"Morning," I say to Rachel when I emerge out from my bedroom. She's picking up plastic cups and all the other mess the impromptu party left behind last night.

"Hey!" she greets cheerily.

"Where is everyone?"

"Well, Santana and Puck went out for breakfast- lets pray they don't come back with another party. Mercedes and Finn left to catch the early flight back to LA."

"What?" I say in disappointment. "Why did they leave so soon?"

"Mercedes has to settle something for her record, and Finn has a lot of papers to grade so he left first."

"Awe that's too bad. I actually would have preferred for Santana and Puck to leave though."

"Tell me about it," Rachel rolls her eyes. "So where's Gabe?"

"He went home last night after the blackout."

I refrain from telling her that he was acting weird after the blackout. I refrain from telling her he didn't kiss me or even look me in the eye when he left. Though subconsciously I knew why he was acting the way he did.

When Blaine and I kissed in that spin the bottle game- I felt the same way I felt the night he kissed me when he was drunk. The feeling was weird- but, good weird which is why it's all the more confusing. I have never felt that way from a kiss before- and given Blaine was sober, did he possibly feel that same way too?

"What was up with Blaine last night?"

"What do you mean?" I frown at her.

"Well, he was pretty- I don't know he didn't look like he got along well with Gabe."

"He doesn't. He pretty much hates him."

"Hmm, figures," Rachel says.

"What does that mean?" I frown at her again.

"Nothing. So hey, lets hang out today I haven't see you for awhile and I wanna hear all about your new man," she brushes it off and I shrug.

"Okay."

"Oh, and what even happened during the blackout? I barely saw anyone for like an hour."

I refrain from telling her that Blaine and I kissed, despite the blackout. I refrain from telling her I felt Blaine's hand in the back of my hair, pulling me closer to him. I refrain from telling her I was exploding inside when he kissed me because as much as I want to tell her, even I don't understand what I was feeling.

"Nothing, lets head out."

---------

"Oh god, I've missed my New York!" Rachel exclaims when we take a seat at the coffee shop in Times Square. "California is great but there really is nothing like New York."

"Why did you leave then," I tease her.

"You know why."

"How's life on the Gold Coast anyway? Clearly the sun isn't doing you any justice because honey, that tan is tacky."

"Shut up. That's what Blaine said yesterday," I gulp at the mere mention of Blaine's name. What is wrong with me?

"Okay, I'm going to tell you something they I haven't told anyone besides Finn. Ready?"

"Are you pregnant?"

"No!" Rachel yells. "Of course not are you crazy?"

"How would I know. You look a little pudgy," I tell her and she flicks a finger at me.

"No, the thing I wanted to tell you is- I shot a Pilot for this new show called Bernie and Rice. It's a pretty great comedy about two girls living in an apartment in New York and- well they go through a lot of shenanigans basically."

"Sounds like something I've watched before," I tell her.

"Hey come on! I'm excited for this. I hope the pilot gets picked up though. I've been shooting for weeks."

"When will you know if it's picked up?"

"This week, hopefully," she tells.

"How are you and Finn up there?"

Rachel's face grows glum and I don't know if I should pursue. I know Rachel's not the type who would just spill all her problems because she's humble and a little private, but I hope she does to me.

"We're okay I guess," she shrugs.

"That sounds convincing."

"It's just-" Rachel sighs. "I don't know what it is it's like- it's like we're not the same pair we were before. It feels distant somehow."

"Well, relationships mature, don't they?"

"I know, but I love Finn. It's just- I don't know maybe it's because we've both been busy with work lately."

Rachel and Finn have been together all through high school. They had a brief break up when Rachel moved to New York for NYADA and Finn refused to follow, but soon he realized he needed her so he moved to New York too, but after Rachel graduated they made a mutual decision to move up to California. Though Rachel made it sound as if she wants to pursue acting, I know she feels like she owes Finn because he moved to New York for her dreams, now she had to do the same so Finn can pursue his.

"So how is NYADA, huh? Final year aren't you?"

"Yeah. It's pretty hectic but I don't dread anymore because I get to see Gabe there."

"He goes to school there too?"

"Sort of. He's a lecturer there."

Rachel's jaw drops at my tell. Her brown eyes wider than usual as she tries to absorb my information.

"You're dating a teacher? I never pegged you to be like Brody!"

