Blaine is humming.

He doesnt even realize it when hes tying his bowtie in front of the bathroom mirror, trying to make sure that both sides of the tie are even in size and that the small golden pattern doesnt look slanted. He strokes his hands over the tie one last time and then reaches for his hair gel, shaking his hips to the melody of some new pop song that has been stuck in his head ever since he heard it on the radio at the community center the other day, and--

He stops suddenly, and the melody stops as well.

He was humming. Actually humming; something he cant remember doing for a long time, not unless he was rehearsing a song for one of his sessions and needed to hear at least something that resembled a voice. Humming used to feel just as awkward as flat-out singing, his throat going tight and the sound echoing uncomfortably around his empty apartment, the words Connor had yelled at him that night rising back to the surface and clogging his voice.

But here he is, standing in his tiny bathroom, unconsciously humming a tune, his body instinctively trying to move in time with the sound. Before he noticed what he was doing he was probably even this close to opening his mouth and actually singing the words out loud.

Blaine looks up, slowly meeting his own eyes in the mirror, searching for... something. He doesnt look that different -- still the same clothes, still the same wild hair unless he gels it down, still the same lines in the corners of his eyes when he squints -- but obviously there is something different about him. Perhaps he looks a bit more content, a bit more at ease. A little happier and somewhat steadier. Hes changing, unconsciously and without even keeping track of it himself, a stark contrast to what he did after his break-up with Connor when he deliberately pushed everything away, made radical changes just to feel like he could breathe again.

Blaine squeezes a little bit of hair gel on his palm and carefully flattens the most stubborn curls, fingering his hair until it looks good in his own eyes. Relaxed, but still restrained. He washes his hands, still staring at his own reflection, watching the barely noticeable way his chest moves as he breathes in and out. Somewhere outside the bathroom Kurt is walking around the apartment as he picks out his own clothes for their night out, his footsteps echoing in the small space, a background noise for Blaines thoughts, giving them a rhythm and a pulse.

Blaine doesnt know why or how, but somehow it almost feels like hes finally moving on.

Kurts footsteps come closer, and then theres a sharp knock on the bathroom door.

"Blaine? Are you finished in there?" A pause. "Im... Im kind of in the middle of a crisis."

Blaine frowns and reaches for the towel to dry his hands. "A crisis?" he calls out. "Are you okay?"

"Yes?" Kurt calls back, his voice hesitant. "Or... no? Im not..."

Blaine can feel his own frown deepening, and he grabs the handle, pushing the bathroom door open.

Kurt is standing in the hallway, still in the comfortable clothes he was wearing earlier. The t-shirt he has on is actually one of the clothes Blaine leant him during one of his first days in New York, and it stretches tightly over Kurts broader chest, just a tiny bit too small on him. Blaine swallows roughly, the sight making something odd and warm pool in his stomach, and snaps his eyes quickly back to Kurts face.

"Um, Kurt..." he starts cautiously, "why arent you wearing the clothes you picked out from that store yesterday? I thought you said you wanted to wear them tonight." He pauses, taking in Kurts slumped shoulders. "Or do you not want to go? Because I can call Tina and--"

"I want to go," Kurt interrupts, meeting Blaines eyes. "Its just... My hair."

Blaine looks at Kurts hair, drooping sadly over his forehead, almost in a way that reminds Blaine of the rainy night when they first met. Its not styled in any way but still somehow manages to look absolutely adorable. "What about your hair?" he asks, tilting his head in confusion.

"Its not doing what its supposed to do!" Kurt exclaims helplessly, gesturing at the top of his head. "Its not going up like it normally does when I just run my fingers through it, it just stays like this, all depressing and limp, and I--"

"Wait, hold on." Blaine blinks and lifts his hand to stop Kurts tirade. "Are you saying that you dont normally use any product in your hair? That it just... looks the way it does naturally?"

"Yes?" Kurt hands fall back down, his shoulders slumping even further, a strand of hair falling over his eyes. "Its how things work in Kingleysia," he goes on. "I just brush my fingers through my hair and thats it." He rolls his eyes, puffing out a breath. "I guess its all part of the magical environment or something..."

Blaine gapes at him. "A magical environment that gives you perfect hair? Can I move there?"

Kurt scrunches his nose. "But your hair is already so nice."

"Its really not." Blaine automatically touches the wild curls he has barely managed to tame down. "But thank you."

Kurts mouth twitches with a smile before he runs his own hand through his hair, still drooping sadly. "I cant go out looking like this, Blaine. And I-- I dont understand why my hair is suddenly acting like this? Its been fine before, even though Im not in Kingleysia anymore, but now..." He looks away, something that looks a bit like worry flashing across his face.

"Oh, but you havent heard about the wonders of hairspray yet," Blaine replies, grinning when Kurt looks back at him in confusion. "Come on, well get that coif of yours styled in no time."

He shows Kurt all the possible products he can use on his hair and then leaves him in the bathroom to style his look in peace. Its already dark outside, the city lights shining brightly through the living room window, and Blaine walks over to pull the curtains closed and to make sure the window to the fire escape is locked. He smiles to himself when he sees Kurts clothes neatly stacked on the couch, his hand hovering above them for a moment before he shakes his head to clear the mess in his mind and moves to the kitchen to grab a glass of water.

