CHAPTER 15

After the whole ordeal of that Saturday evening, Blaine felt many things. Shaken. Terrified of losing Kurt if they weren't allowed to see each other, or if Cooper decided he wouldn't deal with the burden he was anymore. Furious at himself for letting himself believe that his brother would accept him no matter what, and for not finding a way to tell him earlier, somehow.

But at the same time, he felt kind of... happy.

Kurt called him his boyfriend. Kurt defended him; said he wouldn't apologize for loving him.

Well, okay, he didn't use the actual word, but he had fought for him, for them; and he had stayed there, strong and sure, holding Blaine's hand, risking the friendship that was so important to him. All for Blaine.

It had to be love, right?

Still, when he got a text barely fifteen minutes after Kurt had left, Blaine had a strong sense of déjà vu that made his blood run cold. This was it. This was Kurt telling him that he was sorry, that Blaine wasn't worth the trouble after all, right? He looked at the phone lying on his desk for a full five minutes before he dared to reach for it and read the text, only to find out it was nothing of the kind. Kurt was just asking if everything was alright, if Cooper had calmed down. How Blaine felt.

After Blaine answered that he was fine, that he would be okay – he realized he was more than that. He was fantastic, in spite of everything. He felt safe and cared for.

The next few days were long, tense and lonely. Even his Sunday performance at the Hippo was moved for another day because of some local celebrity playing that night. But it was okay, Blaine had a ton of books waiting on his Kindle, and while he couldn't go see Kurt, they were texting all the time.

It wasn't like he hadn't known loneliness before, and staying in his room to avoid other family members was nothing new, either. He just hoped the situation would get resolved before his stay in New York came to an end.

***

Kurt sewed.

Ever since coming home that Saturday night, he either sewed or texted, only taking the barest  minimum of time to sleep. Not enough to dream, though, because his mind kept coming up with pictures and fantasies that were too much if he couldn't touch and hold Blaine afterwards.

He thought he might be going a little crazy; then he refused to think. So he sewed.

Soon, all the samples he'd planned for his private designs were ready – work he’d expected to take at least a week done in just over two days – and damn, did they look good.

On Tuesday, in a burst of boldness that might have come from exhaustion, he e-mailed a presentation of the collection to a fashion house he'd always dreamt of working for. He immediately felt stupid for doing so – it was like shooting for the moon – but it was done. Promptly forcing himself not to freak out about it, he went to prepare the perfect outfit instead. It was time to go to the theater and start planning costumes for the new play. And later, it was Blaine's performance night at the Hippo. Cooper could say whatever he wanted, but Kurt would be there, even if they didn't get to talk.

***

It took Cooper three days to get to the point of apologizing.

Truth be told, he didn't need three days. He didn't even need one. Mere hours after his explosion – after he'd heard the front door click quietly shut behind Sebastian; after the incessant buzzing of incoming texts in Blaine's room had given way to soft, sleepy snuffling – Cooper was lying in bed, still awake. Blaine's angry words were running through his head, his face burning with the hard truth they carried. Yes, he'd reacted just like their father would – judging, forbidding, without a pause to listen. It was something he'd always promised himself he wouldn't do, because he knew all too well how much it hurt. And yet – years of programming were still there, ready to kick in.

He felt too ashamed to talk to his brother the next day, so he didn't. It was easy enough, considering how Blaine avoided him all day, but the only thing it got him was another night of too little sleep and too much thinking. Lying in the unforgiving darkness, Cooper recalled the soft lilt of Kurt's voice when he'd said boyfriend, and the bright joy blossoming on Blaine's face when he'd heard it. He remembered Kurt's fierce defense of Blaine. He thought long and hard about his best friend and his little brother; how similar they were, how much good they could give each other. How lonely Kurt was and how desperately Blaine needed true, unwavering acceptance, this all-encompassing care that Kurt was more than capable of providing.

