CHAPTER 23

Life was amazing.

As the days passed, Kurt felt the deep, calming sense of happiness settle over him. He loved waking up every day to Blaine's good morning texts – and yes, he'd returned to a normal day schedule; or at least what was normal for him. He loved that Blaine usually came over right after school. If Kurt was working, he just dropped by the studio with a quick kiss (and sometimes a little gift – some flowers, a box of fresh strawberries, a cup of coffee), and then went to practice on the piano for an hour or two. Now that he'd been accepted into the music program, he could no longer let himself slack off and only play every now and then, so the fact the two of them had gotten back together saved Cooper from some major remodeling and piano purchase expenses.

(Once, Kurt joked Blaine only wanted him back for the access to his piano. Blaine pouted. Kurt kissed the pout away.)

In the evenings they usually made dinner together or went out to eat, sometimes with Cooper or even Sebastian, but mostly alone. Their relationship was still too fresh to want to share their time with anyone else, and Kurt loved how every night felt like a date. They'd go to see a movie, or a show on Broadway sometimes; they'd take long walks through the city or hide on the roof of Kurt's apartment building to stargaze – as much as was possible with all the city lights around – and talk and kiss until they were breathless. Some evenings they stayed inside and just watched TV or cuddled on the couch, busy being happy and in love.

Somewhere between ten and midnight, Blaine always went home for the night, and there were proper goodnight kisses and promises of tomorrow, and sometimes shy mentions about maybe, one day soon, Blaine staying overnight.

It wasn't like they were denying themselves completely or joining a celibacy club. It just felt right, somehow, to take their time now when their relationship last year had been so frantic and rushed. They kissed and touched a lot, rediscovering the joy of being so close again, but the pace of their physical relationship was more like it might have been in high school than anything Kurt had ever experienced. And since he'd never had a boyfriend in high school – the delicious frustration of never enough, the teasing and tempting, and the restrictions of school days and curfew for Blaine were new and strangely exciting.

They finally slept together – actually slept, the night after Blaine's graduation: spooning, with their underwear on – before they even got off together once. Not much before, considering they woke up to the summer freedom and together and want, but still. From there, it still took about a month to get to the point where hands and lips and tongues had full, unrestricted access. By this point Blaine stayed at Kurt's roughly every other night, since there were no early morning classes to worry about.

It was one such night in early July, as they lay in bed tangled loosely together, not quite sleeping, but too lazy and relaxed to move, when Blaine asked casually, curiosity coloring his voice.

"Kurt, do you ever, um... bottom?"

And Kurt knew it was a simple request for information, because this was what they did now. They talked, they asked, they were honest and open. Never assuming, never hiding stuff just because they thought the other might disapprove of something. This was part of their unwritten promise to each other.

So he tried to answer in a neutral tone, he really did, but the way they were laying was suddenly anything but innocent, Blaine's bare skin hot and so close, and Kurt's breath hitched a little.

"I used to, a lot. Though sadly not for years now."

"Why?" Blaine nuzzled closer into the crook of his neck, his breath tickling the question over  sensitive skin.

"Because it's something I could never do unless I trusted the other person absolutely. And trust is kind of out of the equation when you only have occasional sex with strangers."

He waited for the inevitable question – why he'd never even mentioned it last summer, what it said about his trust in Blaine. But it didn't come. Instead, Blaine said softly, after a pause.

"Kurt?", and when Kurt hummed in response, "Can I finger you?"

***

Blaine had done this – only to himself, but still – plenty of times, so he was mostly prepared for the tightness and the heat, and the way Kurt's walls clenched around his fingers. What he wasn't prepared for was how quickly and perfectly Kurt opened up for him, asking for the third finger on a broken moan mere minutes after they started; or how stunningly undone he looked and sounded.

Having Kurt out of control, a blabbering mess, was not exactly new, though Blaine was certain it would never not get to him on a cellular level. But this was more – this was having his older, so much more experienced boyfriend thrashing in the sheets, arching and sweaty and flushed pink, with just the slow, controlled movements of Blaine's fingers. This was having Kurt chant Blaine's name like a spell, and beg like he'd never heard him beg before. It was intoxicating. And so very, very hot.

"Fuck, Blaine, I... need more, need... Fuck please, Bee, pleasepleaseplease –"

With a confidence that was new and exhilarating, Blaine skimmed his free hand along Kurt's leaking cock, eliciting a whimper as Kurt pushed harder onto his fingers.

