April 27, 2015, 7 p.m.
Come What May: Week 27 - Love Is A Battlefield
T - Words: 3,184 - Last Updated: Apr 27, 2015 Story: Complete - Chapters: 40/? - Created: Nov 02, 2014 - Updated: Nov 02, 2014 211 0 0 0 0
Hey, look at that, a faster update! I was trying to have this up yesterday for Darrens birthday, but it didnt happen. However, I told you I really wanted to get the rest of this up, so Im doing my best! Im really excited for you guys to see what the rest of this story holds. Were nearing the end, but I still have a little more for you, so bare with me!
Ill have the next update for you as soon as I can. Im thinking Monday or Tuesday again Until then, have a great weekend! Happy Glee Day! And all that jazz. :)
"Whats going on?" Sam asked as he, Mercedes, and Blaine made their way down the streets of New York.
"Well, its Kurt," Blaine shoved his hands in his coat pocket.
"Oh no, you two didnt break up, did you?" Mercedes asked, rolling her eyes. "Havent you guys been through enough drama?"
"Quite the opposite," Blaine shook his head. "He proposed."
"He did what?!" Sam and Mercedes said in unison. They gaped at him in surprise, and Sam stuck his finger in his right here just to pull it back out, like he hadnt heard properly.
"I know. Its weird. I dont even know where that came from," Blaine said. "Its not like weve been together that long."
"Did you say yes?" Mercedes asked, searching for his pocketed left hand for a ring.
"No, I didnt," Blaine pulled the box out of the pocket and said, "He left this behind when he ran out of the restaurant last night."
"He ran out?" Mercedes gasped.
"He was so upset. I went to a bar after leaving the restaurant. I wanted to give him space. When I came home, he was cuddled in bed with Rachel," Blaine told them, pocketing the box once more. "And when I got up this morning, he had already left the apartment."
"He didnt tell Rachel anything, did he?" Mercedes hesitated.
"I dont think so," Blaine shrugged. "She said he came in and told her we had a fight and he wanted to stay with her. She hardly slept last night anyway, but she said he barely spoke more than four words to her."
"I just worry about her finding out, because seeing you with Kurt is hard enough on her," Mercedes glanced at Sam. "She came over a couple weeks ago because she said she feels confined in that apartment. "
"I cant just not be with Kurt," Blaine replied. "I mean, she agreed to this living arrangement."
"And she told us she doesnt regret it, because she wants you to be involved," Sam told his friend. "She just said that it gets hard when she catches you two cuddling or holding hands or something."
Blaine nodded. He could expect that. "But what if we did get married? I cant act like I never want to kiss my husband or hold his hand... But I also hate that it hurts Rachel, because Ive done enough damage when it comes to her."
"Itd definitely be hard for her, but theres nothing she can do to change it, and I think she knows that," Mercedes swung open a door to a coffee shop, stepping inside. "Rachel isnt the reason you turned him down, is she?"
"No," Blaine shook his head. "Rachel has nothing to do with it."
"Are you sure?" Mercedes raised an eyebrow. "Or Is there another reason you turned him down?"
"What makes you ask that?" Blaine asked, taking his coat off and setting on the back of his chair. He sat down and watched Mercedes closely, while Sam ran to grab three drinks.
Mercedes shrugged, "I just wondered if youre unsure about sharing your baby with someone else." She glanced at Sam at the counter for approval but he looked confused.
"Its not just someone though. Its Kurt. I love him. Why wouldnt I want to share the baby with him?" Blaine folded his hands.
Mercedes replied, "Its just that youre okay with Kurt being around the baby as your boyfriend, but if you marry Kurt, its like youre handing the baby to him saying ‘here, be the third parent to my child. Take responsibility for my child. Thats a big commitment to make."
"I dont feel that way. Im with Kurt regardless of whether or not hes my husband," Blaine insisted. "I want Kurt to be a part of her life. I trust him."
"Yeah but I think Kurts in a similar situation without realizing it, so you could be oblivious to it too," Mercedes said.
"And what is Kurts situation?" Blaine asked, taking a hot cup from Sam, who sat next to Mercedes.
