Blaine could see Kurt slowly becoming unhappy. Blaine guessed he had gotten spoiled. After a year of marital bliss and half a year of things going, well, fine, Kurt's noticeably increasing unhappiness made it feel like the world was ending.

It was just so strange for Blaine because he had never really seen Kurt unhappy for an extended period of time ever since he met him. Not since they were together. Of course, he had heard about Kurt struggling with depression in the past, mostly from Burt because Kurt refused to talk about it. Kurt made light of the situation with some witty joke and then changed the subject. Blaine had only pressed the issue once, receiving a response he couldn't argue with.

“I don't want you to know me as that. It's not who I am. Not when I'm with you, here in New York with everything I ever could have wished for,” he murmured, forehead pressed against Blaine's.

And that was that.

But the less success Kurt found in landing roles, the more he would ask to have time alone, always writing something in the journal that Blaine had only ever gotten glimpses of. He never really thought to ask about it, that is, until Kurt seemed to be spending more time curled up on the couch with the leather-bound book than with Blaine. Late one night, after a show that had gone particularly well, he finally did ask.

“It's nothing, really,” Kurt shrugged off the question. “Just… little stories. I've always done it. Even in high school. Especially in high school. There wasn't really anything else to do.”

Blaine studied Kurt. He had his trained his eyes on the book, turning it over in his hands before looking up to give Blaine a shy smile.

“I wanted to completely hide it from you. At first.” Kurt saw the question resting in Blaine's eyes and answered him before he could ask it. “They all reflected how I felt. And you know I was crazy about you from the start.”

Blaine smiled. Hearing him talk about when they had just gotten together always made Blaine smile.

“And, well, it was just that. The start. I didn't want to scare you off. Then I stopped for a bit. I didn't have time. I kind of forgot about it… That's why I never bothered showing you.”

“I'm sure reading anything of yours wouldn't be a bother,” Blaine murmured, settling in next to Kurt. “This is going to be fun. Seeing this entirely new side of you. This hot writer side of you.”

Kurt drew the book into himself when Blaine reached out for it. “Well, you'll have to wait. They're not ready. It's not ready.”

“Four years and it's not ready? Will it ever be ready?”

“I… I don't know,” Kurt replied, sounding lost in his own words. “But, until I find out, this hot writer is tired. Come on. You need to get your rest. Two-show day tomorrow, right?”

And that was that.

Blaine noticed Kurt temping more frequently and attending auditions less. But Blaine didn't mention it, not wanting to upset Kurt any more than he already was. And when Kurt did land another tour, he declined.

“Kurt? This was… That was a great opportunity for you. Why…?”

“I missed you too much last time. And back then we had the wedding to look forward to and I… I just don't want to leave your side right now,” Kurt finished.

And Blaine didn't know all of the reasons why Kurt had turned down the part, but he was pretty sure he knew at least one. A good one. Someone.

He was nothing like Kurt.

But, Blaine guessed, that was why he was admittedly drawn to him. Someone to counteract the quiet, moody stage Kurt was going through. Blaine saw him at auditions even, here and there, but everyone knew he didn't care about performing as much as being noticed. He had gotten fairly decent roles. Some noted the only reason he was ever cast was because he had a tendency to sleep with directors, but most kept quiet about that because Sebastian had slept with them too.

He was a scandal and, Blaine guessed, that must be what kept people interested. There was something alluring about the way people talked about him. Something that made Blaine listen to the conversations. Something that made Blaine sneak glances at him at auditions and nervously return the smiles Sebastian gave him. Something that made Blaine's eyes focus on him a little longer as he scanned across the crowd, noticing him planted right in the front row at each performance he headlined.

He was nothing like Kurt. But he looked at Blaine the way Kurt used to when he performed. Drawn in. Focused. Wanting more after each performance. Now, Blaine couldn't help but feel like Kurt was merely indulging him. There for support but no actual interest.

Blaine knew. He knew Sebastian knew his stage credits. He knew Sebastian wanted an in. An attachment to Blaine to help boost his own career. Blaine knew these things, and sometimes he even found himself contemplating what giving Sebastian what he wanted might be like. Blaine wasn't quite sure how he felt about that.