"Tell me what you want."

"You, inside. Want to... to ride you ohgodyesthere –" Blaine's fingers twitched at the mental image, grazing just right, apparently, and then he pulled out. Kurt whined at the loss, but Blaine was already away, reaching to the bedside drawer where he knew there were condoms.

Kurt's brain caught up when Blaine opened the little packet.

"You want me to? Really?"

His voice was high and so breathless, his eyes wide. Blaine managed to pull on the condom, moaning as he stroked himself, his hands only slightly shaky.

"God yes."

The speed with which Kurt pushed him down on his back and straddled him, pressing him into the mattress as he kissed him fervently, melted away any anxiety Blaine might have felt. And then Kurt was up on his knees, dripping lubricant from the little bottle all over Blaine's cock with an impatient whine before positioning himself and –

Sinking down. In one slow, unbroken movement, with his eyes squeezed shut and his lips parted in pleasure, a low, raw sound vibrating all through him. He was panting softly when he bottomed out and paused, looking so enraptured and hungry for it, his pupils full-blown and dark red patches high on his cheeks, that Blaine had to bite his lip, hard, to stop himself from coming on the spot.

Because, it turned out, what felt wonderfully hot and tight around his fingers was simply indescribable around his cock.

"Oh god, I missed this so much." Kurt rolled his hips gently and moaned.

Blaine gasped as sparks of pleasure shot up and out, the tingling reaching as far as his fingertips. He wanted to make it perfect for Kurt, wanted to give him everything, for as long as he wanted, but already he felt overwhelmed with the sensations. And when Kurt started a slow, fluid rhythm, Blaine could only warn between the moans.

"Kurt... don't hold back. I... god, it won't last long."

It was embarrassing, but Kurt only laughed breathlessly.

"Oh, I'm sure it won't. It's been years, Bee, I can't–" The rest was lost in a helpless keen as Kurt snapped his hips down harder.

It didn't last long, indeed, but the few minutes were filled with such perfection – sensations, pictures and sounds – that it could easily fill hours. Blaine tumbled over the edge the second he felt Kurt clench around him with a broken cry. Fighting to keep his eyes open through his own orgasm, unwilling to lose a second of the spectacle that was Kurt coming all over his hand and stomach, Blaine suddenly understood why this was such a big deal.

He'd never felt so close to anyone before.

That night brought an obvious question back into Blaine's focus and the desire – want – need that had haunted him for weeks last summer came back with a vengeance. He didn't bring the topic up yet, though, because the next two weeks were busy for both of them. Kurt was finishing up a small collection for La Nuit, barely leaving his sewing room for days before he went to Boston to oversee the rest of the process. Blaine, in the meantime, was searching for a job.

Cooper had offered to pay for his freshman year of college so that he could focus on studying, and they'd agreed that Blaine would contribute half of the tuition in the following years, be it through scholarships, work or a student loan. It was stunningly generous of his brother and Blaine protested at first, but Cooper just told him to shut up and let him support his little brother for once. Still, Blaine wanted at least a semi-permanent job to have money of his own and be able to help with the bills sometimes. He was not a child anymore, after all.

He ended up going back to The Tipsy Hippo for two nights a week for now and, through Sebastian's recommendation, he was set to become a piano tutor for a few kids come September.

Then Kurt came back from Boston and nothing else seemed important anymore. It felt a little insane, to miss each other quite so much when they were only apart for 104 hours (and 23 minutes, not that Blaine had been counting), but there wasn't time to question it as they fell into each other's arms, not ready to resurface for hours.

Two days later, Kurt brought up the subject of the purple dildo.

Blaine hadn't actually used it since the afternoon Kurt had seen him – the day they'd gotten back together – and the thought of doing so with Kurt actually there this time made his head spin and his heart pound with anticipation. He brought the toy over the next day.

And oh yes, having Kurt control the angle and speed of it while Blaine knelt on the bed, holding on to the rungs of the headboard and feeling completely, utterly exposed with his ass up in the air and his voice already rough from the sounds he couldn't control, was possibly the most intense thing he'd ever felt.

At least, until Kurt let go of the toy, leaving it sheathed deep inside, only to draw his fingertip slowly over the stretched rim around it.

"God, look at you. So beautiful and open, taking it so perfectly. I wonder if –"

Before he had a chance to finish, the raw, pure need slammed into Blaine full force and there was no way he could stop thinking about it now – about Kurt's cock sliding in place of the toy, filling him even further, fulfilling the fantasy he'd gotten himself off to countless times, never actually believing it would come true.

