A week went by; Blaine tried to close the door and seal the exposed parts in his shell as best he could. But once a door is open it cannot be closed again, and once someone sees through the cracks they cannot unsee them. Instead, he waited in the back corner of his cage, a nervous cornered rabbit, for the worst to happen. Waiting to see when these two people would tear him to shreds. They had the power. As much as Blaine did not want to admit it, they had a piece of him now. Even if it was a just tiny piece, it was more than he had given to anyone in a very long time. If they wanted to inflict damage, they could, and the only thing Blaine would be able to do was sit and watch. So he distanced himself. He didn’t want to open up further, in case they were greedy and only desired more of him to warp and twist as so many others had.

But they didn’t. Each day after, they smiled at him and greeted him. Treated him like he was worthwhile, not worthless. Hesitantly, Blaine peeked through the cracks and out of the door into the world. A haze was lifted over him. Kurt and Burt weren’t the same cold people he had known from his abused past. Hope fluttered inside him. But could he allow the bird to take flight? To soar free? What if the bird, instead of taking wing, fell to the ground? Crashed and burned, withering even more helpless than before. Because he didn’t know if he could heal himself again. Sometimes it was safer to be caged.

It was too much all at once. Too many people inflicted damage and each unique in their own ways. So much so they left Blaine with no part of him unscathed. The scars running deep. And while the Hummels wiggled in, Blaine was too guarded to allow them access all the way through.
But maybe he could learn to trust. He yearned for it. Yearned for the ray of sunlight to graze his face enveloping him with warmth. Fear held him back. The door was open, but it was up to Blaine to make those steps. Maybe he didn’t have to leave the safety of his cage all the way. That morning, Blaine decided to stick a toe outside. To feel the world. It was a scary notion, and Blaine was terrified. Lying stiff in his bed, he argued with himself to get up and go eat. Just swing his leg around the bed. Go on!

When you know you are going to try your hardest to let yourself go just a little, the first step is always the most difficult. Dread pressed all around him, keeping him hostage and frozen in his bed. But, it was just a toe, and Blaine could bring it back in if the world got too overwhelming. Reminding himself of the Hummel’s smiles and Burt’s hug, the dread became less powerful. The piano played in the background and Blaine was able to sit up.
He walked downstairs for breakfast. “Good morning, Blaine!” Kurt greeted him. Blaine glanced up at him, meeting his eyes for the first time and allowed himself to look into them. They were startling blue, but the warmth and genuine caring behind them struck Blaine even more. What if they really did care about him? Kurt seemed to genuinely want Blaine to be having a good morning. Was that true? Did Kurt care about such a simple thing? But why? There were too many questions and the answers were too painful. Today was about that toe, nothing more and he left the questions unanswered.

Shyly Blaine looked away and back to the task at hand, filling his bowl with… Lucky Charms? He looked on the front of the box. Little brown fish shapes and triangle things clattered against his bowl along with differently colored..? Confused and intrigued, Blaine picked up a rainbow one and ate it carefully. It tasted sugary and melted in his mouth. He ate another one. It was surprisingly very good.

Kurt’s dad was sitting down at the table watched Blaine curiously, “First time noticing you’ve been eating Lucky Charms for two months?” Burt chuckled slightly. “Those are marshmallows you’re eating.”

Kurt now knew Blaine must have been in a fog this entire time. Not noticing anything as he drifted through life. The iron bars not only keeping out hurt but also joy as well. If there is no joy there is no hurt. If you never know what you are missing, you can never miss anything. How long had Blaine been like that, never really never allowing himself to feel. Because at any moment, without notice, it could be ripped away. It is hard to unlearn what the world has taught you time and time again. A painful lesson which never wavered for Blaine, and Kurt was determined to show him differently.

Blaine looked over and shook his head, a negative, almost amazed. Why would cereal have marshmallows in it? He sat down at the table next to Kurt and picked out the brown stuff first and then hungrily ate the marshmallows last. Kurt, with sparkly eyes, chuckled at Blaine’s antics because this was the first sign of him showing any sort of personality. And quite frankly, Kurt found him adorable right now. Blaine glanced over at him blushing then quickly back down at the table though ashamed.

