Blaine groaned and opened his eyes. There was no way it was morning already: it was way too dark in the room and too way quiet outside except for an ongoing, penetrating sound coming from somewhere close. He turned over and reached out to Kurt but instead, his hand found a cold and empty spot in in the king-size bed that was definitely not Kurt.

 ‘Krt? Blaine slurred and propped himself up on his elbow. He looked at the alarm clock on the nightstand and focused in on the digits. 4:03 in the morning. Kurt should be in bed with him, snuggled up with him under the covers and being the big spoon. So why was he awake at this horrible hour? It was a Saturday and Kurt didnt have to go to work for another week so he didnt have to get up this early. ‘Kurt? he asked a little bit louder this time. Nothing except for the ongoing sound. It was only then he realized what the sound was.

Ella.

He hastily got out of bed and put on his sweatpants before stumbling to the door, chanting ‘Please, let Kurt and El be okay over and over in his head. He winced when he opened the door and Ellas crying got louder. He slowly walked in and let out the breath he didnt know he was holding. Kurt was sitting on the couch, holding Ella close to his chest and whispering endearments into her ear, trying to soothe her. ‘Come on love, we dont want to wake up papa dont we?

‘Too late, sweethearts, Blaine yawned and shuffled over to the couch to plop down next to his husband. Kurt shouldve woken him, so why didnt he? He looked tired and Blaine wondered how long he was already awake.

‘Im sorry, dear, Kurt answered, ‘I really didnt want her to wake you up, you barely had sleep last night.

‘Its fine, Blaine said, ‘I need to get used to our daughter waking us up every night now. He gently stroked Ellas cheek. ‘Oh thank God you guys are okay.

‘What did you think that happened? Kurt asked.

‘Oh, you know... The usual "what the frick happened to my husband and child?" stuff. Maybe you caught a burglar and he knocked you out or kidnapped you and El was here on her own or something, Blaine shrugged.

‘I think papa watches a little too much television, Kurt said to Ella before turning to Blaine, ‘You watch way to many action movies.

‘Do you know what Id do if I found out you were kidnapped or something? Blaine asked and continued when Kurt shook his head, ‘Id put on my Nightbird suit and come save you.

‘You still have that hideous thing? Kurt scrunched up his nose.

‘Uh, that hideous thing might be useful when we go Trick-or-Treating at Halloween. Nightbird and his sidekicks, Blaine smiled, ‘Its going to be so great.

‘Oh and how are you going to name those sidekicks? Kurt wondered.

‘Ella could be um, Wonderella? Like, a crossing between Wonder Woman and her own name or Cinderella and Wonder Woman, whatever. And you could be... Flameboy! Blaine said excited.

‘I like Wonderella but "Flameboy"? As in the stage name Phoebe suggests Joey in "Friends"? Are you crazy? Kurt laughed.

‘Why am I crazy? Youre hot, hence the flame and the last time I checked you were still, and luckily for me, a boy, Blaine replied.

Kurt shook his head but still smiled. ‘Youre the biggest dork Ill ever come across.

‘But this dork would save both of you if you are in trouble, Blaine smirked.

‘Oh, my hero, Kurt said dramatically, ‘Kiss me. He leaned closer to Blaine and cupped his neck with one hand since the other one was pretty occupied.

‘Of course my dear, Blaine answered and kissed Kurt.

‘And what are you crying about little one? Blaine asked Ella when he pulled away from Kurt, ‘Did the bad dreams get ya?

Kurt sighed. ‘Shes been crying for an hour now, its exhausting. I sang her a couple of songs, checked her diaper, checked if she has a fever, tried to get her to eat... Nothing.

Blaine wrapped an arm around his husbands waist. ‘Do you want me to take care of her so you can go back to sleep? he yawned.

Kurt snickered. ‘Youre about to fall asleep again yourself.

‘You got a point there, Blaine mumbled against Kurts shoulder.

