March 1, 2013, 3:15 p.m.
Let's Play Pretend: Valentine's Day
M - Words: 3,495 - Last Updated: Mar 01, 2013 Story: Complete - Chapters: 12/12 - Created: Feb 18, 2013 - Updated: Apr 13, 2022 1,823 0 3 0 0
Valentine's Day is approaching fast and it's the first time since his epic crush on his friend Amy in middle school that Blaine is actually excited about it. He's got someone to surprise this year – he's got two people who matter to him and need to know it. And it would be easy and wonderful and so natural – almost all of his friends are excitedly preparing dates and songs and gifts for their boyfriends and girlfriends, it's all they talk about lately – except no one can know.
So much has changed since the West Side Story opening night, and yet, some things never changed at all. Everyone knows Blaine is friends with the Hummelberrys now; some people even guess that he has a little crush, though their suspicions are firmly focused on Rachel.
But people talking and guessing is one thing, and the official picture is another – and the true nature of their relationship has to remain a tightly guarded secret. Whatever Blaine prepares for Valentine's Day, it can be in no way public. What's more, it has to be subtle enough that even if Rachel and Kurt's parents stumble upon it, it won't raise suspicions that anything more than friendship is going on.
And that's what makes it complicated.
Blaine spends a week planning and thinking, discarding idea after idea. He wants his gift to be original and personal, created just for them; something unconventional and thoughtful, but not over the top. And it needs to speak of affection and attraction, but without using the word love.
Of course, it's everywhere now, especially this time of year – a word so overused and thrown about that it's hard to find a way around it. But that's exactly why he wants to avoid it. He knows most of his friends think nothing of showering their girlfriends and boyfriends, no matter how temporary, with hearts and love cards and I love you's. But Blaine has always seen love as something precious, so much more than just a word, and even with everything Rachel and Kurt make him feel, he's not quite there yet. He wants to be absolutely certain, needs to know this is it, before he can tell someone he loves them. And until then, even a silly card with the word love, or lyrics of a song that use it, just doesn't feel right.
When he finds it at last, an idea so perfect it makes him do a little victory dance right in the middle of the kitchen, there's still one problem left. He can pass them the gift in secret, but the song, while innocent, would just make people talk and speculate if he sang it in Glee during their Valentine's Day's assignment, no matter what he would or wouldn't say.
It takes some more scheming and a few hours in his empty house with the piano and a microphone and some pretty paper, but then it's done, and Blaine must admit he is actually proud of himself. The gift, sealed in a thick hand-made envelope, feels just right. Now he just needs to deliver it discreetly.
In all of his preoccupation with the perfect gift, Blaine never stopped to think that Rachel and Kurt might want to get him something, too. It probably says something about his perception of their relationship, how he feels honored to be accepted and wanted by them, and not entirely certain what he did to deserve it. So he freezes for a moment, surprised, when Rachel takes a plain brown box out of her bag and puts it in his open locker as soon as they meet on Valentine's Day morning. She laughs quietly at his bewildered expression.
"Happy Valentine's Day, silly. Don't open it until you're home."
Blaine hurries to hide the box behind the mess of books in the locker, his cheeks warm, and he's pretty sure he's still blushing when he faces them again.
"Thank you. I've got something for you too, just... later. Not in public." His package is nowhere near as discreet as the box – the choice of sparkly red paper for the envelope might have been a bit of overkill.
Kurt nods, grinning, and gestures towards an empty classroom. "Come on, I have a surprise for you."
Kurt seems bouncy today, excited, and as soon as they're seated, he puts a small paper bag in front of Blaine. It looks like any other of his baked goods packages and Blaine raises a curious eyebrow as he takes the bag and opens it – and then the scent hits him, making him gasp.
"Anise cookies." Kurt confirms, suddenly bashful. "I'm not sure if they're actually like those your grandma used to make, but I searched for recipes that fit your description, and modified them some, and... I hope they're okay. I've never tried making anything with anise before, so I'm not sure."
"You remembered." Something catches in Blaine's throat.