Blaine forced his mind to stop wandering as he wrapped up the song and made some closing remarks, his set finished. Applause met his ears, forcing him back to reality. He smiled and bowed swiftly, welcoming out the next talent before rushing to meet Kurt.

“Wonderful, as always,” Kurt praised, his voice tired. He leaned up, kissing Blaine shortly.

Blaine blinked at Kurt, a smile naturally following the kiss. He let out an exhale.

He was married. He was married to Kurt. He was happy.

Blaine wondered when he started this mental mantra, but decided he would think about it later.

“Thanks. I'm going to go find Mike. Have a few drinks—”

“I have an audition tomorrow,” Kurt reminded Blaine, hinting at the late hour.

“Just… thirty more minutes. Please, Kurt? I haven't really been able to relax. I've been thinking about performing and talking to important people and talking to important people about performing—”

“Alright. Thirty,” Kurt agreed with a knowing grin, letting Blaine wrap him up and kiss him. “I'll be waiting here.”

“You're perfect,” Blaine whispered, flashing a smile and then leaving to find Mike.

“I know. That's why you married me,” Kurt called out with a laugh.

Blaine managed to laugh in reply but couldn't ignore the way the comment had rattled his thoughts. Why had he married Kurt? Why had he proposed? Had he really been ready, or did he just want to take the next step because it felt expected of him? But, Blaine guessed, it didn't matter. Not now. Drinks mattered.

-

“That number up there. That was something.”

“Thank you,” Blaine replied, turning into the voice. Knowing the voice.

Sebastian. Of course. He always managed to find him at some point of the night if they were at the same event. Blaine's gaze naturally fell to Sebastian's lips, but he forced his eyes upwards and a closed mouth smile, not sure why he thought about Kurt suddenly. He hadn't done anything. He hadn't done anything. He hadn't done anything.

“I'm sure you're wonderful yourself. Everyone raves about you.”

“I'd like to think so. I'd like to think I'm wonderful at many things.” Sebastian smirked. “I'll let you in on a little secret,”—Sebastian leaned forward, prompting Blaine to take a drink to distract himself from the sudden nearness—“they don't just call be golden throat because of my singing voice.”

Blaine choked on his drink a little, earning an amused hum from Sebastian.

“Uh, um—” Blaine stuttered and began laughing, not quite sure what to do with himself.

“But I'm nothing compared to the leading man of the hottest ticket on Broadway.”

The compliment fell from Sebastian's mouth too easy. Practiced. But, Blaine guessed, it didn't matter. A compliment was a compliment.

“I heard you're going to be performing at 54 Below this autumn. Impressive.”

“Stressful,” Blaine corrected with a put-upon grin. “But, yes, I'm honored they asked me.”

“Of course they would ask you. Who wouldn't want to come see you?”

Blaine could feel Sebastian's eyes trained on him, and he was happy for that. He would much rather focus on that than the fact that his husband would be the answer to Sebastian's question. Blaine just smiled, not knowing what else to do.

“Who is this?” Blaine heard Kurt's voice beside him.

Kurt knew who Sebastian was.

“Oh, Kurt,”—Blaine laughed—“this is—”

“Sebastian Smythe,” he offered a hand. “And you?

“Blaine's husband,” Kurt said flatly, looking passed Blaine and directly at Sebastian.

“Kurt,” Sebastian said with a pinched smile, taking Kurt's offered hand and shaking it, his grip too firm. Kurt narrowed his eyes.

“Blaine, Will Schuester was just asking about you. I think you should go hear what he has to say,” Kurt addressed Blaine, seemingly composed, but Blaine could see the irritation behind his eyes.

“Of course.” Blaine swallowed, looking between the two.

As he turned away, Blaine tried not to hate himself too much. He had liked seeing Kurt feel irritated. Intimidated. Challenged. Jealous. It showed him Kurt still did feel that Blaine was dear to him. It showed him Kurt still did feel.