Kurt shifted and laid down, making Blaine sit up straighter again. His feet were propped up on Blaines lap and his eyes fluttered shut when Blaine started massaging his feet. ‘Maybe this is a bit more comfortable for her, I read on one of those parenting blogs that when babies listen to their parents heartbeat they fall asleep faster.

‘Can I lay my head on your chest too? Blaine asked, smiling.

‘You can, as long as you leave space for El, Kurt said.

Blaine clapped his hands together. ‘Yay, he said while shuffling a bit and making himself comfortable with his head on Kurts chest right next to Ellas. ‘Your daddys a much better pillow than all the other ones, isnt he El?

Apparently Kurt was because Ella was already calmed down a bit and was now just wailing a little. ‘I think Im the perfect pillow, Kurt whispered, ‘Els almost asleep. He wrapped an arm around her and rubbed her back.

‘Shes not the only one, Blaine mumbled and snuggled into Kurts chest some more, ‘You know you can wake me up when you need me, right?

‘I know. Sweet dreams, sweetie, Kurt kissed the top of Blaines head.

‘Sweet dreams, Blaine murmured and Kurt nodded, even though Blaine couldnt see.

Kurt couldnt sleep, he was afraid that if he closed his eyes Ella would start crying again. So instead he looked down at Blaine and Ella, Blaine was holding Ellas hand and his thumb rubbed over her little fingers. Kurt thought it was the most adorable thing hed ever seen and smiled. He carded his fingers through Blaines curls and started humming Robbie Williams "Angels" because well, he was laying on the couch with his two angels and theres no other place hed rather be.

Kurt was afraid of losing El, if he had to be honest. He was afraid of becoming a bad dad like Blaines father was to him. He was afraid hed get angry at her for one silly little thing and that shed hate him for that, that he couldnt help Ella with her homework because hes too busy for her, that hed push her too far to do something she doesnt want to do...

He was afraid that hed hurt her in any way possible.

But what he was afraid of the most was... Blaine. Blaine probably was deadly afraid of becoming like his dad: uncaring, unforgiving, ruthless and most of all hated by his child. And Kurt was afraid that when it all would become too hard for Blaine, hed lose him. Forever, maybe. And then hed get into a spot where he couldnt get out of by himself: a single father whos working a nine-to-five job and has a house to take care of.

He needed Blaine, he loved Blaine and he wanted Blaine by his side on this rollercoaster ride called life. So he needed to make sure Blaine knew he was a wonderful parent and absolutely nowhere close to his dad and even if its going downhill for a while, Kurt would tell him he was doing great.

But they were both so young and the only thing they ever really had to take care of, died. Blaines goldfish and Pavarotti, of course.

Kurt was going to make sure nothing bad was going to happen to Ella, even if it was the last thing he would ever do.

*****

When Kurt opened his eyes that morning he noticed that both Blaine and Ella were gone. Then he heard the clatter coming from the kitchen and smiled when he heard Blaine mutter: Godda-chocolate, and then whisper, Chocolate is always better than a bad word so lets use that instead huh? Plus, daddy loves chocolate. Did you know that daddy loves chocolate, sweetie? Oh, youre so adorable. Im never ever letting you go, daddys gonna need to pry you out of my hands if he wants to hold you again. Yes he will, oh yes he will. Because you love me more, dont you?

Blaine? What are you doing? Are you turning Ella against me? Kurt asked, loud enough so that Blaine definitely could hear it.

God-chocolate, Kurt! You scared me, Blaine answered, Im making us breakfast. Were making breakfast to be exact. Ella and I are just bonding with each other, arent we sweetie?

‘God-chocolate huh? Kurt chuckled and added, ‘We learn new vocabulary words every day. Els gonna have a hard time at school with all the new words that you invent. Plus, El loves me more! He got up and walked into the kitchen where he saw Blaine standing by the counter with Ella strapped to his chest in one of those baby carrying bags. There were two plates in front of them and Ellas bottle was in the microwave.