"Oh god no!" I argue. "Brody humped Cassandra they didn't date, okay? Me and Gabe- I love him."

"Love?" Rachel's eyes widened again. "Wow, Kurt. You're all grown up and I'm a proud mama."

"Shut up," I smack her arm.

"I'm serious. You're dating a great, hot guy, it's your final year. Your life sounds like it's flowing, Kurt."

"Thanks. Yours too with Bernie and Rice," I wink at her though she doesn't smile her widest and I wonder why.

"So why does Blaine not like Gabe?" Rachel ask.

"Oh I don't know," I shrug at her. "At first he said I was jumping the wagon with Gabe way too soon and he did a ridiculous background check on him. Even now after Gabe confirmed everything in that stupid background check Blaine still despises him. I don't know really."

Rachel has that look again. That look that says she's hiding something from me. It's not uncommon. She used to do it a lot of times in high school when I talked about a favorite musical which she doesn't like.

"What?" I ask her.

"Oh, nothing-" she feigns.

"Don't give me that crap. Tell me what's on your mind."

"Kurt-"

"Tell me, or we'll have a repetition of senior year," I tell her because everyone remembers that fight Rachel and I had that led to a slap contest between me and her.

"Really, it's nothing. Nothing that needs to be said now, at least. Come on don't ruin this day! I haven't seen you for so long and I'm back in my New York. Lets enjoy this day."

I stare her down. Though I want to press on, I don't think an argument or any form of confession from Rachel might lead to anything remotely good. I drop the topic and sip on my coffee, enjoying this beautiful day with my long, estranged friend from LA.

--------

"What time did he say he'd get here?" Rachel ask from the kitchen as she pops a bag of popcorn into the oven.

"In an hour- Santana why were you in my room!" I yell when the Latino girl emerges from my door.

"Why so scared, Hummel? Afraid I might find your riding corp and whip? Didn't pegged you to be into that fifty shades kinky fuckery shit-"

I flick my finger at her in response.

"Relax. I was just looking for moisturiser," she says as she grabs a magazine and takes a seat on the couch.

Gabe is coming over for a movie and popcorn tonight, and I've invited Rachel and Santana to join us. I would have invited Puck but he opted for a strip club instead. He seems to be enjoying New York- like alot. In the afternoon itself he went prowling around town with Santana looking for god knows what those two are capable of.

"Is hobbit not coming?" Santana ask.

"No, I called him but he said he was busy with work. Which is so weird considering its a Saturday night."

"Maybe he was too ashamed to admit he wants to go down to a twinky gay bar to pick up some lost college boys."

That actually sounds like something he would do.

To be honest, I am glad Blaine is not coming over. I still don't understand what happened when we kissed at that game, and seeing him might actually be awkward. He hasn't spoken to me all day and he only hugged me very briefly before he left the party last night.

Maybe a part of me is afraid of confronting that kiss because it might lead to something unwanted. I don't know, but I smile when I hear the buzzer go off and it's Gabe.

"Gabe! Hello," Rachel greets him with a hug when he enters the apartment.

"Hi Rachel," he smiles. He catches sight of me and strolls to where I am standing. He leans down and pecks me lightly.

"Hi," he breathes.

"Hey," I grin up at him.

"We haven't formally met. I'm Santana, and you're the guy tapping on lady Hummel, right?," she says, extending her arm at her.

Gabe snickers, "Kurt has told me about you."

"Yeah? McKinley's bitch I presume?"

"Not at all," Gabe smiles politely.

"Okay, so what are we watching?"
I ask, interrupting their conversation.

"The Switch," Rachel tells. "The one with Jen Aniston."

"Is that the one about how the two bestfriends falls in love in the end?" Gabe ask.

"Yeah, so sit down already," Santana tells.

-------

The movie ends and it's late- really late. Rachel is practically asleep after she spent the entire movie time getting to know Gabe a little better, in which Santana continuously threw popcorns at her telling her to be quiet.

"Are you staying over?" I ask Gabe who has his head rested on my shoulder.

"Do you want me to?" he ask.

"I always want you to stay over," I tell him.

I stand up and walk on over to the cabinet where I store extra blankets for guest. I throw one over Rachel who is already snoring. Santana is tapping away on her phone.

"Come on," I tell Gabe who takes my hand and follows me into my bedroom.

