"Nick are you crying?" Thad asked, repressing a grin.

"No!"

"Come on," Jeff motioned everyone in. "Group hug it out."

Cameron was the only one not to immediately join in. "Is it just me, or does this group have more bro hugs than most? This is, what? The third one today?"

"Shut up and get over here." David rolled his eyes.

Cameron lifted his hands in surrender. "So long as Nick doesnt try feel me up."

Said brunette flipped him off.

"Arent we such a loving family." Blaine quipped.

* W * W * G *

The Bro-Hug eventually broke apart when Richard - in the very center of the pack - said, "I have a feeling something bads gonna happen." The other Warblers couldnt get away fast enough. David and Cameron, who were on the outside, stumbled away, and ended up falling back on Davids bed, clutching each other. Blaine got pushed down on the floor by Wes, Trent, and Nicholi, and crab-crawled away. Nick had pulled Jeff back by the waist, and they ended up in a heap on the floor.

Richard laughed at them. "I was only joking. I was having a tough time breathing in there."

The Warblers glared at him. Cameron and David awkwardly untangled their limbs, avoiding eye contact as they took their seats. Blaine removed the shoe that found its way up his ass, then dusted himself off, smiling when Wes reprimanded Richard.

"Thats like yelling fire in a crowded theatre, Its illegal! Public endangerment!"

Across the room Nick groaned loudly, "Ow." Jeff was still wedged on top of him.

Everyone turned toward the duo, many smirking when they noted their position.

"If you wanna be alone, we can leave." Cameron deadpanned.

Nick went red. Jeff carefully extracted himself, then held out a hand to help Nick up. While the others were busy continuing their scolding Richard, Blaine managed to secure a spot on the bed for the first time. This was a very good thing, considering his back-end was still stinging from the shoe that tried to impregnate him earlier.

Nicholis hand shot up. "Can I use the restroom?

Wes raised an eyebrow and looked him blankly. "Sure?"

Nicholi bolted from the room.

Everyone else returned to their previous spots and got comfortable for the next episode.

Nick and Jeff were the last ones to do so, a little unsure of their new dynamic. Blaine watched them, both curious and amused. Nick fidgeted a bit, before finally sitting ramrod straight with his legs criss-crossed. Jeff, who didnt have the same problem with PDA, was completely comfortable with their relationship. The thing he was unsure of was how rigid Nick suddenly was, when they hung out the past week he had been much more relaxed.

Nicholi returned, turning the light off when he passed the switch. The television currently showed the green warning screen typical of most DVDs; It was seemingly the only thing about the Glee DVDs that was normal. Before the first episode and then this one were the only times it appeared. The boys ignored it in favor of chattering excitedly to one another.

Jeff bit his lip. The blondes hand heedfully inched toward Nicks, then stopped millimeters away. Jeff had meant to intertwine their fingers like they normally did when they watched movies alone, but his newfound insecurities based on his boyfriends demeanor stayed his hand. His usually chipper bearing deflated, and he let out an inaudible sigh.

In the semi-darkenss Blaine saw the interaction and had to keep himself from scoffing aloud. His friends were being ridiculous. He glanced around him, where many of the guys were talking and guessing upcoming events, considering helping Jeff out. He would have, but judging by the looks he was getting from Ethan - who hed taken a bed spot from - he wouldnt be getting his spot back if he moved. Eventually his selflessness won over. He sent Ethan a reproachful look, then slid off the bed. The second he stood up, just as hed predicted, Ethan rocketed off the floor and stole the spot back. Blaine sat down on the carpet, making sure to knock into Nick as he did so. He scooted so close to his roommate, that if Nick didnt want a lap full of Blaine he had to sit closer to Jeff. After moving over Nick was now pressed into Jeffs side, and on the move over his hand had found its way on top of Jeffs. This was all the confirmation Jeff needed to pluck up the courage to intertwine their fingers together.

The title flashed across the screen: Rhodes Not Taken

"Interesting way to spell roads."

SCENE 1 : Repetition Halls - Will and the Cast

Ringtone - Will hanging a poster to recruit in the Glee Club.

Finn and Quinn followed in chorus by the Cast- Song : Dont Stop Believing

"Quinns a... hem... " Wes struggled for the right word. "Lovely girl, but - "

Nicholi clapped his hands over his ears, wailing, "Oh God! My ears!"

"They need Rachel back, pronto."

In the repetition halls, Will rehearsed the cast with couple lighthouse Quinn and Finn. Suddenly, Quinn gets nauseous.

Will : Quinn, you OK?

Quinn runs out.

Finn : I think she just had a bad breakfast burrito.

Kurt : Can we please talk about the giant elephant in the room?

"Can we please talk about that bow tie?" Blaine said without missing a beat. "That shirt would look better with a one with polka dots."

"I dont know cause Im not that gay too be talking about patterns. So..."

David interrupted, "Really Blaine? With a striped shirt?"

Blaine shrugged his shoulders and held his hands out defensively. "What?" His eyebrows shot up.

Santana : Your sexuality?

Kurt : Rachel. We cant do it without her.

"Preach!"

Will : Thats not true. We may have to layer Santana Mercedes over Quinns solo, but...well be fine.

"Or you could let Artie solo over with his epic guitar skills." Jeff suggested.

"Reeeeaally loudly." Added Nicholi.

Artie : Maybe for the invitationals, but not for the sectionals and certainly not the regionals.

"The sectionals." Ethan mimicked. "Artie sounds like an old person talking about the Facebook or the YouTube."

Puck : The wheelchair kids right. That Rachel chick wants me wanna light myself on fire, but she can sing.

"I think that pretty much sums her up in a nutshell."

Will : Rachel left, guys. Shes gone.

"They make it sound like she died."

"Shes dead to us." Said Jeff grimly.

Will: If we want to make this thing work, we cant look back. Alright, take five minutes.

Will goes to the piano while the Glee Club gathers. Finn, he goes to Will.

Finn : Mr Shue? I dont want to tell you how to do your job, but with all the dancing around that Quinns doing, Im kind of worried about the baby.

Will : Yeah. Yeah, I get it. Um... how about I give Tina a few of her verses, okay?

David rolled his eyes. "Why dont they just play it on kazoos? Jesus."

Finn : Okay.

Will : You think you might want to tell your mom about whats going on?

"Wouldnt any smart teacher tell his students mother."

"That would be a douchebag move."

"Might as well reserve his title, you know, keep up his reputation."

Finn : I think Id rather handle it myself right now. My moms got enough to worry about.

Will is helpless in the situation.

RESTARAUNT-

Will and Terri moved to a table, while Terri swallows tons of cakes.

