“There are three sides to every story. Mine, yours, and the truth.” – Joseph Massino

He’s scared, pacing, on the edge of a panic attack.

A thousand things could go wrong in this moment.

Why did he even allow this?

Kurt wants the ground to open up and swallow him whole.

That morning, he shook the entire way to the hospital, stumbled over his own feet walking down the hall, and tripped into his dad’s room.  He was so nervous that he practically yelled ‘TA-DA!’ with the way his voice went so high and his arms swept to the side where Blaine stood.  It’s no wonder his father told him to leave.

Well, maybe it was more like a polite request to speak with Blaine alone.

So, here Kurt was in the hallway, practically wearing a path into the floor with his marching back and forth.  He left his very frail father alone in a room with a murderer.  That thought did nothing to calm him.  The door pulled open seconds before Kurt decided he would barge in.

Blaine gave him a tight smile and held the door open for him to enter the room.

“You guys have a nice chat?”  He looked over his father anxiously and then back to Blaine.

“Would you calm down, kid?  I didn’t threaten him with my shotgun or anything.”

Kurt blanched.  To his side, he heard Blaine let out a little chuckle.

“Seriously.  He been this uptight the whole time I’ve been in here?”

“No, sir.  I think he’s just exhausted.”  Blaine walked closer to Kurt and rubbed lightly at the back of his neck.

Kurt was still tense, expression frozen into a confused grimace.

“Well, get on outta here then.  Take care of my boy.”

“But…”  Kurt gaped at his dad, suddenly feeling like he missed something important.  “I didn’t even get to visit with you today.”

“Kurt, you’re gonna have more than enough time with me when I get outta here in a couple weeks.  They’ve got me up to twice a day on PT.  Say I’m coming along.”

“That’s great, dad.”

“So go.  You can come back tomorrow.”

Blaine grabs his hand and Kurt follows.  “Bye dad.”

“Nice to meet you Mr. Hummel.”

“Burt!”

“Of course.  Burt.”

“You kids do something fun for me.  Or eat something really good unlike this crap they serve here.”

Kurt smiles and shakes his head as they walk into the hallway.

He’s actually surprised at his restraint as he waits until they’re in the car before he interrogates Blaine.

“So?”

“So… what?”  Blaine gives him a coy smile and Kurt wants to smack it off his face.

“What did you talk about?”

“Oh, you know.  A little of this, a little of that.  Who knew he was such a college football fan?”

“I did!  And you’re purposely torturing me, aren’t you?”

Blaine drops the act and brushes his knuckles against Kurt’s cheek.  “He wanted to thank me for paying for everything and just get to know me.”

“Oh god, what did you tell him?”

“I gave him the basics, minus the illegal details.  If I had told him the truth, he definitely would’ve threatened me with his shotgun.”

Kurt knows that Blaine is trying to lighten the mood, but he’s been on edge for too long and he just feels fried.  He doesn’t fight it when Blaine pulls him close, but he doesn’t relax either.

Kurt’s walking a tightrope and running out of stamina.  He has to keep Blaine happy to finish getting his father well, but he has to keep his father separate from Blaine.  The uncertainty of exactly what was said between the two men keeps the crazy scenarios running on a loop in his head.

“You’re thinking too much.”

“Lots to think about.”

“Well, let’s do something to distract you.  Tell me something that you’ve always wanted to do, but never have.”

“What?  I don’t want to do anything, Blaine.”

“Come on.  Something a little crazy – skydiving… or we could fly to Vegas!”

“You know I hate heights and we can’t just fly somewhere.  I have to be here for my dad.”

“Okay, fine.  What about that racing school Cooper was talking about at Thanksgiving?  There’s a dragstrip and a Nascar track.”

“I don’t want to race cars.”

“So, what?  You don’t want to do anything with me?”

“It’s not that.  You just…  you don’t have to try so hard.  I don’t want to do crazy things.  I want to do normal things.  Like that first night when you took me to the theater and dinner.”

“We do normal things all the time.”

“I like normal things.”

Blaine’s shoulder shrugs slightly under where Kurt’s head is rested.  “Is stopping for lunch normal enough for you?”

He pulls away to look up at Blaine and is met with a smile.  “Lunch would be nice.”