Well, it could now. At least he hoped so.

"Please take me."

He barely recognized his own voice, strained and breathless, and the few seconds before Kurt reached towards the bedside drawer felt like eternity. The sound of the foil crinkling, Kurt's quiet gasp as he stroked the condom on, the click of the lube bottle – it all came in slow motion to the accompaniment of Blaine's own racing heart.

"Are you sure?"

Of course Kurt would ask, but really, what a silly question. He just moaned desperately and Kurt hummed and reached for the toy again. He moved it a few more times, changing the angle so that Blaine felt it stretch him even more, but then it was gone and the emptiness it left was unbearable, demanding to be filled again.

And then the head of Kurt's cock was there, pushing slow, but insistent against the slight resistance of the muscles, and Blaine relaxed completely for the intrusion that couldn't be more welcome. A tiny shift, a bit of give and Kurt slid in, just the head, and Blaine cried out roughly. Fuck, it hurt for a moment – nothing he didn't expect, that bright flash of too much he knew from the first few times with the dildo that melted away within seconds, leaving the feeling of almost unbearable stretch that he loved so much. Kurt stilled and waited, stroking Blaine's back until his breathing went back to normal. Then he inched slowly further, and the tiny part of Blaine's brain that wasn't fully focused on the full – perfect – Kurt registered the helpless little whimpers Kurt was letting out behind him.

And then he paused, entirely too soon, only to whisper "Come here" and tug gently at Blaine's shoulder. Not sure what he meant, barely able to move, let alone think through the intensity of it, Blaine simply obeyed. He let himself be pulled up and back until he was kneeling between Kurt's knees, Kurt's cock still inside and shifting minutely with every movement, and oh, it made sense. Leaning against Kurt's chest, he settled down into Kurt's lap, the rest of his length sliding in and filling him perfectly while strong arms supported and embraced him.

For a moment, Blaine just stayed like that, motionless, trying to figure out how to breathe and where he ended and Kurt began, and deciding it didn't matter in the slightest, and then he shifted his hips experimentally.

And to think he was so sure he knew intense.

Once he moved, he was unable to stop – fumbling a little at first, a bit ungainly, but Kurt's arms were there, steadying and guiding him, snug around his chest and his hips. Soon he felt Kurt thrust his hips forward to meet every one of Blaine's slides and it couldn't be more perfect. He felt loved and cared for and fucked at the same time.  He pushed faster, causing Kurt's hips to snap up harder as he caught the intention immediately.

He saw sparks behind his closed eyelids when Kurt changed his angle a little, thrusting even deeper, and god, Blaine was so close already. Still, he managed to find his voice somehow.

"What does it do to you, to know that you are my first? That no one else has ever been so close to me, maybe no one ever will?" he rasped, and Kurt was done for. With a helpless keen, he pushed harder, faster, just right, and Blaine lost all words. A moment later he lost all coherent thoughts, too, lost his breath and his hold on reality.

He knew Kurt's hand closed around his cock at some point; he knew his throat was dry and raw from the sounds he'd never made before as he slumped further back against Kurt, his muscles no longer able to support him. The last few perfect, sharp thrusts and the world shattered into a shower of pleasure so bright it was blinding.

Coming down slowly, right into the haze of sleep, Blaine could only repeat I love you, I love you so much over and over again, like a mantra. And the best thing was that Kurt was right there, holding him, his eyes so bright and happy as he answered solemnly, "I love you too."

***

Blaine was asleep by the time Kurt sneaked out to the bathroom for a soft flannel, and he didn't stir at all during the gentle clean-up. Kurt turned off the little lamp and slid into the bed where he settled against Blaine's back, holding him tightly.

And then he cried.

He cried for all the time he'd lost because of his fear, and all the men he shared this experience with when it didn't mean anything at all. For how perfect it felt to make love to Blaine, and how he never wanted to be this close to anyone else, ever again.

He cried because this was it, this was his perfect man, the one he wanted to share his whole life with, which he somehow came to know without a shadow of a doubt.

He cried, because so many things could have gone wrong and stopped them from being together, or even meeting at all. He cried because he was so happy, and so grateful that despite his stupid stubbornness and his mistakes, he'd been given a second chance.

Tears still clinging to his lashes, Kurt finally fell asleep with a serene smile.