CHAPTER 2

The ceremony was short and unimpressive. They stated their names, dates of birth and sexual orientation for the record, and confirmed their will to get married to each other. The bored, unsmiling woman in purple (that horribly clashed with her red hair) made them each repeat the vows that were all about respect, social order, equality and fulfilling each other’s needs before they exchanged the wedding bands. The bio-metal bonded with the pigments of the rainbow tattoos on their ring fingers, melting into the skin with brief tingling, and just like that, they were married. No longer Kurt Hummel and Blaine Anderson, but Kurt and Blaine Anderson-Hummel, now and till death – or the law – would part them.

Before they left, they were given two sets of keys for their new apartment. Because of the young age of most gay newlyweds, the state provided accommodation for them for free until they finished their education – including college, if they decided to go. Kurt and Blaine got a small, one-bedroom apartment not far from Kurt’s family home, and if theirs was a bid marriage, they would most likely proceed to move in immediately, the formalities of the wedding complete.

But they weren’t strangers. They were best friends who had just vowed to spend the rest of their lives together, and Blaine was determined to wipe the shocked, tearful expression from his husband’s face. From now on, Kurt’s well being was his responsibility and among many silent vows Blaine added to the official ones in his heart, there was making sure his husband had no reasons to ever be upset like this. Starting now.

He held Kurt’s hand as they were walking along the endless corridors of the courthouse, back outside.

“Okay. Now that the official dreariness is over, we can have a proper celebration.”

There was confusion on Kurt’s face.

“What do you mean? I thought-“

“You’ll see. You didn’t think I’d consider this thing a proper wedding for us, did you? Because it’s not, come on! How many times did we talk about what our weddings should be like?”

“Well, yeah, but these were just silly dreams.”

“Were they?”

The main door opened before them right then and Kurt stopped dead with his eyes open almost as wide as his mouth. Blaine had to admit the view was fabulous.

There was a horse-drawn carriage standing in front of the building, all in white, complete with two horses and the driver. Only the flowers decorating the carriage created vivid flashes of color – dozens of tiger lilies woven around the back and sides, and into the horses’ manes.

The expression on Kurt’s beautiful face was well worth every minute Blaine had put into directing the preparations. His husband looked like a child who’d been given the best present he could dream of. And this was just the beginning. Smiling, Blaine pulled him by the hand.

“Shall we?”

The reception took place in the Andersons’ garden, decorated with hundreds of white and tiger lilies among the fresh spring green. All of their families and friends were there, dozens of people, and their Glee Club was providing most of the music. There was a festive dinner and a beautiful, four-tiered wedding cake; and then toasts, congratulations and cheers, and wedding gifts. In the evening there was champagne and dancing slowly in the soft darkness illuminated only by the moon and hundreds of string lights overhead.

Kurt was relaxed and pliant in Blaine’s arms, face hidden in the crook of his neck, and Blaine couldn’t resist pressing a soft kiss on Kurt’s cheek. The magic of the evening was thick around them, the atmosphere could hardly be more romantic, and when Kurt raised his head and looked deep into his eyes, leaning slowly in for a kiss, Blaine’s heart seemed to stop. They’d never done this; not today, not ever – not just with each other, just never, with anyone. And it felt so perfect when Kurt’s soft lips touched his, tasting of champagne and strawberries, shy and a little hesitant, that Blaine knew he would remember this forever as one of the most beautiful moments of his life. They stopped dancing and Blaine reciprocated and deepened the kiss, daring to part his lips just a tiny bit and brush the tip of his tongue over Kurt’s upper lip. He heard his husband gasp softly, felt him shiver and then Kurt’s lips were parting too, his tongue was pressing forward, searching, until they met in a hot, wet slide and Kurt moaned quietly. It seemed to break them out of their reverie and for a moment they just stood there, stunned and wide-eyed, both breathing fast and shallow.

Wow.

If just a little kiss felt like that, what would it be like later that night, when they could go further, got to do more? Blaine suddenly felt as if the temperature of the somewhat chilly spring evening raised dramatically. They would get to be alone tonight, with no one watching them, no curious, spying eyes trying to detect any sign of indecency. In fact, almost everything that had been considered indecent so far was now allowed between them. They could be alone whenever they wanted. They could hold hands, touch, hug and kiss, even in public. They would live together from now on, sleep together, see each other naked. Have sex.

Blaine’s heart was pounding and he was certain the blush on his face had to be obvious for everyone, as if his thoughts were displayed on his forehead. He, like every child, had been taught not to talk about things like this, not to think about them except in private, when he was alone. These were issues reserved for marriage, a taboo otherwise. Sex was something that could destroy your life, get you thrown in prison or neutered. Sex was what ruined perfectly good people and societies, even little children knew that. Hormones screwed with people’s minds, causing most of the world’s problems: overpopulation and poverty, unwanted children and adultery, fights, crimes and murders committed because of lust. Sex was bad. Except in marriage.

