April 27, 2015, 7 p.m.
Come What May: Week 28 - The Baby Shower
T - Words: 4,018 - Last Updated: Apr 27, 2015 Story: Complete - Chapters: 40/? - Created: Nov 02, 2014 - Updated: Nov 02, 2014 229 0 0 0 0
So first of all, I really debated about putting this chapter in Rachels point of view, but in the end, I decided it was the right thing to do. It gives you perspective into how shes really feeling. Rachels kept a lot bottled up and its wearing on her. Especially now that were reopening emotional wounds: Funny Girl opening and Blaine being engaged to Kurt. More drama! I know, Im sorry. I cant help it. But we do stil have some weeks to cover and I promise that this chapter will be relevant to the Klaine protion of this story.
Ill try to have the next update for you by the weekend. Thank you so, so much for your continued support on this story. You have no idea how much it means to me. :)
Rachel Berry tried to blend in the shuffle of the crowded streets of Manhattan. So many people rushed by without a glance back. It was common in New York. But other people made her feel like she didnt blend as well. Those people stared or pointed and a few were even bold enough to comment.
"Someone looks about ready to pop," a woman smiled at her, as she continued walking by. It was a comment she had received before, but people didnt realize how hurtful it was.
"Actually, I still have a couple months," Rachel called after her. Several heads turned to snicker at her and she tugged on her coat to hide her belly better.
"Hey, hot mama, can I put my bun in your oven?" an older gentleman stopped long enough to rub his hand across her round stomach.
"Get away from me," Rachel pushed his hand away.
"Come on, girl, you look like you need a little fun. its not like youll get knocked up," he touched her stomach again
Rachels breath caught in her chest and she backed away quickly. She dodged into a souvenir shop. Leaning against a wall, she panted heavily, caressing her belly. Tears formed in her eyes and she bowed her head in defeat.
It was so tiring. The stares, the comments, the feeling of standing out in a crowd. She felt so huge and she was only twenty-eight weeks pregnant. She had a long way to go.
"Hey, are you okay?" a familiar voice asked, when the bell over the shop rang. A gentle hand touched her arm and she jumped in alarm.
Glancing up to see who had found her, she breathed, "Sam."
"Whats wrong?" he asked, his expression full of concern. "I just happened to see you running in here as I came off the subway."
Rachel wiped her eyes, "Im sorry. Im just s-so tired. Im so tired of people staring and badgering me. Im just feeling... so tired of being pregnant."
"Hey, its okay," Sam wrapped his arms around her and hugged her tightly, rubbing her back. "Its going to be okay. Youll get through this."
"Yeah, after I stop looking like a whale," Rachel buried her face in his chest, as another round of tears started. "Its just been so hard and I dont know if I can take much more of this."
"Did something happen out there to get you thinking like that?" Sam said, putting it together.
"I guess thats what set me off, yeah," Rachel hiccuped.
"Do I need to go kick someones ass for you?" Sam asked, brushing hair off her face.
She chuckled softly, "No, but thank you. Thats sort of flattering." Rachel swiftly moved toward the door and Sam followed.
"Where are you going?" he asked, placing his hand on her arm.
"I was going to do a little baby shopping but I think now I just want to go home," Rachel paused with her hand on the door and gave him a sad smile.
"Come on, Ill take you home," Sam placed his arm around her waist and guided her out to the curb to hail a cab.
When Sam and Rachel entered the apartment fifteen minutes later, they found Kurt and Blaine sitting on the couch. Rachel felt the familiar ache in her chest she got every time she found them like that. Kurt had his arm around Blaines shoulders, while Blaines small body curled up next to him.
Kurt waved and quietly said, "Hi there!" He them motioned toward the phone in Blaines hand and told them, "Its Savannah."
"Oh," Rachel walked over to Blaine and held out her hand. Blaine handed her the phone and she said, "Hi, honey, its Rachel. I just wanted to thank you for the pacifier you sent the baby. That was very sweet."
"Did you like it? My mommy picked it out for me," Savannah said sweetly.
"I loved it. Theres a lot of stuff the baby needs, so your gift is very much appreciated," Rachel said.
Kurt and Blaine exchanged smirks. Rachel shot them a confused look and handed the phone back over. "Hi, its me again," Blaine said.