"So shes basically using her fake pregnancy to keep her man and be a fatty."

"Hey theres nothing wrong with that!" Jeff protested.

"Excuse me?" Thad said, taken aback.

"Let me rephrase: theres nothing wrong with saying suck it to portion control!"

"Sure, Ive got one whole example, America." Cameron said, making a ridiculous face and rainbow hands on the word America.

"Exactly, Merica!" Jeff promptly shoved a buttery handful of popcorn into his mouth.

"I so cannot wait until your metabolism dies."

"My what?" Jeff asked around a mouthful of pure grease.

"If you think Im going to kiss you, youre sorely mistaken." Nick muttered.

Jeff grinned - yes, mouth still full - and leaned over making kissey faces at him.

Will : How come you havent had any morning sickness? Quinn Fabray has been upchucking every 15 minutes.

Terri : Really? Thats a really good sign. That means the babys not a Mongoloid.

Will : Well, is it bad that you havent been sick then?

"Dig yourself out of that hole!"

Terri : Oh, no, honey, no, no. You should ask Howard Bamboo about my Linda Blair impersonations every half hour at work.

"She lies!"

Terri smiled at Will worried.

Will : I dont know what Im gonna do about this whole Rachel thing.

Server approach.

Server : Hey. Would you like anything else?

Terri : Another piece of grasshopper pie.

"That sounds gross and delicious at the same time.

Server : What, are you going for the record?

"Love how Mr. Shue doesnt defend his wife."

Terri : Im with child.

The server notes the command embarrassed.

Will : Hey, did you go to McKinley High? I think I had you in my Spanish class.

"Aaand hes more interested in a guy he may have taught."

Server : Yeah, like, five years ago. I go to Carmel now.

Will : How is that possible? You must be twenty-two.

Server : (Laughs) ... Twenty-four. Im a sixth-year senior. They keep failing me so I can stay in Vocal Adrenaline.

"Vocal Adrenaline students have jobs?" Wondered Thad. "I thought the director had them work in sweatshops backstage to make their own costumes."

"I heard they chained them to the seats in the auditorium after practice." Flint said, quite pleasantly for the subject matter.

Will : They fail you on purpose?

Server : Yeah.

Will : Is that legal?

Server : Im the only one who can do the triple flip.

"I cant believe he just told him all of that! Its amazing the authorities havent found out with him blabbing."

"He is a sixth year senior. I dont think intelligence is a defining quality of his."

Terri : Yeah. Hey, how about that other piece of pie?

Server : How about it.

"He was nice."

The server leaves and Will is shocked. Then, Will takes a bite of pie. Terri is thoughtful.

Terri : Honey, are you all right?

Will : ... Yeah. Fine.

Will smiles.

"I dont like the look on Shues face."

"I really hope hes not planning on doing that to the New Directions." Blaine cringed, just thinking about it.

EMMAS OFFICE-

Finn sat facing Emma tense.

Finn : So... have I done something wrong... or...?

Emma : Oh, no. No, no. Absolutely not. No, um, actually, Ive just, um, taken a special interest in you. Look, I know sometimes that life can come at you pretty fast, and, uh, you reach a point where you might just need a little, um, special guidance.

Finn : Has someone told you something about my personal life?

Emma : No. Mm-mm.

Flash Back

Moments earlier, Will in the office talking to Emma.

Will : Can you keep a secret?

"Creeeepy."

Back to reality

Emma : But, you know, there are very few students that ever get athletic scholarships. Okay? But there are a lot of schools that give full rides to students who excel in music. Students like yourself. And I dont know, maybe if you were able to go to college, you wouldnt, say, end up stuck in this town in a dead-end job living hand- to-mouth with a wife and a kid you never intended to have, you know? For example. Thats just something off the top of my head.

Finn : So you think if I stuck with Glee that I could get a scholarship?

"Thats what Im counting on."

Emma : Its definitely a possibility. You know? And if you did well at regionals, maybe you could, um, generate some interest.

Finn : But we lost Rachel. Do you think we can do it without her?

Emma : Sure.

Flash Back

Moments before, Emma and Will talking in the corridors.

Will : Do you think we can win regionals without Rachel?

Emma : Well, remember the Jamaican bobsled team? Big long shots.

Emma walks away.

"Didnt they make a movie about them?" Asked Flint.

"Yeah." Answered David.

Jeff threw both of his hands in the air, yelling excitedly, "Can that be our Friday night movie?"

Wes tilted his head thoughtfully. Now that they had found Glee it was unlikely that they would be watching anything else for a good long while, at least until they had finished all three seasons.

"If Glee doesnt replace movies." He answered.

The others seemed satisfied with this verdict.

Back to reality

Emma smiling face Finn worried.

Emma : ... Definitely. But if youre concerned about your future and, um, those who may be a part of your future soon, um, maybe you could just give Rachel a talk. You know, see if you can get her to come back.

Finn nodding while the school bell rang.

CLASSROOM-

Rachel interview by Jacob for the Gazettes high school at the microphone.

Jacob : How does it feel to be just a sophomore and get the lead in the school musical?

Rachel : Its an honor. Frankly, one I feel Ive earned. If theres anything Ive learned in my 16 years on the stage, its that stars are rare, and when theyre found, you have to let them shine.

Jacob stop recording.

Jacob : ... Mm. Show me your bra.

Rachel : You mean the one Im wearing?

"Whoa! That escalated quickly."

Jacob : Quid pro quo, Rachel. If you want a good review, show me your over the shoulder boulder holder.

Rachel : No way. You cant do that. My performance will stand on its own. Besides, no one reads the school paper, anyway.

Jacob : Oh, but Ill post my scathing review online. Youll be finished on the high school stage. Now, get those sweater puppies out of their cashmere cage.

"Uuugh what a fucking creep!"

The boys stared at him, shocked at both the exclamation and the foul language.

"Im a dude and thats just - no."

Rachel rising annoyed.

Jacob : Mm...

At this time, Sandy enters the room running.

Sandy : Sorry Im late. My Vespa had a flat.(Jacob gets up quickly and arranges his affairs.)Give me a minute and I will be ready for my interview.

Jacob begins quickly packing.

"Yeah, you run little pervy creep!"

Jacob : Were actually not gonna need any quotes from you for the article, Mr Ryerson. Do the right thing. All the great actresses take their clothes off.

"I wonder if thats foreshadowing anything." Nicholi said quietly.

"You would."

Sandy : Well, I have no problem with nudity. Let me tell you about my planned production of Equius. Have you ever hung out at a stable?

The boys shuddered.

Sandy was driving Jacob out, as Rachel sits down. Finn enters the room and sees Rachel.