"If you're gonna bone, do so quietly because I get pretty Lima Heights when I'm awaken in the middle of the night by sex noise, so I won't be held accountable if I happen to slap you both across the face," Santana yells.

"Goodnight to you too," I tell her before slamming the door. "Finally, alone with you," I say to Gabe as I walk forward to him and kiss him on his lips. Yes, this is where my lips belong- with this man. Where I should belong.

"Where's your other friend? The Mohawk?"

"Puck?" I ask as Gabe strips his clothes off.

"Yeah," he says.

"I don't know. Out prowling around for a pussy I think. He's a jackass who cares."

"Did you all go to the same high school?"

"Yeah. We were all in glee club."

"Glee club?" Gabe says, amused. "I didn't know you were in glee club."

"Yeah, well my talent had to be put somewhere. Puck was in too, though I think he hated all of us."

"Why is that?" Gabe ask.

"Because he's that asshole jock that bullies everyone. He threw me in the dumpster in sophomore year."

"He was one of your bullies?"

"Sort of. He kinda stopped bullying me after junior prom because it went too far."

"What happened at prom?" Gabe ask and I regret bringing it up. It was one of my most traumatic, yet fond memories of high school.

"You don't want to hear about that-"

"I do. Come on, Kurt. You love me don't you?" he says with those gleaming greens eyes staring at me.

"Yes, I do," I smile and slide onto the bed with him. "You really wanna hear this?"

"Yes," Gabe says, and he sounds insistent.

"Okay, well in junior prom, it was mandatory for the glee club members to go because we were performing. Otherwise I would have ditched the entire fiasco. Blaine went too, but he went with his football coach's daughter. That's a long story you don't even wanna know- lets just say she was a troll and the coach threatened to kick him out of the team if he didn't take her. Anyway, I went with Mercedes and Sam, a third wheel so to know how I felt, just think of the most miserable thing in the world and then times that by five. It was fine at first, everything was good and I basically spent the night sitting by a table with Blaine occasionally coming to accompany me, though the coach watched him like a hawk so he couldn't really leave the troll girl," I say, stepping into dark, dark memory lane.

"So you know how it's tradition that two students to be nominated prom king and queen?," I ask Gabe and he nods. "Yeah, well some of the jocks, Puck included, secret balloted me for prom queen."

Gabe's face turns sullen as he watches me ramble on about one of the most traumatic nights of my life. One I still wake up sweating from.

"It was- needless to say the most humiliating thing of my life."

"I'm sorry," Gabe says. "For asking."

"It's okay," I tell him. "I want you to know everything about me, like you want me to know everything about you."

He kisses me chastely on my cheek and I smile. How can I be confused after kissing Blaine at that party? This is where my heart belongs, with this man. With this man who loves me back, who surrendered himself to me. I cannot be confuse, because he feels right.

"So then what happened?" Gabe presses on.

"Then? Oh, urm- yeah well I was nominated prom queen and I cried but Blaine told me to own it, so I did. I wore the crown despite people snickering at me. When it came to the king and queen dance, the king was this homophobic jackass who won basically because he was popular and hot- to cock hungry girls, at least- so he refused to dance with me and walked off. I was left standing alone in the middle like that and then Blaine stepped forward and danced with me."

"Blaine?" Gabe says. "That was- sweet of him."

"He's my bestfriend," I point out.

A look falls upon Gabe's face. A look I don't understand. His eyes are vacant, like his thoughts wander off somewhere. I wonder what he's thinking of and somehow wished I had mind reading powers.

"What's wrong?" I frown at him.

"Can I ask you something?"

"You always can," I tell him.

"Have you and Blaine ever been together?"

My eyes go wide at his question, but there is no trace of humour. He's serious- those green eyes searching me for my answer.

"No," I frown. "He's my bestfriend-"

"Be honest?"

"I am!" I yell, though regretfully because he is taken aback. "Why would you ask such a thing?"

"It was just a question," Gabe argues.
"Because it sure sounds, and looks like you guys dated."

"Excuse me?" I glare at him.

He climbs off the bed and stands, his hands on his hips. He looks mad, his face red and angry. I don't know how this escalated, but I am not going to be accused like this.

"He was your knight and shining hero at prom, he's protective over you, that kiss at that party last night? Yeah, pretty hard to believe you two never dated."

