The trip to L.A. was enjoyable. Kurt got to meet Mercedes and Puck - his old glee club friends - and they took him clubbing three days in a row while Blaine, with Nick and Jeff, were working their asses of on the set. Cooper claimed Kurt for a day and showed him Universal Studios from an actor's point of view and though Kurt had been a bit afraid of spending the whole day with Blaine's brother, it turned out to be much more entertaining than he initially had hoped for.

He didn't spend much time with Blaine. There wasn't a minute he didn't have some plans for. It was a little frustrating for Kurt. He thought about how Blaine wanted him to travel with him but Kurt didn't see the appeal. He could easily be without Blaine in New York with as much time as they weren't spending together. There was no point in going anywhere if he didn't get to see him either way. They shared the bed, a quick morning kiss and that was it. Kurt could also tell how Blaine was trying to make some time for Kurt but he wasn't able to do that and then he seemed to be sad, as if he thought Kurt was blaming him for it. Which he wasn't, of course. It was Blaine's job and that was it. Kurt understood. And he told Blaine so, he just wasn't sure whether Blaine believed him or not.

Kurt was finishing the last touches on the present he just wrapped for Blaine since it was their one month anniversary when he heard insistent knocking on the door. He opened them and found Cooper standing there.

"Hi." Kurt greeted him, surprised to see him. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm here to pick you up." Cooper grinned at him.

"I'm waiting for Blaine...he should come any minute…"

"That's where you're wrong. Blaine is on his way to my stylist. Come on, lets go."

"Where is he?!"

"He and the guys got an invitation for the birthday party of some producer...big name in business, you know. They couldn't decline. Blaine is singing for him. Last minute arrangements."

"Oh…" Kurt tried to hide his disappointment. It was Blaine's job. They could celebrate their anniversary in New York. "Okay. I'll call Puck if he is free tonight."

"Why would you call him to see whether he is free when you're not?"

"I'm not? You've just said that Blaine is attending the party…" Kurt was confused. He still had some troubles in catching up with Cooper.

"So are you, Kurt. Come on. We need to get you dressed."

"What?"

"Jesus, you're really difficult. You are going to the party with us. Blaine told me that you didn't bring a suit with you so I have to get you to my stylist. She'll help you with that."

"Why didn't Blaine call me?"

"I don't know. Come on, Kurt. You can ask whatever you want in the car but right now we have to go." Kurt nodded dumbly and took his wallet and phone.

Cooper's stylist was a cool girl who helped eased Kurt's tension. Nick and Jeff were there as well and they joked with him to take his mind from overreacting because they could see he was under a lot of pressure.

The three of them hopped into a car that was waiting for them and Kurt was expecting Blaine to already be there but he wasn't.

"Where is Blaine?" He asked warily, not liking the situation at all.

"He is going with Cooper in a different car…" Nick told him.

"Why?"

"We're not doing a press show." Jeff explained. "They are going to smile into the cameras while we are sneaking inside."

"I thought it was a birthday party...Isn't it like private or something?"

"Not in this business. There'll be lots of people from media. But they'll be gone for the afterparty."

"Afterparty of a birthday party? That's insane…"

"Look, it's how it works. You make a big fuss about something and then you shut the press out."

"I really don't think me going there is a good idea."

"Blaine wants you there."

"He could have at least called me about it." Kurt pointed out.

"It was a crazy day. We needed to wrap it up on time so Blaine could rehearse a little. He didn't have time for anything. He hated that he couldn't be with you at all this week. He is going to make it up to you." Nick smiled at him encouragingly.

"This is how it's going to be with him, isn't it?"

"I'm not going to lie to you, Kurt." Jeff said seriously. "You met Blaine while he was doing Broadway. It was easy for him to be around you because he didn't have to do promo stuff. He's going to be away a lot now. There'll be interviews, concerts, photoshoots, video shootings, events he is supposed to attend...He is going to be everywhere. His PR is going to make sure of it. I thought he talked to you about it..."

"He did...But I've never...I couldn't imagine what it would mean because I've never dated anyone like him…"

"You'll get used to it, don't worry. You still have us for long, cold nights." Nick grinned at him and Kurt laughed.

The party wasn't half bad. Blaine sang beautifully and he often searched for Kurt's eyes and even sent him a wink so Kurt relaxed and tried to have fun. His company for the evening was his boyfriend's best friends since there was always someone claiming Blaine's attention and Kurt didn't know whether to join him or not. As Blaine never came to him to take Kurt with him to whomever he was going to speak to, Kurt stayed by their table and sent polite smiles to people who acknowledged him.

