"I'm really really sorry," Kurt starts frantically as soon as they sit down in the couch, but Blaine immediately cuts him off.

"Don't be," he says with a flick of his hand. "I mean, unless you're genuinely sorry. But don't just apologize for my sake."

"I didn't want to freak you out," Kurt tries to explain once more, but again Blaine starts shaking his head.

"Don't worry about it, you didn't freak me out," he says reassuringly, although the way he's biting his lip is in direct contradiction with his words. "You just... surprised me."

They fall silent, and it takes a couple of minutes before Kurt realizes Blaine is waiting for him to start talking. He's the one whose ill-considered remark has started this, after all.

The only problem is he has no idea where to start, because the words that had so thoughtlessly escaped him had come out of nowhere, and even if they hadn't freaked out Blaine, they had most certainly freaked out Kurt - although to be fair he isn't quite sure whether it is just because of what he said, or because of how much he meant it.

"Santana..." he finally tries, part of his nerves dissipating when he sees Blaine's surprise. "Santana - she said we act like a married couple."

"But you don't agree," Blaine guesses, not giving any hint of how he feels about the statement, and Kurt wobbles his head.

"I didn't," he says contemplatively. "But then... then I thought about it, and... she's kind of right. I mean - whenever people invite us over, they invite us together. Everywhere we go, except for school and the occasional girls' night, we're together. We live together, we make dinner together, ... we even have stupid fights together. And like this morning? Don't get me wrong, I loved it, but... people don't do that. Friends don't do that. And sometimes it's like we're a couple without the label or the sex."

Kurt lets the words linger, expecting some kind of reaction from Blaine. It takes him a while before he understands why it doesn't come.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

Because that doesn't make any sense. If Blaine had thought it too, for god knows how long, if he'd felt that they were acting more like boyfriends than like friends, why didn't he say anything? Why didn't he try to talk to Kurt, try to convince him to give them another shot? Did he not... did he not want them to be together anymore?

"It wasn't... I didn't know if maybe I was making it up in my head," Blaine finally replies, shifting sideways so he can better look at Kurt. "I didn't want to force you to put a label on something I wasn't even sure you were feeling."

"Clearly Santana wasn't as considerate," Kurt blurts out with an eye roll and Blaine gives him a short smile, but then quickly schools his expression back to that unreadable front. It unsettles Kurt more then he'd like to admit, until he remembers the way Blaine had avoided his question the last time Kurt had asked whether he wanted to be more than friends, that night before Santana had given him her lecture.

He doesn't think he deserves me anymore. That's why he settled for that strange pseudo-relationship of ours, why he really didn't tell me. Because he thinks it's all I'll want to give him anyway.

He only realizes he's been staring at Blaine when Blaine looks away, ducking his head, and suddenly Kurt aches to touch him, although he knows he doesn't have to - he would never forget how it felt to touch Blaine.

Still...

He reaches out slowly, to give Blaine a chance to back away. He doesn't, though, and Kurt lets his fingers trail along Blaine's forehead, over his temple and further down along his jaw bone. Blaine shivers under the touch, but he doesn't say anything, lets Kurt explore - slowly, gently.

"Sometimes I think I can see it, you know," Kurt says softly, cupping Blaine's cheek and watching his own thumb stroke over it. "The virus. I can see it, crawling under your skin, coursing through your veins, angry, looking for a way out. It knows I'm here and it's just waiting, biding its time, until I forget, for a moment, that it wants to get me, too."

When he reaches up again, fingertips following the line of Blaine's eyebrows, Blaine closes his eyes, and Kurt suspects he enjoys the touch as much as Kurt does, even if he's trying not to show it. And even though the last couple of weeks they've been more physical with each other, it has never been like this. Never so... close.

It's never been so obvious.

"I want to be with you, Blaine, I really do. I want to be with you so badly it scares me. But that... that thing... it scares me even more."

He lets his hand rest on the side of Blaine's neck as he meets the dark eyes staring back at him, and he can feel Blaine's pulse quickening under his touch. It's a strange feeling, knowing that the blood pumping beneath his fingers both gives Blaine life and holds what could take it away, and Kurt can feel his mouth run dry.

"We don't have to, you know," Blaine murmurs. "We can just... be. Together. As we are. If you don't... We don't have to... have sex... to be a valid couple."

"But I want to have sex with you!" Kurt exasperates, letting go of Blaine. "I want to touch you, and kiss you, and watch you come undone - for me. Because of me."

Kurt can see Blaine's eyes widen in surprise, and it gives him just that bit of courage he needs to continue talking.

