The third week in September, Blaine’s guilt almost broke him.

His phone was on silent while he attended his music lesson, so he was surprised to find four missed calls when he checked it on the way back to his room.  His surprise turned to fear when he found them all to be from Kurt, only minutes apart.

He called Kurt immediately and it barely had a chance to ring before he heard a desperate voice on the other end of the line.  “Blaine?”

“Kurt!  What happened?”

He heard sniffling and it sounded like Kurt started to talk several times but stopped himself.

“Kurt, please tell me what’s wrong.”

“He kissed me…”

It was barely a whisper and Blaine thought he misheard.  “What?”

“Karofsky.  He… kissed me.”

“Tell me exactly what happened.”

“I just wanted him to stop pushing me around.  You and I had been talking lately about not letting those Neanderthals ruin my senior year and I just wanted to…  I…”  Kurt’s breathing got quicker.

“It’s okay, Kurt.  You just wanted to what?”

“I wanted to tell him to leave me alone so after he pushed me today I ran after him and yelled at him everything I’ve been bottling up.  And then he grabbed me and I was so surprised and I wasn’t angry anymore but I was so, so scared.”

Kurt sounded like he was going to hyperventilate.

“Listen, shh, come on, take a deep breath.  You’re home now, right?  Kurt?  You’re safe?”

“Yes.”

“Did you tell a teacher?  Or your dad?”

“No!  I can’t!”

“Kurt, somebody has to get involved.  This is more than just pushing and slushies.”

“I know.  I just can’t.  Please, Blaine.  Don’t tell anyone.”

“I’m going to find a way to get back there.  I’ll tell my aunt it’s an emergency.”

“No, Blaine, stop…”

“I can be there in a few hours.  And everything will be ok.”  Blaine didn’t realize it, but he’d been pacing.  Roxy’s worried whimper made him stop.

“Please, Blaine.  I just needed to hear your voice.  You can’t come here now.  You have to stay there.”

“I want to be there for you.”

“You are though.  Just stay on the line.  Talk to me.”

“Kurt…”

“Please.”

“Promise me you’ll stay with someone at school.  Don’t be alone with him again.”

“I promise, Blaine.  I’ll tell the glee guys that the jocks are getting pushier and ask them to walk me to class.  I’ll be okay, I just needed to hear your voice.  Now tell me about your music lesson.”

Blaine sighed and fell on the bed.  He didn’t want to think about music or school or anything other than being with Kurt.  As hard as Blaine’s life was, he never felt threatened.  He was surrounded by safety and people that were there to protect him.  Kurt had no one - everyone too consumed in their own drama to notice what was happening to him.

He’d told Kurt to stand up for himself.  Courage.  And look what happened.

He had to get home soon.

….

It had been a rough couple of weeks.  Karofsky hadn’t touched him or talked to him since the kiss.  Instead, he glared at Kurt from down the hallway.  He stared at Kurt in the one class they shared.  It was so unnerving that Kurt almost wished Karofsky would shove him into a locker.  Kurt knew how to deal with that.  This was new.  And scary.

His friends noticed the change in his behavior.  He’d practically plastered himself to one of the guys anytime he saw a red jacket.  Sam asked if it was because of the bullying and Kurt just nodded, not wanting to give any details.  They walked him to class, checked in on him, did what they could.

After Kurt’s frantic call to Blaine, their communication became a consistent comfort to get through the day.  Blaine text him between classes, called him when he knew Kurt got out of school, Skyped every night.  It seemed like they both needed it – too many weeks having passed since they last saw each other.

Kurt had high hopes that Blaine would come home the weekend of his birthday, but Blaine told him he had something already scheduled that day.  Their fall recital was that Saturday and Blaine apologized a hundred times that he couldn’t get out of it.  Kurt held a small glimmer of hope that it was a ruse and Blaine would actually surprise him.  That fizzled when he went on the school’s website and saw the event page with Blaine’s name clear as day on the list of performers. 

It was okay though – a dozen lilies had arrived that morning with a note from Blaine that simply said ‘I love you.’  They exchanged a few texts throughout the day, but Kurt knew Blaine was nervous and focused on the recital.  He wished him luck and they agreed to talk that night.