Cute, Kurt grinned at the sight of Blaine. His curly sleep rustled hair, naked torso, the muscles in his arms flexing with every move-  

How long are you guys awake? he said, cutting off his own train of thoughts.

Half an hour, I guess, Blaine shrugged, Ella was wailing so I took her for a little walk to the kitchen and everyone knows those are the best and most calming walks for all ages.

You should know, you practically live in the kitchen, Kurt laughed and came closer to Blaine to wrap his arms around his waist and he hooked his chin over his shoulder.

Its the best place in the whole house apart from the bedroom of course, Blaine said.

Kurt waved at Ella in a purdy way and mouthed: Hi, hi baby before playfully hitting Blaines arm and saying: Blaine, you cant say that in front of our child!

Sorry, Blaine apologized, but its true.

Kurt snickered and reached over to grab a piece of chocolate off one of the plates. Oh, this is the perfect way to start the day, he mumbled with a mouth full.

See, daddy loves chocolates, Blaine grinned at Ella. Then they heard the pinging sound of the microwave and Blaine made moves to get the bottle out but Kurt was quicker and was already opening the microwave and grabbing the bottle.

Thanks honey, Blaine smiled as he took the bottle from Kurt when he came to stand next to him again, ‘Okay, I guess were done! We did it, El! Woohoo! Blaine grabbed Ellas little arms and made it look like she threw her hands in the air.

‘Im starting to think you need to become a kindergarten teacher or something, youre so good with children, Kurt chuckled.

‘You know, maybe I will, Blaine answered, ‘and then I can teach El some stuff. That would be awesome! He smiled at Ella who looked at Blaines chest uninterested. He glanced at the clock and his eyes lit up and he gasped. ‘Cartoon time!

Kurt watched as Blaine took a plate and Ellas bottle off the counter and walked to the couch where he plopped down and grabbed the remote. He carefully unstrapped Ella but still held her close to him. ‘Look, thats Jerry and the cat over there is Tom. Now, they arent friends because Tom is a bad cat who wants to hurt Jerry but Jerrys a good guy who likes to tease Tom and together they go through all sorts of adventures. Just like we are going to, just, less dangerous, Blaine explained and put a grape in his mouth.

 Kurt sat down next to his husband. ‘Lots of adventures, he said and smiled at Ella.

‘Well go on holidays with the three of us and well take you to school so you can make friends and well promise that well not judge your first boyfriend, Blaine said.

‘Or girlfriend, Kurt added, ‘You never know what could happen.

‘True, Blaine smiled at Ella, ‘Our girl could become a ladies and a boys magnet!

Kurt laughed. ‘Oh Blaine, look at her. Shes going to be so beautiful when she grows up.

‘If shes going to look anything like her daddy then shell be gorgeous, Blaine smiled at Kurt.

‘You cute curly-haired weirdo, Kurt replied, grinning from ear to ear and playing with Blaines curls.

‘I love you, Blaine said, grabbing Kurts hand and bringing it up to his mouth to kiss the back of it.

‘I love you too, Kurt answered, ‘Now, can I hold El? He looked pleadingly at Blaine.

‘Oh yeah, sure sweetie, Blaine answered and carefully gave Ella to Kurt, who instantly got a smile on his face.

‘Hi, sweetiepie! Kurt said in a high-pitched voice, ‘Daddy missed his little sweetheart. Were going to have so much fun together, arent we? Well go and play in the park and well draw silly faces on papa while hes asleep-‘

‘Hey! Blaine playfully smacked Kurts arm, ‘I dont want to wake up looking like Hitler or something.

‘Easy tiger, I wasnt finished yet, Kurt chuckled and then continued talking to Ella, ‘And then well bake him cookies on Sundays to show papa how much we love him.

‘Aww, isnt that what you and your mom used to do? Blaine asked and put his head on Kurts shoulder.

‘Yeah, I dont want to let that tradition slip away from me. Itll be the only connection El has with my mom. God, I wish she was here to meet her, Kurt cradled Ella in his arms and smiled when he felt Blaine kiss his cheek.  