"Blaine and I never dated," I say at him. "He's my bestfriend. He has always been my bestfriend, and that kiss was because of a stupid spin the bottle game that, need I remind you, you wanted to play, okay?"

"It might have been a game, but what I saw wasn't a play. It looked pretty real to me."

"What are you accusing me of here? It was a stupid game-"

"Yeah but why were you still kissing him even when the lights went out?"

I am stunned beyond comprehension. How did me sharing about my past suddenly become a fight about my relationship with my bestfriend? This is ridiculous.

"So?"

"So?" Gabe yells at me. "If you weren't enjoying that kiss you would've parted the second the lights went off-"

"Are you being serious?"

"Look, that's not the point, okay?"

"Then what is?" I argue.

"The point is that I don't like you hanging around Blaine because I think he likes you, and I'm pretty sure you like him too."

"What?" I glare at him. "I already told you that I love you. You! I introduced you to all my friends now why would I do that if I didn't love you?"

Gabe studies me and he exhales heavily. "I don't want to share you, Kurt."

"You're not! Blaine is my bestfriend! What happened to that promise of not letting Blaine come between us?" I say.

"Yeah, maybe you should tell that to yourself," Gabe says. "I don't even wanna be here right now."

He slips on his pants and pulls his shirt back on and makes for the door in a swift movement. He doesn't turn back and when the door slams shut I bury my face into my pillow and scream my loudest.

I feel confused. I feel hurt. I feel like the man I loved just walked out on me and I haven't felt more abandoned. Then again I am confused. Could that possibly be explanation of how I felt during the kiss? I didn't understand it, but maybe that's because I was perceiving it from a different angle.

I am so confused, and when a tear falls from my lashes, I force myself to bed.

-------

There is a knock on my door the next morning and I awake. Rachel pops her head in before she enters when she sees I'm awake.

"Morning," she greets cautiously as she slides onto my bed. "How are you? I heard you and Gabe were arguing last night."

"Please don't," I tell her and I bury my head under the pillow again.

"You wanna talk about it?" she ask encouragingly.

"If I don't want to talk to a therapist what makes you think I want to talk to you," I tell Rachel.

"Hey Hummel. Why were you and ballet guy fighting last night? Trouble in gay paradise already?" Santana ask as she enters and slides onto my bed as well.

"It's really none of both your businesses."

"Come on," Rachel says as she wrestles the pillow off my face. "We're your friends. Talk to us," she says.

"Partial friends," Santana adds on.

I debate over myself whether I should tell them, then again I used to share everything with Rachel when we were living together back when she was still in NYADA. Not so much with Santana, though maybe she could give some honest, not sugar coated points?

I decide why the hell not.

"Gabe and I were fighting because- because he thinks Blaine and I used to be a thing and that we still have feelings for each other," I shrug.

I notice Rachel and Santana exchange a glance and I frown at them both. "What?" I say.

"Well, can you blame him?"

"What does that mean?" I frown at Rachel.

"It means that everyone basically assumes you and toddler boy go bareback together from time to time," Santana responds.

I am shocked. "What? Why? You guys know Blaine and I have been best friends since forever!"

"Yeah, but you guys always look so cute together-"

"Since when have you guys thought that?"

"Well- since high school. We've all always been suspicious about the two of you because you two always were- together."

"That's because we're bestfriends."

"Has it ever occurred to you that maybe- just maybe- you and Blaine would make a great couple?"

"No!" I yell in protest. "He's- he's Blaine. My bestfriend Blaine that farts a lot and wears too much hair gel."

"Look, all we're saying is that Gabe or whatever his name is, probably felt threatened by the hobbit. You and Blaine are pretty tight, so maybe he was jealous," Santana says.

"He has no reason to be. I've told him countless of times that Blaine and I simply are bestfriends and nothing other than that."

I refrain from telling them about how I felt when Blaine and I kissed. I know they would tie that to their stupid theory. I don't understand what I felt, and I am confused with the argument with my boyfriend, but now suddenly my friends tell me they've always thought Blaine and I looked cute together? What is going on.

"You said Blaine doesn't like Gabe right? Despite everything?" Rachel ask.

"Yeah, so?" I say, not sure where she's going with this.

"Well has it ever occurred to you that maybe he's- well, he's jealous?"

"Of what? Me and Gabe?"