So sitting in Rachel’s basement with his glee friends was not exactly his first choice for how to spend his birthday.  It wasn’t even his second choice (hello facials and movie night with the girls!), but he was determined to have fun nonetheless.

He ate some appallingly unhealthy food and sipped on the same wine cooler for an hour.

“Where’s Puck?  I thought he’d be first in line to an unchaperoned opportunity to drink.”

Mercedes just smiled big and goofy at him.  How much has she had to drink?  “He’s going to get the good stuff.  You know he won’t drink these pink drinks.”

And as if on queue, Kurt heard Puck laughing and talking at the top of the stairs.

“Alright, Hummel.  Time for your present.”

“Puck, I can assure you that whatever cheap liquor you talked someone into buying you does not constitute a proper gift.  I would much prefer you get me—“ A pause, he blinked a few times trying to clear his head and speak again.  “Blaine.”

“Yes, that is exactly what I got you.”  Puck chuckled as he led the curly haired boy down the stairs slowly.

Kurt’s brain had malfunctioned.  He was 99% certain he only had one wine cooler, but this still wasn’t making sense.  “Blaine?”

“Surprise?”

He launched himself at Blaine, nearly knocking the boy over as we wrapped around him.  Kurt buried his head in Blaine’s neck and breathed the boy in.  He pulled back after a minute, a confused look still on his face.

“I don’t understand.  How are you here?”

“Puck came and picked me up.  We left right after my recital ended.  And I obviously couldn’t see the speedometer, but I’m fairly certain he drove like a bat out of hell since we got here so quickly.”

Kurt turned to Puck who was beaming like Blaine’s comment was a compliment.  “You drove all the way to Columbus?”

“Yah, dude.  It’s your birthday and Blaine really wanted to be here.”

Rachel was practically squirming trying to suppress her elation.  “You’ve been so down lately that we all wanted it to be a surprise.”

The surge of warm fuzzies he felt for his friends in that moment almost made him cry.  Kurt turned back to Blaine.  “Best surprise ever.”

He kissed Blaine softly, wrapping his arms back around him.

“And now is when we get drunk,” Finn chimed in.  “Seriously, stop making out, this is weird.”

Finn and Puck started taking bottles out of bags, clinking them together as they set them on the counter.  Kurt was too busy holding on to Blaine and trying to recover from his shock to pay anyone else much mind.

Mike cranked the music back up and everyone grabbed drinks.

“Are you drinking tonight, birthday boy?”  Blaine whispered it into his ear and Kurt was surprised how those seemingly innocent words were turning him on.

“No.  I want to remember every second of you being here.  Unimpaired.”

Blaine smiled and kissed him again.  This birthday was turning out to be pretty great after all.

….

They cuddled and kissed casually on the couch most of the night.  Puck gave them a hard time about not drinking (you’re supposed to get trashed on your birthday, man!), but for the most part everyone knew that they just wanted to be together.

Rachel cranked out the karaoke machine and both boys cringed at the onslaught of bad 80s songs.

“I should sing you a song for your birthday.”

Kurt whined and pulled him closer.  “But that would take you away and I want you right here.”

Blaine couldn’t argue with that. 

After half a dozen songs (almost all sung by Rachel) and the truly tragic game of spin the bottle that they sat on the sidelines for, Kurt stood and grabbed for Blaine’s hand.

“Rachel, my dad already knows I’m crashing here tonight, but I’m assuming it’s okay if Blaine stays also?”

“Of course.”  Her words were slurred and she giggled as she tried to sit up.  “You can sleep in the blue guest room.”

“Thanks.  I think we’re going to turn in since it looks like the majority of you are either already passed out or on your way to being there soon.  See you in the morning.”

There was a chorus of happy birthday wishes and catcalls as they walked to the stairs.  Before they’d even gotten halfway up, Rachel yelled after them.

“No sex!  My dads aren’t here, but no sex!  Sleep only.”

“Don’t be a cockblock, midget.”

Blaine grinned at Santana’s comment.

….

Blaine grabbed his bag from the top of the stairs and Kurt went to get his from Rachel’s room before they headed down the hall to the guest room.

They both got ready for bed and Blaine retreated back into the bedroom (his nightly routine much shorter than Kurt’s).  Kurt stared at himself in the mirror as he rubbed the cream into his face.  He realized that he was nervous.

