AN: As a reminder, this chapter tells the story of Finns death in 2018. Skip it if you dont want to read about his death. The next one is sad as well, but then we return to the happier memories.

Uncle Finns Story

Christmas 2038

The lights have come back on while he was telling the last story and everyone but his own little family has left the living room as soon as they could see again, most having heard that particular story before or were part of it.

After Blaine refilled their mugs – hot chocolate for the kids and hot chocolate with a splash of rum for him and Blaine – Ella speaks up again.

"Dads," she addresses them. "I know you dont like talking about it, but will you tell us what happened to uncle Finn? I know he died before we were born and you always said youd tell us when we are older."

Kurt shares a look with Blaine. His brother has been dead for twenty years now, but its still difficult to talk about the summer of 2018. Mainly because he and Blaine have blamed themselves and each other for what happened when Finn came to stay with them in New York that summer for so long afterward. Only countless hours of therapy had helped them come to terms with it and that the events that transpired hadnt been their fault.

But as much as it pains him to talk about Finn, it probably isnt such as bad idea to tell his teenaged children the truth about what happened.

"Alright," he concedes with a sigh. "Ill tell you. The summer of 2018 I was twenty-five and your dad and uncle Finn twenty-four. We were engaged at the time and planned to get married as soon as we could afford it."

"Wait," Alex interjects. "I thought you proposed to Papa in 2021." Kurt nods.

"Thats when we got engaged for the second time, but Ill get to that. Your dad and I were engaged and so was your uncle Finn. But while we hadnt set a date yet, uncle Finns wedding was only weeks away."

"He was married?" Alex interrupts again and Kurt shakes his head.

"Uncle Finn met his fiancée Carley when he went to U Dayton for a teaching degree. After graduation he taught P.E and coached the football team at our old high school here in Lima. Two years later, he and Carley got engaged and they seemed really happy until he caught her cheating on him with her ex-boyfriend a month before the wedding."

Late June 2018

"Why would she do that to me?" Finn sobbed into his whiskey glass.

It wasnt his first that night and Kurt sighed, knowing he and Blaine would have to haul Finns drunken ass back home again.

They had flown back to Lima after Finn called them with the bad news and for the past few days had tried to cheer him up. They had badmouthed his ex, told him he was too good for her anyway and had driven him back to their parents house after he drowned his sorrows in whiskey.

But Finn was inconsolable. Carley was his first proper girlfriend after he and Sarah broke up his sophomore year of college and he thought she was his soul mate as he told them whenever they voiced their concerns that Carley might not be one hundred per cent over her ex-boyfriend.

Because he and Blaine were still struggling to make ends meet and pay the bills each month, they couldnt stay in Lima forever to take care of Finn, unfortunately. But Kurt had a brilliant idea. He thought Finn needed a change of scenery and because his brother was on summer break, he invited him to come stay with them in New York until school started again.

They lived in a tiny one-bedroom apartment on 129th street, but had inherited a large couch from the previous tenant. It barely fit into their living room, but even fit Finns large frame as previous visits had proven.

Anxious to get away from his own apartment, where everything reminded him of Carley, Finn agreed and Burt drove the three of them, plus some of Finns belongings back to New York, because he knew they couldnt afford another plane ticket.

During the day, they had to leave Finn behind once they were back home because they both waited tables when they werent auditioning – in Kurts case rather unsuccessfully. Blaine also played piano in a small bar in Harlem four nights a week, where his brother – within the first two weeks of staying with them – became a regular, staying till closing time, so Blaine had to call Kurt to help him get Finn home a lot.

They werent too worried about his brothers behavior at first because they both had at points in their lives drowned their own sorrows in alcohol. When a month into staying with them, Finn still came home drunk most nights, usually waking them up because he tripped over something in their tiny living room or thinking 3 am was the appropriate time to watch TV with the volume up, he and Blaine both agreed that Finn needed something to occupy his time with so he didnt end up in a bar every night.

"You know that girl that moved into 3D a few months ago? Karen? I think she is our age and she told me once that she works nights. Maybe she could keep Finn company during the day," Blaine suggested as they walked to their favorite coffee shop for their once a week treat, eyes bleary from lack of sleep.

Kurt hummed noncommittally but didnt come up with a better idea. Neither of them could afford staying home with his brother and because they both had to get up early every day, they couldnt stay out all night with Finn to keep an eye on how much he was drinking either.

