Sept. 12, 2012, 4:41 p.m.
To Teach is to Learn Twice: Chapter 3
E - Words: 2,034 - Last Updated: Sep 12, 2012 Story: Closed - Chapters: 6/? - Created: Jul 20, 2012 - Updated: Sep 12, 2012 539 0 2 0 0
It’s been two days since… the kiss. Since Kurt accidentally fell on top of Blaine and he couldn’t stop thinking about it. Kurt had felt incredible on top of him and every time Blaine thought about it, he couldn’t understand why Kurt did what he did. Sure they were both gay males living in a rather barren wasteland in terms of other gay men, but Blaine was over 11 years Kurt’s senior. Blaine would never have been bold enough to do something like that when he was Kurt’s age. Then again, when he was Kurt’s age he had already had his heart broken by Jeremiah. But Jeremiah had taken the reigns in their relationship. Blaine hadn’t initiated a single thing.
He hoped that he’d be able to talk to Kurt about what happened yesterday after school, but Kurt hadn’t come by. For the past week it was like clockwork, he could almost set his watch by it. Every day at 2:25pm Kurt would show up at the door to his classroom, drop his bag off in the front row of desks and ask if there was any papers that needed grading. If there were, Blaine would already have them ready for Kurt to grade. If not, Kurt would sit down and start working on his homework, just to avoid the bullies; except on days when the Glee club met. But he hadn’t done that yesterday. Blaine’s room had a clear shot of the senior parking lot, and at precisely 2:23 he had looked up and seen Kurt practically sprinting to his car.
Was it really that embarrassing to Kurt that he couldn’t even talk to Blaine? He hadn’t even made eye contact with Blaine for the past two days during class. Throughout class he had kept his hand down and not said a word. It threw Blaine back to the last few months of his junior year, when he would sit in the back of Psychology and not say a word, not wanting to even be in the class, but being forced to under threat of suspension and expulsion.
Blaine knew he had to talk to Kurt, but he wasn’t completely sure how to get Kurt alone so they could discuss what happened. He couldn’t exactly talk about it when they were within earshot of students or other faculty members; that would be stupid and irresponsible. But if Kurt wouldn’t come to his room after school, what other way could Blaine get him in private to talk?
It was almost the end of class, and Kurt was slowly packing up his stuff. Blaine could tell it was so he could make a swift getaway out of the room. He wasn’t going to let that happen. As soon as the bell rang, he spoke up. “Kurt, can you stay after a minute?”
Dejected, Kurt slowed down his motions and waited for everyone to leave before walking up to Blaine’s desk where Blaine was waiting for him. “You wanted to see me?”
“I need to talk to you about what happened on Monday.” He said briefly.
“Nothing happened.” Kurt said through clenched teeth.
“You know that’s not true. I was hoping you could come by after school today.” Blaine looked up at Kurt, who was standing beside the desk, not looking happy.
“But today is a Glee day!” Blaine sighed he knew this was a long shot. He had no real recourse to get Kurt to come after school. Technically Kurt didn’t do anything to deserve a detention, and Blaine had no reason to detain him from going to his extracurricular activities, but he really needed to speak with Kurt and he would do about anything to make it happen, including beg.
“I know but, I would really like to speak to you, Kurt.”
Whether it was by some subconscious authority-bending will, or actual desire to spend time with him, Blaine had no idea, but Kurt had given in to his teacher’s plea. “Fine. I’ll be here after school. I make no promises for how long I’ll stay.” He whispers and goes on to his next period.
Blaine and Jeremiah were both out of breath. Blaine had just lost his virginity and it was amazing. Blaine was lying on his back with Jeremiah on his stomach with one of his arms laid across Blaine’s chest possessively. Blaine didn’t mean to say it. It just slipped out.
“I love you.” He was post-orgasmic, and couldn’t be held responsible for what he said. But that didn’t help matters much when Jeremiah started grinning; the same way he did on that first day of school.
It was 2:30pm, 10 minutes after the final bell rang, and Kurt still hadn’t arrived in the classroom. Not that Blaine could blame him. Even though Kurt agreed to show up, he didn’t necessarily want to, so showing up right after the bell, probably wasn’t high on his list of priorities.
When he finally did show up however Blaine was sitting at his desk attempting to grade papers. He really wasn’t getting anything done. He had to reread one particular sentence five times, because he kept waiting for Kurt to show up, and every few seconds would look up at the door, wishing that he would show up. Kurt had only been standing in the doorway for a few seconds by the time Blaine looked up for what was probably the 40th time. “Hey.”
“Hi.” Kurt said back, not sure of what to say. What do you say to the teacher you’ve been avoiding since you kissed him two days prior? Was there a protocol for this? How many times has it happened in the past that there would need to be a protocol?
“So…”
Kurt rolled his eyes. Apparently his teacher had no clue what to say here either. “For an English Teacher you really ought to have a better vocabulary.” He quipped and Blaine’s face grew stern.
“Kurt…”
“Sorry.” Kurt felt slightly ashamed for teasing his teacher, but he was nervous and his defense mechanism was sarcasm. It always had been, and likely always would be. His father had tried to fix that in him when he was a kid, but it never worked.