They’d become more comfortable talking about sex lately.  Not that they made it a regular topic of conversation, but there was a level of comfort between them now that allowed them to be more open.  They both agreed to wait on having penetrative sex.  Kurt had turned ten shades of red during that particular conversation.  There had been discussion about what they liked most that they’d already done and what else they wanted to try.  Thinking of these conversations, Kurt suddenly wondered what was going to happen when he walked out of the bathroom.  They hadn’t been around each other in weeks and had now spent an entire evening making out on the couch, which had kept Kurt half hard the whole night.

Kurt washed his hands, took a deep breath, and switched the bathroom light off as he walked out.  Blaine was stretched on the bed wearing nothing but a pair of sweats that hung low on his hips, the soft bedside lamp casting just the right shadows across his body.  Kurt looked down at his own pajamas – a very nice burgundy silk top and pants set.  He had never felt more overdressed in his life.  He had also never felt so apprehensive to be less dressed.

“Come here.”  Blaine was reaching out in his direction and Kurt walked forward without a second thought.

….

Blaine felt like he’d been laying there forever.  Just when he started to get self-conscious, he heard Kurt turn off the bathroom light and quickly called him over to the bed.  They lay side-by-side in the bed, kissing lazily while Blaine drew random patterns with his fingers against Kurt’s soft pajamas.

“Will you take this off?”  He plucked at the buttons of Kurt’s pajama top.

He felt Kurt nod against him and then pull away slightly to comply.  When he pressed back in, Blaine sighed at the feel of skin on skin.  He rested his head in the crook of Kurt’s neck and traced feather light touches over Kurt’s arms and back.

“You’re lucky I’m not ticklish.”

“So soft.”  Blaine pulled him closer, light touches becoming more solid.  “Kurt, can I…  I want to touch you.  I want to see you.”

“Like the face thing?”

“Like the face thing.”

“Okay.”  Kurt rolled slightly so he was laying flat on his back.  The bed dipped as Kurt rustled about and when Blaine reached out to touch Kurt’s thigh he groaned.  Kurt had removed his pajama pants, exposing more skin to Blaine, and leaving himself in just his underwear.

Blaine began kissing Kurt like he was on a mission, pressing Kurt into the mattress as he leaned into him.  The kisses slowly got lighter and eventually Blaine pulled back.

“Close your eyes.”

“Why?”

“Because I just want you to feel everything I’m about to do to you.”

“What are you about to do to me?”

Blaine chuckled.  “I’m keeping my pants on, don’t worry.  You can tell me to stop at any time.”

Kurt reached out and caressed Blaine’s cheek.  “I never worry with you.”

“I want to touch you everywhere, Kurt.  Everywhere.”

There was a long pause, the bass from downstairs faintly reverberating through the walls.

“Yes.  Yes, okay, yes.”

Blaine smiled and kissed his lips again.  “Now close your eyes.”

Kurt took a deep breath and relaxed back into the pillow.

Blaine started kissing along his jaw, nipping at his earlobe, and then licking a line down Kurt’s neck.  He sat up, straddling Kurt’s hips, and began tracing a line from each wrist up to his shoulders.  Blaine flattened his palms as he rubbed over Kurt’s collarbones, down over his chest, and making a circle to sweep over each nipple.  He felt the body below him arch slightly and Kurt let out a soft gasp.

Blaine’s hands rested on Kurt’s chest.  “Your heart is beating so fast.  Can you feel it?”

“Yes,” Kurt whispered.  “All your fault.”

Blaine grinned and began moving his hands again.  He smoothed his hands along Kurt’s side, feeling the muscle and ribs there.  It occurred to him then that Kurt had lost weight, but it wasn’t the time to comment on it.  His hands moved back to the center of Kurt’s chest and then slowly began traveling down.  He skimmed lightly over his belly button and then rubbed gently at his hips.  Every place he touched elicited a new sound from Kurt. 

Blaine lifted one of his legs and then settled it between Kurt’s.  Hesitantly, Kurt bent his knees and spread his legs further allowing Blaine to kneel between them.  Blaine grabbed both of Kurt’s ankles and then ran his hands up the calves and to his thighs.  He massaged Kurt’s thighs gently and then let his hands drift down the back side of his legs.  His hands moved back up to Kurt’s sides, making a figure eight of touch.

