Sept. 11, 2013, 4:46 p.m.
Piglet and Pooh: Chapter 6 - Sixteen Years Old
E - Words: 11,776 - Last Updated: Sep 11, 2013 Story: Complete - Chapters: 18/18 - Created: May 27, 2013 - Updated: Apr 12, 2022 164 0 0 0 0
"Dad?" Kurt said, looking everywhere but his father's eyes. He just couldn't risk seeing the rejection if it was there.
"Did you need to talk to me, kiddo?" Burt asked, smiling at this son.
"Yes. There's something I've been wanting to tell you. I...I..." words failed him, just like he knew they would. He'd been practicing in his mirror and it never came out the way he wanted it to. He'd finally decided to just wing it.
"Hey, Kurt. Are you okay? You look kind of pale – even for you," Burt said, confused at his son's actions. Kurt was always so forthright in what he said. This must be something pretty serious if Kurt was so nervous....oh. Burt had a good idea what this was about now. "You know, Kurt, you can tell me anything. I'm your dad."
Kurt stood in front of his dad, twisting his hands in the tail of his shirt, and Burt cringed inside at how upset Kurt was going to be when he realized he was torturing that poor shirt. It was one that Kurt had gotten on-line and waited for weeks for it to come from some place in Europe or somewhere. He recalled Kurt running to get the mail every day until the box arrived. Yes, this must be a big deal.
"I'm gay."
"I know."
"Yes, I'm sure. I have known for a while and.....what? You know?" Kurt's eyes were the size of dinner plates and he left his mouth hanging open until Burt reached forward and cupped his chin to close it.
"Kurt, I've known since you were three and you asked for a pair of sensible heels for your birthday."
Kurt just stood there. This was the last thing he had expected. Was he that obvious? Well, he did dress...a little differently.
Burt held out his arms and Kurt stepped into the warm embrace.
~*~
That had been six months ago, but it sat on the boy's mind as if it happened yesterday. Now Kurt was sitting in his room and for once Blaine wasn't with him. For the first time in a long time he was relieved. Blaine was having lunch with Cooper and Kurt wasn't sure what time Blaine was going to be home. They were going to the movies later, but now Kurt was wresting the problem in his head. He had asked his father not to tell Blaine.
It wasn't that Kurt was ashamed of who he was – not at all. It was more that he was afraid that the relationship between himself and Blaine might suffer a blow that Kurt wasn't ready to deal with. Aside from his father, Blaine was the most important person in his life. What would Kurt do if it all went wrong?
Kurt was pretty sure Blaine wasn't a homophobe. He had never said anything to lead Kurt to think that. But...Kurt was still a bit unsure. He wanted to bring it up in conversation first, feel Blaine out and know where he stood before he just blurted it all out. Of course, his dad was all for him telling Blaine right away. He had argued that Blaine loved him, they were like family and of course it wouldn't make one iota's difference, but there was that lingering doubt. Kurt sat rubbing behind Princess' long silky ears and stroking down the fur on her neck. She licked his wrist and then laid her head back down. She was nervous when Blaine left the house without her.
"Hey, Kurt!" Blaine greeted his pal, walking down the stairs to their room. Kurt smiled at Blaine, but he was preoccupied with his dilemma and didn't say more. Blaine looked at him a bit worried because Kurt seemed, well, upset?
"What's going on, Kurt?"
"Nothing. Why? Did someone say something was wrong?" Kurt jumped, still nervous.
"No, nobody said anything. You just, I don't know, don't seem yourself?" Blaine answered, sitting down on the bed next to Kurt and reaching to pet Princess.
"Let's get dinner started. How was lunch with Cooper?" Kurt asked.
"It was okay."
Blaine didn't want to talk about it. He had been upset because Cooper had guessed that Blaine was gay, had probably known it for a long time. Coop was under the impression that Blaine was ashamed of who he was, but nothing could be farther from the truth. Blaine was fine with it. He was just worried about what Kurt would think. Cooper was a great brother, but he didn't live with Blaine and had no real idea what his life was like. It had been a tense lunch, ending in Blaine begging Cooper not to mention it to anyone, especially their parents. Coop had reluctantly agreed.
The two boys walked downstairs and started to make dinner. Blaine had been living here more than he was at the Anderson house for just about half his life. Ever since he was eight years old. He knew where everything was and was as adept at making a healthy meal as Kurt was, and he felt at home here. It made little sense to Blaine's parents why he would choose to live with the Hummels and do housework rather than live in their big house and have maid service. Blaine thought that the fact they asked such an asinine question answered it.
When Blaine came out to Burt when he was fourteen, he had been so unsure of himself. He was scared of anyone finding out, although he was glad he had Burt to talk to. His birthday was a few weeks later and to his unending surprise, Burt got him a dog. It was an Irish setter, and she was so beautiful. Princess liked Burt and Kurt well enough and went with Burt to the garage when the boys were in school. When the clock hit ten minutes to three she'd get up and leave, walking to the school and sat by the door until Blaine appeared.
His parents didn't want a dog, but they were never there to object, so the pup slept in Blaine's room, ate in his kitchen and lived with the Hummels when Blaine was there. He needed the dog. Burt had known that Blaine needed love that was constant, unconditional, and never wavered and Blaine got just that with this dog. As an inside joke, Burt told Blaine to treat the dog like a princess, and Blaine had named her that: Princess Sheelagh. He had asked the exchange student from Ireland for a girl's name and Rory told him the name meant "musical". Blaine loved the name. They usually just called the little setter "Princess".
"What are we going to do this summer?" Kurt asked Blaine. They had been working at Hummel Tire and Lube every summer since they were ten, each year more hours and more responsibilities. That made up a large part of the summer, but still they had a lot of free time. This year, both Kurt and Blaine got their driver's licenses on their birthdays.
When Blaine was fourteen his father bought an old junker '55 Chevy for them to rebuild together to strengthen their bond as father and son. How ironic was it that Burt was the one to help Blaine actually rebuild it? They repaired it at Burt's shop with his help and now had a serviceable car. The funniest thing about it was that Blaine's dad took credit for Blaine being interested in fixing it up. What he failed to recall was they the 'every weekend' that he promised turned into once a month, a few hours on a weekend here and there. They never got very far, just Mr. Anderson sending the body out to be refurbished and have the upholstery redone. Then it sat for months before Blaine asked Burt to help him and it was never mentioned between Blaine and his father again.
"Maybe we could go on a road trip?" Kurt suggested.
"Do you think your dad would let us do that?" Blaine asked, He was of the opinion that Burt was a bit on the over-protective side, not that he minded too much.
"We can ask," Kurt said.
So, that night at dinner, they asked.
"Where?" Burt wanted to know.
"We hadn't even thought that far ahead, Dad. We wanted to know if it was a possibility before we planned anything," Kurt said.
"Bring me a plan and we can talk about it. You may not leave the state, okay?" Burt said.
"Okay, Dad," Kurt grinned.
"And I want all the plans so we can go over them before you drive ten feet."