Finn : Hey, what are you doing?

"Oh my God! That is priceless!"

"Finn walks in at the best times."

Rachel : Nothing. Uh, just... getting the star treatment I didnt get in Glee.

Finn : Totally.

Rachel : Its times like this where I know Ive chosen the right path. Im never going back to Glee. Its clear my talent is too big for an ensemble.

Finn approaches her.

Finn : Not gonna get an argument from me.

Rachel : Im not?

Finn : No. Youre, like, the most talented person I know. Even more than that guy at the mall who can juggle chain saws.

"No one is more talented than that guy." Blaine said.

"No one." Reiterated a few others.

I just wanted to let you know that if you need someone to run lines with, Im available.

Rachel : Th ...There is a lot of dialogue.

Finn : I figured... we could go somewhere quiet, maybe with low lighting and... Let me know.

"How very subtle."

Finn goes off leaving Rachel with a smile.

"Oooo Finn the master manipulator."

"Really though, Finn trying to be manipulative is just wrong."

SCENE 5 : Will offices - Will and Emma

Emma sits opposite to Will with a folder in his hand.

Emma : I could get fired for this.

Will : She was a student 15 years ago. No one is gonna care.

"Pretty sure that doesnt make it legal."

Emma : Okay.

Emma, hesitant, reluctantly gives the folder. Then, Will, impatient, browses the folder with a smile.

Will : I...I knew it. She never graduated. She...she quit with, like, three credits to go.

Emma : Will. Yeah, I, um, I saw her picture in the folder. Pretty.

Will : Pretty? Mm. April Rhodes was a goddess. The most talented performer in McKinley Glee Club history. When she sang, it was mesmerizing. She was my first crush. I was a freshman,...

Emma : Wait...

Will : ... she was a senior.

Emma : Wait, hold on, cause I thought you said your wife was your first crush.

Will : Well, yeah, thats because April didnt even look at me. Aw, crap, theres no forwarding address.

Emma : S...So then youve...youve had feelings for someone other than your wife.

Will : Emma, Id love to play This Is Your Life, but... (Typing on his computer.) Lord Google demands my attention.

"Hes either really oblivious or a huge douchebag."

"Even if hes oblivious hes still being a jerk."

Emma rising.

Emma : Okay, just wait...wait. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Um, reaching back into your past is a dangerous business, okay? People can change. They can, um, disappoint you...

Will : I think I can handle it.

Emma : I thought I could, too. Just hear me out, hear me out. A few years ago, I started an online flirtation with a high school flame Andy. Things got weird, and I called it off. And two months later... ...Versace was dead. Dead.

"Did she say Versace?" Asked Blaine, not understanding the relationship between the two things.

"I am so confused."

Will returning to his computer.

Will : Okay... April Rhodes... Ohio. Oh! She has a MySpace page.

Emma : Oh, God.

Emma placing behind Will.

Will : Oh, and heres a link to her own personal Web site. Shes online.

"Who isnt?" Snorted Ethan.

"Hi, April."Not sure if you remember me, but my name is Will Schuester."

"That music in the background makes me wonder..."

Emma (reads) : 35 Bontempo Road, between 2:00 and 3:00.

Will : Oh! Oh!

Emma : Bring buffalo wings.

"I bet shes like really fat."

APRILS HOUSE-

Will is outside her home. Then he goes to his door and rings. The door opens revealing April.

Most of the guys mouths dropped open.

"Oh holly mother!"

"Close your mouth."

Will : April.

April : Hello. Are you Will?

Will : Y...You remember me?

April : Mm. No, but I dont remember breakfast.

Will and April, drunk, laughing.

April : Come on in.

Will enters a huge house.

April : So, did I sleep with you?

"Straight to the point."

Will : Uh, I was a freshman when you were a senior.

April : So, did I sleep with you?

Will : No.

April : Can I get you a drink? I just cracked open a fresh box of wine.

Will, surprised, follows her.

Will : This is a-a great place you have. Uh, looks like youre doing well for yourself.

April : I get about five or six appointments on a good day from my World Wide Web page, so I do okay for myself.

"So shes a prostitute?" Blaine wondered.

April, returning with two glasses of wine and a smile.

April : Why dont you have a seat, take off that jacket, and Im gonna slip into something a little more com-for-tablé.

"Someones drunk."

"Just now figure that out?"

Three people enter the house this moment.

Will : Mm! ...

Agente : So, this is a beautiful five-bedroom

The agent and the couple were surprised to find people in the house.

Agente : ...with wood-burning fireplace and... You. This is the third time this week.

Will : Who are you?

Agente : Im Sandra with Oakcrest Realty. And she is a squatter. This is a bank- owned property. The owners foreclosed six months ago.

"That house isnt getting sold."

April : Let me just get my vino, and Ill be out of your hair. Hold that.

Will : Okay.

April went away.

Will : (Smiling) ... Just... Nice place.

"Awkward."

Moments later, Will and April out on the sidewalk. While that April is used again to drink.

Will : Can I ask you a question?

April : Yeah.

Will : What happened to you, April? In high school, you were really going places. You had a voice like a dream; everyone loved you.

April : Oh. Oh, I hitched my star to the wrong wagon. Me and my high school sweetheart Vinny were convinced we were going to be stars, so we dropped out of school and hitchhiked our way to the Broadway.

"Isnt that what happened to Madonna?"

"Madonna did it better."

Will laughs.

April : Then we ended up in Cleveland slinging hash at Ralphs Bait Shop and Waffle House. Then Ralph had an affair with Vinny. I had a set of mixed-race twins. And those were the good times. ... (Chuckles)... (Sighs)...

Will : April... I think your struggle is really moving. And I want to help you get back on your feet. I happen to know that youre only three credits shy of your diploma. I can put you in my Spanish class. And... I know youre an amazing singer. I want you to be in the glee club.

"Ah, theres the catch."

Well get you sobered up... find you some underwear. Its not too late for you, April. What do you say?

"How does he know shes not wearing underwear?"

April, happy, dumps her drink.

"I doubt shell stay sober."

CHOIR ROOM-

Will facing the Glee Club with her friend, April.

Will : Guys, Id like to introduce you to someone very special. This is April Rhodes. Shes our newest member.

April is very enthusiastic.

Finn : Wait, so old people can join Glee Club now?

April : Old, huh? You guys look like the worlds worst Benetton ad.

Will : Mm. Mm...

Artie : (Raising hand) Mr Schuester, this seems like a terrible idea.

"They should just let Artie direct the club." Jeff said seriously. Nicholi nodded.

Will : April is a great singer. And she never graduated.