He scrolls through his phone as he drinks, quickly scanning a few new e-mails he has and checking the address and the name of the nightclub Mike had chosen for tonight from his text messages. He is just answering a new message from Tina when he hears the bathroom door open and the smell of hairspray and other various hair products floods the apartment.

"Well, how do I look?"

Blaine looks up and feels his heart stutter inside his chest. Kurt is standing in the middle of the living room, arms spread out, a hopeful smile on his lips. His hair is styled even higher than usual, bringing out the sharpness of his cheekbones and shape of his eyes, but still somehow looking natural and soft, as if magic really is holding all the strands in place. Kurt apparently took his chosen outfit to the bathroom as well, because instead of the t-shirt and sweatpants he is now wearing skin-tight black jeans and a long-sleeved shirt with a small pattern of dark swirls on it.

The jeans are sinfully tight, hugging every inch and curve of Kurts legs and making them look even longer, and Blaine doesnt understand why the sight is suddenly making his throat feel dry. He has seen Kurt in jeans like that before -- okay, he hasnt seen him in jeans quite that tight, but the tights he was wearing when he first arrived in New York were pretty tight as well -- and, yeah, Kurt is a good-looking man who could wear practically anything and still look like the love child of a runway model and a Disney prince. But this-

Somehow this sight is making Blaine swallow roughly against the dryness in his throat, something warm spreading through his body as he looks Kurt up and down. And its not just the jeans, its not just the way Kurt looks and the way the shirt collar is open and reveals his pale neck; its the way he is standing, how he carries himself, the way he looks at Blaine and seems so excited about the prospect of going to a nightclub. If Blaine let himself think, if he allowed himself to recognize these feelings, he would know immediately what they are. But he cant do that.

"You look... Wow," he manages to breathe out after a long moment.

Kurt blushes, his smile softening. "Thank you. Am I nightclub appropriate?"

"You--" Blaine shakes his head, placing his phone on the kitchen counter, the conversation with Tina forgotten. "You look amazing, Kurt. You are definitely nightclub appropriate."

Kurts smile widens, his teeth showing the way they do whenever hes genuinely excited. "Youre looking quite dashing yourself," he replies. "I like what you did with your hair. It looks... different. More relaxed."

Blaine instinctively reaches to touch his curls, feeling a blush of his own heating his cheeks. When he looks up his eyes focus on the front of Kurts shirt, or more specifically, on whats not there.

"Youre not taking your brooch?" he asks, surprised. He has never seen Kurt without it, unless he was sleeping, and even then the brooch is always on the sofa table within reach. The brooch is a constant, always pinned to Kurts shirt, no matter what hes wearing or where hes going. It looks odd to see him without it, as if something is missing from his ensemble.

"Oh." Kurt pulls the brooch out of his pocket, turning it over in his hand. "I dont know if I should?. I dont want to lose it in a new place with so many new people, but on the other hand..." He frowns, closing his fingers around the brooch.

"Youve never been afraid of losing it before," Blaine points out, searching Kurts face. Hes obviously conflicted, though Blaine doesnt really understand why Kurt would want to leave the brooch at home in the first place. Hes always worn it automatically before, switching it from shirt to shirt and straightening it in front of the hall mirror every time they leave the apartment, Blaine following the movements of Kurts long fingers from the doorway as he waits for him.

Kurt looks up, finding Blaines eyes. Theres something in his blue eyes, some unknown twist or turn in the galaxies Blaine noticed that first night that he cant read this time, almost as if Kurt is assessing Blaine, looking for something Blaine is not so sure he can provide. He blinks against Kurts stare, raising his eyebrows and trying to keep his facial expression neutral.

After a moment Kurt nods, brows furrowing in determination. "I think Ill leave it home this time," he says slowly, moving his eyes away from Blaine. "One evening completely free from my princely duties," he jokes and flashes a grin.

Blaine watches as Kurt walks to the couch, carefully placing the brooch on top of his folded clothes. Blaines heart feels both light and heavy at the same time, full of something he cant quite grasp. Does Kurt really think of Blaines apartment as his home? Does he really walk through the door and feel like hes coming home, even though theres nothing here except the sofa bed and the creaking pipes in the bathroom, the fire escape and Blaine himself? Kurt is obviously comfortable in the space, in the whole city, or at least a lot more comfortable than he was during the first days, but its... It took so long for Blaine himself to feel like home in New York, in this apartment even. Sometimes he still doesnt quite feel like it, even though these days it feels easier and easier to breathe and call this space his own.

Kurts comment was probably just a figure of speech, a mindless slip of the tongue, but it still makes Blaine swallow against his dry throat again.

Kurts fingertips linger over the brooch for a moment, but then he straightens his back and turns to look at Blaine, his smile somehow even brighter than it was before. "So. Are we ready?" he asks, holding out his hand for Blaine.

Blaine breathes out and lets his own mouth turn into a smile. He cant not, not when Kurt is looking at him like that. "I think we are."

He doesnt even hesitate when he takes Kurts hand.

---

The nightclub is loud and pulsing around them when they step inside, and Kurt halts right on the edge of the room, looking around with wide eyes. The dance floor is already full of people, bodies moving in an uneven rhythm and grinding against each other, the strobe lights flashing above them. The air smells like sweat and alcohol and a mix of different perfumes and aftershaves, and Blaine can only guess how overwhelming it must be like for Kurt to step from the cool night air into this -- into something Kingleysia probably doesnt have, at least not in this caliber.

