Kurt arrived at Rachel and Puck's door, tears still running down his pale cheeks and a handkerchief to his nose. He had a hard time finding a cab, but one finally pulled over and he gave the driver a large tip to get him there quickly. Puck opened the door and with one look, pulled Kurt into his arms. He didn't say anything, just held the Sub until his sobbing slowed down.

Puck guided his friend to the sofa where Rachel was sitting and sat Kurt down between them.

"Okay, Kurt, What's going on? Did Blaine hurt you? Where are Holly and Levi?" Puck asked, not even giving Kurt the time to answer one question before posing the next. He was hitting his left palm with his right fist, very agitated. He hadn't liked Blaine when he met him. His opinion had changed when they spent time together in Lima, but now...it was a good thing that Blaine was not in the room.

"Noah, please. Can you go and make us some iced tea? I think Kurt needs to calm down before we start interrogating him. Thank you, honey," Rachel cooed at her husband who got up and leaned over to kiss her before going to the kitchen to make the tea.

"No, Blaine would never strike me. It isn't that. I could handle that, Rach...no, its that he's so disappointed in me. He was asking about what I wanted to do - did I want to go to college or get a manager and sing. I told him how hard it had been for me when Tana died, how I couldn't cope with the kids very well because making decisions was not a part of who I was and being forced by circumstance to make those decisions....well, I told you about the Sub Weakness," Kurt confessed, his fists clenched tightly by his sides as he struggled not to let a single tear fall. He felt like he cried all the time.

"So, what happened? Did he tell you he was disappointed in you?" she asked.

"Not in so many words, no. But we have...well, I don't know how to describe it. I have feelings, almost like telepathy? No. It's as if I can feel what his emotions are. I didn't feel it to begin with, but when we joined in the Union, it came. Not all at once, but a little at a time and now if we're close I can feel what he feels. Blaine has told me he has the same thing. I wondered if that's how he knew that there was something wrong with me," Kurt said, his head hanging. Rachel moved a little closer to her friend and took his hand in hers.

"Kurt, I've known you most of your life and there is nothing wrong with you. I promise," she looked into his blue eyes with her soft brown ones, trying to tell him how sincere she was in her statement.

Puck came back with a tray of iced tea. He handed out the glasses, a fresh sprig of mint in each one and a wedge of lemon. Kurt smiled at his friend, he loved iced tea.

"What is it that he finds...ah..lacking in you, Kurt?" Puck asked.

"I don't know exactly. He listened to me when I was answering his questions about the problems I had making decisions and as I told him, I could feel his disappointment in my gut. It made me sick. If his reaction was that strong, it must be...I don't know. Hopeless?" Kurt looked away. He didn't want his friends to see the shame in his eyes.

"I agree with Rachel. If he can't see all the good in you and overlook your weakness, then to hell with him. Your heart, Kurt, is pure. You don't need to make excuses to anyone. Ever. If you want to, bring Holly and Levi and come here with us. You always have a place with us, Kurt," Puck rubbed Kurt's back.

"I think maybe we should talk to Blaine first, don't you think, Noah?" Rachel suggested. Puck rolled his eyes, but he knew that was the best thing to do.

"You're right, my pet. Kurt, do you want to ask him to come here? Or I suppose we could go to his penthouse. We'll stay with you the whole time, there's no need to worry or be afraid," Puck offered.

"I just want to think about it. I know he's serious...he is with his lawyer this morning and last night...he slept in the guest bedroom as far from me as possible. It was humiliating." Kurt put his face in his hands.

~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~

Cooper's Office

"What have you done now, Little Brother? Just as I think I've gotten you all squared away, headed down the right path, you do something stupid. Tell me all about it," Cooper said, drumming his pencil on the desk. He sounded nonchalant, but under that facade, he was very worried. This was not going well.

Blaine explained the conversation in the bathtub, telling Coop all about how inadequate he felt as a Dom. He told him he would take all responsibility for everything, that it was all his fault that Kurt was sick and how he wasn't Dom enough to keep Kurt well and happy. He pushed Kurt in the wrong directions and was basically making his life miserable.

"Yes, well, it takes two to tango, my dear brother. Neither one of you is innocent here. Why don't you sit down and talk to him? Lay all your cards on the table. From everything I could see, Kurt is head over heels in love with you, so I'm pretty sure one little spat isn't going to break a Declared Vow Union. How about you call him?" Coop asked.

"He left his phone in Ohio. Finn is mailing it, but in the mean time, I can't call him. I left him a message. I wrote a note explaining and left it on his bedside table so he'd see it as soon as he got up. I asked him to meet me at La Parisian at 12:30," Blaine told his brother.