Mercedes : We appreciate what youre trying to do, but shes no Rachel.

April : Whos Rachel?

Tina : Sh...Shes kind of our star.

April : Your star, eh? Well, where is she?

Kurt : She left. to be the lead in Cabaret.

April : Hey, Tinkles, give me "Maybe This Time" in B flat. And dont let me catch you snoozing.

"Poor piano man."

Blaine unconsciously began quietly humming the Billy Joel song.

April and Rachel - Song : Maybe This Time

"That last note was painful." Thad said, when the song ended, his face screwed up.

April, pointing to what she can do Cast. While Rachel, meanwhile, repeated his musical. At the end of the song, while the Glee Club was so impressed that Kurt was in tears.

Throughout the entire performance David and Flint had their eyes averted south of Aprils face. Blaine noticed and stretched up, waving his hands in front of Flints face. Wes didnt even look away from the screen, he simply reached over, and closed Davids agape mouth.

April : Stick that in your pipe and smoke it.

"I liked Rachels better. It was much," Wes struggled for the right word. "Cleaner."

"She was also sober." Blaine pointed out.

"As far as we know."

"Shut up Jeff."

SCENE 8 : Classroom - Will and April

Will, in full Spanish course, questioning students on the court.

Will : So, if I were to say, "Im going to Mexico for the day," would I use "por" or "para"?

April raised her hand.

April : Mm...

Will : April.

April : Para?

Will : Por?

April : Oh. I guess I better por myself another Crantini.

The students are laughing face Will embarrassed and worried that April then smiled and drank his glass.

April : Im just kidding. Its hot chocolate.

"Sure."

Ring.

Will : All right, remember, guys, oral reports Wednesday. April, can I talk to you for a second?

"Oooooooooo!" Nicholi rang out.

Students leaving out Will and April alone.

April : Im sorry, Will. The old noodle just aint what she used to be. I huffed a lot of upholstery cleaner in the 90s

"What would possess a person...?"

Will : Look, April, Ive been, uh, talking to the glee kids, and, um, I think theyre still not so sure about having you around. You draw a lot of attention to yourself. And theyre embarrassed enough as it is. So do you think you could maybe take some time and try to win them over?

April smiling.

"This wont turn out good."

CHOIR ROOM-

April drinking with Kurt.

"Hey look!" Thad exclaimed, pointing at the screen. "Kurt and Blaine dress alike!"

"Its because Im gay isnt it." Blaine deadpanned.

The whole room stiffened, and Thads eyes went wide."N-no."

It all became too much and Blaines glare turned into a grin. Jeff and Nick cracked up at everyones faces. They were all so afraid that Blaine was actually offended.

April : Yeah.

Kurt : Mm, smells like my Aunt Mildred.

"Does like, everyone, have an Aunt Mildred?"

Half of the room raised their hands.

April : Just drink it.

Kurt sips it.

Kurt : Sweet. With a bit of an afterburny taste.

April : Oh, good Chablis should always have a little bite. Now, a few swigs of that every day before school, and youll have all the courage you need to be yourself.

April pinches his cheeks.

Kurt : Really?

"Really?" Jeff asked with Kurt.

"I will make you take breathalyzer test every morning if I have to."

April : Oh, yeah.

Kurt : Thats fantastic.

April : Mm, so is my primo collection of vintage muscle magazines. Want them?

"Instant boner!" Richard said in his movie-narrator voice.

"Gross Dick." Cameron quipped.

April handing him the books he took with love.

SCENE 10 : Corridor - Kurt and Will

Ring - Kurt, with these magazines, speaks with Will.

Kurt : Mr Schuester, I changed my mind. April should stay. I worship her.

"I guess all you need is a little softcore porn and a little booze in Kurts system, and hell worship you." Cameron said salaciously. "Know what I mean Blaine?"

"Just no."

Kurt goes leaving Will, aghast.

CHOIR ROOM-

April showing the girls how to put objects hidden between their legs. But things fall.

"Um, what the hell?"

April : Oh, no, you got to be more natural.

Tina : I c...cant do this.

Mercedes : I dont understand why were doing this in the first place.

April : Your lack of imagination astounds me. This is only the beginning. If you can master this, you can sneak anything out of a store between your knees.

"Oh God."

April, mini-skirt, slips a cabbage between those thighs and walk.

April : Shoes, prom dresses. I once got a cake out of a kids birthday party. With the candles still lit.

"I wonder if that -" Nicholi began.

"Unless youve got a kilt or a really long trench coat hidden in your closet, I wouldnt even think about it." Wes answered instantly.

WILLS OFFICE-

Will, anxious face to Tina and Mercedes restyled.

Will : Are you sure?

Mercedes : She can stay.

Tina : T...t...Totally.

LOCKER ROOM-

April, the boys in the locker room, taking a shower with Puck. Moments later, in the corridors, she jokes with the whole football team with Puck.

April : Ah! Ah! Ah! ... Dont tickle me.

"That is so illegal on so many levels."

Will, she passes, is stunned by this change in behavior of Glee Club.

"Mr. Shue thats so not apropos."

SCENE 14 : Repetition Halls - Sandy and Rachel

Rachel singing a song to Sandy dissatisfied.

Sandy : This is terrible... This is a disaster... Im gonna barf. ...Boring!... No, no, no, no, no!

Rachel stops singing.

Rachel : I dont know what you want.

Jeff sighed and shook his head. "He wants the D."

Sandy : Well, I know what I dont want. And it is all of this.

"You dont have a -"

"JEFF!"

Sandy : When I gave you this part, I thought you could handle it, but clearly you cant. What this show needs is a star with a little bit more maturity.

Rachel : I know what youre trying to do. Youre trying to get me to quit, so you can be the star.

"I dont think a middle-aged man can be the lead in a high school production of Cabaret."

Rachel : Well, it wont work. Im not going anywhere.

Rachel leaves. Sandy is stunned.

"But she just left..."

"I think she meant in more of a proverbial sense." Wes explained.

Sandy : ... Ill say.

CHOIR ROOM-

Finn and Rachel repeating the musical by Rachel.

"Is that a reindeer sweater? I want one." Nicholi said, wide-eyed.

"If you get one like that, I cant permit you to be associated with Dalton or the Warblers." Wes said seriously.

"At least go with one a little more tasteful." Blaine added.

Rachel : Im sleeping with him.

Finn : So am I... (Surprised, he drops the text.) This plays weird.

Rachel : Thats Mr. Ryersons favorite line.

"Im sure it is."

Rachel : Youre a really good actor, Finn. Maybe you should consider joining the musical.