The loud bass of the music is making Blaines chest feel like its vibrating, like his muscles are thrumming with something new, and he touches Kurts shoulder carefully, startling him.

"You okay?" he asks over the music.

"Yeah!" Kurt yells back and leans closer to Blaine, a whiff of his hairspray and the unique scent of his skin reaching Blaines nose. "Its just so loud! Is it always this loud in a nightclub?"

Blaine laughs, moving closer as well. Something about the darkness of the room is making him want to be as close to Kurt as possible, his heart thumping loudly inside his chest, almost matching the beat of the music. "Pretty much," he answers, rolling his eyes. "Unless you come here on a Monday or something, I suppose, but--"

Someone runs towards them from the dance floor, the flashing lights concealing their face, and then there are suddenly arms around Blaines neck. Before he has a chance to react Tina is screaming in his ear, making him stumble back with the force of her hug.

"You made it!" she yells, finally letting go of him and moving to give Kurt a hug thats just as enthusiastic. Kurt meets Blaines eyes over her head, his expression startled, and Blaine laughs. "Come on, Mike said he would buy the first round for you! Isnt that great?" Tina exclaims once she lets go of Kurt. Her smile has that slightly crazy edge in it that Blaine is very familiar with.

"I think youve already had a few rounds, Tina," he replies, sharing a look with Kurt.

Tina slaps his arm before she starts leading them towards the bar. "Ive had a very stressful week at work, okay? I deserve to unwind," she calls over her shoulder.

Blaine laughs and glances back at Kurt. Kurt is following them, but his eyes are still glued to the dance floor, curious and appraising. The song changes to something with an even faster beat, and Kurt turns to look back at Blaine, grinning a bit hesitantly.

"The music is quite different from what Ive heard before," he says, leaning right into Blaines personal space again, his lips close to Blaines ear, his breath tickling Blaines cheek. "And theyre all dancing very close to each other."

A group of women brushes past them, a few of them stumbling with their steps, and the movement pushes Kurt even closer, their arms bumping. Blaine automatically reaches out to steady Kurt, his hands ending up on his waist. The touch sends shivers up his arms, his whole body feeling warm all of a sudden, and Kurt looks up, staring into Blaines eyes with something unreadable in his own gaze.

Why does something about Kurt feel so new all of a sudden?

"Its-- Its just the way people dance here," Blaine stutters out, slowly letting go of Kurt but still not stepping away. There are people all around him and the music is loud, so its only practical that he stays so close to him.

"Oh." Kurt blinks. He doesnt look away from Blaine, and god, it feels like Blaine is stripped completely bare in front of him, like Kurt can see everything, every feeling he has ever pushed away and every conflict hes fighting. "That sounds... intriguing. I cant wait to try it out," Kurt says, flashing a mischievous grin.

He even winks at Blaine, and Blaine freezes.

"Come on, what are you having?" Tina yells from the bar, Mike laughing behind her. "I want to go dance with my almost-husband!"

Kurt smiles at Blaine and steps away from him, leaving him standing alone for a moment as his brain catches up with what just happened.

Was Kurt just... flirting with him?

Thats-- They are friends, they are close; incredibly so, considering how they havent even known each other for that long. Every time they talk Blaine feels like Kurt understands him in some way no one else does, in a way he has always hoped someone would understand him. He has even been having more fun lately, with showing Kurt around the city and just having someone to talk to during breakfast and dinner every day. Blaine is a people person, always has been, and he hadnt really realized how much he had missed having someone in his space, someone who makes him laugh and smile, someone who will watch bad reality television with him -- Kurt has very quickly developed an obsession for Project Runway and Jersey Shore, so quickly, actually, that it sometimes baffles Blaine.

He has missed having someone who just is there.

But being there has never before involved flirting, not unless normal kindness and friendship can be seen as flirting. Now, though; the way Kurt grinned and winked... It was obviously flirting. It hasnt been so long that Blaine wouldnt recognize it.

Except. Except why would Kurt be flirting with him?

Blaine shakes his head and turns around, taking the last few steps to the bar, sidestepping a few dancing people. He joins his friends just in time to hear Kurt explaining to Mike that he doesnt want to drink anything too strong because of "an unfortunate incident in my youth".

"Oh my god, what did you do?" Tina asks, leaning against Mikes shoulder and staring at Kurt with wide eyes. "You didnt, like, throw up on anyone or anything?"

Kurt grimaces and averts his gaze.

"Oh my god!" Tina screams, reaching over to slap Kurts arm. "Oh my god, you did throw up on someone!"

"Honestly?" Mike asks, brows furrowed. He pulls Tina back to his side before she slaps Kurt again and signals to the bartender with his other hand. "You drank so much that you threw up on somebody?"

Kurt sighs, looking up at the ceiling. "My brother and I wanted to see what would happen if we drank as much beer as we could handle. One of his idiot friends came up with the idea, and as you can imagine, it didnt end well. I have tried to avoid stronger drinks or drinking too much ever since."

Blaine leans closer, smiling at the story. "So who did you throw up on?"