Rachel went back toward Sam and said," Thank you for bringing me home."
"Any time. I should get going though. Ill see you later," he gave her a departing hug, waved to Kurt and Blaine on the couch, before he slipped out the door.
"Okay, well talk to you soon... Love you," Blaine hung up and turned to look at Rachel. "What was Sam doing here?" he asked.
"He found me slightly emotional over this guy harassing me, so he offered to bring me here," she said, tossing her coat over a kitchen chair. She was trying to act like it wasnt a big deal, even though her heart was still beating faster than usual.
"Are you okay?" Kurt sat up quickly, his eyes wide.
Tucking her hair behind her ear, Rachel said, "Yeah, Im okay... Um, hows Savannah?" She didnt want to talk about it anymore. It hurt too much.
"Shes doing well," Kurt replied.
"Yeah, she said they want to send her home soon... It depends on how shes doing. Unfortunately, they arent coming back to New York. Beatrice wants to stay there in case she needs to go back," Blaine explained.
"Sure," Rachel nodded. She felt a wave of dizziness and winced. Talking about Savannah wasnt getting the image of that man out of her head, and she didnt want to worry Kurt or Blaine, especially Blaine.
"Are you sure youre okay?" Kurt asked. He wasnt fooled.
"Yeah, Im just going to lie down for a while. I didnt get a lot of sleep last night, so Im fairly tired." Turning on her heel, she moved into her room to have some time away from reality.
"You guys did a great job painting this place," Rachel sat on the floor of the nursery, studying the purple walls.
"Thanks," Blaine smiled, standing next to the crib. "Kurt made a pretty big mess in the process but I think it turned out nicely. It could have been worse without my help."
"Shut up," Kurt laughed. "If you hadnt been so difficult and accepted my dinner offer the first time, i wouldnt have had to paint your face to convince you."
Rachel crossed her legs and bowed her head, tuning out Blaines response. She hated when they teased each other like that, because she felt so out of their loop. She no longer had that bond with Blaine...
"Whats wrong, lady?" Kurt came and sat on the floor next to her, placing a hand on her thigh.
"Do you guys realize Funny Girl opened today?" Rachel asked, stating something that was bothering her even more. She couldnt tell them what was currently on her mind.
Blaine pulled up the side rail of the crib they had just assembled and sat on the other side of Rachel. "Gosh, I never even thought about that," he said as he pulled up his knees and hugged them.
"Yeah and by tomorrow all of New York will know that Penelope Marsh was the best Fanny Brice out there," Rachel mumbled bitterly.
"No, theyll hear that she sucked and they wish you were still around," Kurt nudged her with his shoulder.
Tears formed in her eyes again and her heart felt like it dropped to her stomach. "Its too late for that," she said weakly. Losing Funny Girl was something she tried so hard to get over but Rachel didnt think she ever would get over it. How could she get over her biggest dream slipping through her fingertips?
"Hey, its okay," Kurt wrapped his arm around her and pulled her close to him. Burying her face in his shoulder, she released the tears she had been holding in because of the show. Her shoulders began to tremble and she could feel Blaines arms wrap around her torso. He gently rubbed her stomach, shushing her comfortingly. It made her cry that much harder.
The three of them stayed huddled on the nursery floor for a while. When Rachels sobs subsided, She sat up and looked at Blaine, "Im sorry."
"Dont be sorry. I cant imagine how youre feeling," he gave her a reassuring smile. There was nothing more comforting than Blaines smile and she hated herself for thinking that.
"Oh!" she let out a soft hiccup. Glancing down at her stomach, she moaned.
"What is it?" Blaine asked nervously.
"I - I hate these stupid Braxton Hicks contractions," she announced, as her stomach gave another lurch. She took in a sharp breath and said, "I guess I got too worked up."
"Wait, Im sorry, youre having contractions?" Kurt bolted to his feet, his eyes wide. "Why arent we heading to the hospital? Its too soon."
Shaking his head, Blaine said, "Babe, its okay. They arent labor contractions. Its just something her body does to prepare for labor. Its totally normal and safe."
"Yes, Doctor Anderson," Kurt rolled his eyes, taking his position on the floor.
