PART 2: The world and us:

The world was huge, Blaine knew. Big enough to escape into and become lost in. That though, in that moment, didn't scare him. He welcomed it in fact. How could he not give in to the question with an easy 'yes.' He was so far gone into the dangerous chains of love that he could never dream of denying a simple suggestion, a cry for something more. If someone had told Blaine Anderson he would be running away from home at age seventeen, he wouldn't have believed you, because it wasn't what good boys did. It wasn't what people from his neighborhood did. It wasn't what his father expected of him, and maybe that was part of why he did it.

Blaine had never had a wish of being different than he were, not until he met Kurt. Then he'd suddenly wished he was all Kurt dreamed of, if only he knew what that was apart from New York. So escaping to the city of Kurt's dreams, being a part of that, helping him, seemed like a step in the right direction of hopefully becoming what Kurt needed in the end.

Kurt aimed big. He reached for something greater than a simple place on the planet. He couldn't be content with being unknown and small. He needed to grow, he needed the world to see him for who he were, and love him for it. It was who Kurt was. Maybe it was a flaw but the mere thought of him made Blaine almost tear up because the image was blinding and breathtaking.

It all seemed like a memory of that moment, like something that had already happened though it hadn't, because it seemed so right and touchable. Of course Kurt and Blaine should run, they should run till they reached the end of the world and they should never look back and never regret. They should live and love till there were nothing left. Talk till words slipped up and weren't important anymore, and they could simply be with each other. Till everything became exactly right.

It was with those thoughts, Blaine quietly packed his things and robbed his fathers' safety box. He almost didn't feel bad about it. He knew his father would never approve of, and much less finance, this spontaneous trip, but he felt like he owed it to Blaine, after the many years of not caring weather Blaine went left or right as long as he became a person he could be proud of calling his son.

Blaine was pretty sure that he lost that chance the moment he came out to his father. Blaine had accepted that, but a little payback wouldn't hurt him.

Blaine thought about his mother, she would be sad. He felt sorry for hurting her, but he couldn't afford to spare anybody's feelings in this. He had to be selfish because he couldn't bear the thought of Kurt going without him. Kurt alone in the world, maybe Kurt being out there with someone else.

He would never return. This wasn't just a vacation, it wasn't temporary, he was sure that was what Kurt had meant. He had seen it in his eyes, the determination, the longing. It was like he'd seen a little bit of their future pass before him, like Kurt had promised without words that things would be different than they were now, that everything would be reborn into something great that were theirs. Something no one could touch.

A world with no bullies and no disappointed fathers.

Blaine looked around in his room; he decided to leave everything behind. He couldn't bring anything that reminded him of his old life because it would only remind him of his mother, and maybe Rachel.

Rachel. She'd choke if he told her about their plans, she'd yell at him, call him crazy and suicidal. She simply wouldn't understand.

He was going to miss her though, miss all her craziness. But she had a life here, a talent to keep her occupied, and Finn. He couldn't bring her or tell her, it was too big a risk.

He could tell no one, Kurt had said so himself. That people would only try to stop them. So Blaine wouldn't tell because then it would be his fault, he would stop Kurt, and he couldn't bear the thought of that.

It was one o'clock in the night when Blaine, as quietly as possible, moved down the stairs with his suitcase.

Kurt was outside, he was leaning up against one of the lampposts, waiting for him. Blaine was carrying a great feeling inside, the beginning, he called it. It was like when you were a kid and you were looking forwards to something big.

''Hi,'' he breathed out.

He needed to turn around.

''Hello Blaine.''

He was expected to go back.

He couldn't, he wouldn't.

''let's go.'' He grinned instead.

***

They called a taxi further into the city, when they were a safe distance from their houses; they drove in almost silence to the airport.

There were something like hope on Kurt's face, and the same determination in his eyes from earlier. He was clenching his own hands, so Blaine out his own over them, locking his eyes with Kurt's. Kurt smiled, seemed to relax a little, whatever were bothering him didn't seem like something he wanted to talk about. But Blaine knew, because he felt it too. Of course, he wasn't about to live his lives biggest dream like Kurt, but he could understand how Kurt felt, the fear that everything might not be like he'd imagined.

It would be, and Blaine told him that.

''I know, I'm being silly, it's just... I don't know what I'd do if it's not like I want it to be, and I know it can't be. My dreams and prayers never come true Blaine, it's always just that, hopeless wishes.'' He paused for a moment, ''but I do think this might be the greatest thing I ever do, and if it's not. I'm still glad I get to share it with someone special.''

It was putting a pressure on Blaine's shoulders, but Blaine welcomed it. He would make all Kurt's dreams come true even if it was the last thing he ever did.

''What have you prayed for before?'' Blaine asked.

''many things I can't talk about.''