"I know there's lots of stuff we can do... safe stuff... but every time I look at you it's there and it paralyzes me. The idea of what it could do to me. What it could do to you. And it just... doesn't seem fair to you. To be so scared. To be with you... without being with you."

"I'm not sure what you want from me then, Kurt," Blaine says slowly, the look in his eyes and the sound of his voice equal parts hope and insecurity, and it almost breaks Kurt's heart. Because what he wants is for Blaine to just kiss him, and to kiss him back; what he wants is for them to just figure things out together. He can hear Nick's voice in the back of his head -short from swallowing there is n�thing we did you couldn't do with Blaine- and he's almost surprised to find that that idea doesn't even freak him out anymore.

The problem is he's not 100% sure he won't freak out when he's faced with the reality of it.

"Time," he finally answers Blaine's question, glancing down at his hands. Blaine has already given him so much time, and it seems hypocritical to ask for even more. "I want to... I want us to be together, I really do. But I want 'us' to be really 'us', and not some faint blueprint of what we could be. And I can't... I can't give you everything. Yet."

"But Kurt... ," Blaine says softly, eyes wide, "Kurt, you just have."

Kurt doesn't even think about pulling away when Blaine leans in and presses their lips together, soft at first and then, when he feels Kurt doesn't back away, just a little firmer - dry and warm just there.

It hasn't lasted nearly long enough when Blaine pulls away, and they take a moment to catch their breath, foreheads still pressed together.

"Okay... ," Kurt finally breaks the silence, letting out a shaky laugh, "I didn't see that one coming."

He intended it to be a joke, but instead Blaine's eyes just widen in shock, as if he only now realizes just what had happened, and he immediately pulls away from Kurt.

"Oh god," he says guiltily, almost panicked, rubbing his hands over his face and avoiding Kurt's eyes. "Oh god I'm sorry, that was - way too forward. I shouldn't have- but you... and I-"

"Hey!" Kurt interrupts him, reaching out to make Blaine look at him. "It's all right, that's not what I meant, it's... I didn't think you'd want to... to... . Well, let's just say I didn't expect that reaction."

He smiles, but Blaine ducks his head, biting his lip.

"Look Kurt, I'm-" he starts, obviously searching for his words, "I know it's not the same, but I don't really want... all that... either. Sex, I mean. Yet. I don't... I mean..." He rubs his forehead, taking a deep breath before continuing a little firmer. "It was only Brad. Once. And then you. Trust me, if that's the only thing holding you back I'm... I probably want to take things even slower than you do."

It leaves Kurt speechless for a second. Because he has never even considered it, that, when it comes to sex, out of the two of them he is actually the more experienced one. And if Kurt has a hard time separating sex with Blaine from HIV, it has to be even more difficult for Blaine himself, who's had sex all of two times.

The first time he'd gotten infected with HIV.

The second time he had almost passed it on to his boyfriend.

"I'm pretty clueless, really," Blaine continues, and Kurt just squeezes his hand, because he's not sure what to say to that. So much has happened over the past few weeks between the two of them - they've screamed and laughed and cried and cuddled, but he's never been more sure that being with Blaine is what makes him happy. And even though he doesn't know whether they'll be able to make it work -whether Blaine will be able to give him the openness and the honesty he needs, whether he will be able to not worry himself to death- he realizes that there's no way he can know either. He could spend another six months, or even six years, trying to figure things out, but he'll never get any closer to being absolutely certain that he will be able to navigate this relationship successfully.

It's a relationship. It's life. And there are no certainties.

But the truth of the matter is that they are making it work, that they have been making it work for weeks - months, even. With ups and downs, with laughter and with tears, but they're both still here, they're both still willing to put in the effort and force it to work if need be.

At least, Kurt is.

"Could we... do you think... maybe... we could figure it out together?" he asks, hope and fear and excitement battling for dominance in his chest, but when he sees Blaine look back at him with the same mixture of emotions in his eyes, he doesn't hesitate. He leans in for another kiss, and Blaine gasps when he lets his tongue trail over his bottom lip, trying not to think too much about how bold he's being as he presses forward. He's been thinking too much over the last few months, always thinking, always afraid, but he's done thinking now, he's done being afraid. And while some vague, distant part of him tells him he might regret this in the morning, somehow he knows he won't. Because his skin is tingling and his stomach is clenching, every single fibre of his being screaming as he explores Blaine's mouth with his tongue, searches for a taste of Blaine as he re-acquaints himself with its shape, its texture, and Kurt has never felt more right, more at home, than in this moment.

When he pulls back he runs his hand through Blaine's hair as he drinks in the simple proximity of him, heart swelling at the amazement and wonder in Blaine's eyes.