"That is the first sign of intelligence I've seen all day," Coop said. "Now, what is it that you are lacking that makes him want to kick you to the curb?"

"I was asking him what he wanted to do. I know he loves singing and he's very intelligent. I thought he might like to go to school or we could look into getting him a manager if he wants to sing. Then, the whole mood of the room changed. I could feel that he was disappointed in me...he told me how hard it is for a Sub to do certain things. I didn't know that...I never learned how to be a Dom properly, I think. And now? If I don't understand how it all works, how can I stay and ruin him? He's already been through too much, and it was my fault. I love him too much to keep damaging him," Blaine said, so sad Cooper was concerned.

"Well, Squirt, I probably can't help. I have never been in a marriage or a union. I have girlfriends, but I have no desire to have a commitment to anything but my job. You know, sometimes you cannot see the forest for the trees, Blaine," Coop said. Blaine looked up. Cooper never called him by his name unless it was something serious. Cooper's face suddenly lit up. "Who is your best friend?"

"Wes Montgomery, you know that," Blaine said, and the spark of light lit up in his eyes. "Oh, my Fates...why didn't I think of that? I'll call him. If he can't help me, he can tell me who can!"

Blaine felt better than he had since the whole incident began. Maybe there would be a way to fix this whole terrible clusterfuck. He glanced at his watch. He had just enough time to get in the limo and pick up some candy and flowers and meet his love at La Parisian.

"Thanks, Cooper, you're a lifesaver!" Blaine shouted as he ran out the door.

~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~

Kurt was sitting on the sofa at the Puckerman's apartment. He had a bowl of chicken soup with big, fat noodles on a folding tray in front of him and he was taking little sips of the broth from time to time. It was delicious. Rachel was a good cook, but he had no appetite.

"I just thought of something. What was the name of that doctor that treated you when you had the Sub Weakness? Ahhh...Wes? Why don't you call him? He's an expert on Subs you said, maybe he can help," Puck suggested. Kurt's ears pricked up at that. Maybe that was an answer – or at least the way to an answer.

"Thanks, Noah. I'll try his number, maybe he can see me today," Kurt said, feeling the first glimmer of hope he'd felt all day. He got up and walked into the hall to make the call on Rachel's phone.

"Do you think he's going to be okay?" Rachel whispered Noah, still very worried about their friend.

"I think so. This doctor was pretty good with him when he had to have the Synthetic Dom shots, and Kurt seemed to like him. If there's a chance, I think this guy can help. I was so proud of you, Rachel, helping Kurt like that. Have I told you that I love you today?" Puck asked her, putting his arms around her and bringing her next to him. He was kissing her when Kurt walked back in the room. Kurt cleared his throat twice before Puck stopped kissing his wife.

"He can see me if I leave right now. Rachel, can you call Mrs. Rose and tell her I'll be later that I intended? She said she would take the children all day, but I need to tell her where I am. Thanks!"

Kurt was out the door and on his way to Mt. Sinai Hospital as quickly as he could. Puck went back to kissing his wife and Rachel forgot to call Mrs. Rose to pass on Kurt's message she was so involved in her new husband. Puck took her hand and led her to the bedroom and she forgot all about Kurt for a while.

~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~

Blaine's smile reached from ear to ear. He knew how much his husband loved this restaurant, and he had a box of imported Dutch chocolates in a hand-painted tin along with a beautiful bouquet of roses. He asked for a table in the small secluded section in the back, one of the alcoves that had heavy drapes that could be pulled together for complete privacy. He sat at the table for a little while, sure Kurt would be here in just a few moments. The maiter' d knew Kurt and was on duty in the front, so there was no chance of him missing Kurt when he got here.

Unfortunately, he didn't come.

Blaine waited over an hour, but Kurt never showed up. It was a very dejected Blaine that hailed a cab to go home. He didn't even want to see Jeffers because he didn't want to explain his shame to anyone. His Sub had completely rejected him. He didn't even know of anyone that had ever had that happen. He was too crushed even to cry.

Numbed by his thoughts of losing Kurt, he called Wes, but his receptionist told him he was in a conference with a patient and wouldn't be available for another two hours, but she would pass along his message. Blaine sighed and climbed the stairs to his penthouse.