"Of course I did. It was something important you shared, how could I not?"
Kurt looks adorable, slightly flustered, and Blaine really, really wants to hug him senseless right now.
His grandma passed away over a year ago, and her anise cookies are a memory as old as Blaine can remember. They were his favorite, so she made them every time Blaine came to visit her in Florida – which wasn't often enough – and the taste was something that always spelled happiness and safety for him, no matter what. Blaine's mom tried to recreate the recipe, but hers were never quite the same. These, however–
"Oh my god, how did you do it?" They look a bit different, but the familiar taste is like a flashback to the old sunny kitchen where Blaine spent long hours, singing loudly with his grandma, helping her with dinner, drinking hot cocoa, or just talking about whatever was on his mind. It's something Blaine lost all hope of experiencing ever again, and maybe he should be embarrassed about the sting of tears in his eyes, but he can't bring himself to care. "They're perfect, Kurt. They're just like I remember."
Kurt's smile is so bright and happy that it seems to fill the whole room. "I think it's the modifications, no actual recipe sounded exactly right, but you gave me enough details to work with. There are crushed anise seeds instead of an extract, and some crushed black pepper, a little lemon – I wrote it all down, I'll give you the recipe so that you can always have them when... when you miss her."
Kurt's eyes are momentarily shadowed with sadness, his voice breaking just slightly at the end, and suddenly Blaine remembers: he knows all too well what it feels like to lose someone you loved.
The need to pull Kurt into a hug is overwhelming, public setting be damned.
"So are you planning to sing anything in Glee today?" Rachel's cheerful voice breaks the mood and Blaine is half-glad because he was about four seconds from doing or saying something he really shouldn't, not here – and probably not yet.
"No. I would, but –" he shrugs
"Yeah. I know." Rachel sighs dramatically. "I think it's the first time I don't have anything ready for an assignment, but no matter how I tried, I couldn't find a song that wouldn't reveal too much. Oh well. I'll let others shine for a change."
They all laugh and the atmosphere is light again, but something in Blaine's chest has shifted, a tiny, gentle change that he doesn't understand yet, but he suspects may mean a lot.
Blaine hasn't had so much fun on Valentine's Day in years. Even with the secrecy, the siblings are all silly and flirty today. Rachel turns the seductress mode on and off smoothly, just enough to tease; Kurt gives him bedroom eyes whenever he can get away with it, making Blaine's knees go weak and his mouth dry. How does he do that, and within a single hour – going from melting Blaine completely with emotions to making him hard and desperate with one look?
Both Rachel and Blaine get some secret Valentine cards and heart candy (plus, in Blaine's case, one very clear invitation of not entirely platonic variety that he politely declines), but it's nothing to Kurt's fare. He's being positively showered with little gifts all day, heart-bearing messages and, in one case, a huge gift basket with sweets and a big pink plushy kitten (that's Sugar for you; no one can say she doesn't go all the way with her affections). Most of those come from blushing, starry-eyed freshman and sophomore girls who look at Kurt with awe and shy smiles, and giggle as they flit away. Kurt seems completely overwhelmed, stunned by the attention and uncertain what to do with it at all. His wide-eyed disbelief is absolutely adorable.
"He's never had that before." Rachel leans toward Blaine in the choir room as they both watch, with entirely too much amusement, how Kurt's trying to deal with Sugar's enthusiastic flirting attempts. "He only really got so... you know, buff and hot over the summer. Girls never used to come on to him before. Oh, I'm going to tease him so much about it!" She grins and Blaine can't hold in a snort. Mischief looks good on her.
Glee is like a love song festival today, and none of the couples in the room seem to care about PDA in the slightest – not that they usually do, but today it seems more obnoxious than ever.
But Blaine has a bigger problem than that. The gift envelope is still in his bag – he forgot all about it in light of Kurt's cookie surprise in the morning, and all throughout the day there was absolutely no privacy to be found anywhere, every nook and cranny occupied by couples. He hoped to convince the siblings to get a ride home with him and give them the package in the car, but it turned out their mom is picking them up today, so there goes his plan B. Now what?