Recoiling back into himself, Blaine quickly pulled the toe back inside his cage. Withdrawing from the world. It was better to not experience it. The piano was the only thing that would not judge him. The only thing that could not hurt him. Last week was a fluke, a break in character. No one could ever care for him or love him. The world was pain. He waited for the harsh comment soon to follow the laugh, a comment which Blaine wouldn’t hear. Blaine played.

With kind words Kurt brought him back. “Blaine it’s okay. I’m only laughing because you reminded me that I used to do that as a kid. Save the best for last, you know?”

The corners of Blaine’s mouth lifted into a slight smile as though relieved he was allowed to do such a thing. Maybe, just maybe, he could learn to trust. He got up to put his bowl away making to grab Kurt’s as well. “Nuh uh!” said Kurt. Blaine glanced down at the floor suddenly shut away at the fast and reprimanding tone of Kurt’s voice. Seeing this, Kurt quickly softened his voice, “This is mine to do, remember? School days we make our own breakfast and put away our own dishes. Thanks for offering though. It was very kind of you.” Kurt left to put his dish away.

Blaine stopped in his tracks, immobilized, stunned by Kurt’s words. They knocked him back like an unexpected gale force wind. Kind? What? Disbelief coursed throughout his body and every muscle fought against the feeling of joy. Jolted by a simple phrase. Blaine wasn’t kind, was he? He shook his head, clearing it of thought and his body of feeling. Too much.

He watched as Kurt and Burt talked about Kurt’s plans for football practice, hanging on to every word. The love that the two shared for one another was completely obvious. If possible, Blaine would have soaked up the feeling though his skin and bask in its glow. The way they actually listened to what the other was saying. The way they paused to hear the other’s opinion. It was nothing that Blaine had ever experienced before. How was this possible? Both participating the conversation, neither dominating or talking over the other.

Not for the first time, Blaine wondered what kind of strange people he was living with. People that didn’t yell at Blaine. People that didn’t shout insults at one another to use their words for kindness instead of pain. People that cared instead of hated. Gave instead of took. Blaine tried to understand, but the more he tried the more it boggled him. Instead he listened on.

“Hey, Dad, I’m going to be late after school today.”

Blaine readied himself for Kurt to be hit or harsh words to be lashed out. For not telling his dad earlier, for perhaps ruining his schedule. Burt’s eye brows furrowed and Blaine braced himself. Squeezed the table underneath so no one could see his fear, prepared for the piano to escape. Here it comes…

“How come?” But Kurt wasn’t backing away and Burt wasn’t standing with intimidation looming over Kurt. In fact the atmosphere was calm. It had always been calm. The anxiety that Blaine felt before was all him. The brewing of the storm was something Blaine created within himself. It had never actually existed.

“Coach sent out an email last night telling us she wanted to go over a few more runs.”

“She’s crazy for taking you guys before and after school.”
He listened on, amazed by their conversation. Was this how it should be? No yelling, no fighting, just… talking? Listening to what the other had to say, and them reciprocating in kind. Was this normal, for a father and son to be engaged like this? All his life Blaine had been hurt for talking either with his voice or with his hands. But Burt and Kurt weren’t hurting each other. They weren’t twisting words around into something neither of them said.

“Well we have that ‘all important’ game on Friday.”

“The semifinals?” Burt asked and Kurt nodded. Burt hadn’t been able to go to any of his football games since Blaine arrived because they knew it would be too much for him. “Just call me when practice lets out, alright, kid? Blaine, do you want to stay after and watch?”

In fact, Blaine really didn’t want to stay and watch. It wasn’t that he didn’t like practice, sometimes it was nice to be certain he would be left alone for a long period of time undisturbed. But occasionally Coach’s whistle would jolt his piano, and if Blaine could sit at home without interruptions he would much rather do that. Could he give Burt a no though? Would that be acceptable? Blaine gulped down, still unsure. Burt stared calmly back waiting patiently for his answer. With palms sweating and heart racing, Blaine took a leap of faith and shook his head from side to side. Flinching almost automatically, bracing himself for an impact that never came.