"I didnt know youve had any though," Blaine touched her stomach, sending chills down her spine. "Were getting too close to your due date. From now on, I want you to let me know when things change with you, okay?"
Rachel hesitated, feeling slightly uncomfortable with the idea. It wasnt like Blaine was her boyfriend anymore... But he was the father and he had a right to know. "Okay," she nodded, debating on how much she should actually tell him.
The newsstand was fairly deserted the next morning. Several people lingered reading a paper but Rachel brushed by them to grab a copy of the New York Times. Kurt had told her it was too unhealthy and she shouldnt do it but she had to know.
"Arent you the girl mentioned in the article?" the man running the stand asked, bluntly staring at her belly.
"No," Rachel snatched up a paper and quickly turned away, embarrassed.
"Yes, you are. I remember seeing your face on the paper. Youre the Funny Girl flop, Rachel Berry!" he said. His voice grew louder in excitement.
"Ugh," she grunted, storming away frm the stand. She found a wall to lean against a way down the block and stopped to read the article.
Penelope Marsh Is A Funny Girl!
When Funny Girl first announced its revival, I thought, "how are they ever going to pull this off? How could anyone compare to Barbra Streisand?" Rupert Campion announced that he found his Fanny, a small town girl named Rachel Berry. It sparked some interest and we were all curious to see how Berry would do.
That is, until Rachel Berry got pregnant and got fired from the show. I thought, "if Berry was the Fanny Brice, what Is Campion going to do now? This show will never make it."
I was very wrong. Penelope Marsh danced her way into the cast and into our hearts. Forget watching Rachel Berry waddle across the stage. Penelope Marsh is THE Fanny Brice. Shes talented, witty, and truly the Greatest Star. I applaud her for the hard work she threw into this role in such a short time. A wonderful performance! This girl has a bright Broadway future ahead of her. Not only will I see every show this girl stars in, but I will be making my way back toward the theater for another round of this Funny Girl.
The paper fell from Rachels trembling hand and she slumped to the ground. A sob escaped her throat and she buried her face in her hands.
The article was as bad as she expected it to be. The praise of Penelopes talent, the mention of Rachels pregnant mistake, and the utter truth that Rachel was never meant for the role she had dreamed about since she was two years old.
A pair of gentle hands scooped her up into their arms and she heard the soft comforting voice of her best friend. "Shh, youre going to be okay."
"K-Kurt, its over," she sobbed, clinging to his shirt. She could feel him struggling to stay steady and she began crying harder. "My Broadway career is d-dead."
"Honey, youre going to be okay," Kurt reassured her.
"Is she okay?" someone gasped, as Kurt rushed by. "Should someone call 911?"
Without a word, Kurt continued down the sidewalk. When they reached the apartment, he set Rachel on her feet and she swayed on the spot. "Sit down," Kurt gently guided her to the bottom stair. He sat down next to her and pulled her into a hug. "I just knew you were going to do this."
"I had to," she sniffed, wiping her eyes. She took a deep breath and said, "I had to know how she did."
"You know what would really test that?" Kurt said, raising his eyebrows. She shook her head and he said, "I think we should go see the show."
"No! No. No. No," Rachel pulled away from him. "You didnt even want me reading this article. Why would you want me to see the show?"
"Because I think itll help in your healing process," Kurt took her hand. "You are going to spend your life wondering about this show. If you see it, youre going to answer these questions that will haunt you."
"Even if it kills me to see that shes better than me?" Rachel looked at him sadly.
"I believe so," Kurt nodded. "Im going to get us tickets. If you absolutely can not handle it, you dont have to go, but I think you should try," Kurt kissed her cheek.
"Thank you, Kurt. You are seriously the best friend I could have," Rachel said, resting her head on his shoulder. "Thank you for rescuing me off the street today. You really are a knight in shining armor."
"As your best friend, its my job," he smiled.
After a long, hot shower, Rachel found Blaine waiting for her in the living room. "Can we talk?" he asked calmly.
"Yeah, sure," she moved toward the couch but Blaine stood up and shook his head.
"Why dont we go somewhere and talk?" He grabbed her coat, helping her into it. Taking her hand, Blaine led her out the door. "Kurt told me what happened this morning."
"What did he tell you?" she asked nervously.