"Im gonna swing by her place after work, see if shes interested in meeting him," Blaine added and Kurt nodded because what could go wrong.

Finn and Karen hit it off right from the start and at nights she had to work he suddenly stayed home with them instead of going out on his own. When the two of them went out together he still came home drunk but at least now he and Blaine didnt have to worry about him getting lost or into trouble on his way home.

They got more sleep knowing he wasnt out there on his own until Finn came home and his clothes reeked of pot. In college, he and Blaine had tried it once and had immediately decided that smoking of any kind wasnt their thing and harmful to their voices. Their clothes had smelled of smoke, sure, but not as bad as Finns so he suspected that Finn had been exposed to quite a lot of it.

Again they didnt say anything at first because, well, they had experimented as well. But when by early August, drunk Finn had mostly been replaced by stoned Finn, Kurt decided it was time for an intervention.

His brother didnt take it well, but that was to be expected.

"Youre not my mom, dude and Im old enough to make my own decisions," he snapped when Kurt told him he was worried about him.

He and Blaine werent just concerned for Finns health. His brother was a teacher and if he got arrested for smoking pot, he would probably get fired. In their own chosen professions no one would care about something like that unless it impacted their work performance, but with Finn it was different.

"Where are you getting this stuff anyway?" Blaine wondered because he and Kurt had been living in New York for two years now and they had no clue where someone went to score drugs, even pseudo legal ones like marihuana.

"Oh, Karen knows this guy whose uncle out in Cali gets medical marihuana and doesnt mind sharing with his nephew who suffers from horrible migraines," Finn explained, uncrossing his arms only for the quotation marks.

Kurt glared at Blaine because he was the one who knew Karen and had introduced her to Finn.

"You have to stop doing this. At least not this much," Kurt told him. "School starts again soon and you are a mess. Ive we had kids I wouldnt want you around them right now, to be honest."

Apparently this was the wrong thing to say, because Finn stormed out and slammed the door shut behind him.

"You know, I thought this was just his way of dealing with the break up, but Im starting to think your brother may be depressed. Ive never seen him like this before – so self-destructive – and I think he probably should to talk to someone," Blaine observed and Kurt whole-heartedly agreed.

They approached the subject the next morning after Finn had sobered up.

"Im just having fun. Isnt that why you asked me to come stay here? So I could relax and forget all about Carley? So now that I do, you suddenly dont like it. Were in our mid-twenties not mid-sixties. Live a little," was Finns response, ignoring their efforts to get him to open up.

Because they didnt know that else to do, Kurt finally called Carole and told her about Finns drinking and the drugs. That night, when Finn returned from Karens place, he was angrier than Kurt had ever seen him before.

He had never worried about Finn actually hitting him – not even in the beginning – but that night, he was afraid of his brother.

When Finn returned two days later, Kurt handed him a train ticket.

"I really dont want to do this," Kurt told his brother, his eyes pleading with him to understand that going back home early was for his own good.

The ticket was for the following day, the early morning train to Columbus and Kurt hoped that Finn would just accept it and go home to their parents.

He was hopeful that being away from Karen would make him stop drinking before the new school year started.

Finn just shoved the ticket into his back pocket.

"Fuck you, Kurt. I thought we were brothers, but clearly the only person who cares about me in this fucking city doesnt live in this apartment. Im gonna go check out this new club with Karen. Dont wait up. Ill be out of your hair in the morning," Finn snarled.

Kurt felt bad after Finns outburst but he was also relieved that he hadnt put up a fight and would be heading back to Lima the next morning.

The train to Columbus left early – at six am - so Finn had to come back during the night for his bag if he wanted to catch it. When Blaine woke him around two am Kurt was pissed at first because he was seriously sleep deprived by now.

"Finns bag is still in the living room. Maybe we should call and remind him he has to get it soon," Blaine whispered, his hair in disarray, and pillow marks on his cheek.

Even though he had bags under his eyes as well, Kurt found him incredibly hot in that moment but that probably was because theyd barely been intimate since Finn came to New York. He ignored the horny part of his brain and dialed Finns number. Once his brother was back home, he could revisit those thoughts.

The call went straight to voice mail and Kurt left a short message reminding Finn about the trains departure time. Half an hour later they still hadnt heard from him, so Kurt texted Karen. He was grateful now, that Blaine had stolen her number of Finns phone after their failed intervention.