Kurt startles, obviously not expecting Blaine to be so close, but he recovers quickly, an embarrassed blush spreading over his cheeks. His skin is so pale that the blush is visible even in the clubs dim lighting.

"My tutor. I mean, one of my teachers," he admits, not meeting anyones eyes. "Her shoes didnt survive it."

Tina bursts into laughter, resting most of her weight against the bar and cackling so loudly that a few people close to them turn to look. Mike looks like hes trying his best to keep a straight face, but the corners of his mouth are twitching tellingly. Blaine pats Kurts shoulder in consolation.

"Dont worry, Tina is a very loud drunk," he points out quietly, making Kurt look a little less embarrassed.

"Oh my god," Tina wheezes, pushing herself upright as she tries to stop laughing. "That sounds so embarrassing, god. I hope you werent suspended or anything?"

Kurt sighs. "No, I just got a very stern talking-to and was grounded for two weeks. My brother got the same punishment, but it was worse for him because he had just met his true lo--" Kurt seems to catch himself in time and shakes his head. "I mean, he had just met his girlfriend and wouldve wanted to spend time with her. Obviously."

Tinas smile turns smaller, more private, and he leans against Mike, trailing her hand down his arm. "Yeah, I can understand how annoying that couldve been."

Blaine looks away and tries to ignore the familiar twinge in his heart at the casual display of their love. They seem so happy, like their own comfortable unit, and he is happy for them, of course he is -- Tina and Mike are his friends, and its wonderful that they have found each other -- but he cant help but... ache a little whenever he sees them together like this. Because he doesnt know if he himself will ever have that.

"Alright, so nothing too strong for Kurt," Mike says with a grin and then looks at Blaine. "Are you having your usual?"

"Yeah, sure," Blaine replies absent-mindedly. "I dont want to get too drunk tonight."

The bartender finally makes her way over to them, and Mike turns around to place their order.

"Blaine," Tina says and points at him in a way that would make Cooper proud, even if her aim is a bit wobbly. "Were here to help you get over he-who-shall-not-be-named. Thats the whole idea. So you need to be drunk."

Blaine rolls his eyes. "Im over Nathan, Tina, thank you very much."

Tina pouts, but then turns around as well, saying something to Mike as he waits for their drinks. Kurt leans against the bar, the position making his shirt shift in a way that shows even more of his neck and chest, and Blaine looks away, feeling suddenly guilty for ogling Kurt.

"Are you really over him?" Kurt asks, keeping his voice as low as possible to still be heard over the music. He is searching Blaines face, that unknown glint in his eyes again. Or maybe its just the reflection of the strobe lights.

Blaine glances towards the dance floor. Connor used to love clubs like this, loud and impersonal; he loved them a lot more than the intimate karaoke or piano bars Blaine himself prefers. "I am", he replies. "Why do you ask?"

Kurt shrugs and doesnt answer his question. "You have seemed less tense lately," he says instead. "Youll find your true love one day, Blaine. Someone like you will definitely find it."

Blaine startles, and he can feel the old walls pushing up again, something that hasnt happened around Kurt for weeks. He opens his mouth to give his usual retort about not believing in true love, about it only hurting you in the end, but suddenly Tina steps into their circle, two drinks in hand.

"Here you go," she trills, handing one of them to Kurt and the other one to Blaine. Mike joins them with Tinas drink and nothing for himself - Blaine knows that Mike comes to nightclubs for the dancing, not for the alcohol. "Alright, we need to toast to something," Tina goes on and raises her own glass. "To... To new opportunities!"

Kurt obediently repeats the words and tastes his own drink, looking pleasantly surprised by its taste. Blaine stares at Tina, raising his eyebrows in question. Tina only smirks at him over the rim of her own glass.

"Tina..." Blaine starts. He suddenly has a bad feeling about this night.

The song changes to a remix of some old hit, and Tinas smirk quickly morphs into an excited grin.

"Oh, I love this song!" She downs her drink in one go, Kurts eyes widening at the gesture, and then slams her glass on the bar. "Come on, lets go dance!"

But instead of Mike, she reaches for Kurt.

"I-- I thought you wanted to dance with your almost-husband?" Kurt says warily, glancing to Blaine.

Tina shrugs, her eyes flitting to Blaine as well, before she looks back at Kurt. "Mike can wait. Its your first night out in New York with us, so I want to dance with you."

Kurt opens his mouth to say something, but before any of them have a chance to react, Tina is already taking his drink from him, thrusting it into Blaines hands and pulling him towards the dance floor. Kurt follows her, his eyes still wide in surprise, and he looks at Blaine over his shoulder all the way to the floor, something in his eyes searching and contemplative.

Blaine frowns. He feels almost jealous, for some odd reason. Its ridiculous -- Kurt and Tina are both his friends, of course they can dance together, even if Tina is obviously plotting something. The odd feeling passes soon, though, as he watches Kurt awkwardly try to follow Tinas dance moves and laughing at something Tina says to him. He can only see glimpses of them between the other bodies moving to the beat and the flashes of the strobe lights, but Kurt seems to be smiling and having a good time, despite the initial surprise, and Blaine can feel his own mouth turning into a smile as well, his shoulders relaxing.

Its hard not to smile when Kurt looks so happy.