“Your skin is so soft.”

“Proper, ah, moisturizing.”

Blaine’s thumbs stroked casually against the sensitive skin where it met Kurt’s underwear. One finger dipped just barely under the elastic causing Kurt to exhale sharply.

“Is this okay?”

“Uh huh.”

“Use your words, Kurt,” he teased.

“Jokes in bed – not a good idea, Blaine.”

“Trying to relieve some tension.”

“Blaine Anderson.  Did you just make a sex pun?”

They both laughed, but Blaine could feel Kurt’s body relax underneath him - his thumbs never ceasing their tender movement on Kurt’s skin.

“Kurt?”  Serious now.

The sound of Kurt’s quickened breathing below him was driving Blaine crazy.  He counted to thirty-two in his head before Kurt finally took a deep breath and answered.

“Yes, god, please take them off.”

Blaine rolled to the side as he hooked his thumbs underneath the waistband and slowly pulling Kurt’s underwear off.  He resituated himself back between Kurt’s legs and they both moaned as Blaine lay over him to press kisses to his chest.  Blaine lay still for a few moments, feeling Kurt hard against his stomach.  Blaine placed wet kisses across his chest until his lips found a nipple and swirled his tongue around it.

“Oh my god.”

He lifted his body up, hovering just over the warm body below him.

Kurt let out a whine at the lack of touch.

“Shh, just let me.”

Blaine slowly began to move down Kurt’s stomach, lips barely grazing the skin, his hot breathe being radiated back off the body.  He could feel the fine hair on Kurt’s skin, feel the goosebumps that blossomed after his warm breath had left.

He’d never touched someone like this.  Never mapped the valleys and peaks of a body.  In that moment, he felt like he was touching something precious. Someone precious.  Touching Kurt was absolutely intoxicating.

Blaine moved further down the bed, still only touching Kurt with his lips.  He peppered the skin with kisses, dragging his mouth lower and lower, letting his lips catch on the smooth skin.

He licked across Kurt’s hipbone and felt the boy writhe below him.  One arm hooked under Kurt’s leg, bending the knee and spreading Kurt open.  Blaine kissed and licked along Kurt’s inner thigh until he reached where leg met cheek.  He nipped softly at the sensitive skin, barely scraping his teeth in a soft bite, and then kissing the same area.  He let go of the leg and it dropped less than gracefully to the bed.

Blaine couldn’t believe how amazing Kurt felt.  He was soft and lean and toned.  And he smelled incredible – a subtle sweetness and saltiness mixing together.  Body wash and sweat.

Blaine began sucking a mark into Kurt’s hip, letting himself rut into the bed slowly.  The way Kurt was constantly making little sounds was such a turn on.

“Blaine…”

“Can I?”

“Yes, yes, yes.  Please.”

Blaine pulled himself forward slightly, his chin bumping into Kurt’s erection, a small wet spot left behind.  His first thought was to laugh and make a joke about Kurt’s dick possibly ‘poking an eye out,’ but then realized what was about to happen and thought better of adding in his blind humor.

He reached forward and grabbed Kurt’s cock, gripping it and stroking it a few times.  It was different – it felt solid in his hand and the angle was weird.  He leaned down and licked across the tip and Kurt arched and moaned lower than Blaine’s ever heard.

“Don’t stop.”

Blaine sucked experimentally at the head and then slowly eased further down taking more into his mouth.  Kurt was whimpering beautifully which only encouraged Blaine to continue.  He grabbed onto Kurt’s waist as he found a rhythm and moved his head up and down slowly.  His hands touched every place he could reach, rubbing along Kurt’s sides and chest and arms.  Kurt was bucking up slightly and mewling with each move Blaine made.

He drew his hands back down over Kurt’s hips and then to the coarse hair around his cock.  His fingers traced lower, fondling his balls, feeling their weight in his hand.

“Nngh, yesssss.”