It was after midnight and Kurt was tired. The guy who was sitting next to him and talking to him was over the top. Kurt had to use all his power not to tell him to shut the fuck up. Who cares that he was a new hollywood sensation? He had nothing intelligent to say and his poor attempt in flirting with Kurt was really, really bad. Kurt was so focused on not to say anything bad to the man that he didn't notice Blaine watching him from the bar where he was standing.

"Why don't you go over there and save him from his misery?" Jeff nudged his best friend's side.

"Phillip wanted to talk to me about the possibility of me guest starring in his new show. I don't want Kurt to get bored by business talk…"

"Yeah, 'cos he is having such a great time right now."

"Do you think he likes it?" Blaine turned his head to face his friend, waiting for an answer.

"Likes what?"

"A guy openly flirting with him…"

"Are you crazy? Can't you see how bored he is? What the hell, man?"

"I don't know...It's just that there is so much I can't do as his boyfriend...maybe he would want more from me…"

"I think, he deserves at least one epic blowjob for what you've put him through tonight. And I also think he wants it from you and not a donkey face next to him."

"Well, I hope the big bouquet of sunflowers would make it…"

"With a blowjob, right?"

"Jeff!" Blaine warned him. "It's really not the place to talk about something like that here."

"Why not? I have to make sure that Kurt is taken care of."

"He will be taken care of, just not the way you are suggesting."

"What? Why not?!"

"We don't…do that."

"Don't do what?" Jeff asked. Blaine glared at him. Was Jeff really that slow?

"We don't...we haven't been intimate yet." Blaine whispered to his ear, afraid that someone might hear him.

"What?!" Jeff shrieked. "Why not?!"

"Lower your voice!" Blaine hissed at him.

"Blaine, you two have been eye fucking since you met. What is wrong with you two?"

"Nothing. I just want to go slow."

"It took you half a year to ask him out! How much slower do you want to go for God's sake?" Blaine remained silent. He took a sip from his drink and bored his eyes into the donkey face's head as if he was trying to burn a hole there.

"Okay. What is it really about, Blaine? Blaine!" Jeff snapped his fingers in front of Blaine's face to bring him back to reality where he was a nonviolent person who didn't cause damage to anybody's head.

"I don't think he would like it." Blaine admitted and Jeff raised his eyebrow, a clear sign that he thought his friend had gone out of his mind. "No one stayed with me for more than two months. Besides Sebastian but it was a high school relationship so it doesn't count. My personality or lifestyle or whatever chased them away. If I'd been good in bed they would have stuck with me a while longer…"

"Okay. This is insane, Blaine. So you think withdrawing sex from Kurt would make him stay with you?"

"No...I've never said we won't get there...I just want him to...like me enough not to leave me if I suck at it."

"The guy is head over heels for you, Blaine. Even if you were the worst lover in the whole world, he would stay. And from how Sebastian boasted about your sex life in front of us when you weren't there…"

"He did not!"

"Yes, he did. He was an obnoxious douchebag. A douchebag in love but still a douchebag. And for all we know, you're pretty good at it so stop underestimating your skills and put some moves on!"

"Did the guy just put his hand on Kurt's knee?" Blaine put down his glass and quickly walked to them, leaving smirking Jeff behind. Kurt was just standing up from his chair and telling the man how inappropriate his behaviour was when two arms wrapped themselves around his waist.

"Having fun?" Blaine asked and nuzzled his nose into Kurt's neck.

"Not really. I was hoping for you to co..." Kurt answered but didn't get to finish his sentence because Blaine spun him around and kissed him. There, in the room full of people, who probably didn't give a damn about what they were doing but still. And it wasn't a chaste kiss either. They'd been holding back with their kisses, never getting too deep or passionate. It all seemed to go out the window as Blaine was mapping Kurt's mouth with his tongue, holding him close, taking his breath away.

"God, I missed you so much this week." Blaine muttered after they broke the kiss.

"I missed you, too."

"I'm sorry I left you alone. I'm still waiting for one guy who wants to talk to me...work related stuff...will you be okay on your own for a while? I hate to do this, but.."

"Blaine, it's okay. I understand. Do what you need to do, okay?"

"You sure?"

"Yeah. I'm sure...but can I go back to the hotel? We're leaving in the morning and I could use some sleep before the flight."

"Of course. I'll have car prepared for you."