Finn : Im pretty devoted to Glee. I dont think I could just walk away from it. I know how hard it was for you. But I could justify doing both if you came back. But we both know thats not gonna happen.

Finn approaching her.

Finn : ... Do you know what we should do?

Rachel : Elope?

Finn : What?

"What?"

Rachel : Nothing.

Finn : We should go bowling.

"Again, what?"

"Bowling fixes everything, duh."

Trent piped up, "Yeah remember when Wes and David were fighting before Christmas and they duked it out at Bennys Bowling Alley and ice rink?"

David tilted his head thoughtfully. "I dont remember that."

"It was when you broke -" A look of sudden realization crossed Davids face, it quickly turned to panic. He lunged at Trent. He ended up not jumping far enough and as a result was only able to grab Trents arm. Trent shook him off easily, not catching the stop talking looks everyone was sending him. "When you broke Wes gavel and you tried to hide it, but he found out."

"You broke my gavel?" Wes face was unreadable, his lips set in a thin line.

David turned on Trent. "That was our annual pre-Christmas bowling tournament, you dumb motherfu - We werent fighting, we were competitors! I replaced it before he noticed!"

"How did this happen?"

David gulped. "I was - I took it out of the room and I was playing with it. I was really careful, I swear! But then when I banged it down on the table... It... Broke..." He finished in a small voice. He shrunk away, readying his arms to shield his face if need be.

Wes suddenly started laughing. The boys who were hoping to see a fight visibly deflated.

"Im only messing with you, David. That was only a replica. What would I be doing with the true Warblers gavel?" He asked rhetorically.

Davids face went livid. "I bought you a two hundred-dollar gavel to replace the one that I didnt break?" He thundered.

The boys sat back up in anticipation.

"No you did break it, it just wasnt the expensive one." Wes said, casually picking at his thumbnail.

The guys nearest David had to physically restrain him. Wes wasnt phased in the least by his friends behavior, he simply sat back and pressed play.

Blaine wondered how a gavel could possibly cost two hundred dollars. Was it made of gold?

Finn : Youre always so stressed out about the play. You just need to loosen up...(Trying his hand at her side at the piano.). I always go bowling whenever Im worked up about a big game or something.

"Is, um, bowling an innuendo for something?" Asked Trent.

"It really might be."

Jeff turned to Nick and walked his fingers up his arm. "What do you say we get out of here, and go bowling?" He waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

"Hey Niff!" Cameron shouted. "Whats the difference between Nick and a bowling ball?"

Jeff scratched his head thoughtfully, Nick however, went wide-eyed.

"You can only fit three fingers in a bowling ball!"

The other boys - excluding Blaine, who rolled his eyes - howled with laughter. Nick hid his head in Jeffs shoulder. Jeff glared at the others, but it didnt have much impact as he was also trying to stifle a grin. He made shooing gestures to the other boys, then put his arms around Nick, kissing the top of his head and whispering something to him.

Rachel : Just us?

Finn : Yeah.

Rachel : Yeah, that...that...that would be great. I...I am really stressed out. But thats the price you pay for being a star.

Suddenly, April and Will enter.

April : Dont I know it.

Will : Hey, Rachel. April Rhodes, Rachel Berry. Hey, can you give us the room, Rachel? We need to teach April the cues for "Dont Stop Believing."

"Aprils voice just wouldnt fit."

"Agreed. Only Rachel should sing Journey."

"Her voice is just enough that it sounds good singing rock. Aprils voice is too Broadway classical, and smooth."

Finn : Wait, shes singing the female lead?

Rachel : Wait, shes in the glee club? Shes... ancient.

April : Talent doesnt age, sweetheart.

Finn : Thats Rachels part, Mr Shue.

Will : Well, Rachels not in the glee club anymore.

Rachel : Thanks, Finn.

Rachel leaves.

Will : Rachel... Were all really excited to see the play. Make sure you save us a seat in the front row.

"Mr. Shues kind of a douche."

April moved while Rachel goes away, annoyed.

April : Me, me, me, me, me, me, me

Finn : You...you...you...you...you...

"Hmm. I never realized how deep Finns voice was." Wes said, thoughtfully.

Rachel looking through the glass unhappy.

MCKINLEY HALLWAY-

Ring - Kurt, drunk, arrives at his locker.

Blaine slapped a hand over his mouth, his eyes bugging out. All around the room there were shocked exclamations.

"Damn!" David said, slack-jawed.

"Holy hell!"

Nick blinked. "Kurt looks like a zombie."

"I think its safe to say someone has a hangover."

Nicholi, on the other hand, was paying attention elsewhere. "Hey look! Hes wearing a Dalton tie!"

Blaine squinted at the screen. "No, it has purple stripes on it."

Nicholi visibly deflated.

"Yah know, for being totally smashed, he did a pretty good job dressing himself." Blaine offered.

"I think thats the most dressed down weve ever seen him."

Emma passes, smiling at him. Then Emma perceives and feels the smell of alcohol. She approaches him.

"I love how she couldnt tell he was drunk just looking at him, she had to smell him."

Emma : Kurt? Hi.

Kurts face turns pale and wan.

Emma : Kurt. Im a girl who knows her solvents, and your breath smells like rubbing alcohol.

Kurt stares at her.

Kurt : Oh, Bambi. I cried so hard when those hunters shot your mommy.

Blaines lips tugged at the corners, his eyebrows raised into a sad, puppy expression. How adorable was a drunken Kurt?

"That was said with such conviction."

The boys burst into laughter.

Kurt stares at her.

"Oh no..." Blaine trailed off, knowing the outcome before it happened.

Kurt vomiting on the shoes of Emma.

Emma : Oh! ...

"Oooooh!" The boys chorused.

"Ill bet Miss Pillsbury loved that." Trent winced.

TEACHERS LOUNGE-

Emma, walks petrified into the room and joins Will.

Will : Hey, Em. Just trying to figure out the set list for Saturday.

Emma : I just got back from the emergency room. Had them give me four decontamination showers. I think they call that "the full Silkwood."

Will : What happened?

Emma : Kurt was drunk and he ralphed on me. Not really fessing up to how he got the booze just yet, but Im pretty sure its not a fake ID, because he looks like an 11-year-old milkmaid

"Aww thats mean. I think he could pass for eighteen."

Will, I think it was April. Her backpacks always clinking with empties.

Will : Im so sorry. I...I will, Ill talk to him.

"I dont think Kurts the one who needs to be talked to."

Emma : Okay.

Will : Mm... (Sighing)

Emma sat down.

Emma : Im, um, Im a little bit worried about the glee club.

Will : So am I. I mean... (sighs) if we dont place at regionals, it...its all over.

"They could always get together outside of school."

