A/N: This chapter is definitely rated NC-17… A.k.a. anxioussquirrel writes porn. Again. ;)

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CHAPTER 23

Kurt had been carrying a small bottle of lubricant and a packet of condoms with him ever since their first conversation about going further, that afternoon after his West Side Story audition. They were in a little pouch tucked in the inside pocket of his bag, discreet and mundane enough so that even if someone saw it there, it wouldn’t seem out of the ordinary. Especially since Kurt was known to carry his face products and hand cream around.

Actually acquiring these items had been embarrassing enough – he’d gone to the big drugstore two towns over to avoid asking for them at the register or meeting anyone he knew – but he had decided that if he felt ready to make this final step in intimacy, he should definitely be ready to buy the necessary supplies. Just… baby steps. Maybe next time his heart wouldn’t try to jump out of his chest every time someone looked at the contents of his cart.

Carrying these items around felt a little presumptuous at first, but since they often ended up at Blaine’s house after classes, and the Andersons were out more often than Kurt’s own parents, he just wanted to be prepared in case the circumstances and their choices aligned perfectly one of these days. He hadn’t known if tonight might be the night when he left home this morning. He wasn’t even entirely sure when he got out of Blaine’s car half an hour ago. It was not just his decision to make, after all, and the fact that Blaine’s parents were away until tomorrow was only one factor to consider, and not the most important one.

But now, with both of them naked and tangled on Blaine’s bed, lips kissed raw and pure need making their hands frantic, Kurt had no doubt what he wanted. He moaned loudly when Blaine’s fingers slipped down from his spit-slick balls, grazing his perineum. Kurt’s hips arched up, suddenly unable to contain his desire.

“Blaine… Blaine please, just–“

Blaine pulled off his cock with that perfect sucking pressure, his lips red and shiny with saliva. “Tell me what you want.”

“Would you… your fingers, can we–?”

“Yes. God, please yes.”

***

Blaine was mesmerized. What started with a single fingertip circling the tight bud of Kurt’s entrance and dipping shyly into the incredible tight heat, lead to this moment, with two of Blaine’s fingers moving easily deep in Kurt’s hole, in and out and curling just there like he’d been doing it forever, and not just for the last ten minutes. It looked almost obscene, those two digits glistening with too much lube diving so freely between Kurt’s pale cheeks as he spread his thighs more, pushed his ass higher on the cushions, begging for Blaine’s touch with every twitch and gasp. The moans Kurt was letting out were the most raw, out of control sounds Blaine had ever heard him utter, and he wished he could really see Kurt’s face, not just the part visible between his arms. But Kurt had chosen to be on his stomach this time, and that was fine. They would have plenty more times to try every position imaginable. As it was, Blaine had a spectacular view anyway, what with the fire from the fireplace casting warm, undulating light all over Kurt’s perfect skin. Every curve and line of Kurt’s body looked golden and when he moved, arching under Blaine’s tender, careful touch, the play of his muscles kept stealing Blaine’s breath away.

Blaine had insisted they move from his room down here when Kurt had asked for them to go further than they had before. Despite Kurt’s impatient whining, he didn’t regret taking the time to make a soft nest in front of the fireplace for them, and build a real fire. If this was going where he hoped it was, Blaine really wanted this night to be special. Especially after the car sex fiasco.

Carefully, he slid another finger in along with the two he’d been using. Kurt tensed for a moment, a huffed breath escaping, but soon he was moving his hips to meet Blaine’s fingers again. The clenching tightness made Blaine’s breath stutter and he moved his hips further away from Kurt’s body to avoid the temptation of just rubbing his leaking cock against anything to relieve the ache.

Sooner than he expected though, Kurt started squirming impatiently, his voice breathy and high as he moaned.

“Okay, more, Blaine, oh god. I want you, can you just –” He turned his head to look at Blaine, flushed and sweaty, oh so gorgeous. “Make love to me, Blaine?”

“Yes.” Hands shaking and heart beating frantically somewhere in his throat, Blaine flailed for a condom. He found it, only to drop it and surge forward for a kiss instead. They were going to do it, this last of the firsts, together. Now. He felt giddy with anticipation and love so deep it hurt. Kurt laughed happily against his lips. Blaine could feel his excitement bubbling through his own mind like an echo.

