“I should get my stuff if I’m going to stay here.”

“Is it at your house? Do you need to head over there?” Blaine’s voice betrayed his words, clearly the idea of Kurt leaving even for a few minutes was tearing Blaine apart.

“My bag is in my car,” Kurt said, smiling and pressing a kiss to Blaine’s temple.� “I had Mercedes drop me off at home this afternoon so I could pick up my car and some stuff for the next few days.” Blaine smiled so wide Kurt feared he might pull a muscle in his face. �Blaine reluctantly let Kurt leave just long enough to fetch his bag from the car and bring it inside.

Once Kurt’s bag was securely in Blaine’s bedroom, and Blaine had once more attached himself to Kurt’s side, they moved in to the kitchen where Mrs. Anderson was preparing dinner.

“So, Kurt, how’s New York? Blaine never tells us what you’re up to!” Kurt smiled, and chuckled at the quiet “mo-om!” of protest from beside him.

“New York is good. It’s, I dunno, it’s crazy. And Rachel makes sure that I’m always busy.”

“Kurt landed a national tour, mother.” Blaine offered proudly.

“Oh! Congratulations, honey! That’s great!”

“It’s just a 3-month tour, nothing too big, but a job’s a job, right?”

“Nothing too big? Kurt, you’re in a national tour. And Sound of Music is a huge musical!” Blaine’s voice was teeming with pride.

“Yeah but Rolf is such a minor character,” Kurt protested. He wasn’t normally so modest, not when it came to his talent, but his first few months in New York – and his rejection from NYADA – had given him a sharp smack in the face.

Kurt spent the rest of dinner telling Blaine’s parents all about the theatre where he worked and the tour, his cast-mates and director, Rachel and her crazy classes, all the idiosyncrasies of the city. He tried, as always, to make it sound as though life in New York were perfect, as though he didn’t spend his days desperately missing Blaine, wishing more than anything that they didn’t have to be apart. He also did his best to avoid the negative aspects of the city for fear that Blaine’s mother and father might change their minds about letting Blaine visit at some point this year – Kurt didn’t think he could survive the next eight or so months without at least one New York trip from Blaine.

Mr. and Mrs. Anderson, for their part, filled Kurt in on everything Blaine had been doing that he hadn’t quite gotten around to telling Kurt about – including the extra shifts working with Finn. Kurt, though slightly surprised that Blaine hadn’t offered up this information himself didn’t really mind; he knew that Blaine would have a life of his own back home. Blaine and his parents also filled Kurt in on the goings on around McKinley, how things were holding up around Lima, and Blaine even shared some stories that Kurt was positive Finn would hate him for knowing.

After dinner Blaine and Kurt, who had both had long days, though in very different ways, decided to get ready for bed and cuddling while watching old movies. Blaine’s parents trusted the boys enough to let Kurt stay in Blaine’s room; they knew that nothing “inappropriate” would happen. As Kurt did his nightly skincare routine Blaine picked the movie – Streetcar Named Desire –and put it in the DVD player.

“I’m glad you’re here. I’ve missed you so much,” Blaine said, coming up behind Kurt and meeting eyes in the mirror. He placed his arms around Kurt and rested his chin on Kurt’s shoulder. “Can you just stay here? Do you have to go back to New York?”

“It’s just a few more months,” Kurt assured him. “Just a few more months and then you’ll be with me and we’ll take New York by storm.” Blaine pulled back and let Kurt finish his routine in peace while he went and brushed his teeth.

Just a few more months – it was an affirmation that Kurt repeated to himself almost constantly. A few more months and he and Blaine would be reunited; Blaine would be at some university in New York – probably Columbia – Kurt would be acting, or bartending, or something. Blaine would move in with him and Rachel, of course, and they would explore the city. Together. Together, just like they were supposed to be. It was this thought that kept Kurt going on most days. When his shift was dragging, or he passed a painfully adorable couple in the park and felt that pang of loneliness, when he couldn’t sleep or when he just needed to be held, he reminded himself that Blaine would be there soon; just a few more months. He had no doubt in his mind that Blaine would end up at school in New York; it was just an absolute certainty. Blaine had to go to school in New York because Kurt didn’t think he could last another four years separated like this.