"Just that you came out to read the article and had a mental breakdown," Blaine led her into the nearest coffee shop. "You came home got in the shower, which lasted a good half an hour."
"I was drowning my sorrows in the water," Rachel said miserably. At the exasperated look on his face, she added, "Blaine, its okay. I just needed time to relax. Im exhausted."
"Are you okay though?" Blaine asked, reaching across the table to take her hand with his right hand. "I think youre really bottling things up and I believe its wearing on you. Im worried about you."
"Im not bottling anything up," she snapped, pulling her hand away defensively.
"Sam called me," Blaine said flatly.
"Oh," Rachel replied.
"He told me about your breakdown the other day after that guy harassed you... We also talked the other day about how you use their apartment to get away from our apartment for a while," Blaine said. His eyes burned with concern.
"You dont know what its been like," Rachel said softly. She folded her hands in her lap. "You have no idea how hard this has been for me."
"Are you having regrets?" Blaine asked. His voice was barely above a whisper.
Staring into his sad eyes, Rachel tried to respond and couldnt find her voice.
"Rachel?" Blaine said.
"I dont know... Maybe? Im tired of being pregnant. Im tired of hurting over you and over this stupid Broadway show. I feel so tired and so helpless. I feel like Im barely keeping it together," Rachel sighed heavily.
"Why dont you talk to me about it?" Blaine insisted.
"When?" Rachel snapped. "Should I interrupt your movie nights with Kurt? Should I barge into your class and tell your professor that my problems are more important than learning how to cure cancer? Am I supposed to wake you up at night when my body is literally so uncomfortable that I cant sleep?" Tears formed in her eyes and she said, "You have no idea what this has been like for me."
"I would give up my time to be with you. Rachel, thats why Im here. I want to be here for you," Blaine cooed. He touched her hand again and said, "I know this pregnancy is hard for you."
"No, you dont," Rachel said, wiping her eyes on her shirt sleeve. He didnt understand half of it. Blaine didnt understand how hard it was to carry his baby while she was still trying to get over loving him for the last three years.
"Okay, I dont," Blaine nodded. "But I can try to make you feel better, right?"
"I guess," she sniffed.
"Then can I give you a gift to make you feel better right now?" Blaine smiled weakly.
"I doubt you could," she huffed.
"Lets test the waters," Blaine rose from his chair and held out his right hand to her. "Kurt and I have something waiting for you at the loft. I think you are going to like this one."
Leading her home, they arrived outside the door and Rachel looked at Blaine quizzically. "What am I going to find on the other side of this door?" she asked nervously.
"This," Blaine slid the door open to a room full of the people Rachel cared about the most.
The sight before Rachel brought tears to her eyes once more. Her dads, Burt and Carole, Mr, Schuester and the kids from glee club. They all made it: Quinn, Santana, Brittany, Tina, Puck, Artie, and Mike. The only one who didnt make it was Finn...
Rachels heart felt heavy with emotion and she began to cry. She would give everything for Finn to be there with their McKinley family. On the other hand,
it felt so wonderful to be back with her family and so overwhelming that they were all here for her years later. It was so much to take in.
Kurt came and kissed her cheek, "its not a traditional baby shower but we wanted a chance for all your friends and family to celebrate with you."
"I knew you had something to do with this," Rachel wrapped her arms around his torso and said, "Thank you. Youre the best."
"Theres our bright star!" her dads pushed through the crowd to reach their daughter. They hugged her tightly and Rachel felt another round of tears. Would she ever stop crying?
In time, she made her way around the room, greeting old friends and catching up on their lives. She had been so out of the loop. Puck was in the military. Santana and Brittany had eloped. Quinn graduated from Yale. Tina had graduated from Brown. Artie had graduated from film school and was currently working on a short film his friend Bethany had written. Mercedes even came forward and said, "I just finished recording my album and were setting up to have me be an opening act for Fifth Harmony on tour!"
Rachel began to feel a little dizzy from the overwhelming conversations unfolding around her. All of her friends had created bright futures for themselves, and here she was a pregnant Broadway flop, living with her gay ex-boyfriend and his current boyfriend.
They all knew it too. Tina had mentioned, "Were so sorry about Funny Girl. That must have been hard. Im sure thats why Kurt set up the shower for today, so itd take your mind off the Funny Girl reviews."
