Kurt's heavy boots hit the wooden floor, the thunk thunk thunk of them making it obvious to anyone that was at home he was there.

Funny he should call this place home when it was far from that the last two years he resided here. He would never say he lived here, because to live there would imply he did that at all.

He can clearly remember coming to this place at eight years old; shaking and frightened and heartbroken, still, over his parents as the woman who held his hand and explained this is where he would be staying from now on.

"Now, Kurt," he distinctly remembers her saying. "This is your new home. These nice people here have graciously decided to take you in and raise you."

"Yes, ma'am," Kurt had quietly replied, nodding his head. He looked to the couple standing in front of him, both of them smiling wide with eyes filled with joy.

Seeing them, he thought, then, that things were perhaps looking up.

But now, that is far from what happened after everything that has happened.

Getting a glimpse of how he looks in the hallway mirror, seeing the glisten of the metal loop of his ear piercing at the top of his ear as it catches the shine of the sun as it spills through the front, double stacked windows. Running a hand through his tussled hair, trying to calm the craziness of it, he knows it's no use. It doesn't matter how hard he tries to make himself presentable to them because they will always see the one flaw he can't control.

Saying fuck it and deciding to give up, Kurt lets a smile appear on his lips, only to drop it after seeing how out of place it seems on him. Stuffing his hands in the pockets of his black, leather jacket, he makes his way to where he knows he'll find mommy and daddy dearest at this time of day.

The heavy hitting of his boots is loud once again as pushes his way into the small dining area. He grins at the immediate shock and surprise that registers on the faces of the two people that he used to believe were his new parents. Not anymore, that's for sure.

"Hey, fam," he says, striding over and pulling out one of the chairs lining the table, plopping down and throwing an arm over the back of the chair as he leaned back. "I know how much y'all hate surprises, but I just couldn't help myself." Kurt chuckles as that earns a glare from the man sitting at the head of the table. He laughs even more at noticing the piece of steak still on his fork, as if he caught him mid-bite.

"How long this time?" The menacing man, John, asks; voice deep and filled a slight rage.

"Few months," Kurt answers, grabbing a roll from the basket sitting in the middle of the table. "I promise not to fuck any random strangers in the house this time," he says, mentally laughing at what transpired the last time he was here and he did just that. To say the 'rents where angry was an understatement of the century.

"I highly doubt that," the middle-aged lady, Sarah, with a trill voice says under her breath, but still loud enough to be heard, as she reaches for one of the many glasses sitting in front of her.

Right when Kurt was about to make a snide comment, someone was bursting through the door from which he just came.

Eyes landing on curled hair slightly tamed with gel, eyes the color of molten caramel, and a smile that always makes him feel better, Kurt grins as Blaine takes notice of him.

"Kurt!" Blaine yells, going over to him and hugging him like crazy, just as Kurt suspected he would do. Blaine is the only person he allows to hug him like this; to let him pull his body close and tightly hold him.

Kurt recalls meeting Blaine that first day he arrived. Pleated khakis and a navy blue sweater vest over a button up, hair gelled and swept back some, Kurt thought he was cuter than any boy he had ever seen.

They instantly bonded, becoming friends closer than peas in a pod. They shared everything together: the good, the bad, and the not so pretty. Blaine was the first person Kurt went to and told he was gay, feeling relief when he hugged him and said it didn't matter; that he still loved him for who he was.

Blaine was still even there after he told the Anderson's and they had pretty much turned their backs on him. No longer looked at with the respect they gave him, Kurt cried on Blaine's shoulder many nights as he held him. He still acknowledged him as the great guy he was even though his parents basically told him to stay away.

So, having Blaine hugging the ever living daylights out of him right now in front of his parents feels kind of good. Which is why Kurt lifts his arms and pulls him closer; grinning at the scold Mrs. Anderson gives him. It's times like that he wishes he could just shoot her the middle finger.

"Hi, Blaine," Kurt says, feeling him finally release his hold of him. "It's been too long since I saw you."

"It's been almost ten months, Kurt," Blaine reminds him. "And you were only here for three days the last time."

Huh, Kurt thinks, he didn't think it was that long. Once he was old enough, he left this house and ran away from the seed he didn't mean to plant that night so many nights ago. Since then, he avoids coming back at all costs; not wanting to see the Anderson's and endure their comments and looks. The only reason he ever does come is to see Blaine even though when he leaves it's always with a deeper longing for what he wants but doesn't have.

"Well, you're stuck with me for the next few months," he says, taking his seat once again, watching Blaine walk to the other side of the table and take a seat. Thanking the maid, Mrs. Gray, who's always loved him, for setting a plate down in front of him.

"You're welcome, Kurt," she tells him, giving him a small pat on the back. "I'll be right out with yours, Blaine," she politely says.