Now, it seems, he'll have to do a little locker break-in. Although, is it even a break-in when he knows the combination, having seen it in use dozens of times? A little trip to the bathroom in between songs – the hallways are empty and silent at this hour – and five minutes later Blaine's back in the choir room, proud of his stealth.
The envelope is in Kurt's locker, front and centre, when they go to pick up their books after Glee, and Kurt's eyes widen as he takes in the tiny Rachel & Kurt on the sealed flap. There are a few people from New Directions still around, so he just tucks the envelope carefully into his bag and only arches his eyebrow at Blaine when they're out in the parking lot. Blaine grins and mouths Happy Valentine's Day, wishing he could see their reactions to his little gift.
The brown box is sealed, so Blaine can't smell anything until he's in his bedroom, cutting the tape and opening the flaps – but then the spicy aroma of anise cookies raises like a heavenly cloud to permeate the air. There's another, bigger bag of them inside – clear cellophane tied closed with a piece of red ribbon, a piece of stiff red paper attached. Blaine reaches for it with a smile and sure enough, it's the recipe Kurt promised him, penned neatly in his curved script. On the back, there's a little note: Attempt #1 of however many. I'll find the right one for you, I promise. K. Blaine already knows he'll keep the card for himself, only making a copy for his mom to have in the kitchen.
It's the most thoughtful gift he'd ever received, one that keeps on giving, and it's not even the only thing in the package.
A black box lies on top of a pink envelope, and Blaine opens it, curious – and gasps.
The bowtie nestled in the box is vibrant red, with a subtle pattern of tiny black musical notes. The fabric is smooth and soft to the touch and Blaine can't resist taking it out and holding it up to the collar of the navy button-up he's wearing today. It looks just right – not too flashy, sort of understated, but classy.
He doesn't wear bowties often, usually choosing simple style, bordering on smart casual, but every now and then, when he feels like having some fun with his clothes, he pulls out one of the few he has. Red will go perfectly with many of his shirts – his wardrobe is full of white and navy and grey. Blaine has no doubt the bowtie was Kurt's idea – it's so much like him to notice things like that; another proof of his thoughtfulness.
It's only when he's putting the bowtie back in the box that Blaine finds the note that was hidden underneath. He opens the plain, cream-colored card, smiling as he reads.
Blaine –
Every time I see you wearing a bowtie, I just want to kiss you breathless. You have no idea how adorable you look in them, or how hot it is that you can actually tie them, do you?
I saw this fabric and I couldn't resist. It would be perfect with that black shirt that accentuates your shoulders so well, the one you were wearing when I first saw you.
I hope you like it – Kurt
His cheeks feel warm when he puts away the note. Black shirt... he knows which one Kurt means; he remembers wearing it the first day of school, and then not until recently because a button fell off and he kept forgetting to sew it back on.
Does it mean Kurt noticed him back then already? That's pretty... wow.
And wait, Kurt said he couldn't resist the fabric, does it mean he made this bowtie? It's hard to believe, it looks so perfect – but sure enough, as Blaine looks closer, he notices the tiny K.H. embroidered discreetly in golden thread, on the inside of the band that goes around his neck. Suddenly the gift feels even more precious: Kurt made it. With his own hands. He thought about Blaine when he saw the fabric, he spent who knows how much time planning and sewing it, just for him.
Wow. His own gift seems so silly right now.
Once he finally stops dancing around the room in elation, the piece of fabric held to his face – and he'd swear he can smell just a hint of Kurt's cologne on it – Blaine reaches for the envelope. It's sealed with a single golden star sticker, and when he opens it, a piece of pink paper slips out first, Rachel's loopy handwriting on top.
Just a little memento of our time together. Happy Valentine's Day!
There's a photo in the envelope, stuck to a piece of golden cardboard that makes a frame, and Blaine can't stop a smile spreading on his face when he sees it. He doesn't know where Rachel found it, but he remembers her pestering everyone who took pictures during West Side Story rehearsals and performances because she wanted to make a scrapbook. This is definitely one of the photos she must have found, and the only one of the three of them together Blaine has ever seen.