Being able to think about it openly now was such a shock it made Blaine pretty incoherent for a while. Being able – and expected – to actually do it… Oh god.

The reception was coming to a close; the music stopped, and soon, among cheers and hugs, Kurt and Blaine got into a white limousine rented specifically for this reason, to drive the half hour to their new home. Blaine could feel Kurt’s warm hand squeezing his, the metal on his finger new and strange, and he breathed deep, calming breaths. He knew what was waiting for them there, he’d planned it himself and arranged it with Finn, Rachel and Tina, who snuck out for part of the evening to transport their things to their new place (Finn) and prepare their bedroom for a lavishly romantic wedding night (the girls).

He just hoped Kurt would like it.

It was dark and quiet in the back of the limo, only some serene music was seeping in through the speakers, and Kurt was sitting so close it felt a little intoxicating – his thigh pressing warm against Blaine’s, his smell so close and heady when he lay his head on Blaine’s shoulder, his cool hand in Blaine’s own. Kurt’s breathing slowed down, deepened, and for a moment Blaine thought he might have fallen asleep, until he heard the familiar, melodious voice and felt a thumb stroking the back of his hand.

“Thank you, Blaine. You turned something I dreaded into a beautiful memory. You didn’t have to do any of that, but you did, for me, and I will always look back on today with a smile instead of a frown.”

Blaine felt himself blush a little. He shrugged the one unoccupied shoulder.

“You’re welcome. But you know it wasn’t just for you, right? I was hardly delighted with the courthouse ceremony myself.”

“Yeah, but still. You know me all too well. Don’t think I haven’t realized how many details fit my secret dream wedding.”

“Well, I can’t help but get inspired by the best.”

Blaine smiled at the sound of Kurt’s light chuckle. It felt good to sit together like this, knowing that they had all the time in the world for each other, that nothing threatened to separate them anymore. Something swelled in his chest, a wave of emotions, hot and earnest, and he swallowed once, twice, to stop his voice from coming out choked up.

“Kurt? I just… I want you to know that I will do everything in my power to be the best possible husband to you. In every respect. I mean it. This – us – is not just a way to avoid marrying a stranger, not for me. I… I wanted this to be you. I think I’ve wanted all along.”

Blaine braced himself, waiting for the unavoidable question, the words he’d only thought so far on the cusp of falling out into the world now, for all – and most importantly, for Kurt – to hear. But nothing came. There was silence around them, filled with the soft notes of some old time love song, and he felt rather than saw Kurt tensing beside him.

“What if I’m not?” Kurt’s voice was small, barely a whisper, and Blaine had to lean even closer to make sure he heard him. “The best husband for you, I mean. What if I’m not good enough, if I screw up and disappoint you, and ruin it all?”

“You could never disappoint me.” It was said with fierce conviction, but Kurt shook his head.

“No, don’t say that. You don’t know that. Forever is a very long time, Blaine. And living together, being a couple, partners… husbands… I’m sure we’ll get to discover a lot of things we didn’t know about each other. And what if some of them are bad? What if there’s something about me you can’t live with, yet you’ll have to now? What if-“

Kurt’s voice was getting higher, panicked, slightly hysterical, and Blaine broke him off.

“Stop, Kurt. Why are you what-iffing? We’ll cross any of those bridges if we ever get to them, but I’m not worried. We’ve always been honest with each other, we’re best friends and we talk about everything. I think these are pretty good foundations to build on, don’t you? We’ll be fine. Unless… unless you regret it.”

Blaine was grateful that Kurt answered immediately. He was sure any second of hesitation would be like a knife to his heart right now.

“No! No, of course I don’t. I’m just… anxious, I guess.”

“Don’t be. We’ll make it work, okay? Come on, here we are. Home.”

Home. It had never sounded so good before. Holding hands, they entered the nice, modern apartment building and climbed the stairs.

The apartment turned out to be lovely. The small, but well-equipped kitchen had all the necessary utilities and well stocked fridge and pantry. Blaine could easily imagine them sitting here by the table every morning, coffee in hand, Kurt’s eyes adorably sleepy and very blue, like they always were before he woke up fully. This thought was like something soft and tender curling around Blaine’s heart, making him feel strangely moved. Was it what love felt like?

The next room they entered was clearly designed as a study, with two desks and enough shelves to comfortably fit all the books and papers they would need now and for the next four years when they were at the local college. The door opposite was closed and as if by silent agreement, they left it that way, going right to the cozy living room where most of their boxes stood along the walls.