"Of Gabe. Jealous that Gabe is dating you."

"No, Rachel! Did you all take something this morning because it sure as hell seems like it."

"It's just an observation Kurt-"

"More like a factually observation if you ask me. Come on, don't tell me you've never thought of hobbit that way?" Santana says.

Truthfully, I have never. Blaine has always been my bestfriend. I've never saw him as anything more than just that boy who makes me smile and knows my favourite movies. The kind of friend you run to for solace and comfort. I've never seen him as the guy I would date because - one, he sleeps around a lot. Two, well he's Blaine. My bestfriend Blaine. It's too weird to think of him that way.

"I have never," I tell them.

"Well then maybe you should consider it," Rachel shrugs.

"He's my bestfriend-"

"You know, Quinn and I are friends yet we wound out sleeping together at Mr Schue's wedding. You're both horny gay boys. Don't tell me you've never even once slept together-"

"No Santana!"

"Watch every single movie there is- bestfriends always wound up falling for each other."

"You and Rachel are friends. How come you've never slept with her-"

"Get real. I have standards, Hummel," Santana says.

"This is crazy," I tell them.

"Maybe we're wrong, maybe you and Blaine aren't fit for each other, maybe you do belong with Gabe. But let me ask you this, who is the one stable guy in your life that has been there come hell or high water- that has always been there for, and with you?"

I refuse to answer as I consider this. Blaine? No. Blaine and I can't be fit for each other. Their theory has to be wrong. Like I've told myself countless of times- Blaine is my best friend. Nothing more to that title. He has only one title in my life and that is my bestfriend. It can't be. I belong with Gabe- Gabe that knew my heart before we even got to know each other. Who knew to bring me macaroons on Valentines without knowing it's my favourite thing in the world. Who knew to take to to the Empire State and re-enact Sleepless in Seattle. It can't be Blaine, because Gabe has been perfect since the start.

"I need to take a shower," I tell them as I excuse myself to the bathroom.

No, I refuse to think of Blaine that way. I refuse to think of him as the guy that has always been there. A part of me is scared I might realize that, but the other part wins because Gabe is my boyfriend. Gabe is my lover. He is the one, not my bestfriend.

-------

"I've missed NYADA!" Rachel exclaims as she follows me into school on Monday morning.

"And I'm sure it has missed you-"

"Oh my god!" I hear a familiar voice shrill. Ginger and a few of her girl friends are running towards, not me, but Rachel.

"You're Rachel Berry! Oh my god everyone is Rachel Berry!" Ginger yells and soon a crowd of students have circled around us.

"You're like a legend in NYADA. First freshman ever to win the Winter Showcase. That number you did- Being Good Isn't Good Enough was amazing I have that in my iPod!"

"Wow," Rachel says, overwhelmed by the admiration.

"I went to the Funny Girl show when you played Fanny Brice it was simply spectacular! One of the most memorable nights of my life! Nobody could have played a better Barbra,I swear!"

Rachel had won her callback audition back in her freshman year when she played Fanny Brice in the revival of Funny Girl on Broadway. It was the first, and only show he had done before completing her years in NYADA and moving to California shortly after.

"Thank you so much," Rachel smiles. I know that look. She is flattered to the point of being verbally impaired.

"We all aspire to be like you!" Ginger says.

"Catch a breath, Ginger. Give the woman some space," I joke.

"Oh I'm sorry!" apparently Ginger didn't not pick up my humor. Nobody does actually- except maybe one person, or two.

"So what are you doing here? Teaching a seminar for us? Oh my god if you are I'm signing up-"

"Oh. No, no," Rachel says loudly as the murmurs of excitement starts. "I'm just here dropping my friend, Kurt, off. Thought I'd come to see the school again," Rachel tells to her adoring fans. I fear Ginger's eyes might fall out. It was like me when I saw Taylor Lautner from afar at the final leg of Twilight premier about a year ago.

"Well can I have a picture with you then?" Ginger ask, prompting her camera phone.

"Of course," Rachel says, a little unsure of himself.

"Here, Kurt, could you help me?" Ginger says to me and I feel a knife puncture my ribs. That definitely was a boost to my self-esteem.

I click the snap button and it captures Ginger and Rachel on fine light.

"Thank you," Ginger says to me. "I finally get to meet The Rachel Berry! Half my life is complete! I'm so gonna tweet this," Ginger says as she dashes off to class.