"Kurt," Blaine starts, "Kurt, you don't h-"

"I want to," Kurt interrupts him, "I don't know how, but I do want this."

He knows he might screw up. In fact, he's pretty sure he'll screw up. But Blaine kissed him. He kissed Blaine. And there is no possible way he can go back to before.

"You really think we can make this work?" Blaine whispers.

It's as much a question as it is a statement, and Kurt shoots Blaine a bashful smile.

"I hope so," he whispers back. "I really want us to."

-o0o-

They spend the night in Kurt's bed - giggling, cuddling, and kissing, exchanging sweet nothings and talking about silly things, like whether the man in the moon would be gay (yes) and why chickens were never purple (it would make the eggs taste bad). There are no wandering hands, no passion to lose themselves in, the both of them simply reveling in the proximity of one another, the simple but beautiful reality of them. In a way it is no different from how they have always been, only now they've given themselves permission to actually enjoy it.

When Blaine wakes up the next morning, he finds himself alone in bed, and it takes him a couple of minutes to realize why it feels odd until he takes in the unfamiliar surroundings and the events from last night come back to him.

Kurt had kissed him. Not accidentally, not just a peck on the cheek or even the lips but an actual, real kiss. More than one, too, come to think of it.

He's just pushing himself up, wondering where Kurt has gone -he hasn't changed his mind has he?- when the door opens slowly, and Kurt's ass appears, followed by his back, his arms, and finally, a tray with what appears to be a stack of cr�pes. There are two glasses of juice there as well -freshly squeezed, if the amount of pulp is any indication-, which seems to be the reason Kurt makes his way to the bed very, very slowly.

"Good morning," he tells Blaine shyly as he puts down the tray in front of him, settling down on the bed with his legs tucked under him. He seems unsure of what to do next, and Blaine realizes he's waiting for him to say something.

"Good morning," he replies, bending forward slightly to cup Kurt's face, rubbing his thumb over Kurt's cheek as he tugs lightly. Kurt complies immediately, leaning in to press his lips against Blaine's, and Blaine can't help but hum in enjoyment. He'll never take Kurt's kisses for granted, he knows that much.

They pull apart, and Blaine looks down at the tray beneath them.

"I know I don't have 'the magic swirl'," Kurt tells him playfully before he can say anything, "but I tried."

"They smell delicious," Blaine says earnestly, smiling as he looks back up. "You didn't need to do that, you know?"

"I wanted to," Kurt assures him. "To... celebrate?"

He looks up at Blaine, uncharacteristically shy, as if he somehow expects Blaine to turn him down. Doesn't he know I've been dreaming of this day forever, Blaine wonders, and he holds out his arm, wobbling his fingers.

"Come here," he says, pressing a kiss against Kurt's temple when he scoots over, melting into Blaine's embrace. "Let's celebrate."

The cr�pes are as delicious as they smelled, Blaine discovers, and within two minutes he's already eaten three, leading Kurt to express his concerns about not only the amount of pancakes prepared, but also -and more importantly- the effect on Blaine's cholesterol levels.

"My cholesterol will be fine," Blaine laughs, reaching for his glass of juice. "Besides, you're the one who's made cr�pes for the second day in a row, so don't go blaming me for enjoying."

He takes a gulp of the juice, face distorting when an unexpected bitterness registers in his mouth.

"No offense," he says, sniffing the glass, "but are you sure these oranges were still good? 'Cause they taste a bit... off."

Kurt immediately reaches for his own glass, smelling at it suspiciously before he takes a tentative sip.

"I think it's fine," he says, smacking a bit to spread the taste in his mouth, "a bit bitter, maybe, but that's just the grapefruit, I'm sure."

Blaine almost chokes on his next gulp.

"It's grapefruit juice?"

"We only had two oranges left," Kurt explains, eyeing Blaine with increased worry when he starts wiping his mouth furiously, "so I added a grapefruit as well. Adding a bit of flavor? Why, did I do something wrong?"

"N-no," Blaine says, putting down the napkin, but even he hears how unconvincing it sounds. He can see Kurt is still watching him, trying to make sense of Blaine's reaction, and for a second Blaine is tempted to retort to his usual answer in these situations - that he's allergic to grapefruit. It's not that far from the truth, after all.

But this is his boyfriend now. This is Kurt.

"I'm sorry for shouting," he says a bit sheepishly, "it's just... I can't have grapefruit."

"You... can't?" Kurt repeats, looking puzzled. "Why, are you allergic or something?"

"Not quite," Blaine says hesitantly, resisting the urge to simply say 'yes' and taking a deep breath. "There's this... reaction... between my ARTs and grapefruit. It changes the levels of the drugs in my blood -up or down, I don't quite remember which- when really they should be constant, so... yeah... I-eh... I shouldn't have it."