"Of course, Burt," Blaine said, his eyes dancing with eagerness.
Blaine was out walking Princess when Burt called Kurt into the kitchen.
"Yes, Dad?" Kurt came in the door.
"I have something for you and I need to talk to you about it," he said to Kurt and handed him a stack of pamphlets.
"Ahh...I don't need these, Dad! Why would you get these for me?" Kurt was shocked as he saw the titles on the pamphlets. They were about safe sex for gay men.
"Because you might need them and it's always best to be prepared. I want you to read them and then we are going to talk about them," he told his son. He went on to tell him about being safe and not just to prevent disease, but to protect his emotions, his self worth. By the end Kurt remembered why he loved his father so very much.
What Kurt didn't know was that Burt had done the same thing for Blaine two years ago. Blaine had the same reaction and Burt hoped he had done enough to make his boys safe. He had a feeling they might figure out just what they meant to each other on this road trip and they better have the information. He has slid some condoms and lubricant into Kurt's toiletries bag when he wasn't looking, just in case.
Kurt read them and then looked for a place to hide them. He did not want Blaine to find them and figure Kurt out before he was ready to deal with it. So he put them in his journal. He knew for a fact that Blaine would never read Kurt's journal. He was very respectful of personal property.
The boys worked on their plan for the summer of their lives. They found campgrounds and figured out costs and routes and things to do or places to visit along the way. It took about two weeks before they had the final plans and presented them to Burt one June night after dinner.
"You seem to have everything covered. Okay, you have my permission to go," Burt agreed. "With the stipulation that you will call me every single day, rain or shine. I am giving you a credit card to be used ONLY in emergency, and you need to be cautious at all times. Understood?"
"Yes, Dad."
"Yes, Burt."
"Okay. Now, let's talk about when you're going to leave and come back..."
~KBKBKBKBKBKBKBKBKBKB~
Kurt took one more load of things out to pack in the car. He and Blaine had been packing for two days and it seemed there were always more things they might need. Then Burt would trek out to the Chevy and unpack all the things they didn't need.
"Honestly, Kurt, are you really going to wear seven pairs of silk pajamas?" Burt would ask and then there would be a discussion. Blaine would eventually act as peace keeper and mention to Kurt how difficult it would be to wash the silk on the road and wouldn't a few cotton pairs work?
They got the old Chevy packed on the 30th of June, ready to start their trip on the first of July. Burt had gone over every bit of the car to make sure it was safe and his boys wouldn't run into any problems on the road. His boys. Burt smiled to himself, thinking about how long it had been since he began thinking of Blaine as his. Probably since he was around nine. Life would not be the same if they didn't have Blaine.
"Dad?" Kurt asked for the third time.
"Oh...yeah, I was just thinking. Sorry," Burt turned back to Kurt.
"I think we're ready to go, Dad," Kurt said. He grinned at his dad for a moment, thinking about how lucky he was to have him. He stepped forward, putting his arms around Burt and hugging him closely.
"Bye, Dad. We'll see you in three weeks. I'll call you tonight from the campground. Okay?"
"Yeah, don't forget."
Blaine walked over, staying back a little and looking at Burt through his lashes as he put his head down. Burt smiled and held his arms out to the boy. Blaine hesitated and then went an hugged Burt, too.
"Drive safely, kiddo. Take good care of each other. I'll talk to you tonight," Burt said.
"We will...Burt," Blaine was still getting used to calling him Burt instead of Mr. Hummel.
The boys walked to the car, Princess beside them. Blaine snapped his fingers as he opened the back door for her and she jumped into the seat and made herself comfortable.
Kurt got into the passenger seat and Blaine into the driver's seat. With a wave to Burt, they were off on their grand adventure. Burt wiped a tear from his eye. He was going to miss the three of them.
~KBKBKBKBKBKB~
"Well, what did the GPS say?" Kurt snapped as he slowed the car down and pulled over on a dirt road.
"It said to turn left at that last junction, I think...I'm sorry, maybe I dozed off and missed it?"
"Some co-pilot you are. I think we're lost and it's getting dark," Kurt sighed.
"No, I think we're okay. There's a sign up the road.....let's just go up a ways and see what it says?" Blaine suggested.
Kurt drove up the road and they stopped to get out.
"See, we're not lost. Just follow this road to where it forks here," Blaine said, his finger following along the map on the sign, "and we'll go to the left and a few miles down the road to the camping spot." Blaine took Kurt's hand and squeezed it. "Hey, this is going to be okay. Don't get so uptight. We took this trip to enjoy ourselves and get rid of all the stress and anxiety of life. Now, let's see that smile?"
"All right. I guess you're right. I didn't mean to get so grumpy. Let me stretch my legs a bit and I'll be right with you." Kurt walked away, headed towards some trees and brush across the road. He was back in a minute, looking refreshed.
"How about if I drive the rest of the way? You've been driving for a couple of hours," Blaine offered.
"Sure. Here, Princess, let's get back in the car," Kurt called as the little setter wandered to the edge of the trees to sniff.
Finding the campground, it didn't take the boys very much time to set up the tent and get the fire going in a ring of rocks. Neither one of them knew much about fishing, so they had brought food with them. Kurt made sandwiches while Blaine got the sleeping bags into the tent. They tied Princess up just in case she got the idea to wander. It wasn't safe for a dog to go exploring in the forest by herself.
"Thanks for making dinner, Kurt, it was delicious," Blaine said, smiling at his best friend.
"You are entirely welcome," Kurt smiled back. He was feeling much better now that he didn't feel lost on the road.
They sat and talked in front of the fire for a while until it got dark.
"I'm glad we called Dad before we got in the park, I can't get any reception here," Kurt was saying, checking his cell phone one more time.
"He sounded lonely. Do you think he'll miss us?" Blaine asked.
"Yeah, but I think he's glad we went. I haven't been in the woods since summer camp," Kurt said, trying not to giggle, but losing the battle. Blaine blushed bright red and tried to hold in his laughter but they both ended up laughing about the summer Blaine stowed away on the camp bus and spent part of the summer with Kurt at his camp.
"Wow, that was so much fun," Blaine said, scooting closer to Kurt and leaning on his shoulder.
"Until we got caught. I have never seen my dad so angry. He did get over it eventually," Kurt said. "Just the same, I'm glad Cooper came with him to keep him calm all the way to the camp. I think we'd have gotten in a lot more trouble if Dad had come alone."
"He still made us work in the tire shop for the whole rest of the summer to make up for it. But it was worth it, wasn't it?" Blaine asked and Kurt nodded, tucking himself closer into Blaine's side. The night air was chilly. "The night you came into the cabin and told me you had come to keep me company? That was the moment I knew we would be friends for life."
Blaine put his arm around Kurt and laid his head on Kurt's shoulder.
"I just could not imagine that summer without you, Kurt. I think if I'd have stayed home I would have thought about ending it," Blaine said in a soft voice, pulling back to see Kurt's face.
There was pure astonishment there.
"Blaine? You thought about suicide? You were ten years old, for heaven's sake!" Kurt said, still looking incredulously at his friend.