"It wouldnt be the same."

"It wouldnt be fair either."

Emma : We have obligations as teachers, Will, to give kids opportunities for growth and enrichment. With April in Glee, youre taking away a kids chance to grow, and youre giving it to someone whose brain is soaked in corn booze.

Will : Aprils not finished, Emma. And if Glees gonna win, I need to give her a second chance. She is a talented performer and I really think that the kids are going to learn a lot of valuable technique from her.

Emma : Okay. But I think you need to think about... why youre doing this and what youre willing to sacrifice to get it.

"I think thats her way of saying that if April doesnt leave theyre done."

"Aw, that would be a travesty." Nick said sarcastically. "Hed be down one girlfriend."

Emma went away leaving Will to meditate on these words.

SCENE 18 : Repetition Halls - Sandy and Rachel

Sandy, angry typing stick to Rachel again.

"Why does he always look like a pillow mint?"

Sandy : (Screaming)... You...suck!

SCENE 19 : WC - Rachel and April

Rachel weeping face in the mirror when between April.

April : Oh... Rough day at the office, cookie?

"She may be a drunk, but hey shes nice."

Rachel : Ive just got a lot on my plate. Its not easy being in the spotlight.

April : Mm...

Rachel : Its the difficult road Ive chosen.

April : Yeah. I know that song, sister. Um, do you have any NyQuil? I could use a little pick-me-up.

Rachel, frightened, shaking his head.

April : No. These high school boys are a lot hotter than they used to be. That Finn Hudson is one cutie pie I gots my eye on.

Flint looked puzzled. "I dont get it. What does Finn have that makes these chicks snap to him like glue?"

Jeff answered. "Well you know what they say about tall guys..."

"What Jeff? What do they say?" Wes sighed.

"They can change light bulbs and reach things on high shelves." He answered.

Wes was taken aback momentarily, then his lips twitched. "Thats nice Jeff."

Rachel : Finns taken, April.

April : Yeah, well, some guys like a little somethin...somethin on the side.

Rachel : I think your behavior is totally inappropriate and your presence in this school is a complete travesty. What you choose to do with your life is your own business, but dont go around screwing up everyone elses.

"Even though shes totally saying that for the wrong reasons, at least someone finally said it."

April : Im not afraid of you, sweetie. There was a time when I was the biggest star around here. And now that Ive got that back... Im never letting it go.

"This looks like the start of a really bad eighties Rom-Com."

"It looks like a Stephen King novel."

Blaine could see Nicholis brain working from across room. He looked up at the ceiling and began an internal countdown.

Three...

Two...

One...

"I bet Terri and April Rhodes get together and kill Rachel!"

April goes off leaving Rachel alone.

SCENE 20 : Bowling - Rachel, Finn, Will and April

Rachel face the balls, hesitantly, speaks with Finn.

Rachel : Do I have to put my fingers in the holes?

Many of them snickered.

Rachel : Couldnt there be diseases in there or something?

Finn : Oh, no. Ball sharings all part of the fun.

Finn taking a pink ball and handing him.

Finn : ... Here, use the pink one. Pinks your favorite color, right?

"Thats not how bowling works!"

Cameron rolled his eyes. "Play it before David can start on a tangent."

Rachel, smiling, takes it.

Rachel : Now what?

"How has she never gone bowling before. Its like a childs passage of right."

Finn : Follow my lead.

Rachel and Finn settling face bowling. Finn behind her, placing his arms.

Finn : Okay, so... Just look at the pins. Nice and straight.

Rachel, helped by Finn, throwing the ball that lands in the reserve. Finn laughs.

"That was pathetic."

Finn : You sure this is your first time?

"And where is his pregnant girlfriend Quinn?"

Finn carting but she smiled. For their part, April plays and scores a strike against Will enthusiastic.

"Better question: If Shue is right there why doesnt he slap the crap out of Finn for being a dummy?"

Wes answered, "A, that would be illegal, and B, hes to busy emotionally cheating on his pregnant significant other."

Will : Oh, ho...ho! April!

April : Woo-hoo!

Will : You see what you can accomplis when youre sober?

April : Sober? Im rolling on a fistful of horse tranquilizers. I cant feel my lips. (laughing) Oh, you know... I think Im going to keep these shoes. ( Drinking)

Will more and more exasperated.

Will : April... I brought you here because I need to talk to you.

April : Okay.

Will : Im concerned that youre a bad influence on the glee club.

"Really?" Trent said sarcastically.

Will : I cant have you around if youre going to continue to encourage them to make bad choices.

April, surprisingly, is silent for a moment.

April : ... Well, youre right, Will. As of right now, Im back on the wagon.

April, giving him his glass.

Will : Really? Thats great.

"I dont think Will understands how addiction works." Said Blaine.

Both laugh.

Will : I have to tell you something. I was in awe of you in high school. I mean, of all the roads I never traveled in my life, the one I regret the most was never... getting the chance to sing with you.

"Never taking your Rhode." Said David. "You know he was going to say it."

April : Really?

Will : Yeah. I mean, thats how you get better, you know? Singing with people who are better than you.

April : You really thought that much of me?

Will : April ... You are the reason I joined Glee Club.

April : No...(Embarassed) ... So, your dream was always to sing with me, huh?

Will : Yeah.

"So basically Mr. Shue is emotionally cheating with three other women, one of which includes his pregnant wife."

"Shes not really preggers."

"He doesnt know that."

"Whats next? Hes going to make out with the Vocal Adrenaline coach?"

"I wouldnt be surprised. She is pretty hot." Cameron said

"Really?"

"Yeah... you know she kind of looks like Rachel now that I think about it."

"Weird." Said Blaine.

April : Well, then, come on.

Will : What?

April : Come on!

April involving Will karaoke bowling. She handing him a microphone

Barry : Hey, April, karaokes on Wednesdays...tonights bingo.

April : Shut your gravy hole, Barry.

"Are we sure Aprils actually from Ohio? She sounds awfully Southern."

"Ive noticed that too."

Will (into a microphone) : Hey, guys, uh, happy gambling. Here we go.

Will and April - Song : Alone

"Why dont they just make out, make it official?"

On stage at karaoke, Will and April singing a duet with an audience very satisfied and reluctant to as.

April : Thank you!

Will takes it in the arm with an audience who applauded warmly. While on their side, Rachel and Finn are at the table eating a pizza.

Rachel : This is really good pizza.

Finn : Mm... Yeah. I think they import the pepperoni from, like, Michigan or something.

"MICHIGAN!"

"What was that?"

"Nothing. I just really love Michigan."

"Why?"

"I dont really know."

Rachel : Hows Glee?