His head finds its way back to Blaine’s shoulder and all Kurt can think is ‘keep him happy.’  A little more time and his dad would be strong enough. 

Just a little more time.

***

The days pass much slower now.  Kurt can’t fall back into losing time – losing himself.  He ticks the days off one by one in his head.

Blaine is different now.  It’s like he can’t stop touching Kurt.  Always loving, always tender.  Sometimes Kurt will watch him sleep, the slow rise and fall of his chest.  In the moonlight, Kurt can almost imagine that things are different.  Blaine’s just a guy he met in college and this is their first apartment together.  They’re happy. 

Sometimes he catches Blaine watching him with a far off look in his eyes and he thinks Blaine might be imagining it too.  Blaine always looks sad when Kurt meets his eyes, drawing him back to reality.  Maybe because he knows things are coming to an end.

Blaine is especially clingy today, kissing and holding and molding himself to Kurt for hours.  They do this more now – just being together, being close.  It feels very domestic.

It’s been days since they’ve had sex – an unexpected but not unwanted break.  But now, Kurt can tell the moment Blaine’s soft caresses start meaning more than cuddling.  He always opens up, letting Blaine kiss and lick and take what he needs.  Kurt is nothing if not pliant.

They’re practically wrapped up in one another and Kurt can feel Blaine’s hardness against his hip.

“God, you’re so perfect.  So good to me.  Always so good.”

Blaine ruts against him, hard and steady and Kurt holds him close, kissing down his neck.  All it takes is a bite just below his ear and Blaine stills next to him, coming hard.

Kurt’s tired – he’s not hard and he doesn’t want to get off.  So, he pulls Blaine close, still breathing hard, and closes his eyes to sleep.  He’s almost there when he feels Blaine start peppering kisses on his face and neck.  Kurt’s annoyed and he wants to tell Blaine to knock it off, but he won’t.  When Blaine is like this – clingy and needy – Kurt gets no reprieve.  He feels smothered.

“You always give me just what I want.”

Kurt keeps his eyes closed and hopes Blaine will take the hint.  He never does.

“Want to give you everything.”

“Blaine, can we sleep?  I’m exhausted.”

“I’ll give you anything.”

“Okay, give me a nap.”

“No, be serious, Kurt.  Tell me you want to be with me.”

Kurt bites his tongue, closing his eyes tighter like that will somehow help.

The silence is agony.

“Kurt.  Tell me you’ll stay with me.”

The fatigue combined with his annoyance and the knowledge that his father will soon be home lead Kurt to give Blaine the truth.

“I can’t…  I want to go home.”

Immediately, he can feel Blaine’s body go rigid. 

Blaine lets out a resigned sigh and shakes his head against Kurt’s shoulder.

“No, that’s not what you want.  You’ll be happy here.”

“Please, Blaine.  My father is going home in a couple days and even after that our three months will be up just a few days later.   Let me go now.”

Blaine pushes himself up off the couch and grabs the glass bowl off the coffee table, throwing it across the room where it shatters into a thousand pieces against the wall.  Kurt pulls his knees up, afraid of this side of Blaine that’s stayed locked away for so long.

“You ruined it!  Things were going so well.  I won’t let you go.  We just need more time.”

“More time won’t change anything.”

The noise draws Cooper out of his room.  He surveys the damage and then focuses on Blaine.  “What the hell is going on?”

Blaine’s fists are balled, knuckles white, and he’s breathing so hard through his nose that he looks like a bull.  He turns and starts to walk away, ignoring Cooper, and Kurt has the briefest moment of relief.  Then Blaine turns back and Kurt just closes his eyes, waiting to be hit or grabbed or whatever will quell Blaine’s rage.  Hands roughly cup his face causing him to open his eyes.  Blaine is close – so close.   He’s still breathing hard, but looks surprisingly calmer.

“No.  Say that you want to stay with me.”

Kurt shakes his head as much as he can with Blaine holding his face.

“God damnit, SAY IT!”

“I cant!”

“Fuck, Kurt.  I wish your father had never woken up!  We could be so happy.”

He releases his grasp on Kurt and pushes past Cooper, barreling out the front door in his dirty sweatpants and no shoes.