Blaine he swallowed his curiosity because pushing wouldn't help anything, so they fell silent once again.

***

They were on the plane a few hours later; Blaine had seen Kurt staring up at the board announcing the flight to New York City, and he swore he'd seen tears in his eyes.

Blaine wanted to ask so badly, but didn't.

They sat side by side in the plane and Blaine's heart was pounding at the take-off. It felt like freedom, flying away with Kurt, knowing his parents were back home, asleep. At that moment, he felt like nothing could touch him, Kurt had a broad smile on his face beside him, and Blaine mirrored the expression, feeling more in love than ever.

***

New York was chaotic and wonderful. There were people everywhere, people running, people talking in cell phones, people with lives and family's and lovers. Little fractures of the city spread all over the dark concrete. Flashing commercials all over the place, taxis, people, cars, people.

Everywhere they looked, they could disappear in hordes of humans and colors.

Kurt was in awe, he smiled at everyone, trying to take in, and remember everything. Blaine was amazed too, the sight of Kurt being so happy made his heart ache in the best way.

New York was big and powerful. It was everything. They walked around all day, and when the night fell, they walked around some more. The city that never sleeps, Kurt had said. You never had to stop and think about your problems, never had to be concerned about a thing, because life always went on the next day. You could truly disappear and be gone.

Blaine carefully started to wonder if that was why Kurt had longed to be here. Kurt with the many secrets, Kurt the mystery, maybe he was broken inside. Blaine didn't know because Kurt never told him, and Blaine wanted to know, he wanted Kurt to tell him if it was painful, wanted to tell him where it hurt. He wanted Kurt to tell him all the things he couldn't tell anyone, because Blaine wasn't anyone, he was Kurt's best friend. They should tell each other about the little things as well as the big ones.

They walked the next day too until they couldn't stand anymore and checked into a hotel. That was when Kurt broke down, maybe it was because he was tired, or maybe it was the overwhelming feeling of being home that he must have felt. Blaine was there for him, at first Kurt didn't speak, he just stared into the small mirror for a long minute before he started sobbing. Blaine had thought them to be happy tears, but when they grew stronger; Blaine leapt off the bed and moved to hold him. Kurt cried in his arms for a long time, till he had to speak to keep himself from crying anymore.

''I have to tell you something,'' he said, small and broken, not at all like the strong confident voice that Blaine had heard so many times.

''Anything, you can tell me anything.''

Kurt sighed, shaking 'it's my fault my mother died.''

***

Blaine was silent, the room was silent, only the sound of the cars outside was heard. Then Kurt spoke again, ''she's dead because of me. This guy, Dave Karofsky, we went to middle school together, he was the biggest bully of them all, and I was his main target.''

Blaine understood now why Kurt had said things would get better, and why he had believed him. It had been Kurt's plan all along to save Blaine. He wanted to rescue Blaine from his bullies because he'd been there himself, because he understood. The thought was overwhelming and Blaine couldn't even be sure it was true.

Kurt continued; ''Karofsky brought a gun to school one day, '' the tears had stopped and Kurt looked straight ahead, looking pale and scared. ''He'd sworn he'd kill me, and he tried to, but my mother stepped in front of me and...''

Blaine knew he should speak, he knew it didn't make sense for him not to. But his throat had made a knot on itself.

He tried anyway.

''Kurt I-'' he cleared his throat, ''Kurt someone amazing once told me that the world was small-minded and full of dumbass bullies.'' Blaine drew in air, ''That's all they are Kurt, dumbass bullies. They don't deserve you thinking you harmed your own family. I wish you wouldn't think like that.''

''How can I not?'' Kurt whispered, ''she got killed saving me, if I hadn't been who I am, she would have lived.''

Kurt looked up at him with big, blue, watery eyes, and Blaine thought he'd never in he's life seen something so sad.

''would she have wanted you to change who you were?'' Blaine asked, ''I don't think so. Your mother loved you for who you were, and she died knowing you and she had fought for that. She didn't die because of you, she died because of the people who can't see, who can't tell, what is really important. That tormentor of yours couldn't see how great you were because of his own prejudices and hate. He deserves all your loathing, not you.''

Blaine didn't know where all of that had come from. He didn't know this person who was sitting on a hotel bed in New York, soothing Kurt. But he knew everything he'd said was right.

Kurt smiled, only a small one ''where do you know all that from.''

''I've learned that from you.'' Blaine answered and raised his hand to capture one of Kurt's tears from falling. He felt calm though his heart was pounding, wild. He was sad and happy at the same time, because Kurt had opened up to him and told him what must have been his biggest secret and worry. Blaine was grateful for that, but he was also scared that Kurt didn't believe him.

''You're amazing Blaine,'' Kurt then said almost too low to be heard.