It was taken backstage, after one of the shows, and both Blaine and Rachel look a bit tired and mussed, but exhilarated. Rachel is sitting in front of the mirror, turned towards Blaine and Kurt who both stand next to her, and they're all laughing at something, looking happy and unrestrained. It's a lovely picture, even if it's just a candid, a snapshot with a too dark background and people behind them, and Rachel's right. It's a perfect memento, something he'll definitely treasure.
With a smile, he puts the simple frame on his bedside table.
---
"Kurt, baby, why are you crying?"
Kurt looks up from the flower he's holding delicately in his palm – a beautiful, purple origami iris – and quickly dries his eyes with a sleeve. He hasn't even realized he teared up.
"No, it's nothing. Just... the song."
"The song is lovely, and Blaine performs it near perfectly, but it's not one to cry to, is it?"
It's not, not really – in fact, it's one of the most positive, affirming songs Kurt has ever heard. Which doesn't change the fact that he felt his throat tighten as soon as they put on the untitled CD that was in the envelope along with the origami flowers and he heard Blaine's voice singing the opening lines to the accompaniment of the piano.
"I know, but... no one has ever sung to me before, you know? No one but you, at least. I didn't know it would feel like this. And... he recorded the song for us, Rach, to tell us we make him smile. And what happens when we–"
She turns from her corkboard where she's been placing her own flower, a pretty pink rose, and drops to the floor by Kurt's side. He carefully puts away the iris before letting her gather him in a tight embrace.
"Shh, it will be fine. Everything will be fine."
"Promise?" The tears are flowing again, and Kurt doesn't stop them anymore. Rachel kisses his wet, salty lips.
"I promise."
---
The morning after Valentine's Day Blaine arrives at school almost an hour before classes begin, impatient and giddy to see Kurt and Rachel, to thank them and learn if they liked his little gift. The hallways are almost deserted, but they're already there by his locker, bright eyes and brighter smiles, and Blaine's heart stutters at the already-familiar scene in a way that seems new. They have at least a half hour in the empty classroom before other students will start to drift in, but it's just an illusion of privacy, they can't let themselves slip, and Blaine's fingers and lips are itching.
Yes, they loved the song and the flowers, he learns, and Kurt's face in particular is softer, affected somehow, and Blaine can't think about it too much because he'll forget all about where they are and what they're not allowed to do. So he thanks them for their gifts instead, tries to tell them exactly how perfect he found them, but nothing seems like enough, they're just words that can't really express the entirety of his feelings.
So he keeps Kurt behind in the locker room after PE that afternoon, keeps him with a shortest whisper of a plea as they move out of the gym. Miraculously no one dawdles today, no one stays behind or pays them any attention, and soon they're the last two in there, both still not showered and sweaty, and so hot against each other as they hide in the dark corner and press together, frantic and desperate, well aware just how little time they have and determined not to waste any. It's the first time in Blaine's life that he comes in his pants, which is glorious and shocking, and then uncomfortable as hell, and thank god they're going to shower and change anyway. Kurt's face, so bare and stunningly undone in the light of day, is something he'll never be able to wipe off his memory.
It isn't until that evening that Blaine allows himself to verbalize to himself what's been nibbling at his brain all day.
Somewhere between last night and this morning, something seems to have switched in his mind.
He no longer thinks about the Hummelberrys as a unit now. They're not Rachel-and-Kurt anymore, they're two very separate people, with potentially very separate emotions attached to them. There's Rachel and there's Kurt. Or maybe even, there's Kurt, and then Rachel. And it's a little scary and maybe a lot beautiful, but for now, it mostly makes Blaine's head spin, so he leaves it at that and thinks: time will tell.
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CHAPTER ART by HACHI (click!)
Comments
Ugh, more clues that something baaaad is going to happen to Blaine.
Their valentines gifts are precious!
This story has left my heart racing, can't wait for the next instalment.