Unable to feel anything with a Blocked connection, Blaine was just another person to Kurt.

His soul mate was here, here at Dalton and had no idea who Blaine was.

“Wait...,” continued Jeff, “is that…? Blaine, is that your soul mate?”

He looked to Jeff, a film of tears coating his eyes, and silently nodded too afraid to speak.

But, Kurt was here. Maybe, just maybe, a road finally became clear leading a way back into Kurt’s heart where Blaine so desperately belonged.