15. COMPLETE

Being naked in Kurt’s presence became easy and natural quickly. Blaine made sure to get changed in their bedroom in the mornings and evenings, and Kurt never missed a chance to watch him, wide-eyed and adorably awed every single time. He looked, but never touched; never even coming close. Just like he’d said – it was up to Blaine where he wanted to take this next and when.

It felt so good to be comfortable in his own skin again, to feel safe opening up even that little bit more. And yet, after several days, being naked alone wasn’t enough anymore. Feeling Kurt’s eyes caress and touch every bit of his skin, Blaine felt more and more hungry for his hands to do the same; for his lips to follow. Blaine kept prolonging those moments – pretending to be looking for just the right shirt in the closet, or getting caught up in responding to a text. Honestly, he just wanted to linger in this new type of intimacy a little longer. The fear wasn’t gone, but somehow it had moved from being a huge boulder commanding Blaine’s attention to something small and shriveled at the back of his mind. Occasionally it weakly whispered danger when he dared to imagine what it might be like to go further.

Then one day, just as Kurt was turning the water on in the shower, his imagination said screw this, go try it yourself. Before he had time to hesitate, Blaine was naked and entering the bathroom. Kurt’s voice soaring in a song and the sound of water drowned Blaine’s footsteps, so when he slid the glass door open and stepped into the steamy cabin, Kurt literally jumped. And then almost slid to the floor when he realized what was happening.

They were taking a shower, together. Naked. Blaine knew perfectly well this was one of Kurt’s biggest fantasies.

It was hard to see clearly through the steam and the multitude of emotions on Kurt’s face, but Blaine was pretty sure happiness, pride and love were among the most prominent. These, and undeniable arousal. Blaine felt a little turned on too, but he wasn’t sure how far he wanted to go yet – he’d decide as they went. The only thing he was certain he wanted was to be touched – anywhere, everywhere, standing bare with his boyfriend. And what better way than doing what showers were designed for?

Blaine picked up the bottle of Kurt’s favorite shower gel, poured some into his own cupped hand and asked.

“May I?”

Kurt nodded, breathless, like he couldn’t believe this was happening.

Blaine spread the gel between his palms and stood behind Kurt to glide them over his impossibly smooth skin, heated and pink from the water. He slid his hands over the planes of Kurt’s back, from the nape of his neck down his spine, massaging the tension of a long day out. Running his fingers down Kurt’s arms, dragging lightly over the crooks of his elbows was a sure way to make Kurt shiver and gasp; tonight was no different. Kurt leaned back against him, the slight pressure of his ass on Blaine’s cock making them both moan. But it wasn’t about sex, not yet anyway. Blaine kept going, spreading the lather down Kurt’s chest, his stomach, hips. His hands on Kurt’s hard dick, his balls, in his pubic hair were quick and efficient, just washing, nothing more, but Kurt whimpered, his hips stuttering forward to get more pressure, more slide, more anything. 

He would have to wait, though. Blaine moved to stand before Kurt and without a word, dropped to his knees. He poured some more gel and slid his hands up Kurt’s legs to the crease of his thighs, fingers stroking, dragging. By the time he was done, Kurt was panting above him, moaning almost constantly.

Blaine stood again, his heart pounding, breath hitching. Did he dare do it? Would Kurt let him? Standing in front of his boyfriend, he lay his slick hands on Kurt’s hips and slowly, giving him time to protest, slid his hands over Kurt’s ass. Dragging his fingers in languid circles, Blaine covered the perfect muscles in lather and, without stopping to think, slid his thumb, feather-light, over the cleft, all the way down to Kurt’s slightly parted thighs.

Blaine had never heard Kurt sound so turned on, so desperate before. He was pushing his hips forward, until he found the friction he needed against Blaine’s stomach and cried out. Breathing softly against Kurt’s ear, Blaine whispered.

“Tell me if you want me to stop.”

His right hand was still between Kurt’s thighs at this point, stroking lightly over his perineum. Blaine had to support Kurt with an arm around his waist, he was shaking so hard. He continued the way he’d started, just washing. Moving his hand up, between Kurt’s ass cheeks, slowly but surely, fingers dragging over the soft skin there, over the tight bud of his hole for the first time. Once again, down now – just to be thorough.