Even with all the talking they've done this past week he knows neither of them are completely comfortable discussing anything related to Blaine's health yet and so he's not surprised at the sudden silence after the mention of his meds, but he's not expecting the horrified look in Kurt's eyes when he looks back at Blaine, and it makes his stomach twist.

"Kurt? Kurt, are you all right?"

But Kurt just shakes his head, detaching himself from Blaine as his eyes dart all over the room and then back to Blaine, his face even paler than usual.

"Kurt?" Blaine asks again, his worry increasing. "Say something, Kurt, what's wrong? Did I do something or-"

"I almost poisoned you!" Kurt chokes out, cutting him off. "I... you..."

It's all Blaine needs to hear and he hurries to put the breakfast tray on the floor next to the bed, turning back immediately to reach out for Kurt. He struggles when Blaine tries to pull him in, but even though he has clearly been working out more lately Blaine has years of boxing under his belt, and he easily wraps his arms around the shaking man, pressing him close.

"Hey... it's ok," he whispers, "I'm ok. You didn't know. It's ok."

"I c-could've killed you!" Kurt sobs. "I c-could've..."

"... made me feel nauseous for a few hours, tops," Blaine tells him, rocking him softly. "Unless you count that heart attack you just gave me, that could've killed me."

"It's not funny!" Kurt yells, breaking away and swatting at Blaine's chest. "Why didn't you tell me? And don't you dare give me that it's-not-important crap!"

Blaine has to try his hardest to suppress a grin - he's very aware of the seriousness of their conversation, but he can't help it. He'll never admit it to Kurt, partly because he knows Kurt wouldn't believe him, but this is his favorite Kurt. Because even though his face is blotched from crying and his hair is wild he's 100% Kurt - fierce and passionate, ready to tear down anything or anyone who dares to cross his path.

"I forgot. Because it's not important." He puts a finger against Kurt's lips when he sees he's about to protest. "If a gulp of grapefruit juice could hurt me, let alone kill me, don't you think I would've told you? I know I may seem secretive, but I'm not suicidal. I would probably have to drink a whole glass of pure juice to feel any effect, if I would feel anything at all, and more than that to have any long term effects. It's. not. important."

He punctuates the last words by tapping his finger against Kurt's nose, but Kurt shakes his head again, wrapping his arms around himself as he glares at Blaine.

"You still should've told me," he grumbles, clearly not convinced. "See, that's what I mean: every time I think I know it all, something else pops up."

"Well, now you know it all," Blaine acquiesces, spreading his arms.

"That's what you say every time," Kurt says stubbornly, although Blaine can tell it's more because he's recovering from the shock than because he is actually angry. "What else? Any allergies you haven't told me about? A gambling addiction? If there's anything I don't know, now's the time to tell me, because otherwise I swear to Marc Jacobs' new winter collection - I will replace your hair gel with glue and I will not help you get it out."

"You would not!" Blaine gasps, pressing his hand against his chest in mock shock, and he's still looking for a witty retort when he remembers the letter out on the kitchen counter, the one he hadn't had the chance to tell Kurt about the day before, and he can feel a mischievous smile creep up on his face.

"I kn�w it!" Kurt exasperates when he sees Blaine's smile, throwing a pillow at his head. "I knew it! It's always the same with you, Anderson, �lways! So, which one is it? You got cancer? You're a drug dealer? You turned straight?"

An amused chuckle bubbles up in Blaine's throat.

"I- no, I'm still very much gay, thankyouverymuch. Without a criminal record. And cancer-free, as far as I know. I-" He glances at the bedroom door and then turns back to Kurt. "I'm just gonna get something, all right? Just wait here, don't move."

He slips out of bed, jogging to the kitchen and back as quickly as he can - in the warm bedroom he was fine in just his boxers, but it's considerably colder out and he hurries to get back under the sheets with Kurt who, by the time he gets back, has pulled a couple of extra pillows on the bed, making himself more comfortable.

"I thought I told you not to move," Blaine tells him off good-naturedly as he slips next to him under the covers, handing Kurt the white envelope before he scoots closer, trying to steal some of Kurt's body heat.

Kurt doesn't even bother to reply, shooting Blaine a condescending look as he pulls out the letter and unfolds it, and Blaine watches while he reads, learns about the 6-week internship at HAPE Blaine has been granted.

"It's in Los Angeles," Blaine says quietly, "but I might be able to just do my training there and then set up a project here in New York - the letter only came yesterday, I still have to figure it out."

But Kurt doesn't even seem to hear him, throwing his arms around Blaine's neck and nearly suffocating him in the process.

