June 3, 2012, 8:41 a.m.
What Are The Odds: Chapter 12b - With All Your Faults
M - Words: 3,824 - Last Updated: Jun 03, 2012 Story: Complete - Chapters: 20/20 - Created: Feb 12, 2012 - Updated: Jun 03, 2012 1,374 0 3 0 1
Blaine pressed a last soft, wet kiss to his lips before drawing back slightly, meeting Kurt's eyes and the affection and joy Kurt saw on his face simply took his breath away.
“Blaine,” he breathed, leaning forward to nuzzle the side of Blaine's face, closing his eyes as he felt Blaine sigh against his neck. “Did you mean it?”
“Did I mean what?” Blaine asked, voice low and shaking a little with the significance of the moment.
“You love me too?” The thought was overwhelming. He just needed to hear it again, to be sure he wasn't just dreaming all of this.
“Yes.” Blaine pulled back, bringing up a hand to cup Kurt's face, gently, in a barely-there touch that was so perfect and intimate Kurt was sure he was going to start crying any second now from how incredible this all was. “I meant it. Of course I did. I... I love you. I...” his voice broke and he swallowed visibly, shaking his head slightly as if he was lost for words. “So much, Kurt. God.” He closed his eyes, a happy, slightly disbelieving smile appearing on his face. “Is this real? Please tell me this is real.”
Kurt felt his heart expand in his chest as the joy became so intense he couldn't keep it all inside and it poured out of him in a burst of loud, giddy laughter. “Yes.” His arms slid back around Blaine's shoulders and he pulled him in tight, hugging him fiercely. “Yes. Yes, yes, yes. This is real, Blaine, this is happening, I love you, I love you so, so much.”
Hearing a squeal and the sound of clapping from the direction of the door, they separated just far enough to turn their heads, looking for the source of it. Rachel was standing in the doorway, beaming and jumping up and down with joy, hands clasped tightly in front of her chest. “Yay!” she exclaimed. “I knew it. I knew it!”
“Hello, Rachel,” Blaine greeted her while Kurt rolled his eyes at her, mirroring her bright grin.
“Of course you knew all along,” he commented, unable to keep the warmth out of his voice. “Rachel Berry always knows, right?”
“That's what I've been telling you for years, you just didn't want to listen,” Rachel answered, and Blaine laughed at that, burying his face against Kurt's chest. Laughing with him, Kurt rested his head on top of Blaine's curls, feeling like the smile would never leave his face. He was fine with that.
“Aw.” Rachel tilted her head to the side, observing the two of them. “You two look so good together.”
“We are good together,” Blaine said, raising his head to give Kurt the most loving look.
Rachel bounded over to them, and, with a joyful shriek threw her arms around the two of them. “I'm so happy for you,” she said, and Kurt patted her head while Blaine gave her a one-armed hug back.
They simply stood like that for a few seconds, swaying a little, feeling content and peaceful and just... right. Rachel stepped back eventually, winking at them.
“I'm going to leave you alone now – I imagine you have a lot of... talking to do. If you know what I mean. But Blaine,” she pointed at him. “I ran into David on the way here and he said to remind you that they need you in the choir room in twenty minutes. That's probably – ” she checked her watch, “more like fifteen now.”
“Thanks,” Blaine said, his eyes already back on Kurt's face, staring like he might miss something if he blinked for even one second.
Rachel was about to turn and leave, but Kurt met her eyes, her genuine smile with only the slightest hint of smugness in it warming his heart. “Thank you,” he said, completely sincere. Rachel understood, nodding once and holding a hand to her heart before leaving them alone again.
As soon as the door had closed behind her, Blaine took Kurt's hand, leading him over to one of the couches on the other side of the room where they sat down, Blaine curling into Kurt's body immediately, resting his head against his chest.
“We have to bake a cake for Rachel, or buy her a puppy or something,” he said, voice muffled by Kurt's shirt.
Kurt kissed the top of his head. “I guess. But do you think that can wait until after your performance? For now, I just want to keep kissing you, if you don't mind.”