Cooper regards Kurt for a moment, still sitting on the couch and desperately holding the tears back.  They make the briefest of eye contact and then Cooper goes back to his bedroom.  When he reemerges a few minutes later, he’s dressed, and carrying a bag.

He doesn’t give Kurt a second look.

The door slams and Kurt cries himself to sleep.

***

When he’s shaken awake several hours later, he’s surprised.  Blaine looms over him in the darkness.

“You can’t sleep on the couch.   Come on.”

He takes Blaine’s hand – always takes his hand – and walks to the bedroom.  Blaine undresses him slowly, piece by piece until he’s left in his underwear.

When they crawl into bed, Blaine pulls him close – nothing else.  Kurt waits, and Blaine just stays spooned into him, warm breath on his neck.

“You’re not going home.”

And there it is.  Kurt is scared and he knows how easily Blaine could make him stay forever against his will.

“We have a deal.  You can go home when our deal is done.”

Kurt wants to turn and look at him.  He wants to see what emotion is playing on his face.  Blaine is the kind of guy that always gets what he wants and he made it clear earlier what that was.

There’s nothing Kurt can say in this moment that feels right. 

“Okay.”

He closes his eyes and hopes when the day comes, Blaine will let him go.

***

The smell of sweet coffee and a gentle kiss to the forward wake him up.  By the time his eyes are open, Blaine’s gone from the room and then with the shutting of the front door he is gone from the apartment.

The steaming cup on the bedside table is irresistible.  When he takes his first sip, he’s not surprised to see that Blaine’s made it just the way he likes it.  The thought makes him sad, but most things do lately.

He takes his time getting ready – soaking for far too long in the huge bath, styling his hair to perfection, and putting together his favorite outfit.

It’s not a surprise that the glass is cleaned up in the living room.  Kurt shakes his head and walks to the door.  Thad is waiting there – probably has been for some time thanks to Kurt’s failure to care about time.

It’s pouring down rain and Kurt’s thankful it’s not quite cold enough to freeze today.  The erratic pattern of drops against the car is somehow soothing.

Walking down the hospital halls, Kurt can’t help but beam at the people he passes. 

Tomorrow. 

His dad is leaving tomorrow.

“Mr. Hummel!”

Kurt looks over and smiles, but keeps walking.

“No, Mr. Hummel wait!  The doctor is examining your father and you’ll need to wait out here until he’s done.”

“Why?”

He was always suspicious of people, but this made no sense.  The doctor had examined his dad dozens of times with him in the room.  Then he started to get worried.

“Just… sit.  Please.  He’ll be out shortly.”

“Where’s Gail?”

“She’s not here today.”

“It’s not her day off.”

“She had a personal emergency.”

He sat in the chair outside his dad’s room, chewing on his lip due to nerves.  It startles him when the door opens.  The small glimpse he gets of his father puts him even more on edge.

“Why is my father back on oxygen?”

The doctor motions for him to sit back down, a serious look on his face.

“Mr. Hummel, I first just want you to understand that your father is fine now.”

“Fine now?  When was he not fine?”

“There was a mistake made with his medication and he was given more than his normal dose.  His blood pressure dropped very low as a result, but we immediately took action to counteract this.  He’s doing fine now – his blood pressure is stable and we’ve been closely monitoring him.”

“How in the hell did he get too much medication?”

“It was simple human error.  One of our new nurses—“

“Where’s the nurse?”

“We’ve sent her home, Mr. Hummel.  I assure you we’re following hospital procedure in dealing with this.”

“I don’t care about your assurances!”  Kurt is seething, but he lowers his voice.  “Could he have died from this?”

“That is a very, very extreme possibility.   Thankfully, another nurse walked in as the error was being made, so the situation was under control very quickly.  Had we not…”

The doctor keeps talking, his words sounding far away as Kurt eyes everyone nearby.  Blaine has connections here.  Cooper no doubt as well.  Their words rang heavy in his head.

‘I’ll make you hurt in other ways.’

‘I wish your father had never woken up!’

“Doctor.”  The man halts his speech immediately.  “Don’t you think it odd that the day before my father is set to be released, his primary nurse is suddenly out and some new nurse comes in and could have killed my father.”