"I think Kurt might feel a little... left out. You have him but you also have Rachel and the baby. Your side of the relationship is more full. All Kurt has is you, and Im worried that he might feel a little lonely," Mercedes said as she took Sams hand.
"I... I guess I never thought about that," Blaine ran a hand through his curls. It made sense, and he felt guilty for making Kurt feel that way.
"Im not saying that is how he feels. He might not even notice that he feels that way. But the truth is that you do have more than Kurt," Mercedes said, her eyes full of concern. "I think thats wearing on him."
"I can understand that, but I want to share that life with Kurt. I want him around and someday I do want to marry him," Blaine sat forward. "I just dont know if Im ready for it today."
"Then whats holding you back from saying yes?" Sam asked.
He didnt answer. Blaine knew why he couldnt say yes, but it wasnt something he could discuss with Sam and Mercedes. If he wanted to fix this, he had to talk to Kurt.
"I have to go," Blaine jumped up and grabbed his jacket.
"Let us know how it goes!" Mercedes called after him, just before the door shut.
"Wheres Kurt?" Blaine entered the apartment shortly after his conversation with Sam and Mercedes.
"I dont know," Rachel said, lying on the couch. "I shot him a text message a while ago to see what he wanted for dinner but he never replied."
"Did he pick up an extra shift?" Blaine asked, his heart beating quickly.
"Not that I know of," she smiled, as Blaine sat on the couch next to her and placed his hand on her belly. "Blaine?" she asked quietly.
"Yeah?" Blaine gazed into her brown eyes.
"Are you two okay?" Rachel asked.
"I dont know," he whispered. "I really hope so, because I feel terrible for hurting him.
"What happened?" she said.
He couldnt tell her about the proposal, because he couldnt hurt her anymore. Avoiding her eyes, he said, "We got in an argument. It was silly. I accidentally said the wrong thing and upset him."
"Oh," Rachel placed her hand on top of his. "Well, I hope you can fix the problem. You two are good together,. I really care about both of you, and Im glad youre happy."
Blaine thought about what Mercedes said. Rachel has been brave for so long, but she admitted to feeling confined. Blaine wondered how much she really meant what she just said. "Thanks, Rachel," he smiled weakly
"Yeah," she rubbed the back of his hand.
"What about you? How are you doing?" he felt terrible for not having enough time for her. "Are you feeling okay?"
Rachel sighed heavily, "Oh, my body keeps screaming at me. My back hurts, my legs cramp, and sometimes I get these annoying headaches. Im only sleeping three to four hours a night and I feel like a whale. Look at this," she patted her large belly.
"Im sorry, Rachel," Blaine ran a hand over her belly. "I didnt know you were feeling so horrible."
She smiled weakly, "Oh Blaine, Im just feeling pregnant."
"Isnt that the same thing?" Blaine asked.
"Ha. Basically," she shifted on the couch, pulling herself into a sitting position. "Its okay though. Dont feel bad. Itll all be worth it when she gets here, wont it?""
Yeah but t I do feel guilty. Youve sacrificed so much for this little girl... for me," Blaine told her. "And Im sorry youve been through so much."
"Blaine Devon Anderson, do not feel guilty for getting me pregnant. This is our baby and even though carrying her is a challenge, its going to be okay. "I know we didnt have our happily ever after, but this baby is real and its happening, and theres nothing you can do or say to change that. Lets just be thankful for her Every time I feel her kick and every time I walk by that nursery, I get butterflies in my stomach," Rachel smiled.
"Are you sure those butterflies arent just the baby kicking?" Blaine smirked.
She picked up the pillow next to her and hit his head with it. "Shut up," Rachel laughed.
"Cant i tease you?" he asked.
"Not until we come up with the perfect name for the baby," Rachel replied. "If you cant decide, Barbra is still open."
"No!" Blaine said firmly. He bent over and kissed her forehead. "We are not naming her Barbra. End of discussion."
Fine," she pouted, crossing her arms over her chest.
A buzzing came from the coffee table and Rachel stretched her arm around Blaine to reach it. "Its Kurt... He just said whatever I want to make." Typing out a reply, she read along to her text, "Where are you, babe? Will you be home soon?"