"No, it's not necessary. I'll take a cab."

"You most certainly won't." Blaine said firmly. "You'll go back in the car you came here in. Nick and Jeff will return with me and Cooper."

"But…"

"No. My decision is final."

Things didn't get better after their arrival to New York. Blaine was busy with whatever work he needed to do before releasing the first single from his album that was coming out in early December and Kurt had to make do with a short phone calls and text messages.

It was almost a week since Kurt had seen Blaine or Nick with Jeff. He was bored to death and Rachel wasn't at home to keep him company. Blaine was god knows where doing god knows what which meant only one thing - he could either call his old college friends or try to find out what Nick and Jeff were doing. Maybe they could grab a beer.

"Hi, Nick. It's me, Kurt." Kurt said enthusiastically into the phone as soon as Nick picked it up.

"Hi. What's up?"

"I was wondering if yo-"

"Nick? What the hell are you doing? I need your help!" The voice in the background unmistakably belonged to Blaine. Kurt was lost. Blaine told him he wouldn't have time for hanging out…

"Nick? Are you with Blaine?"

"Yeah. Sorry, man. He is going to kill me if I don't hang up. Call you later, okay?"

"Okay." Kurt responded, though the line was dead already. What had just happened? Kurt did his best not to jump to conclusions. He'd promised Blaine not to do that. It was really hard for him. There were so many things that could have gone wrong. There were so many what if's, one more ridiculous than the other but it still bugged him.

He stayed home for the evening, watching old movies and not paying any attention to them. Nick didn't call at all which made Kurt even more anxious. Before he went to bed, he called Blaine but of course, he didn't answer his phone.

I miss you. Hope to see you soon. xxx - Kurt

Kurt woke up in the morning to the sound of incoming text on his phone.

Can you come over tonight? 8 p.m.? - Blaine

Have dinner plans with Rachel. 9 p.m.? - Kurt

Great. I'll be waiting for you. - Blaine

By the time Kurt was on his way to Blaine's apartment he'd managed to convince himself that Blaine was going to break up with him. So much for not jumping to conclusions.

"God, I missed you so much." Blaine murmured against Kurt's lips before attacking them again. Kurt held Blaine's shoulders firmly as if it was the only thing to keep him grounded. He was pressed against the wall right next to the elevator in Blaine's apartment and his back ached from how hard Blaine was leaning into him but screw the pain when he was being kissed thoroughly. They'd shared every single innocent, sweet and tender kiss known to man during the month they were together and Kurt never once complained. Blaine needed to take things slow so Kurt granted his wishes. The kiss at the party in L.A. was something they hadn't talked about yet and even though Kurt enjoyed what Blaine was doing to him right now very much, in the back of his mind he knew there was a talk waiting for them because Kurt didn't understand how Blaine could go from taking it slow to I'm going to rock your world, just let me show my tongue down your throat. Fortunately, Blaine had to catch his breath at some point and Kurt took the opportunity to say something.

"As amazing as this is, I think we should go somewhere more comfortable."

"Sorry. Couldn't help myself." Blaine apologized, stepping away from him. Kurt unglued himself from the wall and smiled at him.

"Don't get me wrong. I really loved it but I'm kind of curious what brought that on…"

"I missed you." Blaine repeated his previous words again and hugged Kurt, being careful not to cause any more damage to his body.

"I missed you, too." Kurt sighed silently.

"I have something prepared for you." Blaine took his hand and led him to the living room. They sat down and Kurt immediately snuggled to Blaine, not wanting to be apart from him.

"Where are you going?" He protested when Blaine kissed the top of his head and got up.

"Close your eyes. I'll be right back." Kurt heard some noise from the kitchen but he beat the urge to turn around and see what Blaine was up to.

"Are your eyes closed?"

"Yes." Kurt nodded.

"You're lying! Close your eyes, Kurt."

"Okay." Kurt resigned and closed his eyes, wondering how Blaine could know they weren't closed in the first place. There was a bit of shifting and then he felt Blaine slid next to him.

"You can open them." Kurt did as he was told, taking in the sight in front of him.

"A cake?"

"A heart-shaped tiramisu." Blaine grinned and offered him a bite.

"Oh my god! That's so good! How did you get this? I thought they don't deliver…"

"They don't. I made it." Blaine announced proudly, leaving Kurt speechless. "I know how much you liked it on our first date. I had a plan for our one month anniversary in L.A. but we went to the party so I had to come up with something else…"

"What plan?"