"It's good to be back where my talents are recognized and appreciated," Rachel says as we continue down the hall.

"You are a legend here," I tell her matter of factly. "Gabe tells me the staff talks a lot about about you."

"The staff? You mean- Cassandra?"

"Who knows. Maybe she's a closet Rachel Berry fan."

"I doubt it, though I think I found some closure before I left. It feels so good to be back here! Back to the place I worked so hard to get in, now it's just a memory."

"Do you miss it?" I ask.

"NYADA? Yeah-"

"Broadway, Rachel."

"Everyday," she admits and I sense her sorrow.

"So why don't you come back? To New York. The Broadway industry probably has heard of The Rachel Berry. I'm sure people would line up to get you if they know you were moving back into town."

"Kurt, you know that won't happen-"

"Why?" I press on. "Because of Finn? Because he wants to be some weirdo creepy teacher at some elementary school-"

"California High School, and yes. It's his dream, and he wants me there-"

"But what about your dreams, Rachel? As much as Bernie and Rice sound promising, acting has never been your dream. Being on Broadway is," I tell her and she doesn't look at me.

"Finn is the love of my life, okay? He supported me when I needed him to, now it's my turn-"

"But it's not fair that you should give up what you've always dreamt of doing!" I snap some sense into her. I have always been against her moving to LA. "Remember your dream of winning a Tony, and how you want to be wearing a white gown, with a diamond encrusted shawl designed by me?"

Rachel smiles at the recollection of the two of us at the slumber party after our high school graduation and how we talked about our dreams- that was hers.

"Don't compromise your dreams for love, Rachel. Love should compromise for your dreams."

I see a tear well up at the corner of her eyes, but she wiped it away before it falls to the ground. I know she knows I'm right, that Bernie and Rice is not her dream. New York is. Broadway is. I just hope I got through to knock some sense into her.

"Thanks Kurt," she says quietly. "But Finn means the world to me, and if compromising my dreams means making sure he is happy with his, then that makes me happy too."

I don't know what else I can do to convince Rachel that moving back to New York is what she needs to do. Though I should understand that she wants to keep the love of her life happy.

"I better go. I want to see if I can stop by Blaine's office since I'm leaving tomorrow. I'll see you later, okay? Have a great day," she pecks me on my cheek and walks back down the hallway out of NYADA.

--------

I enter the lecture hall, feeling all jittery and antsy. I see my boyfriend, Gabe, at the podium up front already. Nobody else has arrived. Maybe I can take this opportunity to talk to him.

He hears my footsteps and turns to catch sight of me. I can't read his eyes or gauge his facial expression, but there is a smile on his face- a small one- though I don't know if it's genuine.

"I thought being punctual is your thing? Not early, not late. Punctual."

"Should I leave then?"

"It's up to you," he says. "You can leave if you want." I hear the more profound meaning behind it and I sigh tiredly.

"Gabe," I breathe and I walk forward, right in front of him. No more confusion. This is the man I love- I choose to believe that. "I love you. I've told you that."

"I know-"

"I hear a but coming."

"It's just," he sighs and rubs his forehead with his hands. His hair swept back, he looks so good. "I don't know Kurt. Maybe it's the way Blaine is with you, protective and shit. It just makes me wonder if he does have feelings for you."

"He doesn't," I tell Gabe, though the feelings I had when Blaine and I kissed come back to haunt my brain. I will not say aloud that feeling because I still don't understand it. "I love you, Gabe. Please believe me," I say to him.

"How will I know you and Blaine don't have-"

"Don't you trust me?"

"Of course I do-"

"Then why are you worried about it?"

"Because, Kurt," Gabe says. "I can't compete with history."

"You have nothing to compete with!"

He sighs and falls to the edge of his desk. He genuinely looks scared and frustrated- at what? Losing me? I've heard my friends' theories, but that couldn't be. Blaine and I can't have feelings for each other- we've been friends forever. It feels almost impossible to ever think of him that way

"What will make you feel more secure about is?" I sigh and walk forward towards him.

"Honestly?" he says.

"Yeah."

"If you stopped hanging with Blaine."

I look at him as thought he few three heads. He stared back at me and his face falls. He sighs tiredly and rubs his eyes. I notice they are red rimmed. Why?