"Still at the club but heading home soon. Dont worry Ill get him on that train," she texted back a few minutes later and after agreeing that there wasnt anything they could do at the moment they went back to bed.

The sun was up high when Kurt woke up the next morning and for a moment he was confused because he actually felt well rested. Luckily, it was his and Blaines day off from work and he had no audition scheduled either. His fiancé was still snoring lightly next to him and when he checked the clock he saw that it was almost ten already.

Rubbing his eyes, he padded into the living room where he promptly tripped over Finns bag. He cursed loudly and picked up his phone. The night before, hed left it on the coffee table, which explained why he hadnt heard his alarm go off.

Ready to give Finn a piece of his mind, Kurt unlocked the screen and frowned. He had tens missed calls and even more unread text messages from Karen. Confused he opened the newest one.

"Please call me, Kurt! Its urgent!"

He quickly scanned through the other texts but they all basically said the same. Kurt sighed and dialed her number.

"If this is about Finn missing his train I already know," he told her after she picked up after the first ring.

Instead of an answer he was met with the sound of crying. Kurts heart sank as his mind ran through all kinds of horror scenarios.

"Karen, youre scaring me. Where are you?" he demanded while he prayed that it wasnt a police station.

"Im so sorry, Kurt. I didnt know. I promise, I didnt. Oh my god," the girl sobbed.

Kurts grip on his phone tightened.

"Where are you?" he repeated and his voice shook. The conversation reminded him too much of his dads heart attack six years ago.

Suddenly, a male voice addressed him.

"Mr. Hummel? This is Doctor Turner from New York Presbyterian in Lower Manhattan. Can I ask what your relation to Finn Hudson is?"

"Hes my stepbrother," Kurt forced out, willing Blaine to wake up. "Whats going on? Did he get hurt?"

"I regret to inform you that Mr. Hudson passed away early this morning. If you could come to the hospital for proper identification I will answer all questions you might have. I wish I didnt have to ask you for this, but unfortunately he wasnt carrying an ID when he was picked up by the ambulance so we need a family member to identify him."

The phone crashed to the floor, the noise echoing in the otherwise silent apartment. By the time strong arms pulled him against Blaines chest, tears were streaming down his face and he was shaking uncontrollably.

"Kurt?"

He felt like he was underwater, Blaines voice sounding distant though his boyfriend was right next to him.

"Finns dead," he whispered, hoping that any second hed wake from this nightmare.

After his mothers accident he never wanted to get a call like this again, but here he was, eight years older but no less shaken up.

Blaines grip loosened and when Kurt raised his head, Blaine was staring back at him, his mouth wide open in shock.

"Wha-, what happened?" he croaked. Kurt shrugged helplessly.

"I dont know. They want me to come to the hospital and ID him because he didnt have his wallet on him. All I know is that Karen tried to reach me for the past five hours."

It surprised him that he hadnt lost his ability to speak yet.

"I can do it, Kurt. You dont have to see him," Blaine offered, as pale as Kurt usually was.

Kurt shook his head.

"It has to be family and we arent married yet," he whispered before he pushed away from Blaine and ran into their bedroom.

He put on the first pair of pants in sight and threw another pair at Blaine before he rushed back into the living room to collect his wallet, keys and phone.

When Blaine caught up with him, he was already trying to hail a cab they couldnt really afford after paying for Finns train ticket.

Neither of them said a word as the taxi slowly made its way through Manhattan and Kurt was grateful that the cab driver ignored the two openly crying passengers in the backseat.

Shortly before they reached the hospital, Blaine brought up the one thing, he absolutely didnt want to think about right now.

"Were gonna have to call your parents."

It made the tears come even faster, especially when he thought about Ethan. The fifteen year old worshipped the ground his coach and brother walked on.

His youngest sibling had gone through so much shit already in his young life and Kurt was about to add another thing.

"I need to see the doctor first. I cant call them until I know what happened," he sobbed.

The cab driver gave them a sympathetic smile when they paid for the ride and together they stumbled through the front door of the emergency room.

In a corner he spotted Karen talking to a police officer and snapped. He ran up to her and shoved her as hard as he could.

"What the fuck did you do?" he yelled as he took in her tear-streaked face. "You promised youd get him on the train."

Blaines arms wrapped around him from behind and Kurt collapsed into his fiancés arms.

