CHAPTER 3

He was wrong.

They spent a lovely day celebrating Blaine’s birthday with their families and then met their friends in the evening. It was quite natural therefore that by midnight Kurt was barely able to keep his eyes open. To be honest, Blaine felt tired too. They talked a little in bed and kissed goodnight, and fell asleep holding hands. It felt safe and wonderful, and Blaine fell a little bit more in love with this amazing boy.

As newlyweds, they were granted three free days after the wedding, so on Wednesday they finally started to unpack all of their boxes and properly settle in their new home. It took longer than Blaine expected as their things seemed to multiply and the number of bags and packages everywhere grew somehow. By late afternoon they were still only half-done; after Kurt’s delicious dinner Blaine announced defeat because he was way too full to move, let alone bend down and carry heavy things.

They settled for a quiet evening watching movies instead, and it felt perfect, sitting on the couch together, sharing a soft, fluffy blanket. After a while Kurt cuddled closer and lay his head on Blaine’s shoulder, and this was the moment when paying any attention to the movie became very, very difficult. Who could care about some silly plot when they had a gorgeous boy leaning against them, with his expressive face and clear grey-blue eyes, and lips begging to be kissed?

Blaine had never been particularly good at saying no, so how could he resist, really? After only a moment they were kissing like they’d been starving for it, with passion and abandon and all the amazing sounds that made Blaine think fleetingly that completely soundproof interior paints had been the best invention ever. Soon they ended up lying on the couch, still kissing, their hands wandering a little over backs and stomachs, but the second Blaine’s fingers sneaked under Kurt’s shirt, the delightful little bubble of pleasure burst. Kurt sat up rapidly, his breathing still fast, but face already wary.

“I… I don’t feel too good, I’m sorry, Blaine.” It was strange, because just seconds before everything suggested that he’d felt really, really good. “I have a… a headache. Yes, I think I’ll take an aspirin and go to sleep, okay?”

And really, what could Blaine say to that? It wasn’t like it couldn’t be true, it was just… weird. But when they went to bed and Blaine reached hesitantly to embrace his husband, Kurt cuddled closer as if he’d been waiting for it all along. And when he fell asleep with his head tucked under Blaine’s chin, breathing softly against his chest, Blaine forgot about any weirdness, swept away by a wave of love and tenderness like he’d never felt before. Even his cock, achingly hard and pressed lightly against Kurt’s hip, didn’t count right then.

But by Thursday evening Blaine could no longer pretend that there wasn’t a problem. They were putting their clothes in the closet all afternoon, a process greatly complicated by Kurt’s elaborated system of organizing and his running commentary about some of Blaine’s outfits. After another round of teasing and laughing they ended up tangled together on the bed, lips and hands wandering, exploring. Everything was going perfectly fine; Kurt was eager and moaning beside him, until Blaine rolled them and pressed his husband to the bed, and… Yes, there was no way Kurt could have missed Blaine’s erection pressed against his thigh. He flew from the bed instantly, disappearing into the bathroom. When he got back, claiming that he’d just needed to pee, the mood was already ruined and they finished organizing the closet in silence. In the evening Blaine got out from the shower to find Kurt already asleep – or pretending in a very convincing way.

No, it definitely didn’t look like the problem was resolving on its own. Soon, it actually got worse.

On Friday it was time to go back to reality, which consisted, among other things, of being high school students. For the first time in years Blaine ate an actual breakfast before school and drank coffee at home instead of grabbing one on the way – all Kurt’s influence, of course. It was nice, starting the day like this – unhurriedly, with sleepy smiles and a warm hand on his on the table, with someone who knew it was useless to try and talk to Blaine before he had any caffeine in him, but who didn’t mind it.

There were some curious glances when they entered the school holding hands, but their ring fingers, where the rainbows tattoos were now covered with wide silvery bands engraved with each other’s names, explained everything. The guys from the glee club teased them slightly during lunch about finally being able to do “all the fun stuff”. Kurt changed the topic so fluidly that no one but Blaine realized how upset he got. Other than that, the day proceeded like any other.

They had most of their classes together that day, and they were walking to the choir room, holding hands, when it happened. Karofsky, his signature leather jacket and creepy smirk in place, rounded the corner of the empty corridor in front of them. The expression on his meaty face faltered for a second when he saw their joined hands, but then his grin widened even more as he drawled.

“Well, well, Hummel, what do I see… Still the naïve little virgin, are you? Now that’s interesting.”

He stalked away with a cold cackle before any of them had time to react, and the next instant Blaine felt Kurt physically stumble by his side, as if punched. He swayed and would have fallen if Blaine hadn’t caught and supported him. Worried, he pulled Kurt closer.

“Hey, everything all right?”

But his husband was already getting himself back together, his face unreadable but for the tight set of his jaw.

“Yes, I’m fine. It’s just, you know… him again. I’d hoped he’d leave me alone now.”

Blaine knew Kurt too well to believe that was all.

“Kurt, what he said…”

Kurt wouldn’t let him finish, though. His eyes carefully averted, he shook his head and resumed walking.

“It doesn’t matter. Come on, Glee is about to start.”