Burt grinned, “Alright, I’ll pick you up after school then.” Blaine opened his eyes to see Burt casually walking away. Blaine’s opinion was taken by Burt and left intact and simple, perhaps most importantly, just as Blaine intended it to be. It wasn’t maimed or turned into something ugly.

“Oh, Blaine, I was thinking if you wanted some of my old clothes, you could have them. I don’t wear them anymore.” Blaine hesitated. Would Kurt twist his opinions around? Taking another chance he nodded. “Come on let’s pick through them.” Relief.

Kurt was disappointed that they couldn’t actually go out and buy Blaine clothes as they were tight on money since Blaine’s tirades. Therefore, unfortunately, Blaine would have to wait before going shopping. At the very least Blaine wouldn’t have to wear those ratty clothes anymore.
Kurt took out boxes upon boxes of his old clothes. “I’ll just get a few out right now that I think would fit you to save time. After school you can dig through the rest if you want.” Kurt picked out a shirt that would bring out the green in Blaine’s eyes and a pair of form fitting jeans which looked short enough to fit him. Luckily, Blaine was practically the same height as Kurt when he stopped wearing designer clothes. He was so lost in thought about what Blaine should wear that thirty minutes had already passed without him being aware.

“Are you two almost ready? If we don’t leave soon, you’ll be late for practice,” Burt called.

Kurt flushed and quickly handed the clothes over to Blaine who took the pairs to the bathroom. These were the nicest sets of clothes Blaine had ever been allowed to touch let alone wear. Soft fabric slid through his hands as he touched it idly. He didn’t consider himself worthy. This was all too much. Too much too fast. Why were they so nice to him? This was another struggle, another hurdle Blaine needed to push through. Swatting away the buzzing questions, Blaine put them on. These were Kurt’s old clothes and he wanted Blaine to have them therefore he should wear them.

When he walked out ten minutes later, Blaine took Kurt’s breath away. He looked absolutely gorgeous and in Kurt’s clothes too. Never in a million years would he admit it, but Kurt was proud of himself for what he chose. Of course anything would look better than the rags Blaine usually wore which hid away Blaine’s physique just as Blaine hid himself away. His foster brother had definitely filled out since his stay there, finally going from skinny to healthy. His eyes looked brighter too, less sad and overwhelmed. Only remnants of dark patches under his eyes remained. Now, if only Kurt could see him give a real smile. Although, Kurt mused, if that ever happened he was sure to melt to the floor in a big pile of goo.

With a nod of approval the two left for another morning of football practice. Kurt was late but thankfully excused by Coach Beiste even if he had to deal with some taunts from his fellow football players.

At school Blaine began to watch people interacting around him. People smiled at one another and greeted each other with big grins on their faces. Why couldn’t Blaine be one of those people? Have a friend to smile at, laugh with, greet when he saw them in the hallway. No, Blaine doesn’t deserve that. He was worthless and friends should be reserved for people who earned the right to have them. Music would always be his only friend. It didn’t judge him, it couldn’t hurt him. But there was Kurt right beside him, dropping him off at his next class like always. It was routine, and Blaine did a double take when he realized Kurt waved goodbye to him with a smile. Just as those around him did to their friends.

Maybe Kurt could be his friend too? Blaine shuddered at the thought, his toe now back inside the cage. He had wandered too far today. Because having a friend was terrifying. A friend was scary. It meant letting someone in, breaking down those barriers completely. It meant stepping fully outside that cage. A friend means opening yourself up to hurt.

Adventuring outside the cage was terrifying and exhausting leaving him more confused than ever before. He wanted what other people had, but he knew he didn’t deserve it. He was selfish. How could he even afford to think like that? How was it so easy for everyone else to laugh and smile? The urge to play the piano, to express his utter confusion and fear overwhelmed him. The notes needed to be let free. After class he snuck into the choir room.