And Blaine was almost eighteen, for fuck's sake. At eighteen, Cooper had already been sexually active for two years, and with no less than three girlfriends. Or was it four? Sure, none of them had been nearing thirty, but did that make it any better? Considering some of the choices they'd made, Cooper had to admit that Kurt was definitely not the worst option. In fact, he was almost certainly better and safer for Blaine than many teenagers would have been. Plus, what really counted – Blaine was in love with him. He'd said so himself, and Cooper felt he knew his brother well enough to be aware that he wouldn't say that lightly. He couldn't be sure if Kurt felt the same, but Seb was right – he clearly felt something.

On Monday evening, fed up with the insomnia and how distracted he'd been all day at work, Cooper tried to talk with Blaine. But he must have done it wrong because with one look at Cooper's face, his brother excused himself back to his room, claiming he needed to practice his tomorrow's set at the Hippo. Okay, so maybe starting with "So are we going to talk about you and Kurt?" was not the best intro.

Eventually, it was the thought of Blaine's performance night that gave Cooper an idea.

On Tuesday, he made sure to come home early, with takeout from Blaine's favorite Chinese place. They ate in silence, both pretending to watch whatever rerun was on TV, until Cooper took the remote and muted it. He spoke without giving Blaine a chance to walk out again.

"How long have you two been... together?"

Blaine shrugged, his eyes still on his plate.

"Depends on how you define being together. Our first official date was the premiere."

Cooper did quick math. So, over three weeks, if he was right. With how often the two of them had been seeing each other, Kurt would have gotten bored long ago if it was just sex. He always did.

"And... does he make you happy? Does he... take care of you? I mean, not just sexually?"

Blaine looked up at him with wide eyes, chopsticks frozen halfway to his mouth, dripping rice. He swallowed hurriedly and nodded.

"Yes. He does. And I'm so happy with him, Coop, you wouldn't believe." His eyes were big and so earnest, no hesitation, nothing hidden.

Cooper nodded and went to put his empty plate in the sink. They didn't speak about it anymore before going to the bar, though Blaine kept looking at him hopefully.

Kurt was already there with a glass of wine, his expression defiant, and Cooper just nodded hello and sat opposite him as if nothing happened. A moment later, Sebastian arrived as if summoned. He could never resist good drama, and after Saturday night he must have been drawn here like a moth to the flame. The three of them didn't talk and it was proof of how solid their friendship was that even in these circumstances the silence didn't feel uncomfortable.

An hour into Blaine's set, Cooper got up quietly and went to the bar to find Tyler, the owner of the Hippo. He had no trouble getting permission for the plan he'd hatched. They discussed the details, Tyler wrote down the song title for the karaoke machine, and then it was only a matter of time.

At eleven, Blaine went off the stage and over to their table, sweaty and tired, but beaming happily like he always did after a performance. The only unoccupied chair was right next to Kurt, and Cooper could see the challenge in Kurt's eyes when he pulled it out for Blaine. Everyone seemed to expect Cooper to say something, but he just got up and moved towards the stage, hoping his silence wouldn't be read as hostile. When he looked at them, however, Kurt and Blaine were already huddled together, talking animatedly and glancing at him, unsure what was going on.

Cooper took the microphone from its stand and tapped it to see if it was on. He hadn't prepared any speech, choosing to go with his gut, so now he just looked straight towards the three people that he considered his closest family and spoke right from his heart.

"Please excuse me for taking over the stage for just a moment. I may not be as talented as tonight's amazing artist – who is my own little brother, may I add – but I have something that I need to say; a toast to three people that are very dear to me, and a song that is an apology. I hope I'll be able to sing even half as good as Blaine, but even if I don't, please believe that it's heartfelt."

He nodded towards Tyler, who nodded back, and the next instant music filled the air and Cooper was singing, fierce and open and sincere.