"Not helping Tina!" Blaine called from across the room.
"You look pale sweetheart. Are you okay?" Carole placed a hand on her shoulder.
Shaking her head to clear her thoughts, Rachel said, "No - Yeah, yeah, Im great." She was lying through her teeth. Hearing all the amazing stories about how far her classmates had made it left Rachel feeling like a failure. She had always been the biggest dreamer in the choir room. If anyone was destined to make it, Rachel had always believed it would be her. And now, shes the one who failed in her dreams before she really had a chance to live it.
"Why dont we open some gifts, huh?" Carole said. She whistled toward Blaine and said, "Come here, honey. Lets get these gifts going."
"Great! Do you want to start?" Blaine smiled, heading toward Rachel from his spot by Sam.
"Yes," Carole exclaimed, motioning toward Burt. He brought over a box that contained a bouncer for the baby.
Presents began rolling in from everyone. Mr. Schuester had given her a rocking chair. Her dads had bought her a changing table for the baby. Some of the glee kids went in on smaller items like toys and clothes for the baby. It was all overwhelming. Rachel felt grateful, but part of her knew that it was all simply out of kindness.
None of these kids ever appreciated her in high school. Rachel was always the obnoxious Jewish girl with dreams too big to fit in the choir room. They all hated her for her constant drive to be the best, so why were they here supporting her now? Was it all just because she had lost everything? Did people really look at her as that big of a failure that they actually pitied her?
"And finally, theres a gift from Kurt and myself," Blaine announced, carrying a large box toward her. He set it down and gave it a pat with his left hand.
Rachels mouth dropped and she stared at his hand. "What is that?" she asked.
"Nothing," Blaine quickly pulled his hand away and tucked it behind his back.
"Blaine!" Rachel stood up from the couch. She gripped his hand and placed it on top of hers. A ring had been placed on his finger and a horrified expression had formed on his face. "W-What the hell is this?" she choked out, her breath catching in her throat.
"Rachel," Blaine said calmly.
Trying to take a deep breath, Rachels chest felt constricted. She couldnt take in a deep enough breath, "Blaine, what the hell?" Rachel knew exactly what this meant. She knew that Blaine had completely stepped forward without her and there was a good chance this was going to leave her abandoned and unprepared for this baby, alone.
Blaine shrugged, "now is as good a time to tell all our friends and family that Kurt and I are engaged," Blaine said, his horror-struck eyes glued to Rachels pale face. He knew this was going to break her.
Rachel could feel all the blood drain from her face. Her stomach gave a sharp lurch and the dizzy feeling she had before worsened. She gripped Blaines hand tightly and breathed out, "what?"
"We were going to tell you but we just werent ready yet. I knew you wouldnt take it well," Blaine said, defending himself. "I didnt want to break it to you like this."
Not take it well? Rachel couldnt even breathe. It wasnt fair. Rachel knew she had to give up Blaine, but to completely lose him to Kurt like this left her feeling fearful. What if Blaine really moved on and just didnt care about the baby anymore? She couldnt raise the baby alone. What if he didnt really care about Rachel? The three years she spent with him had meant everything to her, and losing Blaine had broken her. To see Blaine move forward without hesitation.... How could Blaine be marrying Kurt? Why now? Wasnt he in the middle of having a baby with her? Wasnt it too soon to get engaged? Was he really breaking this to Rachel at her baby shower? Was this really happening?
"Rachel?" she could hardly hear Blaines worried voice. "Are you okay?"
Rachels breathing came out sharp and labored. She could feel herself sway on the spot. She clutched her belly and gave a soft whine, as the room began to spin.
"Woah, hey!" Blaine called. His arms grasped her shoulders, the same time another pair of strong hands wrapped around her torso, slowly guiding her to the couch. Lying Rachel on her back, Blaine called her name.
"C-cant b-bre breath," she gasped, trying to take in stronger breaths, but her chest felt tighter with every breath. Tears poured down her cheeks.
"Roll her on to her left side," Carole instructed. She sat down on the couch next to Rachel. Her voice sounded a million miles away as she called, "Rachel, honey, can you hear me?"
Before Rachel could even catch her breath, everything faded into darkness.