There was a fair amount of fumbling with the condom and the lube – everything was so slippery – and making sure Kurt was still comfortable in the position he chose. Then they were ready, as ready as they would ever be, and with a last shaky breath, Blaine slowly pushed into the tight, tight heat.

Kurt inhaled sharply when the head of Blaine’s cock breached his entrance, but didn’t freeze, bearing down and relaxing as much as he could, his mind open to Blaine and emotions flowing freely: encouragement, eagerness, love. Before Blaine knew it, he was about two inches deep and he paused, letting out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. Kurt was panting softly beneath him, his muscles tense, and Blaine stroked his back, pulled out a little and rocked back in, just tiny movements that made his eyes roll back in his head nonetheless. It was like a vice in there, like a perfectly fitted glove enveloping his cock, and it was hard to restrain himself from pushing deeper. But he would never want to hurt Kurt, so he waited, rocking gently back and forth, until the movements became easier and the body beneath him relaxed back down into the pillows. Only then did he try to push a little further.

Kurt flinched forward, away from his cock.

“Sorry, sorry,” Blaine gasped, freezing. “Are you alright?”

“Yes, sorry. Just startled.” Kurt’s voice was still high and breathless, and Blaine resumed his rocking motions, intent on trying to slide deeper in smaller increments. If he managed not to explode before he had a chance to bottom out, that is – which was quickly becoming a very real possibility. It was just too good, too tight, and he couldn’t, he had to control it somehow, that would be selfish–

Too focused on holding back the orgasm building deep in his balls, he didn’t realize something was wrong until he heard a muffled hiss. When he snapped back in to focus, Kurt’s fist were clenched in the sheets, his muscles tight and he was breathing in rapid, shallow pants – but when Blaine stopped, he hurried with, “I’m okay, I’m okay, come on, please.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, Blaine, come on.”

He resumed his movements – if that was what Kurt wanted, he would give it to him. But orgasm was suddenly far from the first thing on Blaine’s mind. Something was off – the lines of Kurt’s body too tight, and not with the pre-orgasmic tensing when every muscle clenched in expectation of pleasure. His breathing was wrong, uneven and shallow, and he was flinching ever so slightly whenever Blaine tried to push in any deeper than where he was from the beginning, his feet digging into the bedding where they braced Blaine’s knees. Slowing down, Blaine focused on their emphatic connection, his mind not catching anything until he focused hard, and then–

He moved to kneel up and Kurt’s hand shot back to hold his thigh.

“No! No, don’t pull out.”

“Kurt, come on, you’re freaking out and you’re this close to whimpering. This isn’t right. Let’s take a break.”

“You can finish. I’m fine, I promise.”

“No, you’re not. You can’t fool me, remember?” Blaine slid out carefully and quickly got rid of the condom before lying down next to Kurt so that he could see his flushed face. “Did it hurt?”

Kurt sighed and turned to his side to face him. “Not really? Not until you tried to go deeper. Mostly it was just weird. But you didn’t have to stop, it would pass, I know it would. I just have to get used to it. Come on, let’s try again.”

Blaine stroked Kurt’s marked collarbone with his knuckles, a soothing gesture. “Maybe next time. Another day, okay?”

Kurt’s face fell. “You… you don’t want to?”

“I do. But I want you to be comfortable. So that I can be comfortable. There’s no hurry, Kurt. It doesn’t have to be tonight, does it? We have plenty of time.”

Kurt pouted. “But I wanted it. I still do. It’s just– ugh, stupid body. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. I fail at gay bars, I fail at gay sex–“

“No,” Blaine said, cupping his distraught face. “Don’t even think that. It’s not a contest or a race. Are you doing it because of last night? Because of Sebastian?”

Kurt groaned. “Don’t ever say that name when we’re naked in bed together, Blaine.”

“Sorry,” Blaine winced. “But are you?”

“I don’t think so? I mean, I want this, I’m ready, and you said you are too, and we have the opportunity with both of our parents gone, so why not tonight? It’s not like we have so many chances to spend the night together.” Kurt still looked annoyed with himself, and Blaine wrapped an arm around him and gathered him closer against his chest. Kurt gasped softly when the shift pressed Blaine’s still very much interested cock to his belly. “Oh. Can I at least suck you?”

Blaine shook his head and kissed Kurt’s forehead. “Let’s just call it a night. Can you stay over anyway?”

Kurt sniffed and laid a kiss over Blaine’s heart. “That was the plan. Do you still want me to?”