"But I'm not going to ask you to do that," Gabe says. "He's your bestfriend after all and I don't want to be that kind of boyfriend that stops you from hanging out with your friends."

"But if it'll make you feel secure-"

"It can lead to you resenting me too," he interrupts. "So no, I'm not going to do that."

"So how do we move on from this?" I ask cautiously, looking into those emerald eyes of his.

"I guess- I guess I just have to trust you."

I feel relieved. Somehow I was sure the two words- break up- might slip out of his mouth. I lean forward and cup his chin, his stubble sharp on my fingers, and kiss him lightly. He responds lazily to my lips.

"You have morning to be afraid of. We made a promise, right? To not let Blaine come in between us."

He looks at me unconvincingly. "Some promises are inevitable to be broken," he mutters, and I want to counter but he covers my lips with his.

"I just love you, Kurt- and I hope you love me back."

"I do," I mumble as he drowns my words with his lips- almost like he doesn't want me to say it.

We hear the door open and Gabe pulls away from me slightly, though not in such a way that he's afraid we might get caught. This is legal, afterall.

"Class is starting," he breathes and he strikes my cheek, his eyes fixated on my lips.

"I'll see you later?"

"Yeah," he breathes, but I still see his fear in those eyes, and though I've tried my best to make my words sound concrete- subconsciously I don't believe in myself.

I walk up back to my seat, avoiding the stares from students who had walked in on is and prepare for lesson. My lecture looks at me and smiles halved.

---------

Class ends shortly after, with Gabe telling the class that this is our last week of this course and that the final assesment examination would be on Friday. I'm not that nervous, considering I've learned a lot just being with Gabe, him telling me a lot of facts about ballet, plus my own self studying.

I emerge out of the lecture hall and am about to make my way to Cassandra's dungeon of torture, otherwise known as the dance studio, when I stop at a corner because I hear the mention of my name in a hushed discussion.

"Kurt obviously knows he's gonna flunk, hence why he's bent over the desk for mister Parker, if you know what I mean," a boy whispers to God knows who.

"Tell me about it. He's such a slut," I recognize that voice. It's Ginger.

"Mister Parker too though. Do you think he's in on the whole thing? Trading good grades for sex?" I hear them snickering, at least three people huddling together to bitch- about me.

"I mean, if he was going to trade good grades for sex, you'd think he'd find someone better looking. He looks so hot and delicious, it makes me laugh when I think about how he's with Kurt-"

"Let it go, Ginger. He's gay- he won't trade good grades for sex with you."

"A girl can dream, can't she?"

"So what should we do? Should we go to Carmen? The Dean? It feels unfair-"

"We can't. Student, teacher relationships in NYADA are simply frowned upon, not prohibited," Ginger says.

"So we're just gonna stand by and let him suck his way to the top?'

"We know he didn't make it without some help- that's satisfaction enough for me."

"He's so ugly though, to be with Mister Parker."

"That has no relevance."

"I know. Just thought I'd point that out anyway," Ginger says and they all snicker obnoxiously.

I feel myself go into rage mode. I emerge from the corner and they are all horrified by the sight of me, Ginger especially. "Not that I need to justify anything to you guys, but I'm not sleeping with Gabe- yes, Gabe, not Mister Parker, because he's my boyfriend- for grades. I'm not whore, like you Ginger wearing those short skirts of yours wanting guys to notice you. Hard as it might to believe, I am actually smarter than all of you here combined, so I guess I understand why you guys are jealous. But for future safety, I really prefer that you would say what you want to say to my face, and not huddle like The Breakfast Club and bitch about me, 'kay?"

I stalk off, trying to keep my head held high but I feel myself tearing inside.

Once I am far from their sight, I run to the NYADA garden behind the school and slide onto the bench in front of the small koi pond. I cannot contain myself, and soon I feel a flow of tears falling from my eyes as those horrible words from Ginger and her coven of witches and warlocks haunt back to me. I don't normally let bullies get to me, but I am human and I have feelings.

I contemplate telling Gabe, running to his office and telling him but it might be too personal. What if he addresses the issue in class? I don't want to ruin his credibility as a lecturer by making him protect my dignity. I sigh and pull my phone out. Instinctively, and a little familiarly, I scroll to Blaine's name and call him.