"I can't tell you. I can use it as an idea for another date when we are there."

"So you made me tiramisu?"

"I bribed the cook to give me the recipe...I was pretty sure that was the hardest part of it but actually making it was much more difficult." Kurt laughed at that.

"Stop laughing! We spent five days in the kitchen. I've made dozens of cakes until it was the way it is supposed to be!"

"Wait, 'we' spent?"

"Nick and Jeff helped a lot. We barely slept."

"Blaine…" Kurt smiled softly at him, taking another bite of his treat. "This is amazing. Thank you."

"I just wanted you to know that I'm willing to work hard to make you happy...didn't want you to think that I want to get away easily with presents I can buy…"

"Well...I had a surprise for you as well in L.A.. It's in my closet. I didn't bring it because I thought you were going to break up with me…" Blaine's smile faded away and his whole body tensed.

"W-What?"

"You were distant and I thought that maybe I did something wrong…"

"Kurt, I tried to be in touch with you as much as I could without burning my kitchen down and giving the surprise away!"

"I know, I know. I'm sorry. I promised not to assume something without talking to you first but I couldn't help it. Please, don't be mad." Kurt pouted and lifted the fork to Blaine's mouth. "Here. We are going to share this and then we can talk about how you became the best tiramisu maker in the whole world."

"I'm not the best ti…" Kurt put the fork into his mouth and Blaine swallowed the offered piece before opening his mouth to protest again. Kurt didn't give him a chance though. He kissed him slow and deep, effectively shutting him up.

"You are the best." Kurt insisted and they ate the rest of tiramisu in silence, exchanging soft smiles and small kisses. After the clean plate was put down on the coffee table, tension in the room increased. Kurt was thinking of how to start the inevitable conversation they needed to have while Blaine was just watching him intensely. Kurt couldn't break the eye contact no matter how much he wanted to do so. With his lack of words, Kurt gave Blaine every permission to press their lips together. Just for a little while, Kurt promised himself but all those repeated promises disappeared as Blaine was licking his way inside Kurt's mouth. Kurt granted him access, inhaling sharply and burying his hands into Blaine's curls to bring him closer. A little while took a bit longer than it was supposed to, but Kurt was only human. He'd spent months thinking of how Blaine's kisses would be like and then - when Blaine had become finally his - he'd had to settle for chaste kisses, per Blaine's wishes, so could anyone blame him for wanting this to last as long as possible? They were just sitting next to each other and kissing. There was nothing wrong about it...except there was. Blaine's hands were everywhere from the top of Kurt's head and his now not so perfectly styled hair to his slim waist and Kurt let him. He let Blaine caress his chest and back through his shirt, he let him play with his hair and run his hands up and down his arms, he even let Blaine straddle his thighs. He would let Blaine do anything to him as much as he wouldn't stop kissing him. Everything hit him in full force when his shirt got untacked and Blaine's hands started to roam under the fabric that was preventing skin on skin contact.

And if we had ended up doing something, I would have regretted it in the morning.Blaine's words echoed in his mind and he broke their kissing immediately.

"We should stop." Kurt said quietly but firmly and gently pushed Blaine out of his lap.

"Oh…" Blaine responded and fixed his gaze on the floor. "I'm sorry. I thought we were...never mind." He stood up and took the dessert plate from the table.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm going to put this into a dishwasher…"

"Jesus, Blaine! Sit down! What's up with you?" He pulled on Blaine's sleeve and Blaine landed his pretty ass right next to him.

"We don't have to talk about this…" Blaine's ears were red. He was clearly embarrassed and he avoided looking at Kurt at all costs.

"Well, I think that we should talk about it."

"I understand, Kurt. You don't want to and I won't fo-"

"I don't want what?"

"Going further..."

"What?! I had a sex dream about you the first night we met, Blaine! You were the one who wanted to go slow!"

"I changed my mind." Blaine stated weakly as if it was something wrong.

"You changed your mind? When? How come I'm not informed about it? You weren't ready and all of a sudden you are?" Blaine bit his lower felt stupid, forcing himself on Kurt like that. Even though Kurt hadn't complained in the beginning which made Blaine confused. He still refused to look at Kurt. He sat there, waiting for Kurt to say something or leave or whatever. He wasn't sure what he wanted. Kurt wouldn't just leave, that much was obvious. The only way to get Kurt out of his apartment was to ask him to go and Blaine wasn't strong enough to do that. Kurt took Blaine's hand into his and brought them to his lips to kiss them.