The room was furnished in cream and chocolate brown, and Kurt perked up instantly, coming up with ways to liven it up a little and make it more them. Blaine couldn’t help but watch him with breath catching in his throat – it felt so natural, so comfortable, Kurt already designing their shared space with his usual ease for these things. His silence must have stretched too long, though, because soon his husband was blushing and chuckling self-consciously.

“Sorry. I know, I know. I can’t help it, it just kicks in and-“

“You’re adorable.”

These weren’t exactly the words Blaine wanted to say, but he chickened out at the very last second. Trying to cover a sudden wave of embarrassment, he took Kurt’s hand and pulled him along to the big, comfy couch where they dropped onto the plush cushions with a sigh. For a moment they just looked at each other, smiling. Finally, Blaine spoke.

“I still can’t believe we’re allowed to be here alone. I keep expecting someone to come in and yell at us.”

Kurt nodded.

“Yeah. A lot has changed in the last three days. I think it will take a while to get used to it.”

Blaine couldn’t drag his eyes away from Kurt’s lips as he spoke – full, pink lips that had felt so perfect against his own earlier that night. Before he realized what he was doing, he was stroking his thumb over his husband’s slightly stubbled cheek, and Kurt’s eyes were wide, darker than he’d ever seen them. It felt amazing, the rough finish on a peach-skin soft cheek. So manly. So sexy.

Blaine’s voice came out rough when he spoke.

“Can I… can I kiss you?”

“Yes.”

It was only a whisper, but it was enough. A second later Blaine was kneeling on the couch and leaning in to touch, to kiss, and it was even better than before. There was no one around and they had as much time as they wanted, all the time in the world to learn and practice, to map the topography of each other’s mouth, getting braver by the minute, until their tongues tangling together, sliding along each other felt as easy and natural as breathing. There were those breathy little noises, the quiet broken moans and wow, Kurt’s lips were really sensitive to touch. Blaine nipped the lower one experimentally, sucking on it a little, and Kurt’s hands shot up to tangle in his curls and pull him even closer, his moan louder than ever.

Kurt pulled away after a moment, flushed and deliciously disheveled, to whisper breathlessly.

“I think I like kissing you.”

“That’s good, because I know I love kissing you.”

The gentle curve of Kurt’s neck was impossible to ignore any longer, so Blaine dove in, pressing kisses in the sweet hollow below his husband’s ear, licking his way under the jaw, sucking here and there as he slid down the pale throat, tasting the hints of aftershave and sweat and, most importantly, Kurt. And if he thought that Kurt had been reactive before, well… the way he was arching and whimpering now was very, very distracting.

Kurt hissed suddenly and withdrew from the kiss, blushing.

“Would you mind if we um… changed into something more comfortable?”

Oh. Now that he found several working cells in his brain, Blaine realized how constricting the fitted suit pants were against his undeniable erection. Kurt probably – hopefully! – felt the same. Yes, yoga pants would be a much better idea. Blaine stood up from the couch, sliding his jacket off.

“You’re right. I told Finn to put the clothes bags and boxes in the closet, I assume it’s in the bedroom.”

When Kurt got up, it was hard to miss the bulge in his pants, and Blaine had to try very hard not to stare, suddenly feeling hotter than ever. The thought that they might… that they would… He swallowed with some effort and forced himself to move.

The moment Blaine opened the door to the bedroom, he saw Kurt stiffen slightly. The girls may have gotten a little overenthusiastic with their task – undoubtedly Rachel’s influence. The wide bed was made with a snow-white bedding so that the hundreds of red rose petals on top looked like drops of blood. There were dozens of candles everywhere, unlit for now, the room brightened only by a small bedside lamp. Blaine’s iPod stood in its deck on the windowsill, ready to provide the background for whatever they would get to do tonight. It looked nice, if a bit over the top.

Blaine was about to move towards the half-open closet door where some boxes were visible, when he heard a choked sound. Kurt was white as a sheet when Blaine glanced at him; in fact, he looked a little sick, his eyes trained at one particular spot in the room. Blaine followed his line of sight and groaned internally. Damn the girls.

On the bedside table stood a big box of condoms and a bottle of lubricant, The best for anal pleasures written in bold block letters at the front.

Talk about awkwardness. Of course, they would get there, but flashing those like that when the only thing they’d done so far was kissing… Oh god, did Kurt think he’d put them there?

He didn’t have a chance to ask or explain, however, because right then Kurt’s voice, carefully controlled – and Blaine knew very well it meant he was closing in – sounded beside him.

“Blaine, would you mind… I’m exhausted, today was so long and emotional, and I couldn’t sleep last night, and… Could we just go to bed? Oh god, I mean… rest? Please?”