We could just go home right now

Or maybe we could stick around

For just one more drink, oh yeah

Get another bottle out

Let’s shoot the shit

Sit back down

For just one more drink, oh yeah

Here's to us, here's to love

 All the times that we fucked up

 Here's to you, fill the glass

 Cause the last few days have kicked my ass

 So let’s give 'em hell, wish everybody well

 Here's to us

 Here's to us

The song went on, and all along, Cooper looked directly at his table, hoping they understood. And they did, he could see it in Blaine's teary eyes and Kurt's crooked smile as he nodded and took his boyfriend's hand. Halfway through the song, Tyler made a surprise appearance, carrying a tray with drinks for them – On the house, Cooper could see him say, and the three toasted towards the stage, Blaine clutching Kurt's free hand tightly.

The moment Cooper returned to the table, Blaine and Kurt were on him immediately and for a moment there were only hugs and chaotic words and Blaine's overwhelmed sniffles. When they finally sat back down and people stopped staring – not that they were staring too much, it was New York, after all, people were used to weirder shit happening – Cooper put on a stern face and pointed towards the couple seated opposite him.

"Okay, obligatory older brother talk, kids. Kurt: if you hurt him, I'm gonna kick your ass, understood?" Kurt nodded, his expression solemn like a promise, and Cooper looked at Blaine in turn. "Bee. You can sleep at Kurt's every now and then if you two want, but let's not make it a habit, okay? And please don't make me think about what you're doing there."

"Deal."

"Good. Now, I need a drink."

***

By the time they left The Tipsy Hippo an hour later, the worst of the shock caused by the turn of events had worn off, but Blaine was still dazed and not quite able to believe that yes, Cooper had basically given them his blessing. Kurt opening the bar door for him and taking Blaine's hand, simple as that, with his brother standing right next to them, took Blaine's breath away for a second. They could do this now. No more hiding. No more pretending they were nothing more than friends.

Sebastian took a cab home while the three of them walked in silence, the city hushed around them, and in front of of Kurt's apartment building, Cooper gave Blaine one more shock of the night.

Instead of turning away to give the two of them a bit of privacy for a goodnight kiss, he sighed and shook his head.

"Let's pretend that I'm actually an awesome brother and not just tired of you tapping out text messages half the night. Go, you two. Scram. I know you want to. See you tomorrow night for dinner."

And just like that, Cooper turned and walked away, leaving the two of them alone and speechless.

"God I missed you. Why did I miss you so much after only three days?" Kurt's lips were hard on his, feverish and insatiable. The question sounded like Kurt hadn't meant to let it out at all, so Blaine let it go, focused on showing how much he missed Kurt.

It hadn't even taken them twenty minutes to shower – together, of course, they could only let go of each other long enough to undress in a hurry – and get to bed, naked and kissing, touching everywhere they could reach, which was, well, everywhere, but Blaine felt as if no matter what he did, he couldn't get close enough. After the three days of separation, the anxiety and the emotional rollercoaster of tonight, he needed Kurt more than ever. Closer, harder, in and around him.

"Fuck me. Kurt, please fuck me."

Kurt's shaky inhalation and the way his eyes darkened instantly fed Blaine's hope for the few long seconds until he heard a breathless "Okay", and then there were more hands and lips and the hot pressure of bodies, and Kurt already had two fingers inside him when it hit Blaine like a freight train.

He must have stiffened because the delicious friction of Kurt's fingers stilled immediately and then his hand moved away to rest on Blaine's hip.

"What's wrong?"

Kurt's eyes were much more focused already, concerned, and Blaine managed to twist away from him and hide his face in a pillow before the hysterical giggle tore from his throat. He wanted to explain, he really did, but the volatile mixture of mortification and arousal still burning in his body made him pretty incoherent as he laughed and laughed, unable to stop, laughed until he cried and gasped for air. Finally, he let go of the pillow and looked back at Kurt, who was giving him a pretty impressive bitchface by then.