It rings longer than usual, until his goofy voice comes from the speaker. "Hey Kurt," he says. I try to suppress my sobs but I fail and Blaine hears me. "Kurt? Are you okay? What's wrong?" he ask, concern riddled in his speech.

I don't answer, because my sobs muffles my words.

"Okay, I'm coming. Where are you? Forget it I'll just GPS locate you. I'll be there in ten minutes-"

"No," I manage. "No, don't," I tell him.

"It's okay I'm not busy-"

"No, really Blaine. It's okay."

"Then tell me what's wrong," he says sternly and I know he's worried.

I sigh. Though all the things pertaining Blaine that I've gone through this weekend, he is my bestfriend- my solace, my safe place. I go to him for advise on every problem I face, or simply when I feel down about something. That's not going to change, because in spite of Gabe's assumptions and suspicious and accusations, and Rachel's theory about us, he is my best friend. He always has been, and always will be.

"I just heard some assholes bitch about me. They said I'm sleeping with Gabe to get good grades," I tell him.

"Who?" Blaine ask.

"Just some of the people in the same lecture," I tell him, still trying to control my sobs.

"Awe c'mon, Kurt. Don't listen to them. You know you and Gabe aren't just boning so you can get a leg up in class. Why listen to stupid gossip when you know what's real?"

"Because I hate when people assume the worst just because it's convenient for them to."

"Don't be upset, okay?" Blaine says comfortingly. "Just let gossip run. You know you're doing well because you're a genius. Screw everyone else."

I know he's right, but I've never had that bad of an insult said about me. In high school, it was mostly about me being gay but now that people are saying I'm a whore who sleeps with the teacher for grades? Damn, that stings.

"I guess you're right," I sigh.

"Of course I'm right. I'm always right," Blaine says cockily, making me smile. "Are you sure you're okay? Because if you're not, I can do an ice cream comfort run."

"I'm sure," I tell.

"Good," Blaine says.

"How have you been? I haven't heard from you all weekend." My kiss with Blaine pops back into my brain, and I feel nervous suddenly, talking to him.

"Sorry. I've just been busy," Blaine tells.

"That's secretive," I say.

"Nothing to hide, babe. I was busy with work all weekend. With Cooper's termination, I have to settle most of the things he was suppose to."

"That sucks," I say.

"Yeah, but a small price to pay for not having Cooper here to embarrass me anymore."

"Have you heard anything from him?" I ask.

"Nope. Last I heard he tried to see Denise at my parent's town house but my dad refuse to let him in and asked security to escort him out."

"That's harsh," I say.

"Yeah, but Denise says she's not ready to see Cooper yet. Understandable considering what he's done."

"Yeah, I guess. But still- refusing him to see his daughter is pretty- I don't know, mean on a whole new level."

"It's all up to Denise," Blaine tells.

"And your dad? How is he with his cancer?" I ask cautiously because I know Blaine is still finding it hard to grasp the fact that his dad is ill with terminal cancer.

"No updates yet- from him, at least. I don't know. He doesn't want me to ask anything."

"I sincerely hope everything works out with the new treatment," I tell.

"Yeah, me too," Blaine says. I know he's worried out of his mind for his father. I would be too. In fact, my own father hada cancer scare a few years back. I can relate to his situation, though my dad was at stage 1. "So how are you and Gabe?" Blaine ask, and I hear his caution.

"Okay," I say, refraining from telling him about the fight Gabe and I had because of him. How awkward of a conversation would that be. Though why would it be awkward? I know Blaine and I are just friends. I stand in the confusion ground, once again. "We're doing well, I guess."

"What was with the 'I guess'?" Blaine ask.

"Nothing, forget it," I tell and he's smart enough not to press on. "Listen, I gotta get back to class. Can I call you later?"

"You can always call me, Kurt. Since when do you ask."

"Oh, right. Sorry," I say. "I'll see you soon-."

"Kurt," Blaine says and I pause. There is a hanging silence for awhile, as if he wants to bring something up but he doesn't. "Don't let those bullies get to you, okay?"

"I won't," I say.

"Because of they do, seriously just tell me and I'll have Marcus do a background check on each on of them. See if we can put them in jail for something-"

"I'm not a fan of your creep dark abilities to get private info on people, Blaine."

"Even when it benefits you?"

"Especially," I say. "See you soon. Miss you."

"Miss you more," Blaine says before we hang up.