‘Im sure shes looking down at us right now, sweetie, Blaine said.

Kurt worried his lip and stared at Ella.

‘What are you thinking about? Blaine asked and thumbed Kurts cheek.

‘We havent decided on El having a middle name yet, right? Kurt asked, tearing his gaze away from Ella to look at Blaine.

‘No, no I guess not, Blaine answered, ‘Why?

‘Can we, Kurt took a deep steadying breath, ‘Would you mind if we call her Ella Elizabeth Anderson-Hummel?

‘Of course not, Blaine said, ‘I think it sounds beautiful.

‘I know its going to be a bit weird because Elizabeth is also my middle name but I really want El to remember her grandmother, even though she never got to meet her, Kurt said, smiling sadly.

‘No, its not weird. I know how much your mother meant to you and if you want to remember her that way then well do that. It sounds beautiful, trust me, Blaine replied.

‘Thank you, Kurt whispered and he felt tears prickling in his eyes.

‘Hey, its okay, Blaine cooed and wiped a stray tear away that Kurt couldnt keep from rolling down his face, ‘Dont cry.

‘I just never thought youd say yes to this, Kurt said.

‘Of course I wouldve said yes. Id do anything to make you happy and you know that, Blaine said.

‘I love you so much, Kurt smiled at Blaine.

‘I love you too, Blaine  replied, ‘more than anything.

*****

Later, after Kurt and Blaine put Ella to bed for her ‘afternoon nap Kurt sat down on their bed and patted on the duvet next to him. ‘Sit, he demanded.

‘Wow, youre being bossy. I like that, Blaine said and sat down next to Kurt. ‘Is there something wrong, honey?

‘Actually, no. Im sorry, Kurt worried his lip again and lowered his gaze to the carpeted floor.

Blaine squinted his eyes. ‘Kurt, somethings going on. I can see it in your eyes and you barely have any skin left on your lip. Does it have something to do with what we discussed before? I didnt hurt you, right? Why are you being sorry? Please Kurt, say some-

‘Are you scared? Kurt interrupted Blaines rambling and looked up from where he was staring at the ground. He saw his husbands confused look with a tad of sadness in it and wished he hadnt said anything at all.

‘Scared? Blaine asked, ‘Of what? He furrowed his eyebrows and laid his hand on Kurts knee. ‘What should I be scared of?

‘Of becoming like your dad? Kurt replied, barely louder than a whisper and swallowed.

Blaine raised his eyebrows. ‘Oh, he breathed out.

‘Now, I dont want you to think that I think youre going to turn out like him. Youre the complete opposite of him, Blaine. You love Ella, I know that, I can see that with my very own eyes. And I know that youd never ever hurt her like your father hurt you, he reached up to brush some curls out of Blaines face, right above the tiny scar Blaines dad made a couple of years ago, ‘But I need you to know that too. Because I cant lose you.

  Blaines father was a monster. He had hurt Blaine, hit him even. Kurt would never forget the day that Blaine unexpectedly showed up on their doorstep with a split lip, bleeding nose, a swollen black eye and a cut right above it. He was crying and he kept saying that he didnt want to go back there, that he wanted to stay with Kurt and that he didnt want to get hurt anymore.

He kept saying that he wasnt safe anymore.

Kurt would also never forget how Blaine had clung to him and cried himself to sleep that night. Blaine was broken and Kurt promised him that he would fix him. So he asked his father and Carole if Blaine could come and live with them, since Finn was gone. Carole agreed instantly, saying that Blaine should be save and she immediately made Blaine some tea and brought cookies up to Kurts room where Blaine was hugging Kurts pillow tightly to his chest. Burt, on the other hand, didnt agree at first but when he saw how much Blaine clung to his son and how hurt he was, he told Kurt and Blaine to get into the car to go and pick up Blaines stuff from his house.