Mike shifts closer to Blaine after a moment. "I hope you know that shes going to interrogate him."

Blaine looks away from Kurt and squints at Mike. "What do you mean, ‘interrogate him?"

Mike stares at him, his eyebrows going up in surprise. "Oh my god. You dont even realize it, do you?"

"Mike, youre starting to develop the same habit as Tina in talking in a way no one can understand," Blaine sighs, placing his and Kurts drinks on the bar so he can keep an eye on them. "Dont realize what?"

Mike opens his mouth to respond, but before he has the chance to go any further Blaines phone buzzes in his pocket. He fishes it out, frowning down at the new text he has.

From Tina:
hes seen u without gel??? even I havvent seen u wihout gel

"What..." He looks up, searching the dance floor. "Is she seriously dancing and texting me at the same time?"

Mike looks over at his incredulous tone of voice, reading the text over his shoulder. "Youd be surprised to know what else she can do while texting someone at the same time," he comments dryly.

Blaine wrinkles his nose, just as his phone buzzes again.

From Tina:
hes a rly good dancer blaine!!!

"Oh my god," Blaine groans. "What is she doing? Why is she doing this?"

His relaxing night out is turning into something confusing, something he feels like he has no control over, with Kurt flirting with him and Tina doing god knows what for whatever purpose she has in mind. Everything is so confusing, and Blaine doesnt know whats going on, doesnt know if hes even ready for whatever might be going on. He pushes his phone back in his pocket, ignoring the third buzzing noise that comes from it, and grabs his drink, taking a long swig from it.

He doesnt know what hes doing. He has no idea what Kurt is doing. He just-

"Can you watch our drinks?" he asks, placing his own half-empty glass on the bar next to Mikes elbow.

Mike nods, a curious look in his eyes, and Blaine pushes himself away from bar. As soon as he reaches the dance floor the temperature of the room seems to skyrocket, sweaty bodies pushing against him and bright lights dancing in his eyes. He looks around, trying to see the familiar pattern of Kurts shirt or the bright red dress Tina is wearing tonight, but there are too many people moving in too many rhythms and in too many directions, his head feeling dizzy with it all. He shouldnt have drunk half of his drink as fast as he did -- he has always been a bit of a lightweight, especially if he drinks too fast.

The music is loud and pounding, and Blaine pushes through the crowd, looking in every direction and murmuring apologies as he goes even though no one seems to care. He cant see Kurt anywhere. He doesnt even know why he suddenly wants to find Kurt so desperately; he just knows that he wants to stop Tina from interrogating him any further. He doesnt like it when Tina gets involved in his relationships, and he doesnt want Tina to say anything stupid, anything about what Blaine was like before everything that happened with Connor or how often Blaine finds himself just staring at Kurt, or how he feels so incredibly--

The people dancing right next to him move in his direction, and Blaine stumbles backwards, trying to find his balance before he crashes into anyone in the tight space, but then there are suddenly strong arms around him, catching him and supporting him, and Blaines nose recognizes the familiar whiff of hairspray and warm skin through all the other scents in the air.

"Hey you," Kurts laughing voice says in his ear, his chest against Blaines back. "I thought you said you didnt want to get drunk?"

Blaine straightens himself, Kurts arms falling away from his waist, and for some reason his body instantly misses the connection, misses the touch. Blaine has never missed anyone as physically as he misses Kurt sometimes. He turns around, and there Kurt is, sweat beading on his forehead, his shirt a little wrinkled already, his smile so wide and happy.

He looks beautiful.

"Wheres Tina?" Blaine calls over the music, stepping closer so Kurt can hear him. The bass pounds through his whole body, making him feel like hes vibrating again, halfway out of his own skin and not exactly aware of what hes doing.

Kurt shrugs, his grin still in place. "She went to find Mike!"

The mass of people around them forces them even closer to each other, and theres that unfamiliar glint in Kurts eyes again, drawing Blaine in.

"This is so much fun, Blaine!" Kurt yells, shimmying his shoulders to the beat of the music. "Come on, dance with me?"

Blaine swallows, glancing around the dance floor. Kurt tilts his head in question, still smiling, waiting for Blaine to make the first move, and god, Blaine just wants to kiss him. He doesnt know why or how, but he just does -- and thats what that odd feeling in his chest and stomach is all about, the one that has been there ever since he heard Kurt sing during their first session together with the kids, the feeling that has just intensified from everything that has happened tonight. He wants to lean over and kiss Kurt, he wants to tell Kurt everything, wants to believe in true love and romance and silly love songs again, wants to trust those feelings coursing through his heart and veins.

He wants to let himself fall in love with Kurt.

Suddenly it all makes sense. Everything he has been confused about makes sense, all those feelings he has tried to push away, all those songs that are playing in his head these days, all those laughs he and Kurt have shared on the fire escape or all those lingering glances. Tinas mischievous grin, Mikes earlier words, getting over Nathan so quickly -- it all makes sense.

He looks up, meeting Kurts eyes. Kurt raises his eyebrows at him, and there it is, the soft look in his eyes, asking and offering, waiting and willing.

Blaine steps closer and lifts his arms, twining them around Kurts neck slowly, giving Kurt the chance to move away if he wants to. But Kurt only stares at him, his body still moving slightly to the beat of the music, something heavy in his gaze. Blaine swallows again and shifts even closer, little by little until their faces are mere inches apart and he can rest his arms on Kurts shoulders, starting to sway his hips to the music.