They were soft, Kurt's lips, soft and careful as they kissed Blaine. Blaine who was caught by surprise and who hadn't expected it in the least. He almost forgot to kiss him back.

Kurt sighed a little, blowing hot air into his mouth. They fit together perfectly like that, Kurt moving to lie on top of Blaine as they kissed slowly. It was how it was supposed to be, Kurt taking control of his body and his heart, making him feel like he could do anything, making him feel like he mattered. Kurt thought he was worth something, worth kissing, and that must have been the single greatest feeling in the universe.

Kurt moved away first to look into Blaine's eyes, he looked a little flustered. Another tear fell from his eyes and landed on Blaine's face, ''I'm sorry.''

''Don't' be sorry. Don't ever be sorry for doing something like that. I love you so much.''

He wouldn't have said it if it wasn't because he couldn't hold it in, but wasn't that what it was supposed to be like? Saying those three words when they wouldn't be kept locked in anymore, when they demanded to be said. He could feel Kurt smile into the second kiss, he was still crying, but Blaine thought, hoped, it might be for a different reason.

He thought he'd never felt quite like this, this happy, this caring or this proud, both of himself and of Kurt. They'd done it, they'd run away, they'd discovered each other. Kurt had given Blaine something to dream about, and if Kurt had asked him that one question again, ''what are your dreams Blaine?'' Blaine would simply answer, ''you, Kurt, you are my dream.''

***

They slept closely that night. Not because they were scared or cold, but because the need for being close was there, huge and alive. Their legs were tangled together under the sheets, and they shared the same breath as their faces lay only inches apart. Blaine didn't feel like ever letting go, he could lie there, in the hotel room, for eternity, doing nothing but observe Kurt breathing, sleeping, living.

It felt like a song. A long, complicated one about love that Blaine was hearing for the first time.

Blaine tried to visualize the scene between Kurt, his mother and Karofsky. The gun, the shot, how scared Kurt must have looked. It pained Blaine to know what Kurt had to remember, what he had to see when he closed his eyes. Blaine wished he could step in and remove those memories, replace them all with happy images of the two of them, make him forget.

The sun was creeping into the small room, hitting Kurt's face. He was blinking his eyes open, and Blaine smiled down at him, ''morning.''

''Do you believe in God, Blaine?''

It was a weird way of saying good morning, a weird way of starting a day. Blaine didn't even think about it when he answered.

''No.''

''I don't either,'' Kurt whispered, ''I believe in me, and I believe in you. But I don't believe in god, I've never seen any god, not in anyone.''

''God is just a word, I think.'' Blaine answered.

''Yeah,'' Kurt said, ''just a word, a word that can make the world tremble though.''

***

They went to central park , Kurt has gotten that look again, the dreaming one. Blaine almost ddn't dare ask.

''Kurt?''

He didn't have to.

''I want to go further.'' Kurt exclaimed.

''Further?''

''Away.''

Blaine swallowed, he felt like they were already far from home, in a new world. But of course, of course it wasn't enough for Kurt. He almost felt angry that Kurt couldn't bear just being together, that he needed more than that

But then Blaine remembered that Kurt was running, he needed to get away from his past, to get somewhere new. Even New York was, for Kurt, full of memories, even if he'd never been there. He might have looked at photos with his mother, seen movies in TV. He needed something new.

So Blaine decided to say; ''how about Europe?''

Kurt kissed him, ''your thoughts are perfect.''

''They are? Should we go?''

Kurt gave him a saucy smile ''We can go anywhere Blaine Anderson.''

Blaine believed him, because how could he not?

***

They packed up quickly, and bid New York goodbye. Something about the city seemed to have settled in Kurt, like it had either shrunk or he'd grown. Blaine was pretty sure it was the latter.

They were going for Paris, Blaine's idea. Secretly he just wanted to go there because it was romantic. He knew that it, for Kurt, was more than that, and he felt like he was being selfish.

That night when Kurt had been asleep, and Blaine had been tossing and turning and listening, Kurt had sighed Blaine's name. He'd been half awake, and so beautiful, and Blaine felt like it mattered, like somehow it was a way of saying he needed Blaine, a plea of never letting go.

Blaine had whispered back in the dark, ''I won't, whatever you think, I won't leave you.''

Blaine knew he would always keep that promise.

***

They were flying high over the water, the blue all around him, in Kurt's eyes, in the sky and in the ocean. It was then, in all the blue, Kurt said; ''Yellow.''

''What?'

''Your name, it means yellow.''

''How do you know that?'' Blaine smiled.

''I looked it up.''

''And what does that mean? Yellow?''

Kurt cracked a smile, ''It means you're my sunflower darling.''

Blaine chuckled at the nickname but only to keep from swooning. They were growing closer every day, or at least that was what it felt like.

''It's not as cool as 'brave,''' Blaine tried to look sad.

Kurt giggled., ''It's really not.''