“I'm okay with that,” Blaine answered, sitting up and bringing their faces closer together. “I am absolutely and one hundred percent okay with that.”
**
Kurt and Rachel were sitting in the front row – Rachel had made sure of that by saving them seats two hours before the performance even started.
Blaine was still getting ready with the rest of the former Warblers – Kurt couldn't wait to see him on stage. It was among the few things he hadn't seen him do yet, perform like this. He'd seen Blaine perform, of course, in little cafes during open-mic nights, at a friend's party, just for fun in his dorm room or Kurt's living room, but never like this – on an actual stage with a real audience.
He felt so proud of him already, even knowing that this was more of a visit to the past than a step closer to what Blaine really and ultimately wanted from life. Still, Kurt couldn't wait to see him like this, see him singing and dancing up there, knowing that it was his boyfriend capturing the audience and making everyone love him – Blaine had a way of doing that. Not that he would have been less proud of him before, when Blaine had been his best friend and nothing more, but right now, the word boyfriend just made everything that much brighter, that much more exciting. That much better.
No matter how excited he was before the performance, however, nothing could have prepared him for the moment the curtain went up and there was Blaine, his Blaine, finally, standing right there among all the other blue-red blazers and looking so handsome and so confident and in the right place and so full of joy. Kurt reached over to take Rachel's hand, clutching it tightly in his own as his heart did a series of somersaults in his chest.
“Your boyfriend looks good up there,” Rachel whispered in his ear, just a trace of amusement in the way she said it, and Kurt could only nod through the thoughts of he's the best-looking guy on that stage, he's the best guy in the world, and he loves me too, he loves me, he loves me.
They started singing and even though Kurt had seen a few videos Blaine had shown him, it was nothing compared to seeing those guys – all of them decidedly not high school students anymore – in person. They were good. They were really, really good and when Kurt looked over at Rachel for a brief moment he knew she was thinking what he was thinking – if New Directions had faced the Warblers in competition, it would have been a lot more difficult to win than it had been against Aural Intensity or the Golden Goblets.
The impressive performance, however, quickly made him forget that thought, and he was too busy watching Blaine anyway to be thinking of much else. He had tried to take in everything, the whole group, at first, because it was truly amazing. These guys couldn't have been practicing together for more than a week, and with the vast difference in ages – some looked like they were well over fifty – most of them probably hadn't even known each other in the Warblers, but they were so perfectly in sync and sounded so great together. In the end though, Kurt only had eyes for Blaine. And he couldn't be blamed, he thought, because Blaine was positively shining on that stage. Thirty seconds of watching him up there would have convinced Kurt that this was what Blaine had been born to do, if he hadn't already known that before.
Kurt knew that Blaine had been the lead singer during his time with the Warblers, so naturally he had a solo tonight as well. Still, there were quite a few former lead soloists on stage and they were a few songs into the performance before Blaine finally stepped forward, standing alone in the spotlight while his fellow singers started with the background harmonies behind him.
Kurt sat up straighter, never letting go of Rachel's hand as Blaine turned his head to where he knew Kurt was sitting and locked eyes with him. He had been glancing over at Kurt again and again throughout their other songs, but this was different – he was looking directly at him now; what he was about to sing was meant only for one person.
And Kurt found that he couldn't look away if he wanted to – which he didn't anyway. His skin was tingling with warmth and longing and tenderness, the moment feeling strangely intimate even though they were surrounded by people and Blaine was more than a few feet away from him. It didn't matter, he might as well have been sitting in Kurt's lap for how close to him he felt right now.
Kurt knew “Somewhere Only We Know,” had heard it a few times without ever really listening, and he wondered why he'd never paid more attention to it, because it was clearly beautiful. Especially having it directed at him by his best friend in the world, the man he was so in love with it felt almost unreal.