"I did. You know more than anyone what my life was like at home. I may get along with Cooper now, but back then I didn't think he loved me. I was just in his way. He was always so resentful that he had to take care of me. I can hardly remember a day when that wasn't true. It only got better when your dad let me stay with you. I guess I never really told you...how hard it was to know you were going to leave me for the summer," Blaine looked down. He didn't want Kurt to see the sadness in his eyes.
"Hey, Blaine. I know it was hard. You know, don't you, that I didn't want to go? Dad thought I needed to get away because I was having so much trouble in school. He wanted me to forget about all the crap that had happened that year. I told him I wanted to stay home, but with Grandma gone, there wasn't anyone to watch out for me. He was just trying to do his best for me," Kurt said. He remembered the fight he had with his dad over the camp, and he had finally given in and gone. It would have been terrible if he hadn't had Blaine there to comfort him.
"I sat in my bed that last night and I knew you didn't want to go. So, I went down to the parking lot where you were going to meet your bus and hid in the bushes. When they were loading the luggage, I just ran over and got in. Let me tell you, it was hot in that compartment. I made it to the camp and you know the rest. I hid in the woods and then came to your cabin. You have to admit we had a great time, right?" Blaine was smiling again.
"We did. I remember at night we snuggled together after everyone was asleep. You know you ruined me for sleeping by myself. I hate it when your folks come home and you have to stay there. I can't sleep without you," Kurt blushed. What was he saying? He hoped he hadn't said too much because Blaine had a funny look on his face. Well, maybe he could fix this by changing the subject.
"Is Princess going to sleep in the tent with us?" Kurt asked.
"Ah...yeah, sure. I think she'll be safer there. Plus she can bark if any wildlife comes too close. That's okay, isn't it?"
"Sure. She sleeps on our bed at home, why not here?" Kurt said.
"I guess we better get to bed. I pumped up the air mattress and it's ready to go. I put both sleeping bags on it so we can use one for a blanket. I'll get Princess a drink of water and meet you in the tent."
"I'll bank the fire and get our pajamas out of the car. There isn't any wind, so I think if I do that we'll be fine for the night." Kurt got up to do just that and they met back at the tent.
A while later they were tucked under the sleeping bags, Princess laying at the foot of the mattress across the threshold of the zipped tent.
"Blaine?" Kurt asked to see if he was asleep.
"Yeah?"
"You don't...ah...you don't still have any thoughts like you did that summer, do you?" Kurt asked. They were lying back to back, touching but turned away from each other.
"Not very often. I did when all that stuff happened with Jenn and the court and everything," Blaine confessed.
"Were you serious? Did you plan it?" Kurt asked. He didn't want to know, but he had to ask. He couldn't imagine how hard life had been for Blaine then. He tried to comfort him in the best ways he could, but what if he wasn't enough?
"I was serious. I was going to hang myself. You want to know what stopped me?"
"What?"
"I was afraid you would be the one to find my body. I couldn't do that to you, Kurt. So I just held on and got through it. If it wasn't for you and your dad....." Blaine didn't finish the sentence.
"Then I'm glad we were there because I don't want to live without you. Promise me you'll tell me if you ever feel like that again, please?" Kurt asked, feeling very afraid and alone.
"I don't feel like that any more. I promise that if I do, I'll tell you, Kurt. You know, since your dad got me Princess I feel better about a lot of things. I think he got her to help me," Blaine said.
"Yeah, I do, too. He got her from a lady that trains therapy dogs. Did he tell you that?" Kurt asked, hoping that wasn't a secret.
"Yeah, he told me....later. It made me feel like he loved me. It meant a lot to me, Kurt. I feel like you and your dad are my family. I hope you don't think I take up too much of your dad's time. Do you?" Blaine asked. It seemed like a night for truth and confessions.
"No. I know how my dad feels about me. I'm happy he feels the same way about you. I remember towards the end of my mother's life she would ask me to come sit by her bed. She would say that what she wanted to tell me was probably hard for me to understand, but she didn't have a lot of time to wait. I tried to understand her words, but some of them I just couldn't.
"I remember what she said, but I was much older before they made sense. She wrote them into a book for me and I keep it to read when I feel lost or sad. One of the things she told me was that your heart is filled with love and you can give all that love to one person, like your child. When another child comes along, you don't have to divide the love in your heart, you just add more and somehow it still fits no matter how many people you love it just keeps getting bigger. So, if Dad loved me with all his heart and then you came along he just added that much more love. How could I be jealous of that? I love you, too, Blaine," Kurt said.
Blaine was silent and Kurt began to be afraid he'd gone too far. He was scared to turn around and see if Blaine had figured out Kurt's secret. He would have to be more careful of what he said, to guard his words or he would let the cat out of the bag and Blaine would know he was gay. Lying there, he had tuned his ears in to Blaine's breathing and it seemed uneven. Throwing caution to the wind, Kurt turned over. It was dark in the tent with no streetlights or even a full moon to see by, but his watch glowed and he could just make out Blaine's face.
Blaine had turned towards Kurt at the same time and he had tears in his eyes.
"Hey, did I say something wrong, Blaine? I'm so sorry. Say something, please," Kurt said in a thready voice, trying and failing to mask his fear.
"I just...I....I love you, too, Kurt. You are my best friend and I hope you always will be. I can't imagine my life without you. I don't want to imagine that, it would be a nightmare. Promise me you will always be there and I'll promise the same," Blaine begged.
"Of course, how else would it be?" Kurt tried to smile. Blaine put his arm tentatively around Kurt's shoulder as he sat up. He wasn't sleepy any more. Kurt snuggled closer for a moment, but remembered to be careful, he didn't want Blaine to think he was trying to do anything more than share a hug.
"I wish my mother had given me a book like that. It would be so nice to be able to have a question and be able to read something my mom thought for the answer," Blaine said, just thinking aloud.
"You can read mine. I know that Mom would have loved you, Blaine. And you would have loved her. Do you want to see the book? It has lots of things like what she told me about loving, and a few poems and drawings. Some of it is sad because she wrote it when she knew she was dying, but there are a lot of happy thoughts, too. Things about her childhood or when she fell in love with Dad. I have never shown it to anyone, not even Dad," Kurt said.
"I don't want to intrude into your privacy, Kurt. It's nice of you to offer, but you don't have to. Maybe you could just tell me a few things sometimes?" Blaine asked.
"Oh, I don't mind sharing with you. I'd be proud to show it to you. I don't mind if you read it," Kurt said with sincerity in his voice.
"Thanks, Kurt. I'd feel honored to read it," Blaine smiled and kissed Kurt's cheek. Kurt blushed, but Blaine couldn't see it in the dark.
Kurt got up and found the flashlight, then got into his duffel bag.
"What...you have it here?" Blaine asked.
"Yes. I always take it with me. Well, not to school, but yeah, I do take it with me. It is...like a security blanket I guess. Are you sleepy?" Kurt asked.
"No. Not at all," Blaine said, sitting up straighter on the mattress.