Kurt breathes out shakily and moves his own hands to Blaines waist, his fingers digging into his skin through the thin fabric of his shirt, burning and hesitant at the same time. Blaine takes a breath, trying to calm his heartbeat, and then smiles at Kurt, shows him that its okay, that he wants Kurt to keep his hands there, anchoring him. He feels like he might float away if Kurt stepped away from him or removed his grounding touch.

They find their rhythm easily, both of them guiding each other, legs brushing and skin burning where it meets the others skin. The lights flash above them, unfamiliar bodies moving right next to them, sometimes bumping them this way or that, but Blaine cant focus on any of those things. All he can see is Kurts eyes staring into his and the soft smile on Kurts lips.

Somewhere in his pocket his phone buzzes again, but he doesnt even notice it because at the same moment Kurt leans closer, pressing their foreheads together and closing his eyes, looking calm and happier than Blaine has ever seen him before. It would be so easy to close the small distance between them and kiss him.

"We dont really dance like this in Kingleysia," Kurt says, his voice barely audible over the music. His thumb is stroking over the curve of Blaines hip, slow but sure. "Not this... close."

Blaine takes a shuddering breath, all of his senses full of Kurt, his hands trembling. "Oh?"

Kurt smiles, his eyes still closed. "Then again, I wouldnt even be able to dance with another man like this in Kingleysia." He suddenly blinks his eyes open, a frown appearing on his forehead. "I-is this okay here? I mean, is this-- were not going to-"

"Its okay, I promise." Blaine moves closer, Kurts breath ghosting over his cheek. His hands slide down Kurts back, reassuring him, feeling the warmth of his body against his palms, feeling how his muscles relax at Blaines words. The song is slower now, more sensual, and Blaine has never felt this safe before. "Mike and Tina would never-- They would never take me to a nightclub where I cant be myself," he adds.

Kurt grins, his eyes shining. "Ive been missing out on so many things with my princely duties," he says lightly.

He moves his head so that his cheek is right against Blaines, his hands moving higher on Blaines waist, sending shivers up and down Blaines body. Blaine noses his hair, already a little damp with sweat. Its so intimate, almost too intimate considering theyre just friends, no matter how much Blaine is suddenly aching to be more than that, to move his head back to its previous position and kiss Kurt, to bury his hands in Kurts hair and pull him closer until theres nothing between them.

But as intimate as this is, as close as they are, they are still surrounded by too many people, unfamiliar people at that, and there is too much darkness broken by the multicolored lights around them. This just doesnt feel like the right time and place to kiss Kurt. Kurt deserves more than that -- Kurt deserves romance and grand gestures and serenades, flowers and dates and sunlight. He deserves things Blaine isnt so sure hes ready to give. Not yet, at least.

Kurts hands are guiding the movements of Blaines hips, following the rhythm of the music, and Blaine pushes his thoughts way and just lets himself enjoy it, lets himself let go and just be here. He looks around the dance floor, a few people near them laughing together while they dance horribly out of beat, several couples dancing as close to each other as he and Kurt are. He cant see Tina or Mike anywhere, not even when he and Kurt turn around in a full circle, so they must be at the bar -- or even in a bathroom or somewhere else making out. Tina becomes weirdly exhibitionistic when shes drunk, but Mike has never seemed to mind it.

Besides, Blaine doesnt really care where they are or what theyre doing. As long as Kurt stays this close to him.

Kurt starts humming along to the music, his mouth right next to Blaines ear. Blaine smiles, moving a little faster to the beat of the song. He doesnt even know if its the same song anymore, or if theyve been dancing for several songs already, all of it blending and blurring together. He feels warm and comfortable, Kurts heart beating close to his own and the silky material of his shirt slipping under his fingertips.

The push and pull of the crowd forces them to move to the left, and suddenly Blaine catches a glimpse of a familiar face on the other side of the room. He squints, trying to see through the lights and moving people, and-- it is Nathan, talking to someone Blaine doesnt recognize near the entrance, making gestures with his hands that look like hes saying his goodbyes for the night.

Huh. Sometimes New York is oddly small for such a big city.

Blaine blinks, trying to keep his focus on the way Kurts muscles shift and move against him. It feels strange to see Nathan again all of a sudden, in a place where he definitely didnt expect to see him. The last time they saw each other was when they broke up, but this time there is no ache in Blaines chest, no longing or sadness or pain.

Nathan looks up from his conversation, as if he realizes hes being watched, and their eyes meet across the room. Nathans expression shifts into surprise, the flashing lights illuminating his face for a moment. He stares at Blaine, but then he smiles, neutral and without a hint of longing, so different from Kurts smiles this evening.

Blaine smiles politely back at him, giving a brief nod in greeting.

Nathan nods back and then seems to notice who hes dancing with, his smile turning into a grin as he raises both of his hands and gives Blaine a thumbs-up, laughing like he somehow saw this coming.

Its an innocent gesture, a surprising act of support from an ex-boyfriend that Blaine isnt really used to, but when the crowd moves again and Nathan disappears from view, Blaine can suddenly feel his breathe catching in his throat. It is a nice gesture, but at the same time its a reminder of the past, of everything Blaine is and has been, everything he managed to forget for a moment.