Blinking the tears from his eyes he smiled up at Blaine, vaguely aware of Rachel putting her head on his shoulder as he breathed shakily, wanting nothing more than to climb up onto that stage and sink into Blaine's arms, kiss him senseless, find some way of telling him “I'm never letting you go again, you're stuck with me now.”
It would have to wait. The song ended much too quickly and Blaine stepped back into the group, not without a last lingering look at Kurt who mouthed the words “I love you” at him, amazed and slightly overwhelmed by the fact that he could do that now.
The rest of the show flew by, and even though Kurt thoroughly enjoyed every minute of it, he couldn't wait to get out of his seat once it was over.
Rachel laughed as he, usually so graceful, almost tripped over his own feet in his haste to get to the door, reaching out to steady him. “As cute as this is, don't kill yourself,” she advised. “No one's going to take him from you, you know?”
Kurt grinned at her, dragging her behind as he headed for the exit. After this week, after being so afraid of losing Blaine altogether, even falling flat on his face in front of an auditorium full of strangers wouldn't have seemed so terrible. Everything was wonderful tonight.
They had agreed to meet back in the entrance hall so Kurt rushed there, well aware of the fact that it might take Blaine a few minutes since he was probably going to have to say goodbye to his friends first. He was okay with waiting. He had made it through the last few days. A few more minutes hardly mattered.
Most of the people had cleared out, only several small groups standing around talking and laughing when he saw Blaine appear at the other side of the hall, still in his uniform, wearing the most radiant smile Kurt had ever seen on anyone. He only stopped for a second, looking at Kurt from a distance, before they both started moving quickly, crossing the hall in long strides toward each other until their bodies collided into a tight hug.
“You were so amazing,” Kurt mumbled into Blaine's collar. Blaine pressed his lips against Kurt's neck and Kurt could feel the grin on his face.
“Did you like the song?”
“I loved it,” Kurt sighed, pulling back so he could see Blaine. “No one ever sang to me before.”
“Get used to it,” Blaine said. “You know me. I'll probably be doing that a lot.”
**
Of course Blaine had to go home eventually and so did Kurt – he still had to drop Rachel off and it was still Christmas Eve and he was looking forward to spending some time with his family, now that he was done moping in his room. Still, saying goodbye to Blaine, even if they had agreed to talk on the phone later that night, was not something he really wanted to do right now. He'd much rather just take Blaine home, spend the night wrapped up in each other, and talk. About them. About the concert. About hopes and dreams and bad movies and the books they had read and New York and music. About all the things they had talked about on so many nights since they had met at that airport over a year ago, now with the added bonus of cuddling and kissing.
The only consolation was that they knew there would be so much time for that later on – and that they would meet up again the next day to exchange Christmas presents.
Kurt excused himself to go to the bathroom quickly before the long drive home, leaving Rachel and Blaine by the front doors after Blaine had told him the shortest way.
He was quick, not wanting to waste a second of his remaining time with Blaine tonight. By the time he got back Rachel and Blaine had gone outside and he could hear them talking on the other side of the front door. Kurt inched nearer, feeling only the slightest bit bad for eavesdropping but way too curious about what they were discussing.
Neither of them could see him so he stopped just close enough to catch the words, silencing his conscience, which was telling him he was being creepy.
“I just thought it would never happen.” he heard Blaine say. “It wasn't even like... I didn't know it myself at first but after Luke – it stuck with me what he said, you know? That I was spending more time with Kurt then I was with him and... I don't know. I think that's when I knew. I mean, when I really knew.”
“Why didn't you just tell him?” Rachel asked, incredulously. “Why does it always have to be so much drama with you boys?”
Blaine laughed. “Well. What was I supposed to do? He had just started dating Patrick. He seemed so... happy. How could I even allow myself to believe that he might be feeling the same way?”
Rachel sighed audibly. “You both owe me big time. Don't think I'm going to forget. Such an effort getting the two of you to stop acting childish.”