Kurt found the leather-bound journal and handed it to Blaine. He lit the Coleman lantern and the tent was bathed in amber light. Blaine set the book on his lap and opened the cover. He looked through the first few pages.
"Oh, this is a treasure, Kurt. She had beautiful handwriting," he praised the book.
"It starts out like that, but towards the end she was taking so many pain meds, her handwriting gets shaky and sometimes what she wrote doesn't make sense. She would have trouble staying awake and she finally stopped writing. I do have some stuff in the back. Oh...." Kurt stopped. He remembered something he had put between the pages. "I have a letter you wrote me in there. The time you had strep throat and had to stay home alone. You wrote me a thank you note. I have a few birthday cards and the lyrics to the song you gave Dad and me for Christmas."
"Wow, you save everything!" Blaine giggled. He had saved everything, too. It was all in the footlocker under the bed. He kept it at Kurt's house because he knew it would be safe there.
"Let me see the letter I wrote? I don't remember it," he said and Kurt nodded.
Blaine opened the back of the book and some things fell out on his lap. There was the letter and under it were some cards and then some pamphlets.
Both boys gasped as the pamphlets fell out, their titles plain for everyone to see:
"Safe Sex for Gay Men", "When Boys Fall in Love with Boys", and "Basics of Anal Penetration".
"Kurt! Where did you get these? I thought my footlocker was private? What were you doing in it...and why did you take these?" Blaine shouted. Kurt cringed, not understanding what Blaine was saying. Princess was standing, trying to get to Blaine – whining and barking. She knew her job was to keep him calm and she was anxious to get to his side. Kurt was trying to grab the pamphlets, saying that it wasn't what it looked like and panicking about what would happen now.
Complete chaos reigned as both boys were shouting, the dog was barking and everyone was crying. Princess pushed her way between the boys and Blaine grabbed her around her neck, sobbing. Kurt was thrusting the pamphlets back between the pages of the journal and shoving that back into his duffel bag. Both boys were panting with trying to calm their breathing and stop their tears. Kurt chanced a glance at Blaine, but all he saw was the boy's face buried in his dog's fur. Princess was whining and trying to lick Blaine's face.
"Oh, Kurt....why were you in my footlocker? Why would you betray my trust like that?" Blaine moaned from his refuge behind his dog.
"What? I wasn't in your footlocker. Why would you think that?" Kurt asked. Nothing was making sense at all. He shook his head and then just stared at Blaine.
"Where else would you have gotten my pamphlets, damn it. Don't play the innocent with me. Why, Kurt?"
Kurt was starting to get upset.
"I did no such thing, and what do you mean 'your' pamphlets? Dad gave those to me a couple of months ago when I....." he stopped. What? He could never tell Blaine why Burt had given those to him, could he? He was at a loss to know what to think or do. Maybe Blaine had mistaken what the pamphlets said.
"Yes, my pamphlets. Burt gave those to me last year when I came out to him," Blaine said in a tiny, sad voice. He knew his secret was out now. There was no way to hide what he had said. But did it matter? If Kurt had found them, then he already knew. That meant – well, Blaine didn't know what that meant. He closed his eyes and buried his face in Princess' shoulder once again. He felt Kurt take his hand and speak.
"Blaine?" he said so quietly Blaine could hardly hear it. He was shaking with trepidation, terrified of what would happen now. Would Kurt just drive them home and never talk to him again? "Blaine. Look at me," Kurt said in a pleading voice. Blaine looked up and Kurt squeezed his hand.
"I think we need to talk about this. Are you able to do that now?" Kurt asked, fear evident in his trembling words.
"Yes," Blaine knew he had to face the music. "How long have you known about me?"
Kurt gasped. "You? What are you talking about?"
"Well, why else would your dad have given those to me, Kurt? Don't be obtuse," Blaine said, beginning to get irritated in his confusion. Why was Kurt making this so hard?
"Ah...wow. Blaine, those are my pamphlets. I would never go into your private trunk, ever. Don't you know me better than that?" Kurt huffed. Then he took a great gulp of air and soldiered on. "Dad got those for me last year. I came out to him, but he told me he had known I was gay since I was three years old. I didn't want to know about....those things. About sex. But he demanded that I read them and then he sat me down and we talked about it. I put them in my journal so you wouldn't find them."
It was Blaine's turn to sit dumbfounded. Kurt was gay? He closed his eyes for a moment. Things that had been confusing for such a long time were falling into place. Burt trying to convince him to tell Kurt, assuring him that Kurt wouldn't be upset with the news. He blinked. How long had Burt known about the two of them?
"Ah, Kurt? Burt gave me those same pamphlets over a year ago when I came out to him. It was just after the court case and I thought that what Jenn did to me...had made me...ah...not like girls. Romantically, I mean. He told me that couldn't happen, that we are all born a certain way and there is no shame to it. He said I was not sick or wrong, and he got me those so I would be more...comfortable with myself. I didn't know you.....that you...were gay. It never occurred to me. I have been so scared that you would find out and not want me in your life any more. Burt kept telling me that I should tell you..." Blaine rambled for a few minutes, then just stopped and looked across the tent at Kurt, standing over his duffel bag. He was frozen, but Blaine's words seemed to bring him back to life.
"Oh, my gods, Blaine...he kept telling me the same thing, but I was scared, too. Talk about not seeing the forest for the trees..." Kurt came back to the mattress and sat down on the sleeping bag. Princess turned around and gave him a big doggie kiss on his cheek before turning back to her master.
"Wow. All this time...and...just..." Blaine had run out of words. Both boys sat there, stunned as they went over it all in their minds, thoughts coming and going as they contemplated what this would all mean. After a long time, Kurt spoke.
"This is not going to be resolved tonight, Blaine. It is a shock to both of us, and I think we need to sleep on it. Do you want to try to go back to sleep?" Kurt asked.
"Yeah. You're right, we're going to have to have a lot of talks I think. Are you okay with everything for now, though? I don't want to do anything to make you uncomfortable," Blaine blushed, thinking about all the nights they had slept in each other's arms.
Kurt was almost as red, the same thoughts crossing his mind. However, he and Blaine had been sleeping together for eight years and tonight wasn't going to be much different. At least he hoped not. He got up and turned off the lantern, crawling back under the sleeping bag and holding it open for Blaine.
"Blaine?"
"Hey, isn't this how we got into this trouble to begin with?" Blaine said in a lighthearted way. Kurt giggled. Yes, it was going to be okay between them.
"I was wondering if I could...just hold you? Not is any sexual way, but I just want you to be close to me all night – like we usually do?" Kurt wondered, a little afraid things might have changed between them.
"I'd like that. I feel all mixed up and just...well, this was sort of a shock for both of us. Yes, we can still cuddle like we always have, if that's all right with you," Blaine offered, hope in his heart. He didn't want things to become awkward with his best friend.
They came together, arms tight as they hugged, careful now not to let their lower bodies brush up against one another. Both Blaine and Kurt sighed at the same time, bringing a giggle.