As they lay in Blaine’s bed, arms and legs intertwined to the point where it was impossible to tell where one body ended and the other began, Kurt felt safe. He’d missed this, this laying around together, not doing anything, just holding each other. Blaine’s head rested on Kurt’s chest, rising and falling as Kurt inhaled and exhaled. Blaine’s warm breath tickled Kurt’s neck. Blaine, exhausted from endless rehearsals, fell asleep almost instantly, but Kurt lay away for hours, just letting himself hold and be held, being happy. This trip was worth every cent if it meant even a few moments of this that Kurt could hold on to until the next time they could be together.

Kurt gently brushed some of Blaine’s hair off his forehead; it was starting to get kind of long and was curling frantically. Kurt didn’t know why Blaine insisted on gelling it so much, the curls were adorable. Kurt placed a kiss into Blaine’s hair and shut his eyes, smiling as Blaine shifted slightly, snuggling closer. Kurt, held tight in Blaine’s arms, slept better than he had in months. When he woke up – to a gentle kiss from Blaine rather than a blaring alarm clock – he was almost surprised at just how good he felt.

“Morning,” Kurt said drowsily, not yet opening his eyes. Blaine kissed him once more and then made to get up. “Noooo,” Kurt protested, eyes still shut, and pulled Blaine back down against him.

“I have to pee,” Blaine said, kissing Kurt yet again before he was allowed to unfold himself from Kurt and leave the bed. The bed felt cold and too-big without Blaine in it. Kurt finally opened his eyes when he felt the bed dip as Blaine returned to bed.

“What are we doing today?” Kurt asked as he brought Blaine back into his arms and pulled the blankets back around them. “Because, let’s be honest here, I’m totally down with just staying right here.” Blaine laughed, it was a deep laugh that rumbled in his chest.

“We have dinner at 4:30 and my dad will be watching football before that. Don’t you want to get up and watch the parade?”

“If I wanted to watch the parade I would’ve stayed in New York.”

“Good point. So we’re just going to stay here then.”

“Yup.”

“All day?”

“Yup.”

“Sounds good to me.”

When they finally got up a few hours later Blaine went to help his mother with dinner while Kurt called first Finn and then his parents to wish them a happy Thanksgiving and let them know that he was all right. After the calls were made and Blaine’s mother kicked him out of the kitchen Blaine and Kurt decided to sit with Mr. Anderson and watch some football. Blaine actually sort of cared about the game; Kurt just wanted to spend as much time with Blaine as possible.

Thanksgiving with the Andersons was perfect, idyllic even, and Kurt was happy to be there. It was everything he’d hoped it would be, even if it was happening in Lima, Ohio and not New York, New York. From time to time he would remember that he had to leave again the next night and his perma-smile would falter ever so slightly, though he was careful to keep Blaine from seeing the moments of distress, however small they were.

Friday morning dawned far too early for Kurt’s liking – Blaine had to go to rehearsal at 8 so both boys were up and getting ready at 6:15. Kurt hadn’t been up this early for months now (the perks of having a night job). But up he got and he dressed, sharply as ever, and packed his bag. They would be leaving for the airport directly after Blaine’s rehearsal.

“You don’t have to come, you know, I’m sure there are plenty of other people you’d love to see while you’re here.” Blaine offered as they exited his house and headed towards the driveway.

“You’re the reason I came back, Blaine, I’m going to spend my time with you.” Kurt could see Blaine’s smile despite the fact that he was trying to hide it.

“As long as you’re sure.”

“Of course. And besides, most of the people I would want to see will be at rehearsal anyway, right? I mean, Brittany, Tina, and Sam are in the show, and Miss Pillsbury is one of the directors again. I’m sure whatever former members of New Directions are around will show up at some point today anyway.” Blaine conceded Kurt’s point and they departed the residence, driving the all too familiar path to McKinley High School.

They were among the last to arrive and, as Kurt had expected, Santana, Mike, Mercedes, Puck, and Quinn were hanging out with the cast when they walked into the auditorium.� Almost before they were through the door Kurt found himself knocked backwards by the force of a small, blonde figure launching herself at him.

“Hello, Brittany,” he laughed, hugging her.

“Kurt!” she cried, hugging him tighter. After another moment or two he managed to free himself from her grasp and they all made their way to where the group had congregated.� Greetings were exchanged, as well as the occasional hug, and Kurt suddenly felt as though he were back where he belonged.