“I think those are all very unfortunate coincidences.”

Kurt stares at the man.  He could be bought, too.  Everyone has their price.

“So will he still be released tomorrow?”

“I would like to continue to monitor him very closely and we can make the determination in the morning.”

“Then bring in a cot.  I’m not leaving this hospital until my father is released.”

“That’s not necessary, Mr—“

“I’m going to see my father now.  I want you to personally oversee any medications or care my father gets.  And if you’re lucky, I won’t talk to a lawyer.”

The doctor simply nods and moves aside for Kurt to go in.

His dad looks a little pale, but not too worse for wear.

As he sits down, his dad’s eyes flutter open.

“Hey kiddo.”

“Are you okay?”  Tears are already forming and he could curse his damn emotions.

“Listen, I’m fine.  It wasn’t that big of a deal.”

“Dad, you could’ve died.”

“I got a little dizzy and tingly in my arms and legs.  Reminded me of the good ol’ days.”

“Don’t joke.  This is serious!”

“I know.  But they hooked me up to all their fancy machines and I checked out okay.  I’m just tired now from all the excitement.  Stop worrying – don’t you know heart problems run in this family?”

Kurt gives his father a pointed look as he laughs at his own joke.

“Well, I’m setting up camp until they release you.”

“No you’re not.  I can stay another night or two by myself.”

“I’m not changing my mind on this, dad.  Just let me do this.”

They stare at each other for a minute before his dad nods.

Thad pokes his head in late afternoon – the signal that it was time to leave.  His eyes fall on the made-up cot and then back to Kurt.

“I’m not leaving.  You can come pick us up tomorrow to take us home.”

Kurt’s face is unwavering and Thad shuts the door as he leaves.

The doctor is in and out of the room more times than Kurt has ever seen.  His dad had regained his energy and the doctor said all of his vitals were stable.

Tomorrow his dad would be home in his comfy recliner and all would be well.  They’d set it up for his aunt to come stay for a couple weeks.  Not only could she be there with his dad for the last few days Kurt spent with Blaine, but she was also conveniently a nurse and could help take care of him.  Kurt wasn’t close with her at all and while Burt still spoke with her on holidays and birthdays, their relationship was very strained.  She had been quite vocal in the past about disagreeing with Kurt’s ‘life choices’ as an out and proud gay man.  But all differences were being put aside because they needed her and she desperately wanted to help.

When there’s a knock on the door that evening, Kurt had expected it, but he’s still somehow unprepared to see Blaine.

“Hi Mr—Burt.”

“Hey Blaine.  Why don’t you get my kid outta here?”

“That’s exactly why I’m here, sir.”

“I’m not leaving.”  He’s defiant – daring Blaine to challenge him.  “Dad, I’m not leaving until you do.”

“Fine, fine.  At least go get something to eat before the cafeteria closes.”

“No, I—“

“Damnit, Kurt.  I’ll be okay for fifteen minutes.”

He feels bad now having made his dad upset.  Blaine continues to stare at him with a blank expression.

“Fine.”  Kurt grabs his jacket and walks past Blaine.

“And sneak me some pie or something!”

Kurt doesn’t look back, just continues walking with purpose to the cafeteria. 

As he grabs a tray, he realizes he’s not hungry at all.  He should eat, but he can’t.  Blaine lingers in his peripheral vision.

“If we’re not going to eat, can we at least sit down?”

Kurt puts the tray back and walks to a table in the corner.

Before they’re even fully seated, Blaine is talking.

“Thad told me what happened with your father.”

Kurt glares at him.  “Did he?”

Blaine looks confused.  “I wish you’d been the one to tell me, but I know you were concerned with your father.”

“Don’t act like you care…”

“I do—“

“Well last night, you wished he never woke up at all!”

“I was angry.  But hurting him isn’t going to make you want to stay with me.”

Kurt watches.  Every facial tic, every expression.  Looking – searching.

“Then it was Cooper.”

“Why would Cooper do this?”

“He’s a sociopath, Blaine!  You’re blind to it because he’s your brother.”

“He’s done nothing but accept you when I brought you into this situation.”