"We're going to be fine, I know it," Kurt said and kissed Blaine's cheek as they often did.
Blaine hummed his agreement.
Later that night as the slim crescent of the moon crossed the sky, Blaine was snug against Kurt's back. His arms were around Kurt's chest, hands in Kurt's as their fingers tangled together. Blaine was awake again, just trying to make sense and order out of the chaos in his brain. Kurt was gay. Did that mean he could ask him out? Maybe on a date? They already went everywhere together, would it be different now? And what would happen when they told Burt? Obviously Burt knew about both of them, had known for a long time. Would he forbid them to sleep together any more? There were too many questions. He felt Kurt shift in the sleeping bag and pulled back a little as Kurt rolled over to face him.
"Hey, what's going on? I can hear you thinking all the way over here," Kurt said, stroking Blaine's arm.
"Just thinking about how this is going to affect everything at home," Blaine said.
"Yeah, it might change things a little, but I don't think we have anything to worry about. Why?" Kurt asked.
"I'm scared your dad won't let us sleep in the same bed any more when we tell him," Blaine said. Kurt's mouth opened for a brief moment, but no sound came out.
"Ah, well, I guess we'll have to cross that bridge when we come to it. It's not like we're in a relationship like that yet...oh, I hadn't thought...are we going to..." Kurt stammered.
"I didn't want to assume..." Blaine said, but stopped to look at Kurt's reaction. They just laid there, listening to their breathing getting rougher, their hearts pounding in their chests.
Kurt, his arms already around Blaine and tugging him closer. He closed his eyes for a moment, then brushed his lips tenderly across Blaine's. Just a touch, a flicker and it was over.
Blaine blinked, then looked into Kurt's eyes. He was remembering the kiss under the mistletoe and all the nights he had gone to sleep with the echoes of that in his mind. He leaned back again, this time he put his lips on Kurt's and felt the tingling of desire go through him. He pressed just a touch more, loving the feel of finally having Kurt as close as he had dreamed for years. Years. It seemed like forever. He pulled back once again to gage Kurt's response and saw the yearning on his friend's face, too.
"Kurt? Is this...is this okay?" he hated that his voice trembled even though he was glad he could get the words out.
"Oh, yes...I've wanted to do this for so long, Blaine. So very long."
They met in the middle this time, the kiss was longer and more sure, the tentative shyness was gone from them both as they pressed their lips together harder, moving in gentle motions until a moan escaped from the back of Blaine's throat followed by a whine from Kurt. They kissed for a long time, they were so wrapped up in each other. Kurt was kissing the corner of Blaine's mouth, just tiny kitten kisses and then back to a full kiss when Blaine opened his mouth a bit and let his eager tongue lick along Kurt's bottom lip and take it gently between his teeth for a fraction of a second. The sound that burst from Kurt's throat was loud, and he was a little embarrassed as the moan echoed in the tent a little.
"Was that too much?" Blaine worried, but Kurt's hand moved to the back of his head, tangled in his silky curls and pulled him back to continue kissing.
Kurt shifted his weight, pulling Blaine over on top of him to rest on his chest as they kissed. Blaine moved from Kurt's mouth down his jaw and under to kiss along his neck. Kurt shivered and his skin was covered with goose bumps as Blaine slowly kissed along his neck, settling at the pulse point to feel how alive Kurt was now; he could feel his heart pounding in his blood vessels.
Blaine could feel himself getting hard and wondered if Kurt was having the same reaction. He brushed his thigh close just to confirm it and got his answer. Kurt whined in his throat again as he felt the contact and pressed himself closer to Blaine. He licked the warm spot under his jaw and Blaine's hips bucked a tiny bit before he was able to control them.
"We better slow down, Kurt. I don't want to get too deep tonight before we have talked about this, right?" Blaine said and Kurt could tell what it took for him to admit that. He also knew Blaine was right, so he slid out from under and put a bit of space between them.
They still held hands, but otherwise didn't touch. Lying on the air mattress, they just looked at each other's eyes. Kurt smiled and Blaine smiled back. There just didn't seem to be any words.
An hour later and Kurt was sound asleep, safe in Blaine's arms with his face buried in Blaine's neck. Blaine was curled around Kurt, holding him close as they both slept through the rest of the night. They didn't wake up until the sun was far over the horizon and Princess' urgent scratch at the tent flap brought them back to reality.
"Oh, no...I was having the nicest dream, girl," Blaine said, addressing the setter. He sat up, careful to disentangle himself from Kurt, and rubbed his eyes. He glanced at his watch and saw it was after nine.
Kurt yawned and stretched, his cotton pajama shirt riding up his torso.
"Wow, it seems like we got to sleep just minutes ago, doesn't it?"
"I would have slept longer, but Princess needs to go out. Here, let me climb over you and I'll unzip the tent," Blaine said as he set his weight on Kurt in his hurry to open the tent flap. Princess ran out after Blaine snapped her tie-out leash to her collar. He climbed back over Kurt but only got half-way when Kurt's arms stopped him.
Relaxing into the embrace, Blaine put his head on Kurt's chest.
"Good morning, merry sunshine," Kurt said, kissing Blaine's temple.
"Good morning to you, too. Did you sleep well?" Blaine asked.
"Wonderfully. You?"
"Princess woke me from a wonderful dream," he replied, looking comically sad.
Kurt giggled. "Awww. What was it about?"
"This," Blaine said, pushing himself up enough to be able to see Kurt's eyes and kiss his cheek.
"Oh. Funny, I was having the same dream," Kurt smirked and pulled Blaine back down to lie on his chest. They just stayed like that for the longest time until morning urges sent them to the edge of the woods to relieve themselves. Walking back into camp, they put together a little breakfast, cooking bacon and eggs over the stirred-up fire. They brushed their teeth and got dressed, each glancing at the other boy and blushing as they pulled off their pajamas.
"I'm sorry, Blaine, I can't pretend I'm not looking," Kurt confessed.
"It's okay, I was, too. It's not like we haven't been getting dressed in front of each other since we were eight," Blaine said.
Once more outside, Kurt sat down on a log to tie his shoes.
"What do you want to do today? We had planned to drive to Cedar Falls and see the waterfall I think," Blaine started.
"Yeah, that sounds good. We can get the camp cleaned up and pack the tent. Or we could stay here for a while...I mean, the tent is already pitched and it's pretty here?" Kurt countered.
"That sounds like a great idea. One of us will have to drive back a ways to call Burt this evening, I'm still not getting phone reception here," Blaine said. Kurt pulled his out of his pocket and looked at it.
"Oh, mine's working! Should we call him now? He's at the shop," Kurt said.
"Should we call him just to check in– or should we tell him our secrets are out?" Blaine asked, looking a little apprehensive. He felt that this news was so new he wanted time to explore it before they involved another person, even if it was Burt.
"Ah, I don't want to lie to dad, and I'm sure he'll be pleased considering what I found in my toiletries kit this morning, but maybe we can keep it to ourselves for a while? Just until we get used to the idea?" Kurt threw out, not entirely sure how Blaine would feel about it all. He knew Blaine was close to his dad, and that was fine, but some things might need to be kept to themselves for the time being.