Alone in his room, Blaine lay on the bed he so recently shared with the man he had fallen in love with the first time he laid eyes on him. His eyes were dry from shedding so many tears so he just lay there, looking up at the ceiling and wondering for the hundredth time at what exact point it had all gone wrong. He wanted to be alone, but heard the door handle rattle. Startled by the noise and not ready to face Kurt's disappointed face, he pretended to be asleep, closing his eyes and turning his face to the wall.

He heard a small shuffling of feet and then the bed dipped. A small sigh and little fingers started to comb through his curls. It felt nice. A pair of very, very soft, moist lips kissed his forehead and then a hand patted his cheek.

"Are you sleeping, Papa?" Levi's voice came through the fog in Blaine's brain.

"No, pal, I'm not. Thank you for taking care of me, Levi. I love you," Blaine said, grateful for the company of someone who still thought he was worth something.

"Are you sick, Papa? Do you need shots?" he asked, sounding scared.

"No, I don't, honey. I'm not sick, just kind of sad today," Blaine reassured him. He rolled over in the bed so he could see Levi. "It was a bad day. Would you like a piece of chocolate?"

"Oh! Yes, please. I love chocolate," Levi said, waiting patiently as Blaine opened the hand-painted tin of Holland chocolates. It was hard to pry open and he had a firm grip on the edges of the tin when it gave way and the chocolates sprayed out all over the bed, A few went past the edge and fell on the floor. Levi jumped off the bed.

"I'll get them, Papa! I'll get them!" he called as he crawled under the bed and gathered the ones that had fallen. There was a piece of paper under the bed as well and he brought that out, too.

"Here they are, Papa. I found this piece of paper, can I color on it?" he asked. Levi dearly loved to color pictures for his Daddy and Papa. "I'll draw Holly and you can put it on the friger-mater in the kitchen, okay?"

"Let me see that paper, pal," Blaine asked, holding out his hand. Levi placed Blaine's note to Kurt in it, then set the chocolates on the bed.

"These aren't dirty, we can put them back in the box" Levi said. He saw no reason to throw away perfectly good food that had just been sitting on the floor. Blaine looked closely at the chocolates and allowed it. "How many can I have?"

"You may have two," Blaine told him, then gathered the boy in his arms and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "I love you, pal. You made me a very happy Papa today."

Levi grinned, eating one of the candies and saving the other for later.

"Can I go give a chocolate to Mrs. Rose?" he asked.

"Of course, you can. Here, take these in the paper sleeve. I bet she'll love it," he smiled, all at once hopeful. The note had obviously fallen behind the bed and Kurt hadn't seen it.

He went in and took a long shower, thinking about how he could pamper his Sub when he got home. Kurt hadn't stood him up, he had never gotten the note. Blaine was feeling so happy – until he wasn't. This might explain why Kurt hadn't joined him for lunch but it did nothing towards mending the rift between them. Just as he was lying down to take a nap and contemplate his options, his phone rang. It was Wes Montgomery.

"Blaine, why is it that I am forever pulling your fat out of the fire?"

"Wes? What are you talking about?" Blaine asked. "I need to talk to you about Kurt."

"I know. I just spent the last two hours with a very distraught Sub crying in my arms because his Dom is disappointed in him. Then I get done and check my voice mail, my text and my answering service, each one is filled with you crying about how your Sub is disappointed in you. Well, I will tell you the same thing I told Kurt. Sit down and TALK. Quit thinking you know what the other one is thinking. Yes, it is true that a couple in Union will begin to have shared feelings, but you have only begun to develop that and you have no idea how it works or how to read it. Blaine, please. I'm tired. I want to go home and make love to my wife without having to worry about the two of you for at least two days in a row. Do you hear me?" Wes was yelling now, completely frustrated by his best friend.

"Okay, Wes. I will talk to him as soon as he comes home. Thank you, you're the best," Blaine said. He was getting dizzy with all the ups and downs of his emotions.

It wasn't too much longer before he heard the front door unlock and Kurt enter. He heard his footsteps going down the hall to the nursery and quiet voices as he spoke to the children. From the baby monitor he could hear Kurt reading a book to Levi. Then he was rocking Holly, singing her to sleep with a soft lullaby. Blaine's love for Kurt was wrapping around him, sending warmth to his poor aching heart. He would fix this. There was no way he was letting Kurt go, he would fix this if it was the last thing he ever did. He closed his eyes and a quiet determination was born in his heart. He waited for his Sub to come to bed.

~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~

The room was dark when Kurt entered. He could feel a certain electricity in the air, but couldn't pinpoint exactly what it was. Maybe a kind of anticipation mixed with hope? It was so unfamiliar to him it made him skittish. He wondered if Blaine had come home at some point today, or if he was perhaps staying with Cooper? Oh, well, there was nothing he could do now but wait. He was not just tired, he was exhausted. The tears he shed for most of the day had swollen his eyes and he looked like someone at the end of a three-day drunk.