"Thank you. So, Kurt," Blaine starts off, smiling at him. "What have you been up to?"

Kurt hears both of Blaine's parents scoff, definitely not interested in what and who he's been doing. But he never wastes an opportunity to get them even angrier. So, he starts to tell Blaine about the past couple of months. He tells him everything about the places he's been and the people he has met; about the sights and attractions he's seen. But being gracious enough, he leaves out all the people he hooked up with, knowing that would only result in Blaine's parents getting further annoyed with him.

"Enough talk about Kurt," Sarah says. "Blaine, honey, how were your finals?"

Kurt lets out an annoyed sigh and looks at Blaine and shrugs his shoulders, seeing the small smile he gives him.

~

Throwing himself on his bed in his room, he sprawls out and stretches his arms. Looking around at his old room, he sees everything as it was since he left the last time. Hanging on his wall and scattered on top of his chest are drawings and sketches that he did long ago. Picking one of them up and seeing the love and passion he put behind the picture, he thinks about how it's been years since he's put a pencil to paper and drawn something.

Dropping the picture, seeing it fall to the floor, he walks and sits on the edge of his bed and looks around at his room he'll be sleeping in for the next few months.

He can distinctly remember days of Blaine and him when they were young and playing in here or having a sleep over in his room during the summer. He also remembers Blaine trying to stop him as he pushed open the window and climbed out so he could go out and have some fun. Always ignoring his attempts to stop him, even trying to get him to come with him on a few occasions, Kurt would smile and jump off the side roof and leave. The thing that always surprised him, though, was climbing back into his room and finding Blaine asleep on his bed. As if he waited for him to make sure he would be okay. And every time he did that, Kurt would strip down to his boxers and undershirt and climb in his bed beside him. He would pull him close and nuzzle his nose in the back of his neck, getting a lungful of Blaine's bodywash that smelled of honey and milk, and fall asleep. But every morning he would wake up to an empty bed and a hard on from being so close to Blaine for those few hours they slept.

Turning his head when he hears his door open, seeing Blaine step into his room, Kurt pats the space next to him in invitation.

The bed dips when Blaine sits down and lies back.

"So, Blaine," Kurt says. "How's life?"

"The usual," Blaine replies, turning his head and smiling at him. "Just finished my third year of college."

Kurt watches as those pink lips stretch over teeth, and he goes back to that night. He goes back to just the two of them in the house and standing in the middle of the kitchen as they hungrily kissed each other. Thinking about that, though, makes him remember how Blaine walked away less than a few minutes later. But quickly pulling himself from that memory and coming back to reality, he returns Blaine's smile. "How's the girlfriend?" he asks, not sure if he really cares.

The first time he came back after he left, about six months later, Kurt was heartbroken to learn that Blaine had a girlfriend that he could easily see he liked. He left two days later and didn't come back for a year.

"She's great. We're still doing great."

"It's been how long now?"

"Three years," Blaine replies.

"I'm happy you're happy," Kurt quietly tells him, although he feels his heart twist in his chest.

The worst part about having feelings for Blaine, other than the fact that he has a girlfriend, is having Blaine being clueless to how he feels. He's pretty sure after that night he suspects, but he has yet to come right out and ask him, and he has never told him.

Sitting up and seeing it's only nine-thirty, Kurt decides he needs to get out of here and forget about how he feels about Blaine for a few hours. "I'm going out," he announces, patting his pocket where his keys are.

"Where are you going?" Blaine curiously asks as he sits up.

"Just out. Go have some fun." Blaine drops his head and looks at his hands. "Want to come with me?"

"Wha-...No, I shouldn't," Blaine responds as he shakes his head.

"Suit yourself." Kurt walks to his door and out of his room, taking the stairs down two at a time.

Walking out of the house and to his car, needing to remember to grab his duffle bag full of his clothes from the back, Kurt takes a deep breath. Climbing in, he starts the car and drives away, already looking forward to going to his usual place.

He's back less than two hours and he's already feeling old feelings he thought he longed buried surface and create a storm of emotions in his body.

For so long, he thought he escaped what he felt for Blaine, but a few minutes alone with him and he is back to being seventeen and realizing he was in love with him.

Driving away, he makes the decision to not let his heart get in the way of this summer and continue to be the emotionless person he has learned to become over the past four years. No attachments to people he meets in bars who he knows always replace the one person he's wanted more than anything in the world.

Grabbing his phone from his inside jacket pocket, he hits ignore when he sees Blaine's name flash across his screen.

"Why can't I let you go?" he asks himself out loud as he places his phone face down in the passenger seat and turns on the car radio.

~

"You should call me," the guy, Tim, or was it Tom, Kurt doesn't care to remember, says as he stands up.