"I'm so happy for you - congratulations!"

Kurt pulls back, but not before pressing a firm kiss against Blaine's lips. "This is the one you wanted, right?"

"Yes," Blaine nods, smiling broadly, happy because Kurt is happy, and because it seems to have taken his mind off of the grapefruit incident at least. "Yes, this is the one I wanted. But as I said it's in Lo-"

"Sshht," Kurt silences him with another kiss. "It's not important."

He smiles coyly, moving to straddle Blaine after he puts the letter down on the nightstand, effectively trapping Blaine between the headboard and himself, and it's all Blaine can do to simply look at him, wondering not for the first time just what it was he had done to deserve not only knowing a person as sweet and caring as Kurt, but also to have him love him back.

He feels more than he sees how Kurt raises his hands to softly run his thumbs over Blaine's cheeks before he lets them come to rest on the sides of his neck, pulling slightly, and Blaine gladly concedes.

"Seems like we have one more reason to celebrate," Kurt whispers against Blaine's lips before he kisses them, softly. They are more small, airy pecks than they are actual kisses, and Blaine gasps when Kurt turns bolder, licking and nibbling gently, easily taking advantage of Blaine's now parted lips to slide his tongue inside Blaine's mouth, exploring the taste and the texture and the warmth of it as if it's the first time they meet, as if they haven't been doing exactly this for hours the night before.

Blaine returns the kiss with an eagerness that surprises even himself, and the fact that Kurt still has a firm hold on his neck, keeping him in place, does nothing to decrease the heat building up low in his stomach - on the contrary. He reaches out on instinct, letting his hands wander freely over Kurt's shoulders and down along his sides, pressing them even closer, and when Kurt takes his bottom lip and sucks it into his mouth he groans, pulling Kurt down as his hips buck up involuntarily.

It takes him only half a second before he realizes what he's done and he immediately freezes - they'd agreed on taking it slow, but what exactly 'slow' constituted of hadn't been specified. And while Kurt had been the one to crawl on his lap in the first place, Blaine isn't too sure exactly where the line lies for Kurt - or even for himself.

"I- eh..." he starts hesitantly, not knowing whether to apologize or to ask for permission, but when he looks up Kurt is watching him curiously, head cocked to the side, as if he's not sure why Blaine has suddenly pulled away from their kiss. "I just- we said we would take things slow," he finally manages a little sheepishly, and Kurt lifts a questioning eyebrow.

"Well, yeah - but not... not th�t slow, right?" he asks, although he immediately backpedals. "I mean- unless you want to take it that slow, of course. Because it would be totally fine if you did."

"Oh no! No... no," Blaine hurries to say, ready to hit himself over the head for how clumsy he sounds. He has no idea things like this usually work, how he is supposed to know where the line between 'too slow' and 'too fast' is. Should they make a list, maybe? "I just... I didn't want to freak you out, I guess."

"Well... I admit I wasn't immediately prepared for... that," Kurt giggles, sitting back a little and nodding at Blaine's boxer briefs where it's painfully obvious he's already half-hard. "But I'm hardly in a position to judge, am I?"

It's only now that Blaine sees the slight bulge in Kurt's pants matching his own, and he swallows painfully, forcing himself to tear his gaze away although he can't immediately bring himself to look up at Kurt. When their eyes finally do meet however, Kurt shifts a little.

"You can... you know... touch. If you wanted to."

The words are spoken quietly, and the accompanying bashful smile sends a jolt through Blaine's stomach.

"Are you sure?" he asks. Because he wants to, he really, really wants to. But he has to ask, if not for Kurt's sake then for his own. "It's not because we... we don't have to do this. You don't have to-"

"I know," Kurt says, sounding a little breathless and nervous, but still determined. "But- we can... figure it out. Right?"

Blaine nods, his own breath hitching in his throat. He's fantasized about this, hoped that one day he would find a man who he could trust -and who trusted him- enough to be able to take this step, wished that it wouldn't be just a silly, love struck fantasy. But the sudden reality of it, and the fact that it's Kurt, of all people, he's doing this with, leaves him a bit dizzy.

Kurt seems to misunderstand his sudden silence, though, because he scoots a little further back.

"It's ok if you're not comfortable, you know," he says hesitantly, although he's unable to hide the hint of disappointment in his voice. "There's two of us in this."

"No!" Blaine says quickly and he strengthens his hold on Kurt's hips to prevent him from moving further back, trying to catch Kurt's gaze as he thinks how to explain this to Kurt. "No... it's not- it's not that. It's just this... it's a bit much to take in, really."

To his surprise, Kurt starts laughing softly.