"Mr. Hummel, I presume?" the police officer asked and Kurt nodded, hoarse from all the crying and yelling at Karen.

"I just finished questioning Ms. Adler so I can tell you what we know so far."

Kurt nodded, because he needed answers. The officer opened his notebook and flipped back a few pages.

"Your brother and Ms. Adler entered a dance club in the Meat Packing Distract around eleven pm. Theyd been drinking before they got there and continued to do so for another hour. Ms. Adler stated that Mr. Hudson asked her for marihuana and when she refused because he had an early train to catch, he got angry and told her he would find some on his own.

When he returned half an hour later, he was hyperactive and dragged Ms. Adler onto the dance floor where he stayed for about an hour. When she asked him if he had taken anything, he refused to answer. Ms. Adler tried to get him to go home but Mr. Hudson resisted and she lost sight of him again.

She found him again shortly before you contacted her and he seemed to have calmed down and agreed to leave after a few more songs. An hour later, they were still at the club and Mr. Hudson complained about not feeling well. Ms. Adler went outside to hail a cab and when she returned to fetch him, your brother had collapsed on the dance floor and another guest had already called an ambulance," the police officer read from the notebook as Kurt trembled in Blaines arms.

Before he could ask what happened next, a middle-aged man in a white coat approached them. He wore the kind of expression all doctors seem to have in common when they have to deliver bad news.

"Im Doctor Turner," he introduced himself before he addressed the police officer. "If you are done here, Id like to talk to Mr. Hummel and …," he trailed off and looked at Blaine, who was still holding Kurt in his arms.

"Blaine Anderson. Im Kurts fiancé," Blaine mumbled and the doctor nodded.

"Were done," the officer stated before he led Karen away.

"What, what was it?" Kurt croaked once they were alone.

"We cant say yet; not before we have the toxicology report, but from the way Ms. Adler described your brothers behavior I suspect Ecstasy or something like it. Most people are fine if they take it as long as they stay hydrated, but with your brother drinking and overexerting himself, it seems like his body couldnt handle whatever drug he ingested.

The EMTs arriving on the scene managed to revive him briefly on the way to the hospital, but by the time they arrived here, the attending physicians, including myself, couldnt do anything for him anymore. We tried to revive him for half an hour, unfortunately unsuccessfully.

Im terribly sorry for your loss, but hospital policy demands that either you or another family member identifies him. We tried to reach his emergency contact – a Ms. Carley Benson – but the number is no longer in service."

Kurt heard the words, but he couldnt believe they were true. Why would Finn do something so incredibly stupid? And why had they let him leave the night before. They should have made sure he got on the train, locked him up in the apartment if necessary.

The list of crazy ideas got longer as he numbly followed the doctor to an elevator leading to the morgue. His grip on Blaines hand was so tight, he was certain he was cutting off his circulation, but his fiancé didnt complain. Fortunately, the doctor had allowed Blaine to come along, because he didnt know if he could handle this on his own.

His knees shook as they stepped into a room filled with metal tables. It smelled of cleaning supplies and when he spotted the instruments next to some of the tables his stomach lurched.

They came to a halt in front of the last table. A white sheet covered the body underneath and Kurt felt like throwing up. Because once he saw the person underneath, it would all become irrefutably true. Afterward, there would be no more denying this really happened and he knew he would never be ready for that, no matter how much time the doctor gave him.

Knowing that delaying the inevitable wouldnt change anything, that Karen hadnt made a mistake and Finn was sitting on the train back to Ohio after all, he squared his shoulders and nodded once. His short nails dug into Blaines hands as the doctor lifted the sheet and Kurt steeled himself for what he would see.

In the end, the horrible thing was that Finn looked like he was just sleeping. Like he could jump up any second and tell him this was nothing more than an awful prank. Only the stiffness of his features caused by the onset of rigor mortis convinced him of the truth.

That the last thing Finn had told him was that he was a shitty brother. That Finn might not be dead if Kurt hadnt backed him into a corner with his intervention and constant nagging. If Blaine had never introduced him to Karen. If Karen had never moved into their building in the first place. If Finn hadnt met Carley. If his mother hadnt died and Finn had never become his true brother.

He was still caught in what if land when the doctors voice startled him.

"Mr. Hummel?"

"Yes, thats him," he forced out, assuming this had been the question.