"No, thanks," Kurt says with a snort, not believing this guy.

The bathroom is no different than he remembers it to be since he's last been here almost a year ago. The floors are still sticky and there is graffiti all over the walls. He can hear other guys hooking up in the stalls next to him.

He's gotten what he wanted and has no plans to ever see this guy again.

"Why?" Tim or Tom asks.

"Because, besides giving great head, everything else about you is boring." Kurt zips up his pants and walks out of the stall and out of the dirty bathroom.

Tired of the music and the crowd of people in the bar and not really interested in drinking anymore, he decides to go back to the house.

Climbing in his car, he rolls down his window and lights a cigarette.

Driving back home, blowing smoke out the window and making sure not to get in an accident or get pulled over, his mind wonders to Blaine and how heart stopping it was to see him again after so long.

He doesn't know just yet if it was right in coming back here. If it was right in making the choice to face everything he's been running from for four years. He wants to put that night and what it started behind him. But it's not as easy as it seems. It's not like a broken plate that the pieces can be easily picked up and thrown away. This is a puzzle with too many pieces that creates an unforeseeable picture when arranged perfectly.

Thinking about it now, he isn't sure if he's ready to face all of that, but is ready.

Flicking out his cigarette butt, he rolls his window back up and focuses on getting back to the house in one piece.

~

Opening his bedroom door, he holds in his laugh at seeing Blaine fast asleep on his bed. Stripping out of all his clothes, except for his boxers, he climbs into bed with Blaine. Snuggling close to him, feeling his heart pick up its pace, he throws an arm over Blaine's back and rests his head close to his.

"Kurt?" Blaine sleepily says.

"Yeah, it's me," Kurt tells him, soothing his hand over Blaine's back.

Closing his eyes, and on the brink of sleep, he smiles at what Blaine tells him next.

"I'm glad your back."

Kurt knows he's talking about more than being back after going out for the night.

~

Opening his eyes a few hours later and groaning, feeling like an elephant stomped on his head, Kurt doesn't even have to look to know Blaine is gone. The warmth that is always there when he sleeps with him is gone, creating a bit of a hurt in Kurt.

On mornings after Blaine sleeps in bed with him, he wishes once he could wake up and still find him there in bed with him.

Sitting up, and getting a bit dizzy, he drops his head in his hands and wishes the pain would cease in his head. Seeing a glass of water and some Advil on his bedside table, he smiles at how well Ms. Gray knows him. Knocking back the pills, he gets out of bed and walks the few steps to his connecting bathroom.

Pushing his underwear down his legs, he steps into the tiled shower and turns on the scorching hot water, immediately feeling his muscles loosen and relax.

Drying off and pulling on the same clothes from the day before, really needing to grab his bag, he heads downstairs and to the kitchen. Finding Mrs. Gray cooking breakfast, he takes a seat at the island in the middle of the kitchen. "Morning," he tells her.

"I'm making your favorite," Mrs. Gray, or as she keeps reminding him to call her, Tilly, says with an easy smile.

"Thanks." He takes the cup of coffee she offers him, stepping off the stool and grabbing the cream from the fridge. "They in the dining area?"

"For about fifteen minutes now," she replies. "You eating in here this morning?"

"Yes, Tilly." He smiles at her, one of the few people he gives a genuine smile to. Thanking her when she sets a plate of cheesy, scrambled eggs and bacon in front of him, Kurt quickly begins to dig in. Forkful of eggs are mid-way to his mouth when he hears Blaine's voice nearby in the dining area.

"You still sweet on him?" Tilly asks with a small smile, preparing a plate for Blaine.

Kurt isn't the least surprised by the question, knowing that Tilly could read him like an open book. She was, also, the only other person, besides Blaine, he talked and told pretty much everything to.

Tilly sort of became the Aunt, or he would even venture to as far as say, mom, he never really had but needed growing up. He can remember her reading to him at night those first two years he lived here, knowing that always helped him fall asleep. He remembers her always sneaking him extra cookies when Mrs. Anderson said no. She was there to comfort and hold him when the Mr. and Mrs. Anderson no longer treated him like the son he once was to them. He knows Tilly is really the one to have raised him when he lived here.

"That obvious?" he pitifully asks; not surprised by how easy Tilly could tell.

"To me. Yeah."

"Yeah, it's still there." Kurt thinks about how his feelings for Blaine, although he wishes them gone, have only managed to grow over the past years. The way his heart skips a beat anytime he enters the room, or how tightly he holds him close those nights when he's asleep in his bed. But he thinks about waking up alone and a girl he doesn't know that he's jealous of. "Don't know why. Nothing will ever happen."

"That boy's sweet on you, too."