“He threatened me.”  Blaine’s face immediately morphs into anger.  “When you stopped coming home last time.  He said to fix it or he would make me hurt.  And how convenient that this happens the day after he sees us fighting again!”

Blaine looks a mixture between mad and regretful.  Maybe he realizes that if his brother did do this, it was out of some misguided attempt to keep Blaine happy.  With Burt out of the way, did Cooper think Kurt would just run into Blaine’s arms? 

Kurt’s face drops.  That’s exactly what he did.  When Kurt thought his dad was never waking up, he completely gave into Blaine.

He was going to be sick.

“Whoa, hold on.”

Kurt’s legs are weak beneath him as he tries to stand, Blaine repositioning him back in the chair and crouching in front of him.

“If Cooper did this, I will handle it.  But you have to think that this really could’ve just been some stupid fuck up from some new employee.”

“I don’t think it was.”

“I know.”  He fiddles with Kurt’s hand, not making eye contact.  He looks almost… vulnerable.  “Did you really think I would kill your father?”

Kurt shuts his eyes because he can’t look at Blaine.  He doesn’t want to see the hurt on his face.  In truth, Kurt had thought that.  It wasn’t exactly a far fetch since Blaine had killed someone for just being close to Kurt.  But now, he thinks Blaine really did only say those hateful words because of the heightened emotion.

“I…”

Blaine takes a deep breath and stands up.

“Come on.  I’ll walk you back.”

They walk back to the room in silence.  He kisses Kurt lightly on the forehead and turns to walk briskly towards the exit.

Blaine has never been more of an enigma to him.

***

By the time he finally gets back to Blaine’s the following night, he is exhausted.

He couldn’t sleep at the hospital – too many noises, too many people, too many worries.  But the second his father got his discharge papers, Kurt was practically dancing a jig.

Knowing he would be coming back into the city that night, Kurt had arranged for Thad to drive them home.  It was awkward at first with his aunt at the house, but Kurt could see her genuine desire to do nothing but help.  Maybe she’d changed over the years.

The Johnsons from next door had surprised them all by setting up a small Christmas tree and decorations.  To Kurt it hadn’t really felt like the holiday season, but the look on his dad’s face was enough to get him at least thinking about it.

He always hated lying to his dad, but Kurt had to construct a plausible enough excuse to be away for the next several days.  It didn’t take much – a half-truth about Blaine making plans for them to get away.  They weren’t going anywhere, but he was sure Blaine had plans for these last days.  His dad really seemed to like Blaine.  Maybe because in his eyes, this was the man that took care of his son for so long; took care of him when Burt couldn’t.  Kurt left many gaps in their story and Burt undoubtedly filled those gaps with happiness.

So when his dad practically pushed him out the door, Kurt didn’t fight.  He swore he would check in a dozen times a day and be home on Christmas Eve.

Thad seemed to watch him more in the rearview mirror during the drive back.  Kurt wondered if Thad knew something he didn’t.  He felt unnerved the entire car ride.  But walking back into the apartment, Kurt sees Blaine sitting and waiting for him.  Without hesitation, Kurt goes to him, accepting the comforting embrace that’s given.

Kurt has no idea what to expect in these next few days.

The exhaustion is obvious and though he tries to give Blaine his attention, his body is fighting against him.

Blaine takes them to bed, content to draw patterns on Kurt’s back and soothe him to sleep.

It doesn’t take long.

***

He wakes up still wrapped up in Blaine’s arms.  The thought is nice, but the reality is he’s sweaty and they’re sticking together and it feels gross.  A sigh of relief escapes him as the cool air hits his overheated skin when he starts to separate himself from Blaine.  He doesn’t get far before arms are pulling him back.

“Staaaaaay.”  It’s whiny and endearing at the same time.

“I’m hot.  Going to jump in the shower.”

“We should stay in bed all day.”

“Whatever you want.  After a shower and food.”

“In that case, I’ll make breakfast while you shower.”  Blaine pushes the covers off and throws on a shirt.

Kurt laughs at the eagerness, watching Blaine stumble out of the bedroom. 

After a quick shower, he puts on some comfy clothes – apparently they were staying in today.

