His heart was tight in his chest, the constant rising of his ribcage sending painful shudders all over his body, burning his skin and leaving him breathless, motionless, helpless. He hadn’t moved from his spot in hours, hadn’t even changed the position in which he was lying on his bed, staring at the wall, only blinking every now and then. He was tired, exhausted even, on the edge of completely losing himself to the fatigue overcoming his body. Blaine hadn’t really slept since the day he had left Kurt’s apartment without looking back or listening to anything the other one had so say. He just ran. Like he always did. Like it always had been.

Blaine hadn’t answered his calls, had completely ignored his texts and tried to push off the feeling that it wouldn’t keep him away. It never did. But he didn’t want to see Kurt, didn’t want to talk to him. Never again. Not since this slip of composure.

He couldn’t hold back the sob creeping out of his lungs as he pressed his face into the pillow, his trembling fingers clinging to the sheets.

Blaine had lost it. It wasn’t even like he had done anything. He could easily explain his actions with his drunken libido. Kurt would totally buy it and everything would go back to normal. But Blaine couldn’t do that. He knew as soon as he smashed the door shut behind him that he couldn’t keep up with this kind of behavior anymore. The lying and the pretending. He wouldn’t be able to be the kind of friend Kurt deserved to have.

The sudden movement of his phone on his bedside table made him jump slightly. Blaine rolled onto his side, tugging the pillow close, nuzzling his nose deep into the fabric, still smelling Kurt’s scent from all the countless sleepovers. He really tried hard to choke back his tears, almost suffocating though, but there was no use to it anymore.

It’s been a week since he talked to Kurt, even left his house! He had called in sick on Monday just to go back to bed right away, crying himself to sleep only to be woken up by horrid nightmares. Blaine just was like that. When heartache found him it always hit him hard.

A sudden knock on the door shook him out of his heart wrenching sobbing. Confusion washed over his face as he slowly lifted up his body to scan the room with blurry eyes as if the answers to his question were hiding somewhere around here.

A deep sigh left his lips as he finally got up, running his hand through his curls. He almost tripped over his own useless feet as he made his way through the hallway, completely oblivious with who could really have the nerve to show up on his doorstep.

The moment he opened the door without even considering this possibility he stumbled a few steps back, eyes wide, chest rising heavy.

“Kurt.” His voice was shaking as the word crawled over his lips. Blaine didn’t expect for Kurt to show up on his doorstep, a defeated and hurt look on his face. How could he have been this na�ve? Of course Kurt would come around to check on Blaine after a week of dead silence. If he wasn’t as shocked and scared as he actually was he would have actually face palmed himself.

“Blaine…“ His voice was nothing more but a whisper as Kurt stepped forward, reaching out to stroke the curls out of Blaine’s face. But Blaine stepped further away from him, wrapping his arms around his middle and sending Kurt an ice cold look. Kurt stopped in his tracks. Pure agony shot across his face as he dropped his arm, his look still focused on Blaine’s horrible appearance. It suddenly hit Blaine full force that he must look terrible. He hadn’t shaved in days. His hair was messy as hell and his clothes were so wrinkled that he wasn’t even sure he would be ever able to make them smooth again.

“You haven’t answered any of my calls or texts.”

“I’m quite aware of that.” Although his voice wasn’t really loud it was still sending enough messages to make anyone else but Kurt to back off. Blaine’s facial expressions were as dismissive as they could be but it didn’t faze Kurt the least. As usually. He was too stubborn to let it go. To just let Blaine have his space.

“Blaine, what the hell is wrong with you? If it’s about what happened last week I ..-“ But Blaine cut him off with a cruel laugh, shaking his head slightly. Blaine shifted his weight, stemming his hands into his hips and scrutinizing the floor just a moment too long before he finally lifted his head to look at Kurt. He tried to ignore it, but it stung his heart as Kurt’s hurt look and the tears in the corners of his eyes hit him right into the guts.

“Can you just drop it and leave me alone? I really don’t want to talk about it right now. Or, like ever.”

“About what, Blaine? What’s going on with you?” Kurt was putting his foot into the door frame as Blaine tried to slam it right into his face, his eyes still wide with disbelief. He really couldn’t put his finger on what was going on here, why Blaine was so distant out of a sudden and why he literally had ended their friendship. Kurt deserved more than that.

Blaine let go of the door but he didn’t step aside so Kurt could actually enter the apartment. But instead of saying something to answer any of Kurt’s eligible questions he just folded his arms across his chest and looked at the floor like a defiant little child.

“Can you go, please?”

It was the sheer pain in his voice, the way how rejecting his words rang back in his ears that made Kurt want to burst out into tears right away. Blaine’s body language was saying so much but most of all it was telling Kurt he wasn’t welcome anymore. Kurt could hear his own heart shatter into little pieces.

“Blaine, whatever I did wrong, let me fix it. Please.” He couldn’t hold back the tears anymore as he was practically begging now.

And that was the moment when Blaine broke, right in front of Kurt’s eyes as he let down all of his guards, hot tears streaming down his face.

“You cannot fix this. Just leave me alone. I don’t want to see you. Ever. Again. GO!” Blaine never yelled but now that he did he could feel his voice breaking mid-sentence, all due to the sobs shaking his entire body. He pushed Kurt back into the hallway, slamming the door loudly right into his face.

“Blaine!” Kurt hammered against the door as it would change anything. But it was no use. Blaine didn’t react. He didn’t react to his pleading words or to his painful sobs.

Because he couldn’t. He was too tired, too exhausted. The moment the door was finally closed his legs hadn’t been able hold up his weight any longer. As soon as his shaking body hit the floor he let go of everything he had been holding onto for the last week, crying shamelessly into the quit of his apartment.

On the other side Kurt's forehead was pressed against the closed door, his fingertips resting on the cold surface. Hot tears were streaming down on his face, leaving salty tracks on his pale skin. His eyes were only partly closed, his sight too blurred to really focus on anything as he was staring to the ground.

Silent sobs were echoing through the hall. "Blaine. Please. Open the door."