Something about the gesture sparks a memory; Connor standing in the doorway of their shared apartment after their final fight, his thumbs up and a sneer on his face, spitting out, "so good fucking luck with that, Blaine" with such hate, such vehemence, and--

Love isnt easy. Love isnt the way Blaine has always hoped it would be, it isnt the stuff of fairytales and romantic comedies. Love is the one thing that makes him feel like a failure, that always comes back to kick him one more, the one thing he cant allow himself to believe in, if only to keep himself safe.

He thought it all made sense, that he had finally figured it all out for good. Except it all doesnt make sense after all, not really. Kurt is still from Kingleysia, still from another world where he most likely has his future true love waiting for him, his own happy ending just waiting for his return, magical and amazing -- and Blaine is still the failure who cant get his relationships to work no matter what he does. The one who always tries too hard or not enough, the one who either comes on too strong or not at all.

The one whos always left behind.

He cant do this again. He cant put his heart on the line again. He promised himself that he wouldnt do it, not after what happened with Connor. He doesnt even know if Kurt feels the same way as he does; he can guess or assume or interpret the sudden flirting in any way he wants, but he still doesnt know for sure, and Kurts friendship is too important for him to even try to find out the truth.

His shoulders must have tensed because Kurts hands are suddenly sliding from his waist to his back, holding him carefully, their dancing stuttering to an abrupt stop.

"Blaine?" Kurt asks, his voice worried and unsure.

"I-- I dont feel too good," Blaine croaks out. He pulls away, fighting against the urge to just keep holding on, to just let Kurt hold him and drive away his fears. He steps back too abruptly and someone bumps into him, making him stumble and stutter out another apology, the bright lights flashing in his eyes.

Kurt immediately takes his hand and starts pulling him away from the dance floor, to a quiet corner of the club, away from the loudest music and the pushing crowd. Blaine feels cold all of a sudden, his arms shivering when they break through the mesh of people.

"Blaine?" Kurts hands are on his shoulders, rubbing up and down, his eyes searching Blaines face. "Are you alright? Whats wrong?"

"I-- Can we leave?" Blaine asks, his hands trembling. Hes just so tired. So tired of trying and never succeeding. "Im sorry, I know you were having fun and-- You can stay, Im sure Tina and Mike are still around here somewhere, you can stay with them and--"

"Hey, hey." Kurt leans closer, framing Blaines face with his hands, brushing his thumbs over Blaines cheeks, and it feels so nice, so right - except Blaine cant let himself trust it, cant let go. "We can leave, its okay," Kurt says, giving him a reassuring smile. "Im getting a little tired myself, to be honest."

"Okay." Blaine takes a shuddering breath, feeling it barely fill his lungs. "O-okay."

Kurt looks at him, his eyes so soft and caring. Why must he be so imperfectly perfect, so wonderful? Its making Blaines heart hurt to see him right there and not allow himself to just fall and trust that Kurt will catch him.

"Should we tell Tina that were leaving?" Kurt asks, lowering his hands back to Blaines shoulders, his thumb still rubbing soothingly over his skin.

"No, I can-- I can text her, its okay." Blaine scrubs his hands over his face. God, hes such a mess. Hes so fucked up, and just earlier this evening he was thinking that he was fine and everything was good.

"Okay, come on then, were going." Kurt takes his hand, and its both right and wrong and Blaine doesnt know which instinct to trust the most.

Before he even realizes it they have their coats on and are pushing past the bouncer and through the doorway into the street, the fresh air feeling wonderful against his sweaty skin, the bass of the club still echoing quietly behind them. Everything starts to look clearer again, and Blaine breathes in the cool night air, the muffled sounds of the city around him, his lungs finally expanding.

Kurt leads him a little away from the club before he stops and turns to face Blaine, his expression still worried.

"Better?" he asks quietly, stroking his thumb over Blaines knuckles.

Hes so careful and concerned, so tender, and Blaine just wants to ask him to hold him and then later on tell him everything, tell him why hes such a mess right now. But that would require opening up about things he hasnt really told anyone before, and hes just-- Hes so tired.

"Better," he answers weakly and squeezes Kurts hand, wanting to keep holding on to that last connection.

Kurt smiles. "Good. Do you feel like walking, or should we get one of those... yellow carriage things?"

Blaine cant help it; he laughs, ducking his head and feeling somehow even more lightheaded than he did before. "Cabs," he says, "theyre called cabs, remember?"

Kurt shrugs. "Maybe I was just pretending not to remember it so I could make you smile," he says teasingly.

Blaine looks up, his heart thudding painfully inside his chest. It would be so easy to fall, to let go of everything thats holding him back. It would be both the easiest and the most difficult thing he has ever done, and he doesnt know if hes ready. If he ever will be.

Kurt smiles at him, soft and gentle, and squeezes his hand back. "So, cab or walking?"

Blaine breathes in, trying not to think about anything too difficult. "Lets walk? My apartments not that far anyway."

"Okay," Kurt agrees. He squeezes Blaines hand again, hesitates for a moment, and then slowly lets go, searching Blaines face as if to makes sure hes doing the right thing by giving him more space.