He makes his way to the kitchen and plops down unceremoniously at the kitchen table.  A still rumpled looking Blaine standing at the stove, concentrating hard on cooking.

“What’s on the menu this morning?”

“A fresh veggie omelet topped with some smoked gouda and a side of sliced berries.”

Kurt raises an eyebrow.  “You’ve been holding out on me.  Why do we eat out so often if you can cook such delicious things?”

“First, you haven’t tasted it yet.  And second, it’s turning into more of a vegetable scramble than an omelet.”

The laugh got stuck in Kurt’s throat as he saw Cooper round the corner and open the fridge.  Kurt could feel the eyes on him as Blaine looked back and forth between the two of them.  It’s not until a steaming plate of food is set before him that he snaps out of it, looking back to Blaine with wide eyes.

Blaine leans down and whispers in his ear.  “I talked to him.  He didn’t do it, Kurt.  I would know.”

He’s not sure if he believes that.  Blaine only gets to see certain parts of Cooper – there are sides Kurt is sure are kept hidden.

He can’t look at Cooper, so he grabs his fork and stares down at his plate.  When Cooper sits across from him with his cereal, Kurt wants to scream at him and demand answers.  Instead, he shovels a forkful of egg into his mouth and tries not to let anyone see his hand shake.

Kurt could see it so clearly in his head – Cooper using whatever means necessary to get some young girl to do his dirty work, make it look like an accident.  He probably did stuff like that all the time.

“…and Kurt are planning to stay in.  But thanks.”

Kurt looks to Blaine at the sound of his name.  Blaine is smiling, so he smiles back.

He looks back down to his plate and pushes more of it around.

“I’m sorry if it’s horrible.  There’s cereal and more fruit if you’d rather have that.”  Kurt starts to object – he didn’t taste the bite he took, so he’s not sure whether it’s good or not.  But Blaine is standing, kissing his forehead.  “I’m going to take a shower.”

Kurt stares until Blaine’s long gone from the kitchen.  He slowly shifts his eyes over to Cooper who is leering at him.

“Hey plaything.  How’s dad?”

A shiver runs through his body, fear and anger mingling beneath the surface.

“You…”

Cooper leans forward, elbows on the table.  “Did you want to ask me something?”

“Did you hurt my father?”

He smirks.  “Of course not.”

“Did you…  did you pay someone to do it?”

Cooper leans back, a blank expression on his face.  “Now why would I do that?”

“You saw us fighting... Y-you threatened me before.”

“You’re right, I did do that.”

“Are you trying to keep me here to be with Blaine?”

“I don’t even like you.  Why would I want you to stay?”

Kurt is shaking, fists clenched in his lap.  “Then why did you do it?”

“I didn’t do anything.”

“You’re lying.”

Cooper seems to be staring through him.  “I didn’t hurt your father.  I want you out of Blaine’s life and I’ll get my wish in a matter of days.”

Kurt’s hand smacks down on the table before he even realizes it’s moving.  “Stop lying!”

Cooper stands, leaning across the table, and towering over Kurt.  “If I wanted your father dead, he would be dead.  So don’t push me unless you really want to see what I’m capable of.”

Kurt recoils, wrings his hands together in his lap, and lets the words settle as Cooper leaves the room.

He still isn’t convinced, but he’s too afraid to press any further.

When Blaine returns, clean and still dripping, Kurt is still staring blankly at the table.

“Kurt?”

He looks up at the concerned face.  “How do you know he didn’t do it?”

Blaine’s brow furrows and he sits close to Kurt, loosening his fists and rubbing them slowly.  “I know my brother.  And he knows that I wouldn’t be happy if he hurt you which includes anything involving your father.”

“But you can’t be sure.”

“We may never know exactly what happened.  But I believe Cooper.”

Kurt nods an acknowledgment, not an agreement.  He doesn’t believe Cooper.  He also doesn’t have any proof to continue arguing.

Blaine watches him carefully, so Kurt makes himself eat most of his now cold breakfast.  He’ll do whatever he has to for these last days and then the Anderson brothers will be out of his life. 

He won’t look back.

***

Kurt didn’t think staying in for the day would mean mostly cuddling.  He’s perfectly okay with it, but Blaine like this confuses him.  It feels a little too much like they’re actually boyfriends.