Blaine alternated between sucking the tip of Kurt’s cock and tracing the veins with his tongue.  It felt hot and heavy in his mouth and the thought made Blaine moan.  He took Kurt into his mouth as far as he could and then reached down to spread Kurt’s cheeks.  When he ran his thumb lightly against the puckered entrance, Kurt reached his hand up to grab Blaine’s hair and pulled hard.  That’s all it took to make Blaine come into his sweatpants, Kurt bucking up and coming soon after.  As Kurt fell back to the bed, Blaine did his best to swallow, and pulled off Kurt with a lewd pop.

The only sound filling the room was their harsh breathing.  Blaine crawled up next to Kurt on the pillows.

Blaine coughed a few times to clear his throat.  “Was that okay?”

“S’fine.  Amazing.  Fuck.  Love you so much.”  Kurt sounded absolutely wrecked.  Blaine had very rarely heard him cuss before.  An arm reached out and grabbed Blaine’s shoulder and he felt Kurt starting to sit up.  “Now you.”

“No, I, uh… that was amazing for me also as is evidenced by my wet pants.”

Kurt giggled and kissed Blaine’s shoulder.  “Im’a be the ‘lil spoon.”

Kurt turned over and pressed back into Blaine.  The stickiness in Blaine’s pants was not how he wanted to go to sleep, but he couldn’t make himself move away from Kurt.  He pulled the covers up over them and wrapped an arm over Kurt.

“I love you.”

“Loveyoutoo.”  Kurt sounded like he was already half asleep.  A few minutes passed and then Kurt tensed.  “Where’s Roxy?”

“We’ve really gotta work on acceptable post-orgasm conversation topics.  Family and animals are banned.”

“Sex puns, too.”

“No promises.”

“So, where’s Roxy?”

Blaine smiled.  “A friend is taking care of her.”

“You’ll leave me tomorrow?”  The way Kurt said it made Blaine’s heart sink just a little.  There was no choice to stay or leave.

“Yah, Puck’s going to drive me back after lunch.”

Kurt made a disappointed noise and drew Blaine’s arm tighter around his body.  “So glad you’re here.”

“Me too, baby.  Happy birthday.”

“Hmm.”

With Kurt’s body so warm and close against his, he smiled and started to sing softly.

All of my life, yes all of my life

I’ve waited, waited, waited, waited for you

I dreamed and dreamed and thought and schemed

For someone, someone, someone like you

Now that you’re here, please my dear

Don’t ever, ever, ever, ever go

All of my life, yes all of my life

I’ve dreamed and I’ve longed for you so…

“Beautiful,” Kurt mumbled.

Blaine kissed his shoulder.  “Very.”

….

He’d been awake for a short time just watching Blaine.  That night, Kurt discovered that Blaine talked in his sleep.  He never said anything embarrassing, just seemingly random words and phrases.  It was adorable.

Blaine startled suddenly, reaching out and running his hand along Kurt’s chest and arm before finding his hand.

Kurt reflexively pulled the sheet up to cover himself.

“Good morning.”

“Mmm, it is now that I’m awake and cuddling with you.”

“You were dreaming.”

“Hmm.”

“Do you remember?”

Blaine pulled Kurt closer, burying his face in Kurt’s neck.  “I think I was flying.”

Kurt giggled.  “Like Superman?”

“Mmhmm.”

They snuggled together for a few minutes in silence, the gears of curiosity turning in Kurt’s head.  “What are your dreams like?”

“Hmm?”

“Your dreams.  Are they… I mean, do you see?  Or is it just darkness?”

Blaine pulled back slightly to rest his head back on the pillow.  “Strange questions for the morning.”

“You’re just very expressive when you sleep.  I was curious.”

“It’s hard to explain.”  Blaine rubbed his hand over his face and stretched.  “It’s not darkness.  I incorporate visual things that I remember from when I was a kid.  But it’s like things are sometimes blurred together.  There are gaps in my visual memory, so in my dreams, things that I’ve never seen before can be hazy.”

“What do you dream about?”

“Probably the same things you do.  People I know, things I’ve done.  Some good dreams, some bad.  And apparently when I’m especially happy, I dream about flying.”

Kurt couldn’t help but smile.  “Am I in your good dreams?”

“You do make quite a view appearances.”

“What do I look like in your dreams?”