Blaine felt his stomach flip. He was so worried about how Kurt would react the first time he saw Blaine. He had been so upset the previous night when he ran out of the restaurant. Blaine was anxious at the thought of seeing his eyes agonized like that again.
"He said hell be here soon," Rachel announced when her phone buzzed again.
"Hmm," Blaine nodded.
"its gonna be okay," Rachel said, smiling sadly. "He really does care about you, Blaine."
"How do you know?" he asked.
"Because he cried himself to sleep last night," she replied.
To this, Blaine didnt have a response.
Fifteen minutes later, the front door slid open and Kurt trudged in. His hair was a mess and his expression was worn. He hung up his coat and turned to the living room, where Blaine and Rachel sat on the couch. Her legs were draped over his lap and she sang softly to her belly.
Rachel paused to say "Hey, Kurt."
"Hi," he mumbled. He moved to the couch and sat on the arm beside Rachel. "Sorry I took so long."
"Thats okay. Are you all right?" Rachel said gently, touching his forearm.
Kurt locked eyes with Blaine and then quickly looked away. "Yeah," he whispered.
"Kurt," Blaine said quietly, sitting forward. "Can we talk about this?"
"Im not ready to talk to you about it yet," Kurt stood up and moved to Rachels room, shutting the curtain behind him, clearly still avoiding Blaine.
"What is that?" Rachel asked, when Blaine walked in with a stack of envelopes the following evening. He set them down on the kitchen table to open a particular envelope.
"A letter from Savannah," Blaine said, tearing the envelope open.
Kurt had his face hidden behind a magazine, sitting in the corner of the living room. Blaine noticed that his eyes peered over the top in interest, but he remained silent..
"Are you serious?" Rachel stood up and came next to him, glancing over his shoulder.
Holding the letter, he hesitated. "I cant do this," he whispered.
"Why?" Rachel asked.
"What if its bad news? What if shes worse? I cant take any more bad news," he said.
"But what if its good news?" Rachel said quietly, placing a hand on his shoulder. "Youll never know until you open it.
Unfolding it, he began reading:
Hi, Blaine!
How are you? Hows Rachel? Do you have a name for the baby yet? If not, Savannah wants you to remember the name Rose. We cant wait to see a picture of her!
Savannah is doing well. She started a round of treatment and its going okay. Some days are better than others but shes hanging in there. She really wants to speak to you sometime. Do you still have my cell phone number? Give me a call when youre not too busy.
Savannah wanted to send the baby a little gift, which you can find in the envelope.
We hope all of you are doing well, especially Rachel. Were keeping her and the baby in our thoughts. Say hello to Kurt for us!
- Beatrice Barker
He looked up from the letter and said, "I cant believe I never thought to even call her. I - Ive had so much on my mind and shes been gone over a month. How could it slip my mind?"
"They know youre busy though, and theyre busy too. Its okay," Rachel rubbed his shoulder gently. "Just give her a call sometime Shell be delighted just to hear from you.."
Reaching in the envelope, Blaine pulled out a pink pacifier that said "Princess" on it.
"Aww, her first pacifier," Rachel snatched it from his hand, cradling it in hers. Tears welled in her eyes and she said, "Can you believe its only a matter of a couple months before she uses this?"
Pulling her into a hug, Blaine said, "Yeah, its incredible."
Out of the corner of his eye, he watched Kurt rise from his chair, toss his magazine on the coffee table and head toward their room, closing the curtain behind him.
The action only confirmed what Mercedes had said the other day: Kurt was feeling left out of their family. And why shouldnt he? Blaine wanted Kurt to be a part of the family, so it was only natural for Kurt to feel the same way.
So why was Blaine denying him the opportunity that only seemed to be the right thing for them?
.After a couple more days of dancing around each other, Blaine decided that he couldnt let Kurt get away with this anymore. If they continued to act like nothing happened, Blaine was afraid their relationship might not hold up, and he couldnt live with that option.
He found Kurt sitting at the kitchen table one morning. As soon as Blaine entered the room,Kurt grabbed his cup of coffee and moved to the kitchen counter. "Hi," he said shortly.