"I'm sorry, I just... I realized that Cooper is perfectly aware that we're here now, and that we're most likely having sex, and the thought of my brother knowing and maybe thinking about it right now, and after tonight and the last few days and –"

Understanding dawned on Kurt's face and he actually blushed a little, reaching for the discarded comforter to cover them both as if merely thinking about Cooper was able to summon him here.

"Okay, talk about a mood killer."

"Yeah." Blaine wiped the residual tears from his eyes and sighed. "Damn, and I really want you. I'm sorry, forget I said anything, I bet I can get over it."

Kurt raised an eyebrow at him.

"Now that you've planted the picture in my head? No way. No matter how hot you are and how much I missed you, I'm not doing anything more than this to you tonight."

He slid closer, close enough to put his head on Blaine's shoulder and his arm around his waist. A few seconds later, he added a leg between Blaine's, and Blaine sighed blissfully.

"Mm, I like this. Do I get a goodnight kiss?"

Kurt raised his head and planted a quick, soft peck on his cheek. Blaine chuckled. "Okay, I deserved that."

"So we just sleep?"

"We just sleep." 

Blaine slept fitfully that night, his dreams dark and vaguely threatening so that he snapped awake time and again to make sure Kurt was really still beside him, warm and pressed into his back in the safe cocoon of the comforter. The weight of Kurt's body against his and the slow whisper of his breathing against his neck lulled Blaine back to sleep quickly every time, only to make him escape some unknown threats in his dreams again.

When the morning finally came, Blaine opened his eyes to find Kurt awake and watching him with a tender smile.

"Hi, you. You look tired." Kurt's fingers were tracing patterns on Blaine's chest, light and innocent, but the caress sent gentle tendrils of arousal down his belly anyway. He blinked, trying to get the sand from under his eyelids. 

"Mm, bad dreams."

"Oh?" Kurt leaned in to kiss him softly on the lips. "Anything I can help you forget about?"

His touches were losing the pretense of innocence now, tracing lower and lower until his fingers danced light, barely-there just over Blaine's morning erection. He groaned and pressed upward into the cradle of Kurt's hand.

"Yes, please. Please do."

Kurt shifted his weight to rest most of it over Blaine, their hips aligning with some very welcome friction, and they both gasped. Kurt dropped his lips to Blaine's neck in a teasing, shiver-inducing graze of teeth. Blaine's hips shot up again, swift and demanding, and Kurt hummed into his skin and intertwined their fingers on both sides of Blaine's head before whispering into his ear in a hot puff of air.

"Would you mind if I gave you a hickey? We never could before, and suddenly I really, really want to."

Blaine was moaning his assent before Kurt even stopped talking, the idea to be marked as Kurt's, as belonging, so hot that he suddenly found himself ridiculously close to embarrassing himself. But Kurt was right with him there, it seemed. His lips more demanding now, sucking deeply on a point halfway down the side of Blaine's neck where he knew damn well Blaine was insanely sensitive, Kurt worked his hips down and against him. It was too dry and too fast, but neither of them seemed to mind. Kurt's muffled whimpers and Blaine's own desperate moans almost drowned the additional sound of Blaine’s cellphone that suddenly came on with Cooper's very special ringtone.

Almost, but not quite. And the sound of Cooper's voice, singing "I'm Sexy and I Know It", was the last thing either of them wanted to hear in the bedroom.

Kurt rolled off him with a groan, Blaine's body trying to follow him, suddenly cold and left too close to the edge without a warning, but Kurt waved him away. "Answer the damn thing, Blaine. Fuck, I'm gonna have to do something very ungentlemanly to him."

Blaine very much wanted to call Coop out for being a cockblock when he answered, but he didn't quite dare. He did kind of depend on him while here, after all. Instead, he did his best not to sound as if he'd just been having sex and tried to finish the conversation as fast as possible. Kurt was watching him, sprawled out on his stomach, long lines of his body and the beautiful curve of his ass too hard to ignore.

"So? What did he want?" Kurt asked once Blaine ended the call and switched off his phone.