"I agree. We can save it until we get home, no need of making Burt uncomfortable. What did you find in your kit this morning?" Blaine asked with curiosity.
"You don't want to know."
Kurt rolled his eyes and Blaine walked over to plant himself on the log next to his friend. He gave Kurt his best puppy eyes.
"Okay, but I'm not saying it out loud. Here, look for yourself," Kurt blushed bright red.
Blaine took the kit and unzipped it. His eyes got big as he looked back at Kurt.
"What did he think we were going to be doing here?" Blaine posed the question to the air and blushed red as Kurt. There in the toiletries kit, beside the toothpaste and deodorant and things was a package of condoms and a small tube of lubricant. They avoided looking at each other for a few moments, but quickly let it go as Blaine zipped the kit up and set it aside.
Princess came trotting up, dragging her leash behind her. She seemed confused at the length of leather that was following her everywhere.
"Sorry, girl, but you need to stay on the leash in camp. I can't have you walking around the woods flushing porcupines or skunks out of hiding. Come. Sit. Good girl," Blaine told his dog. She sat still, looking at the boys and waving her long tail.
"Do you want to go for a walk? I think our camp is safe here, I haven't even seen a car go by," Kurt offered. He really wanted to kiss Blaine again, but was afraid to say so until Blaine made a comment about last night.
"Yeah, a walk sounds good. We can go over by the river and try to skip some rocks...or better yet throw a stick for Princess."
They got up, made sure everything was secure in the camp, and started out along a path made by many people over the years. They couldn't get lost on a path, especially since it didn't really branch out anywhere.
Walking under the trees was lovely. Just a few steps into the trees and Blaine reached out for Kurt's hand and they grinned at each other. They often held hands, most of the time actually. This morning it just felt different and they were very hesitant, Kurt searching Blaine's eyes first to be sure it was okay. Blaine giggled when Kurt tentatively slipped his fingers into Blaine's hand and laced them together. Blaine squeezed back lightly to convey he liked it and they walked to the river, Princess ranging along beside them.
The scenery was beautiful, the air crisp and clean, and the sounds of the river made it seem like they were all alone in the world. Sitting on a boulder, Kurt leaned closer to Blaine and nuzzled his neck before kissing him on that tender skin. Blaine took in a deep breath, his arms going to Kurt's shoulders as if they had a will of their own.
"MMMmmm, that feels good," he said under his breath, but Kurt heard it and began to nibble along the tendon in Blaine's neck causing Blaine to wrap his arms tighter. Kurt hummed his approval but didn't stop until Blaine whined.
"Everything okay?" Kurt's breath rushed over the tender skin and Blaine tilted Kurt's head a little and placed his lips on Kurt's. Apparently it was okay then.
Blaine pulled Kurt closer until Kurt finally got up and sat back down in Blaine's lap, straddling him and placing his arms around Blaine's neck to steady himself. He took up kissing Blaine where he'd left off. Princess lay down on the path, head on her paws to wait this out. She finally shifted and lay down on her side to take a nap.
Everything started soft and gentle, but the heat produced made the two of them more desperate as they continued to make out, sliding down the boulder to sit on the grass. After a while, Blaine pressed Kurt down onto his back and lay on top of him. Kissing went on until Blaine noticed how aroused Kurt was becoming and knew he was in the same state. Reluctantly, he pulled back a bit.
"Did I do something wrong?" Kurt asked.
"No, it was....you did everything right, too right, and I was...you were..." Blaine stammered and couldn't get to the point. Kurt smiled and pushed his hips up to see what Blaine would do as he felt Blaine's erection through the layers of jeans. He got an immediate reaction as Blaine came down to kiss him fiercely – first grinding into Kurt's waiting crotch and then plunging his tongue into Kurt's open mouth. Kurt's head was twirling and his body reacting to Blaine in a way he had only dreamed about before. His hands griped around Blaine's waist and he pulled him closer, as if he believed they could get any closer. The kissing and grinding was getting way too heated and neither boy wanted it to stop. It was like a stick of dynamite and they had lit the fuse, getting more frantic as the seconds ticked by.
It might have ended quite differently if Princess hadn't started barking. Blaine mumbled a word that might have been 'cockblock' before pulling back, sitting up and taking a huge breath. He was still straddling Kurt who was panting and refused to open his eyes for a moment, afraid this was a dream, too.
"What's wrong, Princess?" Blaine asked the dog, looking over to see her pacing back and forth on the bank of the river. A few minutes later two kayakers went by, nodding their heads in greeting as they paddled down the rushing water of the river. Blaine waved back, but Kurt was still lying there with his eyes closed. Blaine looked down at his friend and took stock of him. He saw Kurt just about every day of his life but now he was looking again, seeing Kurt as if for the first time.
Kurt had always been beautiful, Blaine realized. His pale skin was just the right shade, not too pale, just right. It went perfectly with the rich chestnut of his hair and the bright blue of his eyes. Kurt's eyes. They were like sunlight on water, shades of blue, aqua, cornflower, and French blue with tiny sparkles of gold. Kurt had started shaving this year, finally catching up with Blaine who had begun to shave almost two years ago.
Blaine shifted his weight and put less pressure on Kurt as he continued to look. Kurt was still laying with his eyes closed, his hands above his head resting in the grass. He was thin, but not skinny, his arms and legs showing promise of strength and power to come. He always dressed in things that accentuated his long legs and Blaine remembered Mercedes saying she thought Kurt was flamboyant last year when he showed up to class with his usual tight jeans and button down silk shirt topped with a purple vest and knee-high boots. Blaine blinked. How could he not have guessed that Kurt was gay? He must have had a blindfold on to be so out of touch.
Kurt finally opened his eyes, glancing over at Princess and giving Blaine a questioning look.
"Kayakers, she didn't seem to like them so close to us," Blaine explained.
"Are they gone?" Kurt asked and Blaine nodded. "Then why are you all the way up there?"
Blaine decided to remedy that and leaned down to kiss Kurt's nose. Kurt giggled.
"If that's all I get, I might as well get up," he sighed. Blaine crawled over to the boulder and sat back down, leaning his back against it. He held out his hands and Kurt moved to sit between his legs and lean back, catching Blaine's hands and dragging them around his waist to clasp together over his belly.
"How's this?" Kurt asked. Blaine pulled him a little closer and put his lips on the nape of Kurt's neck, running his lips along to the soft place behind Kurt's ear and giving him a lick.
"I like it," Blaine said in a soft voice. He was still dizzy from the frenzy of ten minutes ago, but he knew they had to calm down or they'd be naked and doing some very unlikely things in the public access park.
Kurt wiggled, clearly happy with this turn of events as he relished the kisses to his neck. He pressed his hips back into Blaine's and got a rush as he felt Blaine's hardness against his spine. Blaine moaned a little, his breath coming faster and his lips moving across Kurt's neck. He found the spot where Kurt always got goosebumps and kissed it for a minute, then began to suck the tender flesh. Kurt gasped and then held Blaine's hands tighter around his waist.