He’d never, ever, expected to feel that way whilst inside McKinley High – even after Karofsky transferred the school wasn’t exactly a second home – and the feeling caught him completely off-guard. But he couldn’t deny it; sitting here, chatting mindlessly with his friends, just laughing and joking , he felt something that he had been missing these months in New York. Blaine shifted beside him, taking Kurt’s hand in his own and interlacing their fingers, and the feeling grew stronger still. Ohio held something for Kurt that New York never could, and that was this; this weird amalgam of cheerleader and jock and diva and theatre geek and nerd that was the New Directions, this weird group that had been there for Kurt through the best and worst times of his life. They’d been there when he’d been forced to leave by death threats and inadequate administration, and they’d been there at his father’s wedding. No matter how bad things were he knew that they would always be there to support him, and when times were good they would be there to help him celebrate.

“You okay?” Blaine whispered, bringing his lips close to Kurt’s ear and barely breathing the words, making sure that no one else could hear this private conversation. Kurt nodded. Blaine gently kissed his cheek and then turned his attention back to the conversation at hand. �

When Miss Pillsbury arrived 20 minutes or so after Blaine and Kurt the group divided into current and former students; the current heading to get ready for rehearsal, the former staying put and continuing their conversation.

“I thought you weren’t coming back for Thanksgiving,” Puck piped up once the groups had split. “Isn’t that why Blaine was going to go to New York with Finn?” There was a reason Kurt never told Finn anything he didn’t want known – Finn told everyone everything.

“Yeah, but then these rehearsals got sprung on him, and I managed to get out of mine, so I decided to surprise him.” The girls “awww’d.” Puck rolled his eyes.

“Congratulations, by the way,” Quinn said. “So I guess New York is turning out really well for you. And Rachel.” Kurt couldn’t quite read her. He knew that Quinn still hated Rachel for being with Finn, and she hated feeling as though she’d never leave Lima, but she also seemed genuinely congratulatory.

“Uh, thanks, yeah, it’s all right.”

Quinn had been accepted to a school just outside of Lima where she was studying business. “Something practical,” she’d said, “so I might actually find a job at some point.”

Mike had been accepted to a dance school in New York but was taking a year off, both to save money for school (his father was still less than pleased about his life plans) and also so he could stay with Tina. Kurt was almost jealous, almost wished he’d waited a year to move out, but then he remembered that he’d left for a reason, that Lima was just not where he belonged.

Santana was at a liberal arts school, though she still hadn’t declared a major. She was still singing, thankfully, and she and Brittany were going strong. She, like Mike, had wanted to wait a year before heading off to school but, like Kurt, she needed to get out of this Podunk town where she just didn’t belong. So she left. She was a lot closer to Lima, however, and came back almost every weekend, or Brittany went out to see her. She seemed genuinely happy – it was a little weird to see.

Puck was still in Lima. He had his pool cleaning business, and he also helped out at Hummel tires from time to time. He was also still very active in his daughter’s life, something for which Shelby was incredibly grateful and Quinn (who hadn’t seen her daughter in months) was incredibly jealous. He had no intentions of getting out of Lima any time soon, but for once that didn’t really bother him. He had somehow cobbled together a life for himself, and it was a somewhat respectable one at that.

Mercedes had gone off to a prestigious, albeit tiny, school for vocal performance. It was located a few hours north of Chicago, so she was relatively close to home. It killed Kurt that she wasn’t with him and Rachel in New York, but she seemed happy. She had a boyfriend who loved and supported her, she was excelling in her program, and she was finally getting the attention that she’d so longed for in high school. With Rachel Berry out of her way Mercedes was finally making her mark on the world.

As the day went on and the rehearsal got underway Kurt found himself mesmerized by the show. It wasn’t anything particularly wonderful, but Blaine’s performance was stunning – as always. He sat, lost in thought, eyes locked on Blaine. He really was a magnificent actor. The subtleties with which he approached his craft were jaw-dropping, and the sincerity he brought to the role was incredible. Kurt couldn’t take his eyes off of him.

“You’re amazing,” Kurt said, coming up to Blaine once rehearsals had wrapped up. Blaine smiled and blushed slightly.

“Thanks.”

They stood there, neither wanting to voice the next question, nor the next step. Kurt had to leave. His flight was in 3 hours and it would take at least 1 to get to the airport. Blaine, still saying nothing, wrapped his arms around Kurt and pulled him close, embracing him.