Finn : Oh, well, everybody misses you.

"I think thats his backwards way of saying that he misses her."

Rachel : They miss my talent.

Finn : No, no. Were your friends. We just miss having you around.

"He seems genuine, but theres just no way hes telling the truth."

Rachel : I love Glee, I just... dont see the point in wasting my énergies on someplace that Im not appreciated.

"I dont think Rachel knows how life works."

Finn : I appreciate you.

Finn rising sharply and handing him a ball.

Finn : Its your last ball.

"That was abrupt."

Rachel rising in turn to join him.

Finn : Just like the first time, but better.

Rachel, ready, kiss the ball and throws it.

"So she didnt want to put her fingers in the holes cause they have diseases, but shell put her lips on it?" Blaine asked, confused.

She managed a strike.

"Theres no way that just happened."

Rachel : Ah! ...

Rachel was ecstatic, jumping around in the arms of which Finn.

"I know I get excited about bowling, but whats with all of the hugging."

Suddenly, she kisses him.

"Is it suddenly okay to cheat on the woman you knocked up?"

"He didnt knock her up though."

"Once again: He. Doesnt. Know. That."

Finn : Come back to Glee.

Rachel : What about Quinn?

Finn : I dont know whats going to happen in the future. I just know that I want to spend more time with you now.

Rachel : Ill...Ill have to quit the play. Ill do it!

"I feel like boys are going to get her into some bad situations." Trent shook his head.

Finn, surprised, takes her in his arms.

CHOIR ROOM-

Everyone is congregated around the piano.

Tina : She is strange.

Kurt : Maybe Quinn is lactose intolerant.

"Thats hardly gossip worthy material."

Artie : That doesnt explain all the crying.

Tina : Maybe she just doesnt like the group.

Puck, annoyed, listen away.

Puck : Are you all that stupid?

"And this is coming from Puck."

"I wonder if hes actually going to squeal on Quinn."

Puck : Seriously? I bet you thought Bert and Ernie were just roommates.

"Ive always wondered if they were really gay lovers."

"Maybe its like a subliminal message of acceptance."

"Conspiracies!"

Maybe Quinns got one in the oven.

Everyone is shocked.

Mercedes : Whos the babys daddy?

Puck : Who do you think? Finn.

"Okay I know the baby daddy isnt Finn, but shouldnt everyone have just assumed he was. They are dating. Not exactly a shocker."

"Just look at Finn! Does he look like hes capable of impregnating anyone, let alone seducing the president of the Celibacy Club?"

"Touché."

The Glee club are shocked, Kurt scoffs.

"Considering Kurts supposedly in love with Finn he should not look that happy about this."

Rachel, happy at that moment between.

Rachel : Yes, youve heard right...I am returning to Glee Club. In lieu of flowers, please send all donations to a socially conscious charity of your choice.

Mercedes ( Whispering) : This is a hot damn mess.

Santana ( Whispering) : Oh! My God!

Rachel : Uh, Im sorry; I thought Id be welcomed back with a tad more enthusiasm.

Kurt : Sorry, Glee Club has just been rocked with its first scandal.

"Glee club and scandal hardly belong in the same sentence."

Mercedes : Quinns knocked up.

Kurt : And the baby daddy? Finn.

"Kurt, again with double patterns." Blaine groaned.

Everyone turned toward him.

"I only just realized." He said defensively.

"Blaine, I think you could take some fashion advice from Kurt."

Blaine looked affronted.

"Dont give me that look Anderson." Said David, warningly. "Ive seen you wear a polka dot bow tie, burgundy pants, a diamond cardigan, and a striped blazer. Thats four patterns. Not to mention the accessories."

"Im not into fashion, and even I know thats ridiculous." Added Nicholi.

Blaine pouted.

Rachel, completely stunned, feels wrong.

EMMAS OFFICE-

Finn, happy, hands over files to Emma.

Finn : I just wanted to drop off the application for that scholarship you were telling me about. I got Rachel to come back to Glee, so, I figure we have a real shot at it.

Emma : Im so proud of you. See what you can accomplis when you set your mind to it?

"And another case of the ends justifying the means."

MCKINLEY HALLWAY-

Finn, happy, Rachel crosses, pissed.

Rachel : Finn.

Rachel slaps him.

"Ouch." They winced.

Rachel : Youre a liar. Why didnt you tell me Quinn was pregnant?

Finn : Who told you?

Rachel : Everyone knows but me. Im the only fool who went out with you and let you kiss me, thinking you actually had feelings for me.

"Actually you kissed him."

Finn : But I...I do. Look, yeah, I havent been totally honest with you, but thats different than lying.

Rachel : Mm... (Sighing)

Finn : Well, maybe its not that much different, but...

"Stop talking Finn."

Finn : but look, I need to get a music scholarship, so I can go to college, so I can get a good job, so I can take care of my kid and I cant do that if you dont come back to Glee Club. You should take it as a compliment.

Rachel : You could have just been honest with me.

Finn : ... Look, I know what I did was wrong. I get that, but... that kiss was real.

Rachel : Whatever it was, it ruined any chance of me ever coming back to Glee. I hope you have fun playing house with Quinn while you languish in your little ensemble, but my dreams are bigger than that and theyre bigger than you.

"I think that may be going a little far."

Rachel goes to find Sue. Sue is taking down a poster, then swiftly puts it back up when Rachel appears.

Oh my gosh. Blaine rolled his eyes at the coaches antics.

Rachel : Miss Sylvester. We need to talk. If youd like to to return to the musical, changes need to be made.

Sue : Well, Rachel, I couldnt agree with you more. You know, when I heard Sandy wanted to write himself into a scene as Queen Cleopatra, I was aroused, then furious.

"What?"

Sue : I hereby grant you complete artistic control. Congratulations, kiddo.

Rachel smiled and Sue.

"That was much too easy."

Sue : ... You now have everything you could possibly want. Isnt it a great feeling?

Sue goes off leaving Rachel perplexed.

SCENE 24 : Repetition Halls - Cast, Will, April and Emma

The cast repeating piano.

Cast : Mia... Mia...Mia ... Mia ... Mia...Mia...Mia... Mia... Mia...Mia...

Will interrupts.

Will : The house is packed... you guys are going to kick butt tonight. Your first performance in front of a real audience. I cant wait. You guys are going to love it.

The cast smiled at Will.

Will : Where...Wheres April?

April arriving drunk.

April : Yee-haw! (laughing) Right on cue, as usual. Hey, roller-boy. Handsome. Oh, I like that color. Have you been working on the, uh, moves we talked... Youve got something right there, on your...

April kisses Puck on the mouth. Will pulls her back.