They laze on the couch, dozing between episodes of cheesy reality TV.  He wakes to Blaine rubbing lightly over the swell of his ass.

“…so good for me.”

Kurt looks up to see Blaine’s eyes still closed and thinks he may still be asleep.

Blaine blinks his eyes open slowly as he reaches for Kurt’s hand, guiding it to rub his half-hard cock through his boxers.

Definitely not asleep.

Kurt rubs teasingly, watching Blaine the whole time.

When a hand slips under the waistband of his sweats, Kurt jolts slightly.  One finger dips down and brushes between his cheeks.  He closes his eyes and rests his forehead on Blaine’s chest.  His hand quickens where it’s now wrapped tightly around Blaine.

Blaine’s breath is hot on his ear as he leans forward.  “Hands and knees.  On the floor.”

His hand stops and he looks back up at Blaine.  It takes him a minute, but then he’s crawling off Blaine and lowering himself to the floor.  Blaine leaves the room, but returns quickly with the lube.

Kurt thinks this situation moved awfully fast from ‘cuddling boyfriends’ to ‘fucking on the floor.’  But he stays perfectly still, not questioning it.

There’s a bite to his left ass cheek and Kurt yelps.  Soft kisses soothe the same site as a wet finger teases at his hole.  As it pushes in, Kurt tenses – even as he repeatedly tells himself to relax like a mantra in his head.

Kurt’s barely adjusted to the first finger when a second pushes in.  The feeling triggers a memory of the first time Blaine fucked him.  It was too fast and too hard and he has to open his eyes wide to convince himself he’s not back in that moment.

The fingers pump and crook and stretch.  Kurt starts to feel sparks of pleasure as Blaine moves his fingers just right.

“Can you… more lube.”

He thinks he may be breathing so hard because he’s trying to stave off a panic attack, that night from months ago suddenly a fresh wound again.

When a third finger pushes in, stretching but not hurting, Kurt comes back to reality.  This is not that night.

Blaine pulls his fingers out, slicking himself up, and positioning himself against Kurt’s entrance.

Kurt keeps his eyes open, focusing.  As Blaine pushes forward, burying himself to the hilt inside, Kurt’s mouth falls open – gaping, no sound coming out.  Blaine pulls back quickly, only the thick head keeping Kurt open. 

“Wait.”  Kurt reaches a hand back to Blaine’s hip.

And this time, Blaine does.  He’s panting hard and rubbing small circles in Kurt’s hips.  A few more breaths and Kurt’s nodding his head and pushing himself back on Blaine.

A groan escapes Blaine and he starts thrusting.  Kurt moves his knees further apart, opening himself up, and then Blaine is pounding right into his prostate.  It takes him by surprise and then he can’t stop the string of moans matching the snap of Blaine’s hips.  He tries to put all of his weight on one hand to reach down and stroke himself.  Before he can even get the hand up, he’s coming hard onto the floor beneath him and squeezing tightly around Blaine.

The thrusts speed up and then Blaine’s coming inside him – the feeling still not one he’s comfortable with.  Blaine sags against him as they both come down until Kurt lets out a whine.

Blaine pulls back, cock slipping out, and leans against the couch.

“There’s come on the carpet.”

Kurt’s not sure why he says it, but looking down and thinking about how he came without even touching himself completely bewilders him.

Blaine starts to laugh and Kurt eventually looks over his shoulder only to be met with an endearing look.

“I think it will be okay.”

Kurt nods, but still gets up to get a rag.

Somehow the thought of a part of him leaving a permanent stain here is unsettling.

***

They spend the following day exploring the city, eating and shopping and freezing their butts off.

The theaters are dark that evening, but Blaine arranges for a quick tour where one of Kurt’s favorite shows is playing.  Seeing the costumes and sets, even without the actors and lights, is absolutely amazing.

When the light snow starts to fall a little faster, a little heavier, they opt for takeout instead of eating at a restaurant.  Dinner is spent bundled in blankets on the couch, cold clothes immediately discarded when they got home. 

They kiss and cuddle and kiss some more.  The last thing Kurt remembers before falling asleep is the gentle pressure of Blaine’s lips on his cheek.

***