Blaine can feel the skin of his hand tingling, itching to reach out and grab Kurts hand again, but he just smiles and pushes his hands in his pockets instead.

They walk home in silence, both of them lost in thought, and when they finally reach the apartment Kurt immediately slips away into the bathroom. He says that hes going to clean his face, but Blaine can see that he needs his space as well, his eyes unsure and worried, so he just smiles and nods, letting the door close between them.

Blaine moves around the apartment, drinking a glass of water to clear the last traces of alcohol from his body. He didnt even drink that much, not even one full drink, but everything else about tonight has his body still buzzing and trembling like hes drunk his own weight in alcohol.

Its only when hes opening up the sofa bed for Kurt that he remembers the text message he got on the dance floor, pulling his phone from his pocket and opening his messages. He has several unread texts, all of them from Tina, and one missed call, that one from Mike. He sits down on the edge of the bed and texts Mike back first, letting him know that he and Kurt got home safely, before opening Tinas messages with some apprehension.

From Tina:
u should see the way he lights up when he talks about u

From Tina:
i havent seen u smile like that since forever

From Tina:
blaine
he makes u look so happy
u should be that happy

He sighs, running his hand through his hair. The last text is a picture, a blurry image of the clubs dance floor, and Blaine has to squint and swipe his fingers over the screen to zoom in to even see what its supposed to be about.

Right in the middle of the picture, partly obscured by other people and looking very red and yellow from the clubs lights, are him and Kurt, dancing so close to each other that its hard to see where one of them ends and the other begins, especially with how blurry the picture it. But its obviously them -- Blaine can recognize the shape of Kurts hair and the curve of his own shoulders, can see how they look like theyre completely lost in their own world. God, were they really dancing that close to each other? His whole body remembers how it felt to be completely surrounded by Kurt, to just forget everything else and dance with him, to imagine for a moment what it would be like to have that forever.

He runs his hand through his hair again, frustration making his temples ache, and then taps at the reply button.

From Blaine:
I dont know what youre trying to do, but please stop getting involved in my relationships. I can figure things out on my own, okay?

He doesnt expect a reply, but before he has even closed his messages the phone buzzes in his hand.

From Tina:
Sorry.
Just dont let him slip away. Hes good for you, I can tell.

The words are so different from the earlier drunken messages that Blaine is still staring at them with his brows furrowed when Kurt steps out of the bathroom, already dressed in the soft t-shirt and pants he wears to bed.

"Everything alright?" he asks quietly, walking into the living room and stopping on the other side of the sofa bed.

"Yeah," Blaine says, shakes his head and pushes his phone back in his pocket. "Yeah, sorry, just... Tina being Tina, you know."

Kurt smiles. "She was rather wild tonight, wasnt she?"

Blaine laughs. "Oh, you havent seen nothing yet."

Kurts smile widens a little, his eyes still searching Blaines face for something, as if hes suddenly having trouble finding something he has seen there before. "The hairspray has apparently worn off," he says awkwardly after a moment, gesturing at his hair, soft and limp over his forehead again.

"Thats what happens when you have to rely on hairspray instead of magic." Blaine smiles and pushes himself up from the bed. "I hope you had fun?" he asks, suddenly worried that he just ruined Kurt night with his own personal breakdown.

"I did," Kurt rushes to say, his eyes wide and earnest. "I did, I really did. Im just... I hope I didnt do anything to make you uncomfortable," he adds, looking away, nervous.

"No, Kurt--" Blaine quickly walks around the bed and reaches out to touch Kurts shoulder, Kurt turning to look at him again at the touch. "You didnt, honestly. You were great. Im just..." He huffs out a breath, shaking his head. "I guess Im just a mess sometimes."

Kurt smiles, a small twitch of his mouth, and god, Blaine still wants to kiss him. "Thats okay," Kurt says, shrugging his shoulders. "Were all a mess sometimes."

"Thank you," Blaine says quietly, pulling his hand away from Kurts shoulder. "Im-- Im going to go to bed now, so... Goodnight?"

Kurt hesitates for a moment and then pulls him into a quick hug, stroking his hand over Blaines back. "Goodnight, Blaine."

Blaine breathes in, focusing on the warmth of Kurts body, hoping that it could drive away the cold feeling in the pit of his stomach -- and then forces himself to step away from the hug, smiling at Kurt before he turns around towards his own bedroom.

He needs time. He may be moving on, but he hasnt moved on yet, not completely.

Hes reached the doorway, his hand already on the handle, when Kurt suddenly calls after him.

"Blaine?"

Blaine looks over his shoulder. Kurt is still standing next to the bed, now holding his brooch in his hand. "Yes?"

"I-- I meant what I said earlier," Kurt says, his words careful, as if hes trying to make them come across exactly the way he means them. He doesnt take his eyes off of his brooch, turning it slowly over in his hands. "I know you will find your true love one day. I know you dont believe in it, in my version of love, but I... I know you will still find it. Because you deserve to find it."

"Your version of love hasnt really worked out for me in the past," Blaine replies, pushing the door open. "I... I appreciate the thought, though. I really do," he adds, halting.

He steps inside his bedroom, starting to pull the door closed behind himself. He has almost closed it completely, the gap between the door and the frame barely visible, when he hears Kurts quiet voice from the living room.

"Maybe youve just been waiting for someone from another world then."