"I know," he says, biting his lip as he glances up at Blaine. "Me too."

Without hesitation, Blaine leans forward, capturing Kurt's mouth in a heated kiss, desperate to let Kurt know how grateful he is, how incredibly lucky he considers himself to still have him, despite everything that's happened.

They finally break away panting, foreheads still pressed together, and they stay like that for a couple of minutes, simply enjoying each other's presence and proximity. It's not that Blaine doesn't want to take Kurt up on his offer, but he's just not sure exactly how to go about it. It seems Kurt understands though, because he's the one to bring his arm down, placing his hand over Blaine's where it is still resting on his hip.

"I want you to stop me as soon as you're not comfortable anymore, ok?" he says softly as he leans forward again, pressing a light kiss against the corner of Blaine's mouth, and it's all Blaine can do to just nod and let Kurt take control.

Their eyes remain fixed on each other as their hands move together, slowly, along Kurt's thigh and down towards his crotch, and when Blaine's hand finally closes down around Kurt's hard-on they both suck in a breath. Kurt presses both their hands down, simultaneously rolling his hips up, looking for friction, and Blaine can feel Kurt's erection grow under his hand. It's not the first time he's held another man's cock, but it is the first time he actually dares to take the time and allow himself to enjoy it - the warmth and the feel of it, undeniable even through the thin layer of fabric. He strokes his hand up experimentally, feeling his own cock twitch at the moans it elicits from Kurt and he tilts his head, seeking out Kurt's mouth. Kurt seems to have a different idea, though, pulling back just a little, lips just out of Blaine's reach, forcing Blaine to lean in a bit further. But when he does Kurt simply repeats his game and Blaine groans in frustration, lifting his free hand to grab at Kurt's neck, pulling him in with a little more force than necessary.

"I never knew you were such a tease," he whispers accusingly against Kurt's lips when he pulls away from their kiss, and Kurt chuckles.

"I thought for sure the three years it has taken for us to get together would have been a clue."

He lets go of Blaine's hand then and scoots backwards, rolling his eyes when Blaine moans at the loss of contact.

"Come here, silly," he giggles, tugging at Blaine's hips, and Blaine lets himself be dragged down onto his back, lifting his arms in a silent plea for Kurt to get closer. But Kurt leans back on his heels instead, drinking in the view of him, shirtless and maybe preening just a little bit under the attention. Blaine's never been extremely self-conscious - he's received enough compliments from guys -and girls- to know that he's not bad-looking. But here, now, with Kurt looking at him as if he's the most beautiful person he's ever seen, Blaine aches for him - aches to touch and to be touched, to let Kurt see every part of him. And so when Kurt brings up his hands, dragging them down Blaine's chest he can't help the moan that escapes his lips, and he closes his eyes as he throws his head back, the pressure of Kurt's fingers going straight to his cock.

"You're gorgeous," Kurt whispers against his lips, and Blaine's sure under other circumstances he would've returned the compliment, but right now, with Kurt hovering over him, his warmth surrounding him, it's all he can do to lift his head and kiss Kurt hungrily, claiming what should have been his years ago.

"Off," he grumbles when he feels Kurt's shirt stroke against his stomach. It only takes one tug for Kurt to sit a little straighter and pull his pajama top over his head, tossing it carelessly behind him before he surges forward again, fisting his hands in Blaine's hair as he kisses him.

"Aren't you going to fold that?" Blaine asks between kisses, and he chuckles when he hears Kurt groan in disapproval.

"Priorities, Blaine. Priorities," Kurt mumbles as he trails Blaine's jawline with kisses, tracing down along his neck, and every touch, every breath feels to Blaine as if his skin is on fire. He drags his hands along Kurt's side and further down, cupping his ass cheeks to pull him closer but it's not enough, and he bends his leg, using it to push himself off and turn them around.

"You're going to drive m- fuck!"

A sharp pain shoots through his leg, and he immediately pushes Kurt away from him, sitting up to grab at his calf.

"Are you ok?" Kurt asks worriedly, his voice breathy and his cheeks flushed from their previous activities, and Blaine shrugs.

"Yeah," he grumbles, "just your fucking toe nail."

He leans forward to take a closer look, wincing as he follows the trail of red across the back of his leg with his thumb, and he feels a surge of relief when he sees the skin appears intact.

"It's just a graze," he tells Kurt. "Didn't go through the skin, it's fine."

But Kurt doesn't say anything, and when Blaine looks up at him and sees him stare at Blaine's leg with wide open eyes he throws himself back on the bed.

"Oh fuck," he groans, covering his face with his hands. "I really ruined it now, didn't I?"