“Kurt and I already agreed we're going to buy you a cat,” Blaine said and Kurt on the other side of the door felt a sudden rush of excitement at the words. Kurt and I. The way Blaine had said it. The meaning behind it. It was such an insignificant detail and yet it made all the difference. There had always been a Blaine and Kurt from the day they had met, but suddenly it meant so much more and knowing that, understanding that – Kurt could safely say that this was the best thing that had happened to him all year, maybe ever.
What really brought the tears to his eyes again, though, was Blaine's confession that he'd had feelings for Kurt since the break up with Luke. That had been such a long time ago – months ago. And all this time... and he hadn't known... and they had wasted so much time, so much time...
Making a show of pushing the front door open the rest of the way and stepping outside with the biggest smile on his face like he hadn't just been listening to his friends talking about things that would keep him awake far too late tonight, he walked over to them, taking Blaine's hand in his own without a second's hesitation.
“Hey,” he said, giving him a quick peck on the lips. “I missed you.”
“In the five minutes you were in the restroom?” Blaine asked, his voice laced with fondness.
“Yes.”
“Good,” Blaine whispered against his mouth before kissing him sweetly. “Because I missed you too.”
“This will stop being cute really fast,” Rachel commented dryly, and Kurt couldn't help but laugh.
“Shut up. First of all, this is at least partly your fault. And second, I had to sit through months of you and Finn behaving worse than this. Several times, actually, because you insisted on going through the same stages every time you got back together.”
“So, does this mean I should get a cab home, or...” Rachel asked as Kurt and Blaine just continued to gaze at each other lovingly, hands clasped tightly between them, completely lost to the world around them.
“No, no, almost ready to go,” Kurt lied, completely unwilling to leave yet.
**
He was in bed by midnight, the time Blaine had promised he'd call. Even while having fun with his family tonight, the thought of what Blaine had told Rachel had never really left his mind. Had Blaine really had feelings for him all those months? It seemed almost cruel – he hadn't flaunted his relationship with Patrick, he had never done that, but still, he’d been happy while Blaine had not. And if he'd just realized sooner... the last thing he ever wanted was to make Blaine unhappy and thinking back to how sad he had been sometimes and that maybe at least some of those times Kurt had been the cause of it... He never wanted to cause Blaine any kind of pain, and though it had been unintentional, he'd still done it. It was a thought he could hardly bear.
It was a minute past midnight when Blaine called and Kurt picked up quickly, impatient to hear Blaine's lovely voice again.
“Hey,”
“Hey,” Blaine answered back. “Did you get home all right?”
“Obviously,” Kurt answered. “But I would have preferred to stay with you.”
“Me too.” Blaine sounded so sincere, Kurt had to press a hand to his mouth to stifle the joyful squeal that was threatening to burst free.
“We're going to see each other tomorrow, though, right?” Kurt asked. “I need to see you. And give you your Christmas present.”
“I can't wait to see you again,” Blaine said. “I never could, even before.”
“Same.” Kurt took a few breaths, making up his mind quickly. He hadn't been sure whether he wanted to talk about this or not, but anything but complete honesty hadn't worked so well for them lately. “I heard you talk to Rachel.”
“Okay,” Blaine said, sounding a little confused.
“I'm sorry, it's creepy I know. But...” Complete honesty, he reminded himself, deciding to just jump right into it if they were going to talk about this. “Well, I heard what you said and I... Is it true?”
“How much did you hear?” Blaine asked, not sounding angry at all about the fact that Kurt had listened in on them.
“You said... I heard what you said about Luke breaking up with you... that it was because you spent too much time with me. And that... you...”
Blaine sighed. “That I knew. Right then. That he was right.”
“Yes.” Kurt waited, knowing Blaine would tell him if he wanted to. If not... Well. Kurt had already decided he was never going to stop trying to make up for the fact that it had taken him so long to recognize his own feelings, so whether Blaine wanted to talk about this or not, it wouldn't change anything.
“It's true,” Blaine said simply. “I knew you that what I felt for you was more than friendship after that. I just... You had a boyfriend. I wasn't going to interfere. That's not who I am.”