"The sad part is that he doesnt even seem phased by her behavior."

April : Uh, oh... Honk! (grabbing Kurts nose)

Blaine chuckled at Kurts face.

April : Theres my boy.

Will : Are you drunk?

"I think the better question is how drunk."

You promised me youd sober up for this.

April : When? Last night? Well, I was drunk. You cant hold me to that.

Emma enter.

Emma : Hum! Hum! Will.

April : Hit it, knuckles. You... You...You...You...You...

Will and Emma out for a moment in the corridor to talk.

Emma : April Rhodes almost ran me over in the parking lot just now, Will. You cant let her go on in her condition.

Will : There is an auditorium full of people waiting to see us perform and if she doesnt go on, none of the kids can.

"Really? Because I see about twelve other capable singers in that choir room."

"Yeah, like Artie!"

Emma : Wow. Its really great how committed you are to these kids.

Emma goes against Will, exasperated.

AUDITORIUM-

Figgins front of the room talking.

Figgins (Micro) : Now, ladies and gentlemen, please welcome McKinley High Schools New Directions.

The audience applauds the stage door.

April et le Cast - Song : Last Name

Despite the fact that April is drunk on stage, the cast performs a fine performance in front of a captivated audience.

"I wonder why they chose that song." Wes said.

Thad shrugged. "Maybe their paying homeage to Oklahoma."

Throughout the performance Blaine watched Kurt shuffling around, oddly turned on by the simple dance moves.

"While the singing and dancing was decent, that was a boring performance." Said Richard. "Definitely not deserving of a standing ovation that large."

"As opposed to Push It." Blaine chuckled.

"Of course."

MCKINLEY HALLWAY-

Will, waiting in front of the girls bathroom, so that April stops vomiting. Moments later, April leaves the toilet but Will intercepts.

April : Mm... Mm...

Will : I need to talk to you.

April : Sorry. Baby had to tinkle. Come on. Act two.

Will : No, I cant let you go back out there. You broke a promise.

April : ... Youre right. Its a great moment for me, but it didnt feel right. I dont belong up there. But everybody desserves their moment in the spotlight, you know, to shine? Oh, I got that standing ovation, Will. And it felt amazing. Like every bad decision Id ever made just went away. I was back in the game. But then I look over and I see these sweet faces of these kids and I think... "Im hogging their sunshine. Its their turn now, not yours."

Will nodded.

April : ... Theyre so Lucky to have you, Will, because you wont let what happened to me ever happen to any of them.

"Thats actually really sad, and not just in the pathetic sense."

Will : So, where you gonna go?

April : Well, um... Im going to straighten up. Maybe try to find a new dream. You know, I always loved the Broadway.

Will : The Broadway.

Both laugh.

April : Do you think theres a part out there for a washed-up has-been like me?

Will : April, you are not washed-up. And hey, theres always Branson.

"Performing at theme parks is all time low."

Many of the others agreed. Blaine decided against mentioning the gig he landed at Six Flags this upcoming summer.

April : Will ... Will ... Will ...

April gives him a kiss on the cheek, happy when he takes her in his arms.

Will : Thank you.

April : Oh... (wry laugh) No, no, no. Thank you.

April away from him.

April : Branson, eh?

"Foreshadowing." Nicholi muttered.

Will, happy, observed without going.

CHOIR ROOM-

All the cast dressed for the second half when Will enters.

"Oh my gosh, is Kurt doing Santanas makeup?"

Artie rolls over to him.

Artie : They loved us! Were a hit.

Tina : Wh...Wh...Wheres April?

Kurt : You were right, Mr Shue. Shed massacre Mariah in a diva-off.

Will : April is amazing. But shes not in the glee club anymore.

Everyone is surprised.

Will : It... I, uh... I screwed up bringing her here. It was about me and Glee Club is supposed to be about you guys. You dont need her to be great.

Mercedes : But we need her for the second act.

Will : Ill just have to go out there and tell them we had to cut the show short.

"What kind of show choir director is he?" Wes raged. "Cut the show short, that is why we have backups people!"

Everyone is disappointed.

Will : Hey, guys. You were great. Dont worry.

Rachel enters at that moment.

Will : There will be other performances.

Rachel : Excuse me? I think I might have a solution. In show business, when a star cant perform, her understudy steps in.

"Thank you!"

Rachel : Id be happy to go in for April, if youd let me.

Mercedes : Since when are you willing to be an understudy?

Rachel : Since I quit the play.

Kurt : Really? Why?

Rachel : I realized being a star didnt make me feel as special as being your friend. If Id let you down when you needed me the most, Id never forgive myself. I know all the words to the song.

Quinn : You dont know the choreography.

Santana approving.

Finn : Then were going to have to give her a lot of help out there.

Finn smiling to Rachel.

Will : Go get in your costume.

AUDITORIUM-

Will joining Emma next to her seat.

Will : Excuse-me!

Emma, concerned when the cast joins the scene.

Caaaaa-aaaaan

Finn sang the opening line

"Oooh, Queen!"

anybody find me somebody to love?

"Kurt was a little late on the head turn." Blaine noticed.

"At least he ditched the fanny pack."

"At least they ditched the lewd choreography."

Each morning I get up I die a little
Can barely stand on my feet
Take a look in the mirror and cry
Lord what youre doing to me
I have spent all my years in believing you
But I just cant get no relief, Lord!
Somebody, somebody
Can anybody find me somebody to love?

The Warblers began harmonizing along with the show.

I work hard every day of my life
I work till I ache in my bones
At the end I take home my hard earned pay all on my own -
I get down on my knees
And I start to pray
Till the tears run down from my eyes
Lord - somebody - somebody
Can anybody find me - somebody to love?

(He works hard)

Everyday - I try and I try and I try -
But everybody wants to put me down
They say Im goin crazy
They say I got a lot of water in my brain
Got no common sense
I got nobody left to believe
Yeah - yeah yeah yeah

Oh Lord
Somebody - somebody
Can anybody find me somebody to love?

Got no feel, I got no rhythm
I just keep losing my beat
Im ok, Im alright
Aint gonna face no defeat
I just gotta get out of this prison cell
Someday Im gonna be free, Lord!

Find me somebody to love

Artie solos the next lines while playing electric guitar

"Woo! Go Artie!" Jeff called. He turned to Nick, clutching his hands. "Hes multi-talented." He was star struck.

And now Im losing my boyfriend to a handicapped television show nerd. Nick thought.

Can anybody find me somebody to love?

The entire New directions are a hit on stage in front of an appreciative audience and Emma is very excited.

END

"YEAH!"

"Woo!

The boys cheered.