"Hey, no - no!" Kurt immediately scoots closers, swinging his leg back over him to straddle him. "No!" he repeats, peeling away Blaine's hands. "We said- we said we were going to figure this out, right? So... that's what we're doing, we're figuring it out. Lesson one - I need to cut my nails more often."

There's a tremble to Kurt's voice, but when Blaine finally dares to meet his eyes he can see nothing but stubborn determination, and before he can think of something to say Kurt's already leaning down, kissing him for all he's worth. And with Kurt still on top of him, still holding his wrists, it's all Blaine can do to just kiss him back, and when they finally break apart, Blaine can't help but smile.

"What?" Kurt asks, looking at him a little suspiciously, but Blaine simply shrugs.

"You're doing that zig-zag thing again," he says lazily, lifting his hand to cup Kurt's cheek and pretty sure that, if he were to look in a mirror right now, his pupils would be heart-shaped. Kurt, on the other hand, still looks a little apprehensive.

"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?"

"Oh - a good thing," Blaine whispers, smiling as he curls his hand around Kurt's neck to pull him closer, "a really, really good thing."

The kiss is slower and more deliberate than their previous one, and Blaine shivers when Kurt moves away from his mouth, dotting his face with small kisses until he reaches Blaine's ear.

"This okay?" he asks softly.

And it is okay - more than okay, even, because Kurt is everywhere around him, his thighs pressed tight against Blaine's, his lips on his neck and his fingers trailing over his chest, mapping out the lines of his shoulders and pecs and abs, leaving goosebumps in their wake. And it feels better - so much better than Blaine has ever imagined it would feel, and even if this was all Kurt would ever be willing to give him he knows it would be enough. His hands seem to wander on their own accord, traveling down over Kurt's back and when Kurt traces his tongue along the curve of his ear, circling the lobe before he closes his lips around it and tugs at it gently, Blaine's hands tighten around Kurt's hips and he arches his head back, exposing his neck in silent plea for more. Kurt's chuckle vibrates against his skin, but Blaine can't bring himself to care - Kurt can make fun of Blaine all he wants as long as he doesn't stop doing what he's doing now, gently kissing Blaine's neck as he slowly makes his way down to Blaine's collarbones.

The sudden sensation of Kurt's tongue swirling around his nipple makes Blaine gasp and he brings his hands up to bury them in Kurt's hair, tugging ever so slightly, wordlessly asking Kurt to not stop, to please never stop. He should have known not to mess with Kurt's hair, though.

"U-uh," Kurt says playfully, his fingers hot against Blaine's skin when he pushes Blaine's arms behind his head. "My treat."

Blaine wants to protest, he honestly does, but it's hard to think of any counterarguments when Kurt's hands and lips are ghosting over his chest again, touching and nibbling and kissing every square inch of him, and for the first time in his life Blaine allows himself to get lost in the sensation, to enjoy the feel and the proximity of Kurt without worrying about boundaries and limits only he is aware of. The realization that, from now on, he no longer has to fight the feeling of want building low in his stomach simply makes his head spin, and when Kurt dips his tongue in his belly button he groans, back arching and knuckles turning white as his fingers close tight around the edge of the headboard.

But when Kurt moves down even further the heated want quickly turns into panic, and his hand instantly snaps down to grab at Kurt's wrist. He doesn't want Kurt's fingers hooking under the waistband of his boxer briefs, doesn't want Kurt's mouth anywhere near the wet spot of pre-come rapidly forming on the front of them. It's too much - too fast - too soon. But when he lifts his head to tell Kurt to stop he finds Kurt already waiting for him, staring right back at him. I won't go further, Kurt's eyes tell him, I'm not ready either, and I won't. He holds Blaine's gaze in silent reassurance as he gently kisses his way from one hipbone to the other, nibbling and teasing but never crossing the cotton barrier of Blaine's boxers that they have both wordlessly agreed on. And slowly, Blaine can feel himself relax again, and he lets his head fall back on the pillow, closing his eyes when Kurt frees his wrist from Blaine's grip, lacing their fingers together instead.

"Oh god yes," he moans when Kurt traces the soft trail of hair that leads down from his navel with his tongue, toes curling and fingers clutching at Kurt's even more tightly. But it isn't until he feels the gentle pressure of Kurt's free hand over his crotch that he realizes how hard he is already, and he instinctively pushes his hips up into Kurt's touch, looking for friction and fervently hoping that Kurt doesn't choose this moment to start teasing again. But to his relief Kurt indulges him, gently stroking his cock and mouthing over his balls, slowly working him over, and Blaine is not prepared for how amazing it feels even through the thin fabric of his boxers, the teasing pull-and-drag of the cotton against his hard-on making him gasp for air.