The doctor moved the sheet back over Finns head and offered them a few minutes to say their goodbyes, but Kurt had to get out of there. He felt the walls closing in and bile rise in his throat. After ripping his hand out of Blaines grip, he rushed to the trash can by the door and started dry heaving over it.

His knuckles tightened around the edge of the bin while his body tried to empty his stomach. Once he stopped, he let Blaine pull him to his feet and lead him out of the morgue back to the elevators.

"You know the hospital can call your parents. You dont need to this alone," Blaine told him as the elevator carried them back to the ground floor. Kurt shook his head.

"They should hear it from me."

When his mother had died, he hadnt been able to make calls. As soon as the hospital had realized that he was underage and had no family in the area, they had called social services who had contacted his dad and everyone else Kurt could think of.

But he wasnt a scared seventeen year old any more and Finn had been his responsibility this summer. It was his fault this had happened, so he was the one who had to confess what he had done.

Blaine led him to an empty bench next to the outdoor smoking area, where Kurt took out his phone with shaking fingers. He fumbled with the buttons and nearly dropped it before Blaine put his hands on top of his to steady it.

"You dont have to," Blaine repeated but Kurt knew it had to be him.

His dad picked up after two rings and his cheerful greeting made Kurt gag again.

"Whats up, kiddo? Finn on the train already?" he asked before he added. "Carole tried to call him but his phone is off."

"Dad," Kurt sobbed and he could hear his dads breath hitch.

"Where are you Kurt?"

"At the hospital. I, I, I…" he stuttered.

"Kurt, are you okay? Did something happen to you or Blaine? Did someone hurt you?" his dad asked, worry evident in his tone.

"Its Finn," he managed to force out.

"Finn?" His dad sounded confused. "I thought you put him on the train this morning."

"I, no, we, ah…" He couldnt say it and so he didnt fight Blaine when he took his phone.

"Burt, its Blaine. I dont know how to tell you this, but Finn, he, he took something last night and we dont know what happened exactly but the doctors, they couldnt help him anymore," his fiancé recounted in a broken voice.

Kurt took the phone back and was met with silence.

"Da- Dad?"

"Is he telling the truth, Kurt?" His dad sounded angry all of a sudden, but Kurt barely flinched. He deserved his dads anger.

"Yes," he sobbed. "Im so sorry."

"Where the hell where you when this happened? You said you were keeping him safe," his father yelled and Kurt wanted to tell him to think of his heart.

He could hear Caroles voice in the background, asking what was going on and Kurt cried harder.

"I didnt know, Dad. He was angry we were sending him home, but he said hed get on the train after going out to a club. How was I supposed to know?"

When his dad spoke up again, he sounded as if he had aged twenty years in the past few minutes.

"Im sorry, kiddo. I dont know what just happened. I need to tell Carole. Ill call you when we get to New York. Text me which hospital."

Christmas 2038

"I dont know what your grandpa told grandma and I never asked, but they arrived in New York six hours later and sent us home. Your grandma took care of everything, arranged the funeral, informed all of our friends and Finns from college. I dont know how she did it all while the rest of us was falling apart."

"I couldnt afford to break down at the time. You and Blaine barely slept or ate while we stayed with you, Ethan refused to leave his room, Casey, the girl staying with us at the time disappeared for a week because she didnt want to bother us and Carley showed up unexpectedly because she felt guilty for what happened."

Kurt looks up when he sees Carole standing in the doorway. He doesnt know how long shes been standing there, but judging by the unshed tears glistening in her eyes, he assumes shes been here for a while.

Ella and Alex are cuddled up to his husband, looking shell-shocked and Kurt wonders briefly, if telling them the awful truth wasnt a mistake after all.

"Thats so sad," Ella finally says and Kurt just nods.

Finns death had nearly destroyed his and Blaines relationship and it had taken them a long time to come to terms with the fact that they couldnt have known and that it wasnt their fault.

"So, was it because of uncle Finn that you didnt get married?" Alex asks after a moment of silence.

"Are you sure you want to hear this right now?" Blaine asks their kids. "This really isnt a nice story and things got really bad for a while afterward."

Ella and Alex share a look before they nod. Kurt looks at Carole and she sits down in his dads armchair.

"I never really knew what happened before you finally came to us for help," she says and Kurt takes a deep breath.

"We didnt think things could get worse but when we started to turn on each other, everything fell apart…"