Entering the bathroom, Kurt looked at his face in the mirror. Bloodshot eyes with dark circles, the beginnings of an uncomplimentary stubble, and hopeless dull eyes. Maybe it was better if Blaine wasn't home to see him. Heaving a sigh, Kurt peeled off the layers of clothing he had put on in such haste this morning when he got up to tend to Holly and Levi.

He was lucky. He had his children- and he loved them more than anything in all the world. Well, and Blaine, but that was a whole different thing. It was having the children and being responsible for two lives that kept him going, that kept him alive. Wes had reminded him of that. Those two little beings were what had been keeping his head above water since he lost his Santana.

Thinking about Santana, he began to indulge in self-pity once more. It was true he had lost the other woman in his life – his mother - when he was so young that the pain of her death was a part of him and he was comfortable with it. Not that it was okay by any means, but he knew what to do with that pain. It had been a part of him for almost twenty years. He knew logically that the pain of losing Santana was going to be like that, something he would learn to get used to and could live with one day, but for now it was still a raw wound. Instead of crying again he tried to keep a thin layer of feeling over the hurt, a protection that would make it bearable for a while until he had control over his emotions once more. He took a deep breath. Glancing once more in the mirror before turning on the shower. He slipped the soiled clothing into the hamper, got out a towel for his hair and one for his body and stepped into the water.

It was like heaven for an instant, the heat of the water shocking his body so he didn't think of anything, a mind numbing few moments to revel in before reality came back. He didn't let his mind go back to the chaos of the day yet, Wes told him to be kind to himself, to stop demanding things of himself that he was too tired to give, to take some time to ease into this new life.

Kurt wasn't sure he knew how to do that, but he was game to try. Wes was right about another thing – he did not actually know what Blaine was feeling unless he asked him. Communication was what they needed. The love was there, strong and insistent in every heartbeat, but all the love in the world was useless if they didn't understand one another.

In the morning, he would find Blaine, even if he was hiding at Cooper's, and get this straightened out.

Kurt scrubbed off all the grime from his day. Sweat and tears and the stench of self-pity. He would wash it all down the drain and start over. Every day was an opportunity for a new beginning. It was such a stupid sounding cliché, but there was a truth in it that was undeniable.

Kurt washed his hair, digging his fingers deep into the thick strands. He scrubbed his scalp and rinsed over and over. Then he washed his face with the special soap he ordered from Sweden. It had a light, fruity scent and he briefly wondered if there were flowers that smelled like this. He washed his body, rubbing away layers of New York as he stood away from the shower to lather everywhere he could reach. It was a slick feeling, sliding his hands over his skin and closing his eyes to pretend it was Blaine touching him. He paid special attention to his chest, circling his nipples and the flicking a thumbnail over one, just the way Blaine had done last time they shared this tub. Last time...just before everything went wrong. Kurt stopped touching himself and just used the washcloth to clean and then rinsed quickly. The last thing he wanted to be thinking about now was the last time he was in the bathtub with Blaine.

He shut off the water slowly, which meant the hot water left first and it got very cold before he got out of the tub. He hoped the icy water would remind his body not to think of all the warmth Blaine provided each night. He might end up having to live without it for a while until he could talk Blaine into coming back.

Kurt hadn't brought any clothes in the bathroom with him. After brushing his teeth and spraying some of his cologne "Rain" on from habit, he thought about the silk pajamas in his drawer and reached for the handle of the closet to get his robe. It wasn't there and neither was Blaine's. They must have left them in the bedroom last night. Well, towel it was. He wrapped the towel around his hips, tucking it in and opened the bathroom door. He had locked the bedroom door from habit when he came in, so it didn't matter if he walked out naked.

He glanced at the mirror as he walked by it, hoping his face was less swollen and red. He was not a pretty picture when he'd been crying. As he glanced, he noticed the French doors to the balcony were open. Images of that day he crawled through those same doors, naked on his hands and knees, to give himself to Blaine came back. Maybe he would put on the pajamas and sit out there for a while. His eyes closed for a moment in pain as he remembered the hurt and confusion from the night before, the realization that Blaine had been so disgusted with him that he had slept in another bed.

"Oh, Blaine," Kurt said, "I wish you were here so I could explain it to you, so I could beg you to take me back, so you could make love to me. Damn it, Blaine, where are you?"