At first he ghosted his hands over the keys, not daring to play them. But the urge to do so became too much. No longer was it enough to hover, his fingers wanted to play. The notes begged him. Never ceasing their craving to be free. To sing. A caged bird dreaming of the world beyond. His fingers moved on their own accord and the notes fluttered around him longing to be let go. If Blaine kept his hope locked away from freedom, maybe, at very least, his notes could be.

When Kurt realized Blaine hadn’t waited for him, instead of panicking as he had always done before, Kurt automatically went to the choir room knowing now Blaine sought refuge there. Silently, standing outside the door, he watched as Blaine’s fingers once again hovered over the keys. Kurt wanted him to play; wanted to hear the notes for which Blaine kept silent and repressed. He jumped as a soft noise emanated from the piano, a note was hit unexpectedly. He began to play and a smile formed on Kurt’s face, proud of Blaine. He wished to go over and hug his foster brother and share his joy, but this was a moment for which Kurt needed to leave Blaine alone. The kindest thing that could be done was let him figure it out by himself. So Kurt continued to stand by the doorway to watch and listen.

Blaine played gently and hesitant at first. His fingers shaking with anticipation, excitement, and nervousness all in one. Sometimes, though, no matter how hard a person tries, sometimes you need to let go. Slowly, Blaine got lost in his music. He closed his eyes and moved with the music, letting everything out and getting lost and emerged in it. Blaine was kept afloat by his music.

Kurt’s jaw dropped. Blaine was beautiful. The mellifluous music swept him away. Notes filled the room with beautiful sorrow. They colored the room dark. Shadows of black and grey crept around the room. Occasionally splashes of light surfaced from the overwhelming gloom. Like sparks from a match on a dark cold night. Not quit able to give it life as the flashes drifted dead to the ground. Kurt wanted to know this boy fully. Wanted to spark that match to where it burned to a full fire. He could see the warmth behind Blaine’s cold walls, the yearning for which Blaine felt. The music filled him and Kurt felt all of Blaine’s confusion and pain.

Sometimes when you can’t communicate the best alternative was music.

“He is really good,” said a quiet voice next to him breaking the spell Blaine held over Kurt. Mr. Schuester was leaning against the wall, watching and enjoying the music Blaine created just as Kurt was.

Kurt nodded, “That he is.” He really did not want to be talking with him right now, as anything Mr. Schuester wanted to say to Kurt would not be good. Mostly, Kurt was worried that the teacher would make him think. And Kurt was happy living in his fantasy world. Even if it was fake.

“We could really use him in Glee. Brad’s wife is having a baby and we’ll need a replacement soon.”

Kurt continued to walk away from the choir room, with his former teacher in tow, so Blaine would be able to leave the room without anyone around. “I’m sure you’ll be able to find someone else. Just leave Blaine alone.” There was no way Mr. Schuester was going to suck Blaine in. Kurt wouldn’t allow it.

“Is he your new foster brother?” Kurt nodded allowing him to continue talking. “Then the Glee club could use him just as much as he could use us.”

“No. Blaine has gone through a lot, and the last thing he needs is to add Glee to that list. He isn’t one of your projects, he is a person. I repeat, leave him alone.” Kurt shot Mr. Schuester with the coldest warning glare he could muster. If Blaine joined Glee it would only spell disaster for his foster brother, and Kurt could only do so much to stop it from happening. A shiver went down his spine, the slushies, the dumpster tosses, among other things. No, the very last thing Blaine needed was Glee.

“Blaine needs friends, Kurt.”

“What Blaine needs in none of your business.”

Mr. Schuester sighed, “The Glee club misses you. I know you miss it too. I see you playing football with Finn and Puck. You don’t enjoy it the way they do. You have a spark inside you when you sing. When you play football, I see nothing.”

Kurt walked away without a word, done with the conversation. He didn’t want to think about what he was told.