New York City. It was everything that Kurt had ever dreamt of. So NYADA didn’t exactly turn out the way he’d hoped, so he’d been forced to work two jobs all summer just so he could afford the trip and the first few months’ rent on his apartment. His tiny, itty bitty, super cramped apartment that he’d be sharing with Rachel. Rachel, who had gotten in to NYADA and spent the summer flittering around Hummel Tires and mooning over Finn. But despite the ever-so-slight disappointment about not being accepted into NYADA, New York was still the city of dreams.

He’d lived there for about a week and he still wasn’t used to being able to walk out his door and be suddenly immersed into everything that New York had to offer. Within a day or two Kurt had managed to find employment as a bar tended at a small little independent theatre in Manhattan. It was a place where he could work and still flex his creative muscle. The best part was that he worked mostly nights, meaning he could spend the day trying to find representation, or running from one audition to the next.

If Kurt wanted to make it in the city, really, truly make it, he was going to need to land a show. He wanted more than anything to be able to call Blaine and tell him how well the city was suiting him, how Blaine should be proud of the life Kurt was making for himself, but he couldn’t bring himself to feel proud about working as a bartender. Sure, it paid the bills, barely, but Kurt felt that if he stopped trying for even a second to make it as an actor he would be selling himself short, be giving up on himself, and that was something that he absolutely refused to do.

Speaking of Blaine, that was the only real problem Kurt was having with living in the city. New York was so far from Lima, Ohio, and Blaine was so busy with his senior year. It was odd, going from spending every day together to this –this world where both boys had their own lives and had to struggle to find time to talk. Blaine was in his senior year at McKinley now and he was busy as ever. Between Glee club, another musical (the lead again, of course), college applications, and school work it was nearly 7 pm before he was home most nights, and nearly midnight before he had any time to spare. Since Kurt worked nights that meant he was usually on duty at midnight. They exchanged texts as often as possible throughout the day, and emailed each other nearly every night, but it just wasn’t enough.

“I miss you,” Kurt texted Blaine one night. And he did. He really, really did. He missed hearing the melodic hum his voice took on when they were alone together. He missed the gentle warmth and tender pressure of Blaine’s hand on his own, the exchanged smiles as they sauntered through the halls, hand in hand, happy and together. He missed being able to hold Blaine, or be held by him, when something was upsetting him, or just when he was feeling lonely. Most of all he missed seeing his face. Kurt had carefully removed Blaine’s school picture from his locker and transferred it to the wall beside his desk where he could see it from every point in his room, but it just wasn’t the same. “I miss you, too,” Blaine replied nearly an hour later. He must have been in rehearsal. The worst part about Blaine not being with him was the fact that Kurt couldn’t even be alone to wallow in his self-pity because Rachel was always there. He wasn’t sure how she managed it but it seemed that every time Kurt got hit with a particularly bad wave of homesickness – no, Blainesickness – Rachel would barge through the door, ever her bubbly self, and demand he accompany her out on some New York adventure. He would mumble and protest, arguing fatigue or just plain disinterest, but Rachel wouldn’t stop until he’d agreed to venture into the city with her.

“Skype date?” Kurt typed, fingers fumbling over the keys in his haste.

“Tonight?” came the almost instant reply. That was rare.

“Yeah, no work tonight, what time?”

“I should be home by 5?”

“Perfect.”

This time when Rachel burst through the apartment door, exploding with energy, fresh from her latest class, and eager to explore her new habitat Kurt didn’t even blink before gladly agreeing and following her out the door.

---

“Perfect.”

Blaine grinned as he read the text before quickly slipping his phone back into his bag. Strictly speaking he wasn’t supposed to have his phone on during rehearsal, but he was backstage waiting to be needed again, and he knew that Kurt had probably sent him a message at some point since he’d last checked his phone that morning before school.

“Blaine!” Tina called from down the hall, “C’mon, you’re up.” She shot him a knowing look as she saw the tell-tale smile plastered to his face. “Stop sexting your boyfriend and get your ass back in the auditorium before they know you’ve disappeared.”

“Okay, okay, I’m coming,” Blaine replied, shaking his head as he chuckled softly. He and Tina had become close since most of the rest of the crew had graduated. She was a connection to Kurt and that was something that Blaine clung to.

Blaine missed Kurt desperately. When he had the time to, that was. Senior year was insane, and Blaine wasn’t making it any easier on himself. He hadn’t told Kurt yet, but on top of Glee club and the school musical, Blaine had also started helping out more at the tire shop (another way for Blaine to be as close to Kurt as possible) and had auditioned for a local production that started rehearsals just as the school show closed. He didn’t want to admit it but he knew that he was keeping himself busy so he didn’t have time to miss Kurt, or wonder what Kurt was doing, or try and figure out what he was going to do next year once graduation was over. There wasn’t a minute of Blaine’s life this year that wasn’t scheduled.

That night, after he’d run home from rehearsal, he dropped his backpack in the entry and raced to his room. He booted up his laptop as quickly as humanly possible and clicked open Skype. Rehearsal had run long and it was nearly 5:30, but Blaine hoped that Kurt would still be on. Before Blaine even had the chance to look, the tell-tale music started playing.

“Sorry sorry sorry,” he pled, not even bothering with a greeting.

Kurt laughed. “Rehearsal ran long?” Kurt got it – that was something that Blaine really adored about him at times like this. Blaine nodded and laughed.

“Yeah, we were delayed because one of the kids painting the set accidentally spilt the paint for the back wall and Miss Pillsbury ended up falling into it. It was crazy.” Blaine’s eyes sparkled in a way that they hadn’t lately as he faced his laptop screen with a look that was reserved for Kurt. “How’s New York?” he asked, smile faltering slightly as he reminded himself that Kurt was miles away instead of minutes.