‘You arent going to lose me, Kurt, Blaine answered, ‘Youre right, Im afraid Ill turn out like him and that Ill hurt either you or El and thats the last thing I want to do because I love you both so much. You guys are the only family I have left, thats why I need you to keep me on the right path. But I promise you that youll never lose me.

‘And Ill be here whenever you need me and Im sure Ella will too when shes older. Youre going to be an amazing father, Blaine, Ella will love you, Kurt wrapped an arm around Blaines waist, pulled him closer and buried his face in Blaines neck.

‘Are you afraid? Blaine suddenly asked.

Kurt nodded. ‘Yeah, I am.

Blaine hugged Kurt and rubbed soothingly over his back. ‘What are you afraid of, sweetie?

‘Hurting her, Kurt murmured against Blaines skin, ‘What if I say something wrong to her one day that hurts her so bad that shell hate me for it? You know that in the heat of the moment I say terrible things and you know I dont mean those things but she doesnt know that yet.

‘Hey, you wont. Youre the sweetest, most loving person in the world! How could anyone hate you? Blaine replied, playing with the hair at the nape of Kurts neck.

‘Im just afraid Ill hurt her in some way, Kurt repeated with a sad undertone that Blaine hadnt heard in a very long time.

‘Come here, Blaine wrapped his arms tighter around Kurt and pulled him into his lap, ‘Well both make sure that the other doesnt hurt El, okay? Well be a happy family. Shes going to make beautiful drawings for you thatll make your heart melt, shell be happy to show off your new designs and shell hug you when she goes to sleep every single night. Believe me, thats definitely going to happen.

‘You really think shell make drawings for me? Kurt asked, smiling a bit.

‘Of course she will! And then you can hang them in your office at Vogue and you can brag about how sweet our daughter is, Blaine smiled.

Kurt giggled. ‘Id probably do that even if she wouldnt draw me anything.

‘Imagine it: your office full of drawings of our silly little family and maybe a portrait of your beloved husband thrown somewhere in between drawn by your daughter, Blaine said and frowned when Kurt started laughing quietly, ‘What?

‘"Portrait of your beloved husband"? Kurt asked between fits of laughter.

‘Hey, I could be a good model, Blaine protested and "posed" with his hand in his hair and a sensual look on his face. He seductively bit his lip and winked when Kurts jaw dropped open.

‘Ooooh, very sexy, Kurt admitted and smirked. ‘Would the model mind if I kissed him?

‘Not at all, Blaine smiled and leaned closer to Kurt to meet him halfway into the kiss. He felt Kurt smile against his lips and he closed his eyes for just a second, enough to take in the sounds Kurt was making and to take in the sweet smell of his vanilla scented shampoo.

‘All I want to do is get in bed and cuddle you, Kurt smiled when he pulled back a little.

‘Hey, thats a coincidence! I wanted to do the exact same thing with you! Blaine let himself fall back onto the bed and pulled Kurt down with him. Kurt shrieked and Blaine shushed him as quick as possible because of Ella. ‘Shhh, Kurtie, otherwise well wake El.

‘Oops, yeah, sorry, Kurt giggled when Blaine sucked on his collarbone. ‘You just have that effect on me.

‘You have a lot of effects on me, Blaine smiled, shuffled towards the pillows and tilted his head when Kurt stayed at the edge of the bed. ‘You coming?

‘Im coming! Kurt said and all but launched himself in Blaines open arms.

‘Youre crazy, Blaine snickered.

Kurt looked up at his husband. ‘Get used to it because El will be jumping up on our bed in a couple of years and shell be dragging us around the playground and the store and stuff.

‘I cant wait for those things to happen, Blaine said and squeezed Kurts arm.

After today, Kurt and Blaine were a little less convinced that they were going to be good parents. Blaine thought he was going to ruin it and Kurt thought that he was the one who was going to suck at this. But every day they grew to love Ella more and more and they figured that if they loved her like she was the most precious thing in the world, she would grow to have some love for them too.