“Of course I do. Come on, let’s put out the fire and go to bed. I want to cuddle and fall asleep with you.”

Waking up naked in bed with Kurt was the best thing ever.

Well, maybe the second best. Waking up naked with Kurt’s cock hard against the small of Blaine’s back and his hand stroking Blaine’s ass was even better. Want was rushing through Blaine’s body before he was even properly awake, and without opening his eyes, he reached under his pillow. Kurt gasped when Blaine pressed his ass into his hand and passed him the half-empty bottle of lube.

“Do you want me to–?” Kurt asked, his voice sleep-rough.

“Yes,” Blaine whispered. “Please.”

Still on the verge of sleep, he was warm and pliant, melting into Kurt’s every tentative touch and moaning softly when Kurt’s fingers slipped shyly down his cleft. His skin felt electric, his whole body focused on nothing but the sensual pleasure of Kurt’s touch.

In the early morning sunshine streaming through the window, in the quiet of the empty house broken only by his own helpless moans, Blaine felt like the moment couldn’t be more perfect. He couldn’t give in to Kurt’s hands more than he did right now, couldn’t open himself up more, so ready and so wanting. Kurt’s fingers felt so natural, sliding easily into him, not like an intrusion at all but like something Blaine had been waiting for, yearned for, like another level of connection. But fingers were not enough and soon he was squirming and gasping and pulling away from Kurt’s hand, his eyes pleading as he turned to look at him.

“Kurt. Inside, please.”

Kurt breath stuttered. “O-okay. Wait. Condoms.”

Blaine groaned. “They’re downstairs.”

“I have some in my bag.” Kurt started to sit up but Blaine caught his hand.

“No, don’t go, let’s just– We don’t really need them, do we?”

Kurt stared at him for a few seconds, his mouth open, then he blinked. “We don’t but– Are you sure?”

“I am. Please, Kurt. I want you in me. Now.”

“Okay.”

Being the little spoon would never be non-sexual again, Blaine thought abstractly as he lay comfortably on his side with Kurt’s body hard and warm behind him, so familiar but for the new and exciting feeling of the blunt head of Kurt’s cock slipping between his cheeks and nudging against the stretched, sensitive rim of his hole. Blaine moaned and pushed back immediately and it just – slipped in, easy and amazing with the slightly burning stretch and the fullness that took Blaine’s breath away.

“Oh my god,” he huffed out when Kurt paused with barely the head in. “More, Kurt. Deeper.”

“Already?” Kurt sounded slightly panicked even though his body trembled with restraint.

“Yes. Come on,” Blaine panted. It was so good, and so not enough, but when he tried to just push back and impale himself, Kurt moved back with him.

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You won’t, come on. I need more. Please. Please please please… oh my god.”

Kurt finally gave in and slid deeper, one smooth push all the way in, and god. Blaine could feel him everywhere – he was so perfectly filled, he could feel Kurt’s balls touching his, Kurt’s hipbones digging against his ass as Blaine leaned instinctively forward to get a better angle, one that moved Kurt’s cock even deeper inside him.

“Are you okay?” Kurt’s frantic voice broke into his daze.

“I’m perfect, god, Kurt. Move, please move. I want you to fuck me.”

Blaine had no idea he would love this so much. The few times he had tried this alone were fine, and he got off harder with his fingers in his ass while jerking off, but this, with Kurt’s cock deep inside him, moving faster as Kurt seemed no longer able to hold back, was another level of pleasure entirely.

It wouldn’t last long at all.

Pleasure welling up like a tide inside him, Blaine caught Kurt’s hand before it could encircle his bobbing cock.

“No,” he gasped. “If you as much as touch me, this will be the end of it.”

“Please.” Kurt’s voice was strained. “I want you to come first and I can’t much longer… Blaine.”

It only took three slides of Kurt’s hand, a few fast, hard jerks of Kurt’s cock deep within him and he was coming, so hard his body twitched, muscles spasming with every pulse. Behind him, Kurt stilled, his voice breaking roughly in a cry of Blaine’s name before his teeth sunk into Blaine’s shoulder in a delicious counterpart to the pleasure ebbing through his body.

They came down feeling ravished – sweaty bodies still stuck together, breathless and high on the absolutely fantastic sex. But then Kurt moved a little, his spent cock almost sliding out, and he let out a distressed sound.