“Amazing. Seriously.” Kurt, who had been doing his best not to show how much he missed Lima, returned to form instantly at the mention of his new home. “It’s insane here, there’s always something going on and there’s always something to see. Rachel has dragged me to about a dozen different events already and we haven’t even been here two weeks. And there’s this energy that buzzes through the city, I can’t describe it, you really have to feel it for yourself.” Blaine smiled and listened, trying his best not to think about how far away New York was, and how much he wished he was there. “And the theatre where I work is having a showcase next month, I might get to do that, which would be nice, ya know, to be performing again.”

“Auditions aren’t going so well?”

“It’s not that, I mean, I haven’t been to many yet, just the two, I just miss performing.”

“I’m sure there’s a Gap in the city,” Blaine teased.

“Yeah, because the last time I performed in a Gap went over so well,” Kurt shot back, rolling his eyes and smiling at the memory of the ill-fated “Gap attack.” “Oh!” Kurt exclaimed, remembering suddenly, “you haven’t seen the apartment!” It was true, Blaine was unable to venture to New York when Rachel and Kurt had gone apartment shopping, and was already in school by the time they moved in. He hadn’t seen the small apartment empty, and he certainly hadn’t seen it Kurt Hummel-ized.

“Show me,” Blaine said, thoroughly entertained by Kurt’s enthusiasm.

“Hold on, let me see where Rachel is,” he said, holding up a finger and silently pleading for Blaine to have the few minutes to wait.

“Sure. Hurry back.” Blaine let his smile fall as Kurt turned and Blaine saw him open and exit through his bedroom door. Kurt seemed so happy in New York, even without having landed any jobs yet. He seemed to fit in the city so well, and to love it so much, and Blaine worried that Kurt would never return to Lima. Blaine took a moment to plaster on a happy face again before Kurt came back into frame and gently picked up his laptop.

“Okay,” he started, “this is my room. It’s nothing much, nothing like my room back in Lima, but it’s mine, and it’s comfortable.” He slowly maneuvered the computer to show the whole room. “The closet is a little smaller than I’d like, but I’ll make it work.” Kurt could hear Blaine laugh as her opened a door into a closet that could be no more than two feet by three. He closed the door to the closet and moved towards the living-area-slash-kitchen, which, Blaine could tell, had been decorated by both inhabitants of the apartment. The sparse furniture pieces had a definite Kurt Hummel air about them, but the various accoutrements sprinkled throughout shouted “Rachel Berry was here.” When Kurt reached the small counter that served as a semi-divider between the sitting area and the cooking area he balanced the laptop on top and his face came back in to view. “So, that’s the apartment. It’s not much, and the rent is way too high, but it’s home,” Kurt smiled and shrugged and didn’t notice the sadness flicker across Blaine’s face at the word “home.”

“BLAINE!” Rachel shrieked, bounding into view behind Kurt. “Hi!”

“Hey Rach,” Blaine laughed and waved.

“I haven’t seen you in forever! Congratulations on Pippin! I’ll try to come back and see it!” Rachel gushed.

“Oh, uh, th-thanks, Rachel,” Blaine stumbled through his gratitude as he saw Kurt’s face twist with confusion. Finn must have told Rachel.

“Okay, I gotta run, kisses!” and just as quickly as she’d appeared she was gone.

Kurt waited until he’d returned the laptop to his room and shut the door to talk again. “What was that about?” He wasn’t angry, but there was a definite tone of hurt tingeing his confusion. Blaine felt horrible.

“It’s a community theatre show I auditioned for, I just heard back today and-” Blaine was rushing through an explanation.

“Congrats,” Kurt said. It was genuine, Kurt was happy for Blaine, and that just made Blaine ache more.

“I was going to tell you, but I didn’t want to mention the audition in case I didn’t get it,” he explained. Kurt nodded and changed the subject.

“How’s glee this year?”

“It’s a mess.” That was exactly what Kurt was hoping to hear, no matter how much he hated to admit it even to himself. “We’re still having a hard time getting our numbers high enough to even compete, and with so many of our best singers gone we aren’t nearly as strong as we were last year. Vocal Adrenaline and the Warblers are going to kill us at sectionals.” Blaine winced internally at the thought of the Warblers – the group he fronted not two years ago – defeating him so readily now.

A silence fell between the two and neither bothered to break it for a moment, both caught up in their own thoughts. Blaine, so consumed with thoughts of sectionals, and rehearsal, and school, hadn’t yet let it hit him how much he missed having Kurt around. Now that he’d taken a moment, now that he’d seen Kurt’s face again, and gotten a glimpse into his new life, he felt an ache eating at him from the midst of his very being. He started to fear that Kurt’s new life wouldn’t have a place for Blaine anymore.

“I need to go,” Blaine whispered, eyes brimming with some mixture of sadness, exhaustion, and fear. “I have homework and stuff,” he added, voice so quiet it was a wonder Kurt even heard.

“I love you,” Kurt said, placing a kiss on the first two fingers of his right hand before pressing them to the screen.

“I love you, too,” Blaine said, feigning a smile and clicking the “end call” button. He squeezed his eyes tight as the first tears began to fall. Did Kurt even miss him? It didn’t seem like it. He had work, and auditions, and the big city to entertain him. Blaine felt stupid for ever thinking that he could compete with the draw of New York. “Kurt loves me,” he told himself. He knew that Kurt loved him, but he didn’t know if it would be enough.