Blaine could easily hear the tears threatening behind Kurt’s indifferent façade and damn, it wasn’t supposed to be like this, he wanted everything slow and gradual, and perfect, and now… He had to fix it. His voice warm and soothing, he nodded.

“Of course. Do you want to go take a shower? I’ll clear it all up by the time you’re back.”

Kurt was clearly breaking, the stress of the last days, the decisions, the changes, the ceremony – it was all too much, and even though he was trying with all his might to keep it in, Blaine knew. He could see. And it broke his heart.

“Blaine, I- I’m sorry, it’s just-“

“No, it’s fine. Everything is okay. Go, take a shower and we’ll go to sleep.” 

It took a long while before Kurt’s sobs in the bathroom died down. In the meantime Blaine managed to clean up the rose petals, hide the offending condoms and lube, and remove the candles. The place looked like a normal bedroom again, even if it was still special, because it was theirs.

Blaine went to the kitchen after he was done, and waited until he heard Kurt in the bedroom before he went to take a shower himself. He didn’t want to make the other boy uncomfortable – he knew Kurt hated it when anyone saw him in his weaker moments, with his eyes red from crying. He knew that when Kurt was upset, he needed to be alone before he turned for comfort himself. He knew the boundaries that were important to his husband.

When Blaine got to the bedroom, Kurt was lying on the very edge of the bed, curled into fetal position, facing the wall. Blaine could tell by his stiff shoulders and the trembling in his breathing that he wasn’t asleep, but he let it go. He lay down on the other side of the bed, keeping respectable distance, and tried to sleep, without much success.

This wasn’t how he’d imagined their first night together.

Blaine woke up slowly, trying to hold on to the last tendrils of sleep, his head aching. He felt strange; something was different than usual. For one, why hadn’t his alarm clock blared its stupid little tune yet? And the bed, it was…

Gasping, Blaine sat up quickly – and regretted it instantly when his head pounded in response. Of course everything was different – he was married now. Married to Kurt. Living with Kurt. In love with Kurt.

But the other side of the bed was empty, the sheets cold. Blaine remembered the disastrous ending of last evening then, and fell back down on the pillows, groaning. Damn, this was bad. He’d been lying awake for hours last night, looking at Kurt’s small, curled up form, yearning to touch his friend – his husband – gather him in his arms and promise that everything would be all right. But he couldn’t. Because he knew that Kurt wouldn’t let him, that he needed his alone time with a problem – that was one reason. But the other one was making Blaine uneasy even now.

He couldn’t tell Kurt that everything would be all right, because he didn’t really know what the problem was. Or rather, how big it was, how far it extended. It was about sex, that much was clear – the way Kurt had been looking at the condoms and lube, with fear, maybe even betrayal in his eyes, made it obvious. But the specifics? Did he think Blaine would push him, force him even, the way Karofsky had apparently planned not so secretly? Was it just fear of going too fast for Kurt’s romantic notions? Something in between, or maybe something else entirely? Blaine couldn’t tell.

They’d never talked about sex, intimacy, about their fantasies or desires – it was a taboo in their society. Normally, they would be allowed to discuss it before the wedding, if only to know what they should expect, but with Blaine’s birthday approaching – oh, it was today, wasn’t it? – they simply hadn’t had time for that. Obviously, they should talk. But frankly, Blaine would really, truly prefer not to. He didn’t know how to talk about such things, he’d never tried. What could he say, what words to use to not sound like either a pervert or an idiot? Sighing, Blaine decided that talking could wait. Maybe the issue would just resolve itself with time? Maybe yesterday was just too much stress and pressure, nothing else?

He’d assumed that he and Kurt would have sex. Not necessarily anal sex right away, and he didn’t honestly expect it to happen on their wedding night, but come on, they were both horny, hormonal teenagers, clearly attracted to each other, who had never had a chance to act on their desires and now were not only allowed at last, but in fact were expected to have sex. It had to lead to that eventually, right? Especially with the way Kurt had clearly enjoyed kissing at least as much as Blaine had.

With this comforting thought, Blaine decided to brave getting up. He made the bed – Kurt liked things clean and tidy, better to remember about that – and opened the bedroom door.

There were some amazing smells in the air; coffee, definitely, and-

“Waffles?”

Blaine asked in disbelief, standing in the kitchen doorway, barefooted and still in his pajamas. Kurt, fully dressed already, turned from the sink and smiled, his real, bright smile that turned his face into a heartwarming little sun. He looked tired, but clearly there were no hard feelings because he came up to Blaine and kissed him softly on the lips.

“Yes. With fruit and whipped cream, just the way you love them. Plus coffee. Happy birthday, Blaine.”

Yes, Blaine thought as they sat at the table eating breakfast, the conversation between them easy as always. It would all resolve itself. No need to worry.