And then Kurt moaned Blaine’s name, pressing hard against his stomach, keening and pulsing, and spilling hot all over Blaine’s skin.

Oh. Oh. Just from that?

Wow.

Kurt leaned against him, completely relaxed, for a long while until his breathing returned to normal. When he finally raised his head from Blaine’s shoulder, his eyes looked happy, sated and… shy? Kissing Blaine’s lips softly, he asked.

“Would you let me do it too? I mean, wash you.”

Blaine smiled, hardly any uncertainty left.

“I’d like that.”

Kurt’s hands were magic as they smoothed over Blaine’s skin, covering every single inch of it in lather. He mirrored Blaine’s actions from before, languidly, conscientiously washing his back and shoulders, his torso and arms. By the time Kurt’s hand slid down from his waist, Blaine was already humming with pleasure. It felt good and safe; his cock between Kurt’s slippery fingers was hard and eager.

When Kurt knelt down on the shower floor, Blaine expected him to do what he’d done – just keep washing him. So Kurt’s lips on his freshly-rinsed cock were a surprise, but oh – definitely not an unwanted one. He loved Kurt’s lips – pink and full, they looked amazing, stretched over his thickness like this, and the things Kurt could do with his tongue were pretty much indescribable, at least in any coherent way. Blaine’s moans and whimpers intensified even more with firm, practiced fingers stroking his thighs, the back of his knees, the sensitive arches of his feet.

By the time Kurt’s hands traveled back up, Blaine was pretty much a mess – want singing in his blood and tensing his muscles, making him forget his inhibitions and just feel. For the last couple of minutes Kurt had been focusing his attention on Blaine’s sack, licking, laving, sucking gently – something they’d barely done so far, because clothing was always in the way – and it was a whole new, amazing world of pleasure that took them both by surprise. Blaine was actually so close to coming that he groaned loudly with disappointment when Kurt’s perfect lips moved away.

But when his boyfriend stood up and pressed up against him, leaning in for a kiss, Blaine realized that he wasn’t the only one with throbbing erection anymore. It looked like Kurt enjoyed taking care of Blaine just as much as Blaine loved his ministrations. Kurt dropped his lips to suck on Blaine’s neck now, speaking between the kisses.

“I’d like to try something, if you don’t mind.” Blaine could only moan his assent when Kurt’s tongue swirled over that perfect spot under his jaw. “After I’m done with what I’ve been doing here.”

With that, Kurt’s hands were on his hips, clutching lightly, unmoving, and Blaine tensed. This was the moment he was afraid of, but wanted at the same time, if only to try and snap out of that fear. To prove to himself that he could – and would – trust Kurt. He didn’t feel forced or pushed – nothing like that. But letting himself to be touched like this wasn’t exactly a turn-on. Nothing about his ass was. It was more about turning a trigger into another safe, normal thing, so that he could stop jumping out of his skin every time Kurt’s hand slid there in the heat of the moment.

Kurt was clearly waiting for permission, so Blaine took a deep breath and nodded, his erection already weakening. Slowly, lovingly, his boyfriend’s hands smoothed over his ass as Kurt groaned against the skin of his neck.

“God, Blaine, you have no idea what you are doing to me, do you? You’re so hot, so perfect, I could look at you forever and never get tired. I seriously regret that I only have two hands, because I want to be able to touch you anywhere and everywhere at the same time. I want to kiss and lick you all over. And your ass, god… Don’t even get me started on your ass. It’s so round and firm and perfect; my hands fit like they were created to be here, and I’m rambling now because... you...”

Blaine wasn’t sure if it was because of Kurt’s reaction or his words, but he felt himself relaxing into where Kurt’s hands kept stroking and circling, as if unable to get enough. Surprisingly, it felt fine. Good even – not the sexual, arousing type of good; simply the pleasure of loving touch. He laughed softly to himself, happy. So far, so good. He thought he was ready for one last step.