And that was the end of the topic. Kurt didn’t breathe a word about the incident or Karofsky again that day, but that evening he said he needed to finish an essay so that he could have a free weekend. Blaine went to bed alone, only to find his husband asleep on the couch in the morning. Kurt said he must have dozed off when he sat down there while taking a break, but it didn’t explain the fact that he was showered and in his pajamas. It all felt very strange to Blaine, but every time he tried to start a serious conversation, Kurt dodged, until finally exploding about Blaine being nosy and suspicious, and shutting himself in the study room.

There were no cuddles in bed that night, and no morning kisses. Most of Sunday passed in chilly silence and Blaine was slowly going crazy, uncertain what he could do, when Kurt dashed out of the study room, panicked expression on his face. Blaine heard the slam of the bathroom door and then unmistakable sounds of retching. Without a second of hesitation, he followed.

Kurt was kneeling on the floor by the toilet, heavy sobs shaking his lean body. He tried to cover his face, but Blaine would have none of it. Enough, damn it! Something was seriously wrong and he wouldn’t just stand by any longer.

“Kurt.”

“No, Blaine, it’s nothing, just-“

“Stop that.” The tone of his voice, hard and final, made Kurt look up just as Blaine sat down and pulled him, unprotesting for once, into his arms. “Enough, Kurt. I can see that something is really bothering you and you’ve been trying to hide it from me for some reason. Please don’t do that. You don’t have to deal with this alone, whatever it is. I love you, I’m here for you, please let me help.”

Kurt suddenly went very still and very quiet in Blaine’s embrace. Then he whispered.

“You love me?”

“I do. And before you ask, no, not just as a friend. Now, can we talk, please?”

Kurt nodded. With visible effort that made his hands and lips tremble, he looked Blaine in the eyes and whispered barely audibly.

“I don’t want to have sex. Ever.”

For a moment, Blaine felt too shocked to react in any way, a vision of living his whole life without experiencing anything sexual even once flashing bright and blinding in his mind. This was exactly the reaction Kurt had been afraid of, it seemed. He pulled away from Blaine’s arms to sit against a wall, curling in on himself. His face was a picture of misery, tears flowing silently down his cheeks, and Blaine slapped himself mentally. He needed to stop worrying about possible futures and take care of the boy he loved now. They had to talk and then, when he had all the facts, he could start processing it. In the worst case scenario, he would still have Kurt in his life, could kiss him, touch him a little maybe, spend every day with him. He would deal with it… somehow? He would.

Pushing his shock and emotions to the back burner of his mind for now, he reached to Kurt, who shook his head and withdrew even further.

“I’m sorry, Blaine, I know I should have told you before you said yes, but-“

“Kurt, does this have anything to do with why you panicked in the study? What happened?”

Kurt’s eyes widened as he remembered something and suddenly he started shaking all over. Blaine got to his feet. This was not a place for a conversation like this. He pulled Kurt up too and lead him to the couch. Once there, he took his husband’s hands – ice-cold and clammy now – and said calmly.

“Tell me.”

Kurt took several deep breaths before he started.

“I got a message from Karofsky. He wrote…” Kurt’s hands tightened instinctively, almost painfully on Blaine’s. “He wrote that he’s going to challenge the validity of our marriage, based on it not being consummated. He said his father would have the papers ready as soon as he turns 18. He wants it to get annulled so that he can have me for himself. He’s guessing, of course, but since he’s right…”

Blaine gasped. That bastard! And since Kurt didn’t want to have sex… What could they do? The problem was much, much bigger than he’d expected.

Some of his feelings must have reflected on Blaine’s face, because Kurt started shaking again.

“See, before this email I was only afraid of your reaction, and it was bad enough. This is one of the reasons why I didn’t want to marry you, Blaine. Because you would either respect my refusal, and it would make you unhappy, or you would… well, not force, I know, but convince me, maybe, to try anyway, even though I didn’t want to. So it would get between us no matter what. But now? It’s like Karofsky gets to decide everything for us. Because either he gets to have me against my will or you do – either way, it has nothing to do with what I want and everything with him pressuring me. I just can’t see a way out of this, Blaine. I’m sorry, you don’t deserve this, I should never have-“

But Blaine’s mind was already in analytical mode, the same one that made his father one of the best mathematicians in the state. Problem solving. He could do that, he just needed all the data.

“Kurt. We’ll find a solution. Could you tell me more about why you don’t want to have sex?”

Hurt glimmered in Kurt’s eyes, completely grey now, and he shook his head, blushing.

“I can’t. I can’t talk to you about it, you’re my husband and I just… I don’t know how.”

“Okay. Could you talk about it if I was still only your friend, not your husband? If you were married to someone else and just met me for coffee, and somehow could discuss this problem you encountered in your relationship with me as your best friend?”

Kurt thought for a moment and nodded, hesitant.

“I think so. But-“

“Okay. You want to become an actor – you have a chance to practice now. I’ll go to the kitchen and make coffee. You get into your role and come there in a moment. I want you to try and talk to me about sex. Let’s pretend no one will know, we’re allowed to talk about it. Do you think you can do that?”

Kurt was already wiping his eyes with a tissue, nodding. There was a glimpse of determination in his eyes and Blaine knew that look. He wouldn’t go down without a fight. Good; this was what they needed now.