"Blaine...." he whispered and Blaine redoubled his efforts. As Kurt continued to rub his back against Blaine's erection, Blaine's hands roamed downward, his fingers just outlining Kurt's cock through his jeans. Kurt was whimpering, his senses overloading and he knew they had to stop. With no one of authority here to tell them to stop, they knew they had to police themselves and Kurt scooted forward a little. Blaine realized they were taking it too far for now and pulled back.
"I think we better finish our walk," he said, his reluctance showing. Kurt turned in his arms and gave him a less frantic kiss before he struggled to his feet.
"We need to talk about this before it goes too far, Blaine. I'm enjoying it way too much and every time it's harder to stop," Kurt said, putting out a hand to help Blaine to his feet.
"I know. We need to be responsible. I just don't know what to say right now, how to put my feelings into words," Blaine returned.
"Let's walk for a while, it will get easier. I'm not sure what I'm comfortable with yet, and every time I touch you I want more."
"Me, too, Kurt. Can we...just hold hands?" Blaine asked, reaching for Kurt's hand as they walked further down the path.
"I'd like that," Kurt said.
"Have you ever thought about kissing anyone else?" Blaine asked and Kurt looked over at him before answering.
"No. I like to look at guys, there are some famous people that I fantasize about I guess, but mainly I used to think about kissing you, Blaine. I kind of dream about you. I never would have done anything like try to be with you or kiss you or anything because I thought you were straight and I didn't want anything to ruin our friendship. I know we've been open with telling each other how we feel, I tell you I love you all the time. It was about a year ago that I realized I not only loved you, but I was falling in love with you," Kurt disclosed. He was a bit bashful in telling Blaine all of this, but they had never been shy about saying anything to each other – well, except for the fact that they were gay.
Kurt was beginning to think he had overstepped. Blaine was still holding his hand, swinging his arm gently as they walked along. He dared to glance at Blaine's face to see if he was having a bad reaction to Kurt's revelation.
"I know. I have loved you since the day I walked into the acting class when I was eight and saw a sad boy that was so beautiful I thought he must be a prince. I couldn't believe you were sitting there, in the same place as I was, and you looked like you were going to cry. It was so important to me that you didn't cry, I'd have done anything. It must have been fate that brought us together. That day when Cooper forgot me and your dad stayed to make sure I was okay....well, it changed my whole life. Kurt, it was the first day I felt like I could hope, like I was worth something to somebody."
Kurt looked over at Blaine and stopped walking. He held out his arms and Blaine stepped into them, unable to say anything more. Kurt understood and just patted his back for a while before rubbing up and down, waiting for Blaine to get control of his emotions. He said little comforting things into Blaine's ear and kissed his temple.
"You are worth something, Blaine. You are worth everything to me. Everything," Kurt said in a tear-filled voice. "Hey now, it's okay. We're going to be fine, Blainers. This is all new to us, but we're going to be fine. I promise, we will."
Blaine hugged Kurt a little tighter.
"I know, I know. It's just so overwhelming. I have felt lost for so much of my life and my only anchor was you and Burt. You mean everything to me. I thought I might lose you if you found out I was gay, even though your dad kept assuring me you would accept it. I hated not telling you, it felt like a lie. Will you forgive me?" Blaine asked.
"There is nothing to forgive, Blaine. You forget I was doing the same thing. Why were we so blind? I guess fear does that. We can go on from here, are you okay with that?" Kurt suggested.
"Yes, as long as I have you in my life, I'm good," Blaine said, and kissed Kurt quickly.
Back at the campsite later that evening, Kurt and Blaine were throwing a stick for Princess. She was wagging her tail, loving all the attention.
"Here, girl, fetch!" Blaine called as he threw the stick. She bounded after it, grabbing it in her mouth and running back to give it to her master. They had been playing for quite a while and she was looking a bit worn out, so Blaine sat down and poured Princess some water in her bowl.
They had eaten dinner, talked all afternoon, and were ready for bed. Neither of them had gotten much sleep the night before.
"What say we head to bed?" Blaine asked, eager to hold Kurt in his arms again.
"Sure," Kurt said, catching Blaine's eye and smiling. They entered the tent and got their pajamas out of the duffel bag. Princess was lying down at the end of the mattress and dozing already when Blaine zipped the flap shut. Kurt lit the lantern
Even though they had changed clothes in front of each other thousands of times, both boys were shy now and turned their backs once again to get ready for bed. Kurt turned the lamp down so it was a soft glow in the tent and climbed into the sleeping bag, Blaine right behind him.
"Kurt?" Blaine said, unsure of how to ask the question on his mind.
"Yeah?"
"What are we? To each other, I mean. Before we were best friends. Does this change everything?" he asked.
"I think it does, but we can still be best friends. I hope we are best friends forever," Kurt said.
"You sound like a story book, you know," Blaine said, giggling. "I'm pretty sure that's a line from Winnie-the-Pooh."
Kurt started to laugh. "Yeah, remember when we were in that play? It was years before we got rid of those nicknames. Puck still calls me Pooh Bear sometimes. I don't really mind, though. Piglet."
Blaine laughed, too. He had loved performing that play with Kurt. He thought about it and all of his best memories were from times he had with Kurt. He wondered if Kurt thought so, too.
"Santana found out about that and told me she thought we were more like Tigger and Eeyore," Kurt said, trying to hide the smile. Blaine was like Tigger, always bouncing and sometimes jumping on the furniture. Blaine laughed even louder.
"Yeah, you do have your Eeyore moments..." Blaine said and Kurt pushed his shoulder.
"I do not!"
They pushed at each other for a few minutes, laughing until Blaine rolled over on top of Kurt and held him down. Kurt might outweigh Blaine, but he had amazingly strong arms. Kurt struggled for a few minutes then smiled at Blaine, relaxing completely. With the fight out of him, Blaine stopped struggling and just laid down next to Kurt. Kurt turned towards him and whispered, "Can we kiss again?"
"Always."
Even though they had been kissing all day long, they couldn't get enough of each other. Blaine stroked Kurt's face, looking into his eyes to make sure this was okay, that he didn't take it too far. Kurt's eyes danced, he was happy and lighthearted, and his discovery of how good Blaine made him feel was amazing. He really liked having Blaine rest on top of him while they kissed, and so when they had locked lips for a while, Kurt tugged Blaine on top of himself.
Blaine didn't object. He loved the feel of having Kurt's warm body underneath him. He was whispering things in Kurt's ear, sometimes just a moan, sometimes how good Kurt felt to him. It wasn't long before they were hot and rubbing against each other.
"Kurt, we have to make some rules. Having to stop just when I feel this good is getting harder." Blaine said when he'd taken a breath and pushed himself up away from touching Kurt.
"Harder, Blaine?" Kurt giggled.
"Hey, you know what I mean!" Blaine said.
Kurt reached out a finger and just barely outlined the edge of what he could see through the soft fabric of Blaine's pajamas. Blaine felt the light touch on his cock and groaned. He lowered himself down onto Kurt again.
