Kurt's arm was securely around his waist when he woke up the second time. His back was pressed against Kurt's chest and he could feel Kurt's steady heart beat. He reached for Kurt's hand, bringing it to his lips to kiss his knuckles. Kurt kissed the back of his neck in return and Blaine turned around to face his boyfriend, ready to cover him in kisses.

Kurt smiled at him but his smile didn't reach his eyes, which immediately alarmed Blaine.

"I think we should talk," Kurt said quietly.

"About what?"

"About what happened…I'm so sorry."

Blaine pushed the blanket off him and sat down, looking around the room for his underwear.

"Blaine," Kurt hesitantly put a hand on his shoulder. "Lets take a shower since we're kind of gross and then we can talk."

"I wanna go home. We can talk another time."

"Blaine, please."

"No," Blaine shook his head vehemently, still avoiding Kurt's sight. "Believe it or not, what happened meant something to me and having you regret it a few hours after we did that? I don't think I can handle it right now. We can break up tomorrow."

"I don't want us to break up. Blaine, please!" Kurt grabbed Blaine's arm and forced him to turn around. "I do NOT want to break up with you!"

"Then what's wrong?"

"Nothing!"

"You said you're sorry that we had sex, Kurt. Something is terribly wrong if you ask me!"

"Can I at least explain myself before you dump me?"

"God, I don't wanna dump you! I just don't know what's going on!"

"That's why I want to talk, Blaine."

"It's getting late. I should probably go home. We can talk in the morning, okay?"

"No. Stay here," Kurt pleaded. "Just text Sam that you won't be coming home tonight. Please, baby, please, don't leave. Let me explain." Kurt eyes were glassy and his grip on Blaine's arm was firm. They were still naked and Blaine did feel sticky and uncomfortable. He desperately needed a shower. And Kurt. He needed Kurt but he wasn't sure where the night would take them from here. He believed that the morning was wiser than the evening. Seeing Kurt so distressed and utterly sad made him change his mind though.

"Go take a shower and I'll let Sam know." Kurt exhaled a shuddered breath at his words.

"Thank you. Thank you so much."

Kurt showered very quickly, leaving the bathroom only in a towel around his waist. He gave Blaine instructions where he could find anything he might need and then disappeared in his bedroom. Blaine found him there fifteen minutes later, looking into his closet, still half naked.

"I don't have any suitable pajamas," he said when Blaine entered the room. "Everything I have is too big for you."

Blaine slowly walked to him and took his hand. "You don't want to break up, right?"

"No, I don't." Kurt confirmed.

"We already slept naked on the couch, I think we can manage without pajamas." Blaine tugged his boyfriend to bed and slid under covers, motioning to Kurt to join him. Kurt carefully did so, keeping his distance from Blaine and waiting for Blaine to set the boundaries. Blaine lay on his side and looked at him expectantly.

"Can you tell me what's going on?"

"You deserved better than that…"

"Better than what?"

"Hurried sex on the couch…"

"Is it how you see what happened between us?"

"I'm not very good at talking about my feelings and emotional stuff...I grew up with my dad and we never really talked about things until I was like sixteen. I'm not used to...I don't even know how to start." Kurt sighed heavily, reaching for Blaine's hand in need of support. Blaine squeezed his hand encouragingly and smiled at him.

"I don't regret what happened, Kurt."

"I was different back in Ohio, you know," Kurt started. "Innocent and probably a lot more clueless than necessary. I loved romance and the mere thought of sex repulsed me. I dreamt of hand holding and cuddling, kissing under the stars and hugging. It was my idea of romance and what I imagined my relationship would be like. When my dad gave me the sex talk, I literally put fingers in my ears. He had to force me into listening. It was a great speech. He told me how I matter and that I shouldn't throw myself around. I carried his words with me and they kind of made my adaptation process in New York more complicated. After I started at Vogue, I got hit on regularly and it was so strange for me. No one took any interest in me in Lima, except my bully, who kissed me in a locker room and threatened my life."

"What?!"

"That's a story for another time." Kurt dismissed it and continued. "So I started dating but it never went very far because mostly they just wanted to go out and hook up and I wasn't interested in that. When Ben came around, things changed. We kind of clicked and he really cared about me and I lost my virginity to him on our two month anniversary. We didn't plan on it. It just happened. I can't say I regret that. I didn't love him though. We broke up and I dated a few guys after. This time around, I hooked up with them, which I'm not proud of. I went with the crowd and it wasn't very smart of me. Everybody does that in college, so why not me? It was fun, no strings attached, no whiny boyfriend and it seemed to be enough. Until Elliot found Ted. He was so smitten by him...From the beginning they had what I always wanted to have. I decided, then, that I would find my romance. When you asked me out for coffee, I knew it was my chance. You were nothing like other guys and I already had the biggest crush on you. I promised myself not to screw this up. What we have is so precious to me, Blaine. The way we started, just hand holding and kisses on the cheek before we progressed to more, it was what I always dreamt of. I like that we went one step at a time and I feel like I failed today. I...I thought of roses and candles for our first time together. I still can't believe I let my hormones and your hotness win over my brain. You are not a hook up, Blaine. You deserve so much better…" Blaine leaned forward and kissed Kurt's lips sweetly, trying to erase his discomfort.

"Maybe we rushed into it but we've been together for three months, Kurt. It's no surprise it happened. I don't need roses or candles but if it's something you like to have, then we can have it. We've just started, Kurt. We haven't tried anything yet. We can do whatever you want. As long as you tell me. I mean, we both obviously made a mistake because we didn't communicate things properly. I was wondering what was wrong and why you kept stopping to cool down but I was afraid to ask."

"You don't have to be afraid to ask anything, Blaine. I'm used to acting instead of talking so sometimes I'm going to just assume that you know why I'm doing what I'm doing. If there is something you need to know, you have to ask directly."

"Okay," Blaine said thoughtfully. "What would you like to do next? I mean, when it comes to intimacy...Just because we had sex tonight, it doesn't mean we can't wait a bit longer to do it again. I won't force you into anything you aren't comfortable with."

"I wanna learn your body," Kurt told him as his fingers slowly disentangled from Blaine's. He ran his hand over Blaine's shoulder and down his arm before he placed it on Blaine's waist, stroking his boyfriend's smooth skin with his thumb. "I wanna know what you like and don't like, what your weak spots are and how you respond to my hands and lips on you...I wanna take time in memorizing you. You matter Blaine and I matter, too...our relationship matters and I don't want to skip anything. You make my old dreams about romance come true. With you I can finally have that and I know we are not sixteen anymore, nor are we each other's first but this is new to me. I've never felt like this and I just have to make sure I won't do anything that would harm us. You are so sweet and caring and you deserve nothing less than the best. And it's not just about sex. Everything. You deserve the best of everything."

Blaine was mesmerized with the man laying next to him. Kurt was looking him in the eyes, deadly serious, his face beautiful and his sight so so honest. Blaine raised his hand to caress Kurt's cheek, once again overwhelmed with the strength of emotions towards Kurt.

"You deserve the best of everything, too."

"I've already got you, Blaine. There is nothing better in this world for me." Blaine shot a big toothy smile at him which was reciprocated immediately with a smile just as bright as Blaine's was that Blaine decided to throw all caution to the wind.

"I love you, Kurt." The words left his mouth easily, as it was the most natural thing to say and after the talk they just had, he wasn't surprised when Kurt's response came in no time, without missing a beat.

"I love you, too."