Especially today. After their encounter a few days ago, Kurt hasn’t heard from Blaine, hasn’t dared to call him or do anything but sit around and wallow in misery. He is being pathetic and he knows it. All he has to do is suck it up and move on like any normal person would.

But the problem is, he can’t.

Every time he tries to distract himself, he’ll see something that he knows Blaine would like, that would make him laugh and then he sees his face right in front of him, that stupid bright smile plastered across it and if he didn’t like this man so much, he’d hate him.

And now, he’s walking across the hall in the Plaza, knowing that the person he both dreads to see and misses so much at the same time is bound to walk in any minute now, accompanied with his soon-to-be-wife and their parents. And it’s killing him inside.

But as always, Kurt knows he has to put on a strong face and pretend like he didn’t sleep with Blaine a week ago, like he hasn’t kissed him countless times and like he isn’t way too close to falling head over heels for him.

“Honey, that’s perfect.” He hears a female voice behind himself and turns around, pocketing the phone after hanging up and smiling brightly at the two families entering. Maybe a little too brightly.

First in line is a couple, the Hispanic woman on her husband’s arm and looking around pointedly, eyeing the ceiling as she nods towards the staircase on the other end of the hall, leading up to another level that could be useful later on. He instantly know they’re Santana’s parents just from the faint but still there accent in her mother’s voice.

Trailing only a step behind them follows another couple, a tall man whose hair has started to turn from black to gray on the sides. His petite wife, walking besides him, looks a lot more like Blaine than his dad and Kurt can’t help but smile as he recognizes the same dimples Blaine gets when he’s smiling.

“Blaine, that was a fabulous decision.” She turns around slightly and Kurt takes one last breath before following her gaze.

Santana is holding onto Blaine’s hand lightly and her lips is worried between her teeth as she enters but the second she notices that she has eyes on her, she puts on a smile and nods. Blaine doesn’t look much better either; his jaw is set firmly despite the fake smile that looks painted on.

Over all, they both look like they’d rather be anywhere but here.

“Mr. and Mrs. Lopez and Anderson?” Kurt asks as if it wasn’t obvious and steps forward, stretching his hand out and shaking the first three hands with a smile. He’s got to at least try.

When Mr. Anderson steps up to him, his grip on Kurt’s hand is tighter than the one of the other’s and when he looks up into the man’s eyes he sees something that extremely unsettling and makes him want to squirm under his gaze. It’s like the look on his face displays all the disagreement already.

As if he needed another reason to dislike Blaine’s dad.

Finally, Santana and Blaine step up to him as well and Santana barely shakes his hand before she runs off towards her parents, babbling on about some hair style she wants to try and that so won’t fit the shape of her face, Kurt can tell already.

Blaine remains standing there for a few more seconds before he hesitatingly lifts his hand to take Kurt’s. Blaine doesn’t look at him, just eyes their hands and shuffles on his feet.

“Blaine!” his father calls eventually and Kurt realizes they have been standing there, their hands locked between them for just a tad too long.

In a heartbeat, Blaine drops his hand and twirls around, rushing off to walk over to where his parents are stood.

And so, Kurt takes a deep breath, forces a smile upon his face and approaches the six of them.

“Well, let’s start at the very beginning. This is where I planned on the buffet being displayed…”

The tour is over pretty soon since Santana seems to have a very vivid picture in her mind about where she wants everything to be, what colours the tablecloths should be and what kind of music should be playing. Blaine mutely agrees to everything.

Afterwards, Kurt is still chatting with Santana’s parents a little who turn out to be pretty alright despite her daughter and her mom is telling him about some receipt that’s supposed to be a gift of the gods or something like that when something else catches his eyes.

On the far end, outside of the hall and in the corridor, there is Blaine. Blaine and his father. And from the looks of it, he isn’t very happy. Blaine has his arms crossed and his head lowered as his dad gestures around wildly.

“… a spoon full of salt and that’s it. Mr. Hummel?”

Mrs. Lopez’ words get Kurt back into reality and his head snaps around to focus on the woman in front of him.

“Oh, wow. I’m definitely going to try that out soon.” He smiles despite not even knowing what she just told him.

When he looks over again, Blaine and his dad are entering the room again, his father saying something to his mom which leads to them all deciding that they’re going to leave now.

They say goodbye in the same order as greeting him though the hand of Blaine’s father grabs his even tighter now, making it almost painful but still covering the simply firm part.

Blaine is avoiding his eyes even more now, his handshake weak and if Kurt isn’t mistaken, his fingers tremble slightly.

And then, they leave.

Kurt busies himself with calling back the florist and sorting the mix-up out before he decides to go back home and make love to a tub of Ben & Jerry’s. It’s just one of those days.

So he throws his jacket over his arm and wraps the scarf around his neck as he makes his way towards the door.

Just as he is about to leave the room, he steps onto something. As he looks down, he sees the scarf on the floor and steps back, about to pick it up when it suddenly moves on its own.

Only then does he realize who the scarf belongs to.