"Blaine?" He asked softly. "Please, tell me what's on your mind."

Blaine retrieved his hand and folded them on his chest. He rested his head against the back of the sofa and looked dumbly to the ceiling.

"I don't know what I'm doing." He admitted brokenly as a tear slipped down his cheek. "I feel like what I do is not enough. I wanted us to go slow because I don't think I'm good at it...you know, sexual stuff. I was afraid that you would be disappointed and leave me before we even started. I know you wouldn't do that...rationally I know you're not that kind of person but I just can't help some nagging thoughts that keeps coming and telling me that I'm a failure. I can't even kiss you goodbye in public because I'm a coward, Kurt. You deserve so much more. When the guy was flirting with you at that party, I was wondering whether it was something you'd like me to do openly…so I decided not to keep my distance from you...because it's not that I don't want to be intimate with you. I do. I really, really want you...but I haven't had sex in almost three years and even then no one stuck around for longer than a few weeks so..." Blaine shrugged his shoulder and wiped his tears, still not sparing Kurt a single glance. God, he was so pathetic. What was Kurt even doing there with him?

"Blaine," Kurt cupped Blaine's cheeks and turned his head so they faced each other at last. "Listen to me carefully, okay? I am crazy about you. I don't care what other couples do and we don't. I don't need a kiss goodbye in public. I don't need any of that PDA shit because it doesn't matter. I'm happy with you when we watch movies or hang out with our friends and you hold my hand or kiss my temple. I don't need anything more. It's enough for me to feel content and safe and taken care of. Don't compare yourself to some generally accepted prototype of a boyfriend. I'm not with you because you fit the definition. I'm with you because you don't. You're not an ordinary person, Blaine. You are single most beautiful man I've ever met. Inside and out. You make me feel special and thanks to you I have faith in me again. You are incredible and I can't have you feeling badly because of one asshole who talked to me at some random birthday party. I need you to talk to me though. Whatever is troubling you, I need to know so we can get through it, okay? I promise I won't get mad but you have to tell me the real reason behind your actions." Blaine nodded and Kurt wrapped his arms around him, engulfing him in a bear hug.

"Thank you." Blaine whispered into his shoulder and Kurt tightened his grip on him even more.

"Now we're going to talk about sex." Kurt ordered and Blaine groaned, not really looking forward to discussing the topic. "Come on, Blaine. The pace has to be set. What are you comfortable with? We can go back to light kisses or we can make out like we did today with some rules made."

"Rules?"

"Yeah, rules. Like no touching under the clothes or below the waist, I don't know. What do you think? What are you okay with? Honestly."

"I think I'd like to take things a bit further than what we did tonight….ermm...like maybe losing a shirt?"

"Okay. Something else?"

"Well," Blaine shifted and started to play with Kurt's belt. "Maybe we could lose pants, too…" A smirk appeared on Kurt's face but he composed himself quickly. He had to stay strict.

"And you know...I-I think there is nothing wrong with being naked while kissing...a-and touching…if it's okay with you..." Kurt's facial expression was serious and Blaine didn't know whether he crossed the line or not. But Kurt wanted him to be honest so he was.

"Is that really what YOU want? Or is that what you think I want?"

"It is what I want and I hope you want that too…" Blaine said truly, looking Kurt right in the eyes.

"Okay. No sex though." Kurt stated, making Blaine open his eyes widely.

"What? Where is the point of being naked then? I can't be...Like it's not possible...We need to keep our clothes on if there isn't going to be…" Blaine was flustered, struggling to word his thoughts. Kurt was observing him with a devious smile.

"I don't understand what you want to say, Blaine. Can you be more specific?" He teased him.

"You're hot, Kurt...and you t-turn me on a lot...I…" Blaine took a deep breath, cursing internally at how awkward his verbalization was. "I can't promise I won't...ehm...you know…have a situation..." It was the point where Kurt lost it and his laugh filled the apartment.

"Oh my god, Blaine! You're so adorable." He leaned in and smacked a sloppy kiss on Blaine's lips. "I meant full intercourse. I think there is a lot to experience together before we come to that...Of course I want us to get some pleasure and ease the sexual tension…"

"You're such a jerk." Blaine complained. "You let me sweat for nothing!"

"Come here," Kurt grabbed Blaine's face into his hands and brought their mouth together in a heated kiss. "You sure about this?" He whispered one last time and Blaine nodded, diving in for another breathtaking lip connection.