"We're going to some swimming pool with Coop and Sebastian tonight, and then for dinner somewhere."

Blaine reached to pull Kurt closer again. Pushing Coop out of his mind was somehow much easier today. Huh. Maybe his brain had developed immunity.

Apparently, Kurt's brain hadn't.

"Wait. What swimming pool? Why would we go swimming at night? Is he crazy?"

"Um, he said something about Sebastian booking their company swimming pool for us? I didn't really listen. Come on, Kuuuurt."

But Kurt was already sitting up, all business.

"Sebastian, huh? I have a bad feeling about this. Why would he – No, Blaine, my dick developed an off switch with Cooper's name on it. And – oh my god, your neck."

The hickey on Blaine's neck turned out to be pretty epic. Kurt kept glancing at it all day, his expression switching between guilty, aroused and even a little proud, and Blaine couldn't help but preen under his gaze. He chose to accompany Kurt as he went to the theater and even though Kurt couldn't be persuaded to finish what they'd started this morning (or, really, last night) in his workroom, it was okay, because they were together. Holding hands, smiling at each other, simply being close.

As they made a stop at a grocery store on their way back to the apartment, Kurt absorbed in the mundane process of shopping for basic necessities and Blaine just pushing the cart for him, he let himself imagine yet again that this was what their everyday life would look like in a year, maybe a bit more. When he'd come back to New York, for good this time.

For a fleeting moment he even considered asking Cooper to let him stay here now, change schools and simply not return to Ohio, but he discarded the idea quickly.

There were lots of practical reasons not to even attempt that. He'd have to get both Cooper and his parents to agree, which was probably impossible. He'd need to find a school that would even take him for one year only, not to mention would be as good as Dalton, so that it wouldn't affect his college chances too much. And he really doubted his parents would keep paying for a private school for him in this (theoretical) situation. Plus, the thought of being the new student again, starting from scratch, terrified him more than just a little, he had to admit.

But all of that was nothing compared to the main reason: it would be such a silly, teenage thing to do.

There was nothing mature about changing schools, cities, your whole life, basically – a year before graduating, against your own better judgment – when the only real reason was to be close to the person you loved. And no matter how choking the thought of going back to Ohio was, Blaine knew that Kurt wouldn't appreciate him taking that step, or even considering it.

Blaine would prove to Kurt and everyone else – himself included – that he might be just eighteen, but he was mature for his age. Responsible. Trustworthy.

So he just absorbed Kurt's closeness – his voice, his beauty, the steady hold of his hand – as much as he could now, and refused to think that in three weeks at most, he'd have to say goodbye. It was still in the future, so worrying about it would do nothing but rob the present moments of joy.

The swimming pool turned out to be pretty luxurious. Okay, who was he kidding? It was the classiest pool Blaine had ever seen, all marble and glass, located on a ground level of the modern office building where Sebastian worked. And the four of them had it all to themselves for two hours tonight, which Kurt joked was Sebastian's attempt at male bonding. In a sauna.

Yes, there was a sauna. And a jacuzzi.

There was also sparkly clean water and a diving board which Blaine immediately climbed. God, he missed swimming more than he thought. As he resurfaced after the dive – the water was perfect – he found the other three still standing on the edge of the pool, watching him with amusement and, in one case, not-so-well-hidden interest.

Sebastian snorted. "Yup, such a kid."

Blaine would have felt offended, but just then Kurt jumped into the pool and the way he looked, cutting through water as he swam to the other end, made Blaine forget about everything else for a moment. And then he reminded himself that they were not alone, and their swimming trunks weren't exactly hiding much.

He was very busy swimming after that.

***

Okay, it had been a bad idea. A bad, bad idea. Not staring at Blaine when he was almost naked and right there was hard enough, but with the way the muscles of his back and arms were working under the smooth expanse of olive skin as he swam, it was nearly impossible. God, if only Kurt could get some privacy with his insanely hot boyfriend right now... Really, even just five minutes would be enough. Cooper's presence was the only thing that kept him in check, although the way Coop had rolled his eyes when he'd spotted the hickey on Blaine's neck was more exasperated than threatening.