Blaine hesitated, thinking through his answer.  “You look like a person with some of the basics that I can add in – brown hair, pale skin.  I can never exactly see your face though.  It’s blurry because I guess my mind doesn’t know quite what to see.”

“If my face is blurry, how do you know it’s me?”

“Because of how you make me feel.  No matter what you look like in my dream, I always get butterflies in my stomach and a lump in my throat.”

Kurt played idly with a patch of Blaine’s chest hair he’d just noticed.  “What about the bad dreams?”

“Mostly what you would expect – scary things, losing people, being alone.  I sometimes still dream about the car accident.”  He sighed and shrugged one shoulder.  “But those aren’t the worst.  Sometimes, I have dreams that are so real.  I’ll just be doing normal everyday stuff.  But I can see clear as day and sometimes my mom is there and she just looks so vibrant.  And then I wake up and it takes a minute for reality to hit.  On those days, it takes everything in me to get out of bed.”

Kurt saw the pain in Blaine’s eyes and touched his cheek lightly.  “I’m sorry I brought it up.”

The pain flickered away, replaced with a reluctant smile.  “Don’t be.  Sometimes it’s nice to be able to tell someone stuff like this.  And how often do I get to wake up next to my beautiful boyfriend?”

Kurt was the master of deflection, but he didn’t want to pry anymore.  Kurt leaned forward and kissed him softly.  “It’s still early.  Let’s stay in bed.”

….

Blaine held Kurt tightly against him, but it still wasn’t close enough.  He couldn’t believe all of the emotions that this boy made him feel.  Blaine focused on the happiness and pushed his worry and fear and doubt away in that moment.  For the first time in his life, he felt completely open and exposed to someone and it was both the best and the worst thing.  He just had to place his trust in Kurt and know (hope) that he was doing the right thing.

His hands ran the length of Kurt’s arm and back, feeling the smooth skin as the boy dozed against him.  Blaine had too much on his mind to fall back to sleep so he lay there quietly until Kurt stirred again.

“Mmm, still don’t wanna get up.”

Kurt nuzzled into Blaine’s chest for a minute before reaching down and pulling the sheet up tight around him again.

“Why do you do that?”

“Do what?”

“Try to cover yourself up when it’s just me.”

“Habit, I guess.  Nobody wants to see that.”

Blaine chuckled and moved to pull the sheet back down so he could continue running his hands along Kurt’s back.

“Blaaaaine,” Kurt whined, but didn’t grab for the sheet again.

“I wish you could see how beautiful you are.”

“That’s easy for you to say since you can’t actually see me.”  Kurt cringed against Blaine’s chest.  “Sorry, you know what I mean.”

“Don’t apologize.  I know what you meant and I still think you’re stunning.  I wish you could see yourself the way I do.”

“And how’s that?”

“You’re exquisite.  Every dip and curve and line of you is breathtaking.  Just because I don’t have sight doesn’t mean that I can’t see how completely striking you are.”

Blaine felt Kurt’s face try to hide away against his side.

“I see everything I need to see, I just use my other senses to do it.  I know you’re blushing because of the warmth of your cheek.  I know when you have your mouth open and head thrown back in pleasure by the way you let out these little stuttered breaths.  I can feel your heartbeat and how it quickens when I touch you.  And I know that you still don’t believe me because of the nervous tension running through your body right now.  You’re not used to compliments.”

“I’ve never had someone… see me like that before.”

“Such a shame.”  Blaine nudged Kurt up until he pressed their lips together in a slow, languid kiss.  When he settled back down, Blaine could feel Kurt’s smile against his skin.

Blaine knew they would have to get up soon.  As much as he wanted to stay in that moment, he knew that life must continue on.  Blaine didn’t want to leave for countless reasons.

“Kurt?”

“Yes?”

“Are you safe?”

Blaine felt Kurt tense for a few seconds and then force himself to relax.  “I think so.”

“Nothing else has happened?”

“No.  The guys are being really good about flanking me in the halls.”

“You would tell me if something was wrong or something else happened, right?”

“Of course.  You shouldn’t worry so much about me.”

“Can’t help it.”

Blaine kissed his forehead and got out of bed.

….

The visit was too short, but worth it.  That night, back in his dorm room, Blaine dreamt of flying again.

….