The heat that's building up low in the pit of his stomach is familiar but the intensity is new - every inch of his skin tingling, every single nerve in his body burning with a fervor Blaine has never felt before. And even though it costs him more energy that he's willing to admit he lifts his head because he wants to see, needs to see that this is not just a dream, that it is Kurt between his legs, making him feel this way, giving him everything he's never allowed himself to want. But when Kurt looks up at him through his eyelashes, slowly dragging his nail along the wet fabric covering his cock it's more than Blaine can take. He's too close and not ready for this to be over yet, and so he tugs at the hand Kurt is still holding, pulling him up to crash their mouths together. His lips end up somewhere next to Kurt's nose instead but he doesn't care, cupping Kurt's face with both hands to bring him closer, frantically trying to share the fire and the ardor that seem to have taking over his body.

But he hadn't counted on the gloriously torturous drag of Kurt's body, lean and strong and solid against his hard-on as he pulls him up, and even through the layers of clothing that separate their bodies he can feel Kurt's erection press hard against his own, making him groan in desperation as they kiss, lips searching and tongues stroking and licking into each other's mouths. He lets his fingers ghost over the expanse of Kurt's chest, admiring the contrast between the pale skin of Kurt's stomach and that of his own tanned hands, and he can't suppress a smug smile at Kurt's hiss when he lets his thumbs stroke over the other man's nipples.

"Now who's teasing?" Kurt asks, a little breathless. The mischief and desperationin his voice goes straight to Blaine's cock, and Blaine knows he won't be able to last much longer.

As if Kurt has read his mind he rolls down his hips, and Blaine gasps once again at the friction that sends shivers down his spine, at the sight of Kurt throwing back his head, emitting a low growl of pleasure that makes the hairs on Blaine's neck stand up.

"Kurt… fuck!" he groans and Kurt laughs, actually laughs as he looks down at Blaine, his hair ruffled in the most delightful, sexy way, his eyes sparkling with joy, and Blaine knows he'll never forget this image of Kurt - happy and blissful and completely carefree as he rolls down his hips once more, grin widening even further at the moan it elicits from Blaine.

"Not today," Kurt whispers playfully, shaking his head a little. It sounds less like a dismissal and more like a promise though, and Blaine swallows thickly when the meaning behind the words hits him. Because not only has Kurt already gone above and beyond what Blaine had wanted or even hoped for - he's telling him there is even more to come. And it's all Blaine can do to just nod, heart clenching at the spark of relief in Kurt's eyes when he confirms: "Not today."

He lifts his head and Kurt meets him halfway, using his whole body to press Blaine down against the mattress, and Blaine revels in the feeling of Kurt, in the weight of him against his mouth, his chest, his stomach, his cock, as they grind against each other in a slow, tantalizing rhythm that quickly picks up. It sends Blaine's arousal to peak even sharper than before, and he doesn't even have the time to warn Kurt before his orgasm washes over him and rushes through his body, and through the blissful haze he barely even notices how Kurt grinds down against him just a little longer before he collapses on top of Blaine, shaking and panting from the force of his own orgasm.

Blaine holds Kurt as he lets himself come down from his high, heart still racing in his chest, and he can't remember ever feeling this happy. It's not the sex, or at least - not just the sex, although even now, mere minutes after, Blaine can already feel his cock twitch at the thought of getting to do that again - and again - and again.

And so it is sex, but it's also finally being able to open up to someone, it's allowing someone to enjoy his body and being allowed to enjoy theirs in return, it's knowing that this wasn't a mistake, that they were both in this completely and voluntarily, and most of all it's that someone being Kurt. Kurt who he thought he might have lost forever when they woke up in this very same room barely six months earlier and Kurt who had fought, teeth and claws, to get them back to this point, and Blaine promises himself he will not ever forget this feeling, will not ever take Kurt, or what they have, for granted.

"Why are you crying?" Kurt whispers, and it's only now that Blaine registers the wetness on his cheeks, and he's not sure what to say when he looks down at Kurt, snuggled against his side, worry in his eyes. Because how do you explain to someone that a dream you had for almost three years, a dream you thought you'd destroyed single-handedly, has finally come true? How do you tell them that reality has turned out to be even better than you had ever imagined it?

"Us," he says finally, wiping at his cheek. "This. Everything."

Kurt doesn't reply but reaches up instead, pressing a soft kiss against Blaine's lips.

"I love you," he whispers, and Blaine's not sure how his body doesn't explode having those three little words stacked on top of everything else that has happened in the past two days.

"And I love you," he whispers back, nuzzling against Kurt's hair, "I will always love you."