Still, awkward.

And yet, when Blaine got out of the water an hour later, skin glistening and dripping wet, curls in soaked disarray, Kurt couldn't help it. He followed Blaine to the jacuzzi like a puppy. Fuck it, Cooper or not, he had to at least touch. Or steal a kiss. Or he'd explode.

It turned out Cooper paid them no attention whatsoever, busy swimming laps, and Kurt really wasn't sure how it had happened, but a moment later Blaine was sitting between his parted legs, back pressed comfortably into Kurt's chest, Kurt's hand stroking his stomach in lazy little circles while he was stealing chaste, chlorine-tasting kisses, and surely, this was what bliss felt like.

Until Sebastian joined them, that is. And of course Kurt should have expected it, but it didn't make it any less grating.

"So, lovebirds, how was last night? I heard Coop let you go play house? How nice of him. And yet, Blaine, I don't see you walking funny today, and I've been watching carefully, believe me. Kurt, I'm sure you can do better than that?"

Kurt felt Blaine stiffen against him. Right, he'd never quite gotten used to Sebastian's special kind of love. He tried to diffuse the tension.

"Really, Seb, you should go get laid if you're trying to live vicariously through us now. What's wrong, no hot interns this month?"

Sebastian smirked. "Oh, no, there are plenty, just not the right gender. You two, however..." He wiggled his eyebrows and Blaine actually pushed back into Kurt's embrace, as if trying to hide there. "So tell me, little Blaine, has Kurt told you about this little fantasy of his yet? The one with –"

A vicious splash of warm salty water, directed right at the smirking face, gave Kurt just enough time to extricate himself from under his boyfriend and pull Sebastian out the jacuzzi and towards the deep end of the pool. He wasn't even sorry for tipping him into the cool water before jumping in after him.

"Hey! What's gotten into you? Are you PMS-ing or something?"

Sebastian sounded honestly stunned, and Kurt splashed him again, for good measure. "Stop that."

"Stop what?" Sebastian was all wide-eyed innocence, and Kurt rolled his eyes so hard he was surprised they didn't rattle in his skull.

"You know what. Don't be a dick, you're making him uncomfortable."

Seb actually snorted. "Okay, first of all, you can't command me to change who I am. I thought you accepted me, Kurt. You're hurting my feelings here, man. And second – please, I'm being very subtle, haven't you noticed? I never even said anything in front of Coop. And come on, if your boy is old enough to be fucked, he's old enough to be teased about it."

Kurt made a face. He knew Sebastian wouldn't leave them in peace unless Kurt threw him a juicy bit, which, in this case, was far less juicy than his friend imagined, he was certain.

"What if he hasn't been? Fucked, I mean."

"What?!"

He couldn't have shocked Seb more if he told him they had managed sex while hanging from a ceiling fan. With a small smile, he made sure it was clear.

"We haven't gotten there yet. Not like that, so... Stop, okay?"

He left Sebastian with his mouth wide open. With a powerful kick off the wall, he swam back to where Blaine had just jumped into the water at the other end of the pool.

Sebastian left them alone after that, although he kept staring at Kurt like he'd never seen him before. Cooper behaved as if Kurt and Blaine had been dating forever and he'd known about it from the beginning. Apparently once he was fine with it, he was really fine with it. They ended up going to the sauna by themselves because Cooper said he hated the hot humidity and Sebastian refused to accompany "the lovebirds".

And if Kurt walked out of there a little unsteadily ten minutes later – well, no one seemed to notice, or at least cared to comment.

Yes, it's said to be risky to have sex in the sauna. But really, when your gorgeous, flushed, gleaming with sweat boyfriend begs you to let him blow you? You don't say no.

After all, what's life without a little risk?