“I wish you didn’t have to go.” Kurt could hear the tears forming in Blaine’s eyes and it broke his heart.

“I wish you could come with me,” Kurt replied, tears of his own forming. “But I’ll see you soon, I promise.” He pulled back, placed a hand on either side of Blaine’s face, and fixed his gaze on Blaine. “I swear to you,” he pressed his forehead against Blaine’s, “I swear that I will see you soon. Christmas is only a month away. One month. We can do that.” Tears began to fall from Blaine’s eyes and Kurt gently brushed them away with his thumb. He kissed him softly, whispering a declaration of love before pulling away entirely.

The ride to the airport was falsely happy as both boys sang along to the radio and made idle chatter. The moment of weakness and vulnerability was over and now both Blaine and Kurt had their brave faces on. As Blaine parked the car and helped Kurt with his bags he realized that this would never get any easier, this back and forth, this constantly leaving and being left.

He’d thought, stupidly, that nothing could be as bad as last time he’d seen Kurt off at the airport. He thought he would be better, that his heart wouldn’t break as he watched Kurt’s retreating back, that the tears wouldn’t fall as he felt the emptiness welling up. But as he stood here, walking Kurt to the security line, he knew now that it just got harder. Last time had been bad; for the first time since Kurt had grabbed his arm on that staircase in Dalton they would be spending a prolonged period apart. For the first time since they’d started dating they would be apart for more than a day or two. No longer would he be able to call Kurt in the middle of the night and have him come over, no longer would he be able to turn up on Kurt’s doorstep if something went wrong, or even if something went right. No longer would Kurt just be there, to celebrate, commiserate, or comfort.

Last time had been hell, but this was worse. This time Blaine knew what was coming. He knew about the feeling of emptiness that would take over, the all-encompassing feeling of loss that would take a day or two to pass. He knew the pang of hurt he would feel every time a new assignment was given in Glee and he could no longer turn to Kurt in joy or anger or disbelief. He knew what it was like to walk to halls of McKinley without Kurt walking beside him. He knew what it was to watch Mike and Tina, or Brittany and Santana, and wish beyond anything that he could be with Kurt. Not knowing was horrible, but knowing was worse.

When finally it came time to let Kurt go (“Blaine, I’m going to miss my flight.”) Blaine took a deep breath and steeled himself for the on-coming darkness. He pulled Kurt towards him and, one last time before he let him go to New York, he kissed him, lips pressed against Kurt’s, hand grabbing at his hair and shirt, trying to express everything he couldn’t say with words. Kurt kissed him back, just as eagerly, pressing his whole self against Blaine as if he could not get close enough.

“I love you, so much,” Blaine said once they’d parted.

“You, too,” Kurt said, kissing him once more, softer this time.

Kurt unfolded himself from Blaine and reluctantly headed towards the security check point.

And then, just like that, he was gone again. Blaine watched until long after Kurt’s silhouette had disappeared, but he couldn’t bring himself to leave just yet, couldn’t make himself get back in the car where Kurt had just been, couldn’t force himself to return to the home and the room and the bed where Kurt had been staying. He knew that his pillow would no doubt still smell faintly like Kurt and, though he knew it would be painful while it lasted, he also knew it would be gone far too soon. He stood there, staring down the hallway in the direction where Kurt had departed, and just watched.

When he finally managed to drag himself back to his car, the drive home seemed to take forever, leaving him far too much time alone to be plagued by his own thoughts. Kurt was right, of course, Christmas was only a month away, but who knew what would happen between now and then? For all he knew something would come up and Kurt would be stuck in the city for Christmas, unable to change his plans and return to Lima, while Blaine would be stuck here for some reasons. The little voice in his head, the one that constantly whispered doubts and lies, the one that he’d managed to silence for so long, began shouting that something would go wrong. Because something always did. And maybe next time they wouldn’t be able to fix it like this time, maybe next time something would go wrong and it would stay wrong. Not everything is fixable, the voice reminded him, something always goes wrong and not everything is fixable.

By the time Blaine pulled in to his driveway he’d convinced himself that it would be at least April before he saw Kurt again so, thoroughly depressed, he walked somberly to his room and threw himself on his bed, face first.

It still smelt of Kurt.