Blaine.

He’s still there, sitting up against the wall on the floor, currently dragging his scarf back and brushing off the footprint Kurt has left on it.

“Sorry.” Is the only thing he can think of saying despite all the questions in his head, such as why in the world is he still here?

“Don’t worry about it.”

“Blaine?”

“Hm?”

“Can you look at me?”

And Blaine does, slowly lifts his head and Kurt can see the moisture in his eyes and the faint trail of a single tear that seems to have run down his cheek just seconds ago.

Without thinking about it, Kurt drops his bag and slides up next against the other man, pulling his knees to his chest even though he’s wearing really expensive jeans and stains will be a bitch to get out.

And so he sits there, in the hallway of a very empty Plaza hotel and reaches out to take the hand of the man he wants so desperately but knows he can’t have.

“Tell me.”

“Tell you what?”

“I’m not stupid.” He points out and Blaine’s head drops further as he takes a shaky breath and his hand trembles slightly in Kurt’s.

“I just – I can’t do anything right, can I?” he whispers and Kurt gently strokes his thumb over his knuckles, waiting for more of an explanation.

“I-I’m marrying Santana. I’m doing what he wants. But he’s still just so upset about everything I do. He yelled at me for shaking your hand for too long and how I can’t even think about falling back into that stupid, immature phase of mine that I seem to have finally overcome.” Tears are welling up in Blaine’s eyes but he’s quick to wipe at them to keep them from spilling over.

“And he-he called you so many horrible things and I know he’s going to do the same with me. No one has the right to talk about you this way and I-I just…” A heavy sob cuts him off and he crumbles, falls apart as his entire body shakes with the force of his sobs.

Kurt doesn’t hesitate, he can’t hesitate. So he gathers the trembling man in his arms and tucks him under his chin to press a light kiss to the top of his curly head.

“I wish I was stronger.” Blaine manages to choke out over his sobs, his hands fisting into the material of Kurt’s shirt as his face presses against his chest.

Kurt simply strokes his hand over his back and rocks him softly, shushing him.

“It’s okay, shh. You are strong. You’re so much stronger than you think you are, Blaine.”

“Then why can’t I just tell him that – that I’m gay?” he says quietly, his sobs dying down a bit but he’s still shaking slightly.

“Because you can’t.” And Kurt knows that, he has seen Blaine’s dad angry and with how much Blaine seems to care about him, he doesn’t want him to be sad. Or, in this case, even more sad than he is already.

“But it’s just not fair to you.”

Kurt takes a deep breath, swallowing thickly. A part of him agrees with it, tells him that it really isn’t fair how Kurt feels so much for Blaine when he’s marrying someone else. But he can’t help it, can he?

So he reaches down to tilt Blaine’s head up from where it’s tucked against his neck and wipes the tears from his face.

“Blaine… I care about you. I want you to be happy.”

“I’m happy when I’m with you.” Blaine answers without a second of hesitation and Kurt can’t help but smile at how sure he seems of it.

“I’m happy with you, too.”

“That’s why it’s not fair to you.” Blaine repeats and blinks up at him with those wet, red-rimmed eyes that look as if Blaine’s word is seriously falling apart over this.

“You need to stop worrying about everyone else.” Kurt tells him, voice soft and quiet to sooth the other man. “You can’t make all of them happy at the same time, but you try to. Your dad, Santana, me. It’s too much for you, Blaine. You have to start taking care of yourself as well.”

Blaine goes quiet at that and seems to think about that for a while until his head drops onto Kurt’s shoulder, his arms loosely around his waist as he draws him closer.

“I really like you, Kurt.”

“I like you, too.”

Kurt smiles slightly, the arm around his shoulders tightening a little as he moves to kiss his forehead, but Blaine’s hand on his cheek stops him, his calloused thumb stroking over the smooth skin over his cheekbone.

And before Kurt can even react, he has leaned up and pressed their lips together. It’s not as heated or needy as it was before they slept together but somehow… right and comfortable. Blaine’s hand feels so warm and perfect on his face that Kurt can’t help but return the gesture, stroking the other man’s cheek lovingly as their lips move together.

When Blaine pulls away, his tongue swipes across his bottom lip one last time before his head falls back onto his shoulder. Kurt can feel his breath against his bare neck where the scarf has slipped down a little.

“Blaine you know that this is-“

“Cheating?”

“Yeah.”

Kurt nods since he doesn’t really have anything to say about that but keeps Blaine close and even smiles as he presses a silly, little peck to his jaw.

“But how can something so wrong feel so right?” Blaine asks absentmindedly as his fingers trace random patterns across Kurt’s stomach. It’s so quiet that Kurt isn’t even sure if he was suppose to hear it but he has.

And he has absolutely no answer for it.

In his mind, cheating had always been the worst thing one could do, the very first reason to break up with someone. It was what tore people apart and broke amazing connections. So why was he so comfortable with it? Shouldn’t he be more disgusted with all of it, with himself, with Blaine even?

He should.

But he isn’t.