“Oh god, we haven’t thought this through. This is going to be such a mess, what do I do now?”

He sounded so mortified that Blaine couldn’t help but giggle – which was a mistake, of course, because Kurt did slide out then, and with him enough warm wetness to make Blaine squeak and quickly grab a handful of tissues from the bedside table. He fumbled awkwardly to turn to his other side so that he could face Kurt and keep the undignified process of cleaning up as discreet as possible. Kurt’s face was bright red when their eyes finally met.

“So that was–” Blaine started, feeling himself blush, too.

“Amazing,” Kurt breathed, to his great relief. “But so messy. I think I’m not quite ready for this part yet.”

Blaine chuckled self-consciously. “Yeah, maybe we should stick to condoms for now. But did you like it?”

Kurt beamed. “I loved it. And I have a feeling you liked it too.”

“Duh.” Blaine rolled his eyes and ducked his head to kiss Kurt’s nipple. “So when can we do that again?”

“Sadly, not today. I have to shower and go home; Dad and Carole should be back soon and I don’t want to rely on Finn to lie for me.”

Blaine arched an eyebrow and Kurt quirked a lopsided smile. “Did you actually think they let me spend the night with you?”

Oh. Okay then. Blaine was going to pout for some more time cuddling in the afterglow, but the prospect of getting on the wrong side of Burt Hummel made him sit up. “Okay then, shower time! You go first.”

After closing the door behind Kurt, Blaine went back to his room that still smelled of sex, and stretched leisurely on top of his sheets, sated and happy.

The insistent buzzing of his phone woke him up an hour later. Still bleary-eyed, he looked at the display and frowned. Oh well, he could just as well deal with it now.

“Sebastian,” he said in lieu of a greeting. “I was just going to call you today.”

“Were you?” The voice in the speaker sounded surprised.

Blaine sighed and got up to sit in his desk chair. Talking to Sebastian while lying on the bed felt wrong.

“Don’t get too excited. I just wanted to ask you to back off. I saw you last night. I read your texts after the show. I appreciate that you find me attractive, but I’m just not interested, Sebastian. At all. I’m with Kurt. I love Kurt, he’s my soulmate, what we have is special and I’m just not interested in any other guys, okay? Please respect that.”

He fully expected some sarcastic quip, but Sebastian paused before saying with an unusual softness, “Okay. I will. Just… could we meet today? At the coffeeshop or wherever you choose.”

“Sebastian, I just told you–” Blaine snapped, impatient.

“Please. It’s important. I need to talk to you alone. Just give me five minutes.” He sounded so serious, worried even, that despite his better judgment, Blaine couldn’t say no.

They met in the Lima Bean two hours later. Blaine was wary as he approached the table where Sebastian was waiting for him, hands folded on the table and two coffee cups in front of him. He smiled as Blaine sat down on the edge of the chair.

“I bought you coffee.”

“You really shouldn’t have.”

Sebastian rolled his eyes, some of his usual attitude showing through the weirdly subdued air he exuded today. “Come on. I’m just trying to be nice, I promise I didn’t spike it.”

Blaine sighed and took the cup. “Thank you. So what was it that you wanted to talk about? I don’t have much time.”

Sebastian cleared his throat and took a sip of his own coffee before speaking. “Right. So… I was thinking about you last night before I went to sleep. You really looked so hot on that stage, I couldn’t resist–“

Blaine bristled. “Ugh, I should have known better. I tell you that I’m not interested and I want you to back off, and you make me meet you so that you can tell me about your fantasies? No, thank you.” He started to stand up, but Sebastian shot forward and grabbed his hand.

“No, please, hear me out.” Sebastian’s eyes were wide, his breathing fast. He pulled his hand back when Blaine paused. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know for sure you weren’t interested last night. So I… yes, okay, fantasized. I’m sorry. But that’s not really important. I had dreams about you all night afterwards, but that’s not important either.”

“So what is important?” Blaine was really losing his patience now.  

Sebastian gave him a long, pleading look. “This morning… when I woke up, I found this.” And with that, Sebastian pulled up the overlong cuff of the sweater he was wearing.

Blaine gasped.

There, in a neat straight line from the side of Sebastian’s left wrist to the first knuckle of his thumb, was Blaine’s name – in his own handwriting, in the all-too-familiar sepia tones of the mark.