"Kurt, sit down," Blaine said firmly, walking over and touching his arm. "You cant avoid me any longer. We need to talk about this." He placed his hands on Kurts shoulders and guided him toward the table.
Kurt sighed heavily. "What?" he asked.
Blaine pulled out the ring box from his pocket and set it on the table between the two of them. "I havent really set this thing down since you left it at the restaurant the other night," he confessed.
Folding his hands, Kurt said, "You should have just left it there. Breaking my wallet still would have hurt less than breaking my heart." His body stiffened and his expression hardened. Blaine could tell he was trying so hard to hide his emotion.
He reached across the table and gently brushed his fingertips along Kurts hand. "Will you please just give me time to explain why i said no in the first place? I think youll accept my answer."
Hesitating, Kurt closed his eyes and took a deep breath. When he found Blaine again, he said, "Fine."
"Kurt, I have made many mistakes in my life," Blaine started. "We talked about how I have regrets on the road to you. Not on the road Im on with you." Blaine sat forward and stared into those icy blue eyes. "I screwed up with Rachel. We lasted three years, and I tried so hard to keep that relationship going, despite my doubts about her. I knew I didnt have feelings for her in... that way, but I wanted to make it work, and I failed because of you. If I hadnt met you, i would still be hiding in the closet, probably terrified to be a father, simply because I knew I had no way out of the relationship I was in."
"Hmm," he hummed softly.
Blaine continued, "I worked hard for years to impress my father. Everything I did was for him. I went to medical school for him. I dated Rachel to prove I could hold a girlfriend long enough for his liking. It took me a long time to tell him about you. And when the truth came crashing out, it was because of you. i ruined my relationship with my father because having you was more important to me than his opinion."
Kurts body relaxed a little, but he still held a hard expression on his face. "Okay," he nodded curtly.
"I kept the baby a secret from you for a long time, and I lied to you about breaking up with Rachel when I was too afraid to do it. I did that because of you," Blaine said, seizing Kurts hand and holding it tightly. "I gave up everything that I had worked so hard for because being with you meant more to me than the time and effort I had put into things, just to throw them away."
"It wasnt all for me," Kurt huffed.
"It was for you," Blaine insisted. "I never would have had the courage to do what I did if you hadnt been there to push me and to motivate me to do the right thing. I did it because I knew I wanted you from the moment I laid eyes on you in that coffee shop. From the moment you introduced yourself, I knew I had to buy you that cup of coffee, because I knew I had to know more about you. I knew you were special."
"Im so special that you arent willing to spend the rest of your life with me," Kurt muttered.
Like everything else I turned down, I said no because of you. i love you so damn much, Kurt Hummel, that I am terrified of screwing things up the same way I screwed everything else up for you," Blaine said. He rose from his chair and knelt down in front of Kurt. "I am the farthest thing from perfect. I make too many mistakes, and Im not very good at romance. I dont know what Im doing half the time, and I get too involved for my own good." He took a deep breath and reached for the box on the table. "But the first thing that should sit on the top of your list of things you know about me is that... I love you more than anything in the world, and I want nothing more than to spend my life loving you."
"Does that mean youre changing your answer?" Kurts hard expression softened and his eyes lit up with excitement. it was like he had forgotten he was angry with Blaine at all.
"I said no before because I am so scared of losing you that the thought of saying yes seemed like a good way to rush things and lose you," Blaine pulled the ring out of the box and handed it to Kurt. "But if I had to choose between losing you now, because I was too afraid to take a risk or fighting to have you for eternity, than I would rather spend my life fighting for you."
"So thats a yes?" Kurt smiled.
"Im not saying Im ready to elope tomorrow, but I believe we can make things work if we try hard enough, and Im willing to try because of you," Blaine smiled.
"So thats a yes," Kurt replied.
"Yeah, Ill marry you, Kurt Hummel," Blaine said, as Kurt bent down to meet his lips. He closed his eyes and deepened the kiss. He could feel Kurts hand grasp his and gently slide the ring on to his finger. Once the ring had been placed, he entwined his fingers with Kurt, while his other hand moved up to cup the side of Kurts head.
In between kisses, Kurt whispered, "I love you."
"I love you too," Blaine replied.