“I don’t know how to go about this tactfully so I’ll just be blunt.” Kurt shook his head. There was no use for tact or bluntness.
“Why bother? I know what you’re going to say.” Blaine raised one of his triangular eyebrows.
“Try me.”
Kurt dropped his bag on the floor and pursed his lips for a second, as if trying to work out exactly what Blaine would say before starting in on a little speech. “It should never have happened. I’m your student, if anyone found out about what happened you’d be in trouble. Which since I’m the one who initiated—well I don’t think you should be the one to get in trouble.” Kurt trailed off lamely. He looked down, still not able to look his teacher in the eye.
“Aside from that last sentence you pretty much summed it up, yeah.” Blaine nodded his head, before standing up and walking over towards Kurt, who took a step back, not wanting to be closer to his teacher than he absolutely needed to.
“I was stupid, I know I was. But I couldn’t help it.” He bit his lip and scrunched up his face. He didn’t mean for that last part to slip from his mouth.
“Why?” How do you tell your teacher that their hot? That they make you melt into a puddle every time you look at them? He sighed. He was already in deep he might as well go for broke.
“Have you seen yourself? You make Taylor Lautner look like a dog. Pun not intended.” He added as an afterthought.
“I don’t know if I should be offended that you compared me to that Twilight crap-actor or flattered.” Blaine smirked, which made Kurt give a small smile.
“You’re taking this much better than I thought you would.” He said honestly, which made Blaine raise his eyebrow again. How was he expected to react?
“How did you think I’d take it?” Kurt looked at him weird. For a straight guy, his teacher sure was oblivious.
“Like every other straight homophobic jerk living in Lima? Run in fear that the ‘fairy’ is trying to convert you?” Suddenly there was a burst of laughter out of his teacher’s mouth. Kurt was confused. Why was there laughter? What about that last sentence was funny? “Why are you laughing?”
“You just remind me a lot of myself when I was young. Witty, sarcastic, and hating living in a small town while out.”
“You’re gay?” Blaine nodded his head, and Kurt’s eyes widened in shock. “I had no idea”
“It’s not a fact that I regularly advertise to my students, but I’m most definitely gay.” How about that? There was an out gay man living in Lima Ohio that wasn’t Hiram or Leroy Berry.
“Were you the only one out at your school? If you don’t mind me asking, that is?” Blaine shook his head.
“Not at all. I lived not too far away from here actually, in Westerville. I was the only one out at my high school until I transferred to a private school where there was a zero-tolerance no bullying policy. When I got there, a few kids were out, but not many.” Kurt was stunned.
“Was it around here?” Blaine nodded.
“Dalton Academy. Just a couple hours east of here.” Kurt nodded.
“We’re competing against them at Sectionals this year.” Blaine nodded.
“Ahh, the Warblers. How I miss competing with them.” Blaine did miss singing with the Warblers. He still hung out with Wes and David occasionally, but he didn’t get to see the others nearly as much as he would like. After his junior year, he kind of blew all of them off, and only David and Wes were close enough friends to want to stick around and break through the wall he erected after the Jeremiah thing.
“Are they any good?” Kurt asked, and Blaine shook his head.
“I have no idea how they are right now, and even if I did. That would be cheating.” Kurt pouted but Blaine shook it off. There was a silence between them, not an uncomfortable silence, but still deafening. Blaine didn’t know what to say. They had gotten off topic, but he didn’t know how to get back on without making it awkward again. Apparently, he didn’t need to, because Kurt would do it for him.
“I just hate having to go it alone. Before today the only gay men I’d ever met were Rachel Berry’s fathers, and they’re pushing 50. Not exactly the best people to talk to about what happens at a homophobic public high school.” Blaine could understand that. He was out in a homophobic public high school not too long ago, and understood the implications thereof. He knew that in the end, it would make Kurt a much stronger person, having to deal with all the crap that the jocks threw at him, even if he was able to hide for a little while in Blaine’s classroom.
“I know it’s hard, but you will get through this.” Blaine placed a comforting hand on Kurt’s shoulder as he saw a tear slide down Kurt’s cheek. It shattered Blaine’s heart to see Kurt, just a small kid from Lima, Ohio having to bear the ugly realities of the real world before he even made it into it. He wished he could do something for Kurt, even if it was something small.
“I just wish there was someone who could be there for me, y’know?” Blaine did know. He knew better than anyone what it was like to go it alone, even for the past 10 years he went it alone. It was hard, harder than anything else in the world to not have anyone to lean on; anyone to talk to when things got hard. He couldn’t give everything to Kurt, but he could give something.
“I’m here for you, if you ever need to talk.” For the first time in two days Kurt looked up and saw the honesty and sincerity etched into Blaine’s eyes. His friends could never relate to him like this man would be able to, even if it was in a purely platonic, teacher-ish way. Kurt would take it if that’s all he could get.
“Thank you.”
Comments
This was lovely- I'm glad they talked. They're adorable!
Thanks. I hope you enjoy the next chapter that I just posted. I love it when they talk... and they'll be talking a lot in this fic. :)