“Kurt, you can-“

Eyes, blurry grey in the steamy air, looked up at Blaine, stunned.

“You… you want me to touch you… there?”

“Only if you want to.” He answered hastily. “And I can’t promise I won’t stop you. But… yeah. Please.”

Never breaking eye contact, Kurt smoothed his right hand down the crack of Blaine’s ass, just touching feather-light over skin, nothing more. Then he slid it up, gliding his still slippery fingers between the cheeks and Blaine stopped breathing. Kurt’s fingers were gone before he was able to fully measure his reaction, so he whispered.

“Again.”

Kurt gathered some more lather off his ass and slowly, gently repeated the movement, up and down. Now that Blaine knew what to expect, it wasn’t such a shock. And while he still tensed all over, it wasn’t bad. There was no fear in his reaction, like he expected there to be, just an unpleasant memory that made him cringe a little. There was no actual pleasure or arousal either, but honestly, he’d be really surprised if there was.

Yes, he could get used to this.

Kurt was watching him with anxious eyes and Blaine smiled.

“I’m good. Not turned on, but good. I think… I think I may get to like this, one day.”

Kurt laughed, delighted, and pressed closer, diving into a hot, passionate kiss. Lips sliding, tongues dancing around each other and the perfect contours of Kurt’s body molded firmly against his own, skin to skin – it felt safe and perfect. Without the distraction of nerves, Blaine found himself react again, immediately. Kurt murmured against his lips.

“Let me do something about the not turned on part, will you? I told you I wanted to try something.”

“Okay?”

Without moving away, Kurt shifted his hips a little bit, slotted them just right and… Holy shit. Suddenly there was so much of everything; the perfect drag of slick skin on skin, nerves alighting like New York at night where the heads of their cocks pressed and slid together, Kurt’s hands wandering across his lower back while his lips roamed Blaine’s neck and throat. The heat, the water touching his skin like hundreds of tiny fingers, hot and careless, the sounds there were both making. Lost in the sensations, Blaine found himself unable to tell where he ended and everything else began. He was happy to drift on the currents of sensual pleasure until they drowned him, only to carry him gently to a shore of satisfied exhaustion.

They were both breathing hard, spent and suddenly overheated in the steamed-up shower, but grinning like crazy. It was so much, such a big step forward, opening up so many new possibilities for them, removing barriers they’d been stumbling over all this time.

They quickly rinsed themselves clean and Kurt reached with a slightly shaky hand to turn off the water. They kept laughing, light and happy whenever they looked at each other while drying themselves off. Then, already in the bedroom, Kurt smiled.

“So, can we sleep naked tonight?”

Blaine considered it for a moment before shaking his head.

“Give me some more time, okay? I don’t know why, but I feel like sleeping naked makes me even more vulnerable than what we just did, somehow. But soon, I promise.”

“Of course, whenever you want to. I love you, you know?”

“I know. I love you too.”

It took several days, in the end. One night, dead tired after a hard day, Blaine just slumped against Kurt and mumbled.

“Undress me?”

Kurt looked surprised for about a second, then did just that, with loving fingers caressing skin, shedding one piece of clothing after the other, until Blaine stood there completely naked and mildly surprised.

“Hm. This undressing thing is actually nice with you.”

He fell into the bed as he stood, whining for cuddles and then falling asleep in seconds, warm and safe in his boyfriend’s – his lover’s – arms. The nightmares were once again a thing of past, so that when he woke up in the morning, he was rested and rejuvenated. Kurt’s arms holding him close, Kurt’s thigh over his bare hip felt like a blessing. Like it was sealing something, finally closing a dark chapter of Blaine’s life for good.

He felt complete. Kurt had him. He’d proven so many times that he could be trusted, showed and told him time and time again, and Blaine finally believed him. Really, truly believed. They were forever. Together, they were complete.

Moving his hips and feeling a brush of Kurt’s morning erection against his own, Blaine smiled. There were things he wanted to try too. Sliding closer, he enveloped both their cocks in his hand. Kurt’s eyes opened and shined a wide, hazy green in the morning sunlight.