''You're beautiful,'' Blaine blurted out, because now he could say it. It was like the kiss had changed everything, like he now had the courage to say what he really felt. ''and you're perfect.''

''And you are way too good to me,'' Kurt smiled.

Blaine grinned, ''maybe.''

Blaine felt somehow better about their relationship, like a mountain had been removed from his shoulders and he could concentrate.

He would have asked what Kurt was thinking, but didn't. He was aware that Kurt hadn't said it back in the hotel room, the 'I love you' that had slipped from Blaine's lips. But it was okay, if Kurt wasn't ready to say it yet, that was none of Blaine's business. He needed to stop pushing so badly.

Kurt needed time, he was like a tree that needed time to grow before you plucked the apples, he needed more than Blaine only, he had a dream that went beyond them, and Blaine just had to accept that.

He had many times wondered if Kurt needed him the way he needed Kurt, if he was merely a travelling companion, or a friend to go through this with, a shoulder to cry on perhaps. He didn't dare ask because the answer might not be what he wished for, maybe Kurt would laugh it off and don't give him an answer, maybe he'd look sad even, apologize and say ''I don't love you,'' Blaine couldn't risk it, he'd rather be happily ignorant than heartbroken.

Kurt was beside him now, and that was what mattered. Beautiful, brave Kurt, who knew nothing about what Blaine thought, and knew nothing about his own future apart from it being hopefully bright.

***

They landed in Paris, and they were on the walk again before they knew it. Blaine followed Kurt street up and street down, without knowing what Kurt was searching for. Kurt said he wasn't looking for anything, but Blaine knew that look in his eye by now. He was searching for that one thing that would make everything bearable.

Blaine doubted he would ever find it.

That was the first time Blaine wondered if Kurt could ever be able to love him back.

This time on the hotel, it was Blaine who broke down. Kurt turn to hold him. But when Blaine had to speak, he couldn't.

So Kurt kissed him instead, kissed everything better, and made Blaine forget. He needed to forget all that was bad, because this adventure was about being happy and free.

Kurt removed Blaine's shirt slowly, hands ghosting over his chest. Blaine was breathing heavily, and he could barely see Kurt through his tears.

They rocked together slowly, beautifully. Blaine couldn't believe what was happening, everything felt far away and not real, but solid at the same time. The steady rhythm of Kurt's panting, close to his ear, his own hands clasping Kurt's bare back.

He thought if he should choose a moment to die, it would be right then. He would go back to that hotel room in Paris and stop his heart from beating any further, stop the world from moving on.

Kurt never sped up the pace as every piece of fabric between them disappeared. They slowly went, Kurt kissing every piece of his skin like he was trying to memorize every inch of him, slowly. The intimacy of it was almost too much to.

Yet, it somehow made him feel complete.

No one they knew were near, they had all the time in the world. They breathed each other in as they moved in lazy patterns, no urgency involved as they tangled together and became one creature of need.

Everything was new and raw, like he was recreated with each of Kurt's touches, kisses, and he fell apart in his lovers hands with a cry

***

Blaine woke to a sunlit room and a cold bed. Kurt was not beside him, or in the room at all.

Last night had been Kurt's way of telling him that things would be okay, if he couldn't say it with words, he could say it with his body.

Now Blaine felt the panic set in his bones, where was he? He quickly got up, threw on yesterday's clothes that were thrown across the floor, feeling like he'd somehow grown since the morning before.

Kurt wasn't in sight anywhere, they hadn't brought their phones, because of the tracking issue, and Blaine wished Kurt would have at least left a note. Blaine knew now that this was what he'd been fearing, Kurt leaving him behind to go on his own adventure, a fairytale without him.

Then he turned a corner and almost ran into him, feeling the relief wash over him. Kurt was still there.

''I just went for coffee.'' Kurt sounded surprised.

Blaine hugged him so tightly that he was sure he'd never disappear again.

''hey, its okay, I'm here.'' Kurt whispered.

How had Kurt managed to reduce him to this? Blaine used to think he was okay, maybe his life wasn't exciting or full of faces, but he'd been okay. Kurt had turned everything around, he'd made things better, of course he had, but he'd also made his life harder to carry.

***

Paris lasted three days and then they were off again. Kurt needed more, and what Kurt needed, Blaine felt like he needed too. They saw Rome and they saw Berlin, but none of it ever seemed enough. Every night they would fall into each other until they stopped and they slept instead. Berlin was their last time, and Blaine didn't understand, but didn't ask either.

They still went to see things, but Kurt didn't enjoy it. He went in a frantic speed. Always searching and always hiding.

Copenhagen, then Stockholm, their money were slipping up. Blaine felt like the end of everything was near, Kurt didn't love him , he was sure of it. And when the police in Stockholm caught them, it felt almost like a relief.