“I know that,” Kurt said quickly, reassuringly. “I didn't mean... It's just that... I'm so sorry Blaine, I'm so sorry it took me so long. And – ”
“It's fine, Kurt,” Blaine interrupted him. “Don't worry about it.”
“But that night,” Kurt insisted. “Before I left for home. God, I must have hurt you so much by running out like that, and then that day at the coffee shop, that was so stupid of me and I'm so – ”
“Don't say sorry again,” Blaine insisted. “Please. You didn't know. You couldn't have known.”
“But – ”
“Did you mean everything you said to me tonight?”
Kurt didn't hesitate to answer. “Yes. Of course I did.”
“And that's all I need, Kurt,” Blaine said. “That's all I'll ever need.”
“I love you,” Kurt said, clutching the phone a little tighter, missing Blaine so fiercely right now his chest ached with it. “I wish you were here so I could kiss you.”
Blaine sighed on the other end. “I love you too. It was so hard saying goodbye to you tonight.”
“Yes.” Kurt had to focus on his breathing to control the longing in his heart. “But we'll see each other in a few hours.”
“I really, really can't wait,” Blaine said. “Just as a fair warning – I might be a little clingy for the next few weeks. Or months.”
Kurt had no choice – he laughed out loud at that, giddiness settling next to the pain of not having Blaine there in person. “I don't see anything wrong with that,” he said. “I might as well give you the same warning right now.”
“Oh, glad we're on the same page, then.” Kurt loved how he could not only hear the smile in Blaine's voice, but picture it so clearly in his mind.
“Are you very tired?” he asked.
“Not really,” Blaine answered.
“So you're okay to talk for a little while longer? I don't want to hang up yet,” Kurt confessed.
“I don't want to either,” Blaine replied quickly. “It wouldn't be the first time I've fallen asleep on the phone with you, but...”
“It's different now,” Kurt finished his sentence.
“Yeah.”
“I love that it's different.”
“Me too,” Blaine said. “Me too. I love that so much.”
Comments
gorgeous - captures that giddy in love experience so beautifully we need Klaine like this forever
Awww babies ya'll are finally together!! YAY!!! But ya'll are going to have to get used to being apart some b/c ya'll don't exactly live together in New York Plus, we now know how long Blaine's been actively feeling the same. This totally reinforces my idea that at least part of Blaine's breakdown was because of Kurt's blindness. There mutual clinginess absolutely adorable!! I really, really loved Rachel in this chapter too especially when she was smug but not overtly so. I think it really captured the essence of a more mature Rachel. She's still a diva and maybe a bit self-centered but it's toned down and more manageable thus she was mostly happy and only slightly smug. It just worked soooo perfet and was a great little detail for this chapter. You have such a strength with writing emotions though. Like , seriously I feel everything Kurt and Blaine feel, which is really impressive since this story is mainly Kurt POV. But the instance where you have describe Blaine's breath as being shaky from the moment I could just feel it and see it utterly perfectly. Plus, Kurt's entire feeling in this entire chapter (part a and b) were completely tangible and a beauty to see written out. You're definitely one of the best I've read at describing emotions. I can't say I'm also kinda curious to see what are last two chapters have in store. Do we get to see Christmas or will there be a time skip. I can't wait to find out, but I'll also be sad to see this story go. I love this realm so much. Everything about it from Jesse (which initially made me grumble), Kurt, and Rachel being roomies. To the blindness that was Blaine and Kurt this entire fic. I love the premise of it. Everything, I really love it Fantastic job as always. You really are a great writer!!
I'm way too lazy with my responses to reviews over here, but this one - I just have to reply since you took the time to write all of this and put the biggest smile on my face with it. THANK YOU. For your kind words and for liking this story. Saying that you like the emotion in this is the biggest compliment you could have given me, because I always worry about that aspect. I'm so glad to hear it's working. And it makes me very happy that you like Rachel (and Jesse?) in this story, it's so much fun for me to write them. I'm so, so grateful for having amazing and lovely readers like you. Thank you so much.