His voice was much deeper when he spoke again. "Well, if you want to play that..."
"I....I don't know where to draw the line, Blaine. If it were a new boyfriend, well, then it would be easy. I could go slowly and think about every step before we did it. But I've known you more than half my life, I've loved you more than half my life. How do I draw a line?" Kurt asked.
"I don't know, either. I have dreamed about you, thought about what it would be like...and we have known each other for so long. What about if we do what seems right, but stop if we get uncomfortable? Or we could set a limit?"
"I don't think I'm ready for...everything yet. I need to talk about it first. Can you...lie next to me? I can't think with you on top of me," Kurt grinned.
Blaine shifted so he was not lying on top.
"There. I want to ask you something, and I want you to tell me the truth. I'm not saying this is something I'm ready for, but I want to know before things get that far," Kurt said very fast.
Blaine nodded his head in agreement.
"I think that if we stay together, as...boyfriends?" he looked at Blaine for confirmation and Blaine smiled and nodded at the term. If we stay along this path I might want to give you a...put my mouth on your..." Kurt could not bring himself to say it. Blaine put his hand very gently on Kurt's hand and brought it to his erection.
"Here?" he asked.
Kurt nodded and pulled his hand back. They needed to get this straightened out without distraction.
"I need to know if what happened to you in your basement, what Jenn did to you... is going to affect that. I don't want you to be uncomfortable. You know what I mean?" Kurt asked shyly.
"I understand. A few years ago it might have upset me, but now? No. At least I don't think so, not if it's you. So we'll just have to talk about it when the time comes. Are you okay with that?"
"Yeah. I am," Kurt replied.
Kurt leaned up and found Blaine's lips once again, licking his bottom lip for a moment before Blaine accepted the invitation and moved his tongue into Kurt's warm mouth. His tongue was soft and Kurt liked this...the warm flesh as he was touched in places he didn't think anyone ever touched before.
Blaine took a breath and asked if they were done talking for now and Kurt agreed. Then he slowly rolled back onto Kurt's body, their erections finding each other and rubbing together while they kissed.
The thin cotton of their pajamas was much better for this activity than their jeans and it didn't take long for the pair to get serious. Blaine rolled off of Kurt, who whimpered thinking he was stopping the activity once again. Blaine ran his fingers down Kurt's cheek and gave him a chaste kiss on the mouth, then moved down to kiss his neck once more. He started unbuttoning the pajama top, kissing the bits of skin it exposed and listening to Kurt as he whimpered again, as if coaxing Blaine to do more. Blaine's hand was at Kurt's knee and slowly moved up to his hip. Kurt was lying back, eyes closed and panting. He knew he would let Blaine do anything he wanted right now.
Just as Blaine got to his belly with the kisses, he touched Kurt's hardness and Kurt moaned. It was so much better than he thought it would be.
"Blaine, take off your pajamas, too. Please?" Kurt asked. Blaine removed his top by pulling it over his head while Kurt shook his off of his shoulders. They stopped briefly to hug, the feeling of skin on skin was just a catalyst for taking off the rest.
Both boys naked now, Kurt settled back down on the air mattress, tugging Blaine after him. They were side by side and Blaine watched Kurt's eyes while he used one finger to skim the shaft of his cock, pulling another moan from Kurt's throat.
"More, please, Blaine..." he whispered and Blaine set his fingers around the thick shaft. Kurt reached for Blaine and they were soon both stroking.
"Wait..." Kurt said, fumbling at the side of the air mattress for his kit, zipping it open and taking out the tube of lubricant. He took Blaine's hand and squeezed some onto his palm, then some into his own. They looked at each other, frozen in a moment and knowing this would change everything again. Blaine kissed Kurt on the cheek and lowered his hand.
"Are you ready for this?"
"Yes."
He put his palm on Kurt's cock, smoothing the gel from base to tip and then stopped as Kurt followed his example. They started with smooth, slow strokes. Blaine could not believe how this felt and wasn't shy about telling Kurt so. He moaned loudly as his cock got harder with every stroke. He soon forgot that he was touching Kurt when he got lost in the amazing feeling. Kurt was fine with that, it was hard to concentrate when he was so distracted.
Moving closer, he was practically in Blaine's lap as he quickened his movements. He thought about how he liked to do this to himself and moved a little to his left to get the right angle, then increased his strokes, alternating with a twist of his wrist to go over the tip on the end of the stroke. Blaine was now bucking his hips a little, his hands fisted in the sleeping bag. Kurt gave it a last minute's thought and grabbed his pajama shirt – he didn't want to sleep in a wet sleeping bag.
"Oh, Kurt...oh, it's so good, so good for me...oh, it's coming...it's coming...." and he moaned loudly as streaks of semen shot into the pajama shirt that Kurt was holding. He continued to pump gently all through Blaine's climax until Blaine held up his hand and laid it on Kurt's wrist, panting and sweating.
Kurt leaned over to kiss him and Blaine took him in his arms and covered his face with kisses.
"C'mere, Kurt...oh, that was...." he didn't finish his sentence, but Kurt understood. In a few minutes Blaine had his breath back and was up leaning on his elbow and forearm, pressing Kurt to the mattress. He tickled his belly and Kurt giggled a little, his eyes dark and wanting. Blaine stopped to get more lube and touched Kurt, making him jump.
"Oh...that's cold," he said, scooting his ass closer to Blaine so he didn't have to reach so far.
"It'll warm up, I promise," he whispered and began a slow stroke. Kurt was high on adrenaline from Blaine's climax so it didn't take long until he was rock hard and gripping Blaine's other wrist. Blaine was kissing his neck once again and Kurt had a handful of sleeping bag. His body was stiff as Kurt tried to wait. He didn't want to come right away, he wanted this to last as long as possible. Blaine saw that and slowed a little, taking back his other hand so he could cup Kurt's balls as he stroked. A groan that was almost like a wild animal came out of Kurt's throat, a desperate sound.
"It's okay, Kurt...you're okay..." Blaine soothed, knowing this was new to Kurt. It didn't feel the same as it was when you did it to yourself. Blaine ran his fingers up to the base and wrapped his hand around so he was stroking Kurt with two hands.
"Ah...Blaine...Blaine..." Kurt moaned, his eyes closed and his head flung back. Blaine continued his rhythmic strokes, back to one hand now as he got faster. It was only a minute or so later that Kurt called his name again and he held the pajama shirt ready and Kurt came in thick bursts into the soft fabric, shouting and moaning.
"Oh, my god, Blaine...why haven't we been doing that all along?" he asked, lying back in the sleeping bag and closing his eyes.
"I've been wondering that myself," Blaine said, taking Kurt into his arms and pulling the other sleeping bag over them. They just snuggled together under the cover, relishing the warm embrace and sated feeling of having just had sex for the first time. It just felt so right for both of them.
"I love you, Pooh-Bear," Blaine said, teasing Kurt with the nickname.
"I love you, too, Piglet."