"As a friend," Kurt adds, noticing Tilly shake her head, wondering what she is thinking.

"That boy's sweet on you like you're sweet on him." Tilly grins at him, setting a piece of buttered toast on his plate.

"I can think I can safely say that you have officially lost it, Tilly," Kurt jokes as he takes a bite of his toast, swerving when Tilly tries to playfully smack him.

"Don't go and be rude to me, Kurt."

"Never."

Finishing his breakfast, he goes up to Tilly and hugs her from behind. "It's great seeing you again, Till," he says as he holds her tight and close to his body.

"It's great seeing you again, Kurt." She pats his arm in a comforting way. "You've been gone too long for my liking."

"Sorry," Kurt apologizes. "I love you, Till," he tells her, planting a wet kiss on her cheek. Besides Blaine, and only in a friendly way so far, Tilly is the only person he tells that he loves them.

"I love you, too, Kurt."

Letting her go, Kurt walks out of the kitchen and heads for the backyard. Finding everything as it was, he sits down in one of the deck chairs, lifting his feet up on the table and pulling a cigarette out. Putting it between his lips and patting his pocket for his Zippo, he flicks it until a small flame appears. Cupping the end of his cigarette, he lights it and closes the top of the Zippo, putting it back in his pocket.

Looking out at the grand backyard, always wondering why the hell somebody would need this much land, he smokes and enjoys the calm and quite that comes with being alone.

"I thought you might have quit," Blaine says as he sits down next to him.

"I'm trying right now. Only allow myself three a day." Kurt takes a drag of his cigarette and blows a ring with the smoke. "It's working for me; got down from a pack and a half a day."

"That's good." Blaine looks at him with a small smile. "What'd you do last night?"

"Drank and let some guy blow me. So...the usual." Kurt chuckles and looks to Blaine, only to find him no longer smiling and looking upset. Thinking it was what he said, Kurt says, "You asked and I answered."

"I did, didn't I," Blaine says with a hint of anger lacing his voice.

"Don't get mad at me for letting some guy blow me. It's what I wanted and he offered."

"Do you even remember his name, Kurt?" Blaine angrily says.

Kurt rests his head back on the chair, taking a long drag of his cigarette and blowing the smoke out through his nose. "I think it was Tom or Tim. It could have been Thames; I'm not sure. I really couldn't ask him when he was sucking me off."

"So, you'll let a total fucking stranger do that? A guy you can't even bother to remember the name of?"

For some reason that gets Kurt's attention. Whipping his head up and looking at Blaine, and yeah, he sees he's mad, but he also notices the hurt in his eyes. It's then that he realizes Blaine is jealous. He's jealous of some random fucking stranger Kurt has no interest in seeing again. "Don't be mad and angry at me, Blaine!" Kurt stands up and drops his cigarette to the ground, putting it out with the heel of his boot. "I gave you a chance and you walked away! Because of that, I think I'm allowed to fuck whoever I want!"

"Typical Kurt: fuck any guy that offers!" Blaine stands up and looks at him as if he might do something.

Kurt can see it in his eyes, eyes that dart to his lips more than once as they stand there, that he wants to kiss him. He wants to be the guy Kurt goes to when he is looking for a good time. But he knows him. Knows he'll never give into what he's been denying himself, and Kurt, of what they both want. And Kurt wishes with all his heart that Blaine would see how stupid he is being that by refusing himself this one thing that it's creating a tear in the fabric of the friendship they share. That by denying himself to be with Kurt, it's making them both slowly pull away from each other.

Knowing that; knowing that Blaine will never give in, Kurt does what he does. He goes out and sleeps with men and tries to forget the one guy that constantly invades his mind. Thinking sleeping with them will help, he always comes to realize it only makes him ache for the touch of another, the kiss of lips that fit perfectly to his from the one experience he's had of kissing them. It always makes him think of Blaine and wanting him to be the guy in bed next to him.

Kurt knows he can only go so long as Blaine's friend, continue hanging out with him, before he can't anymore; before he can't be near him without telling him the truth of how he feels. He doesn't want to tell him something he is scared will most likely never be said in return to him how he wants from Blaine.

That's why he ran when it became too much; when it became too complicated to be around him when he knew he would never have him.

He figures that's why he came here this summer: to try and finally get over Blaine and move on. This summer could be his time to get over an unrequited love. But less than a day back and he's already back to being hopelessly in love with Blaine and wanting him to step over that damn line he's set that he doesn't want cross when it comes to him and what they obviously have between them.

"Don't be jealous because it's not you!" Kurt yells. He sees as that triggers something in Blaine that has him taking a step back. Watching him walk away, Kurt goes to his car and drives off, needing to forget about this and be somewhere else for a few hours.